Friday, January 9, 2009

Yankees Sign Riff Raff

The Yankees signed a few players to minor league deals in the last week, and included in this number is pitcher Jason Johnson, outfielder John Rodriguez, and shortstop Angel Berroa. For those of us who have never heard of these players, rest assured that you are not alone. As always, Respect Jeters Gangster has your back.

Angel Berroa: A product of the Kansas City farm system, Angel Berroa was set for greatness after he won 2003 Rookie of the Year award batting .287 with 17 homeruns and 73 RBI's. He beat out our very own Hideki Matsui for the award. Since then he's been on a downward slide and eventually lost the shortstop role to Tony Pena Jr., son of our beloved first base coach. Last year he played for the Dodgers, but barely made a dent with his anemic .230 average. The best way to describe Berroa is an energetic player with a Vlad Guerrero strike zone but an Adam Dunn strikeout rate, and David Eckstein type power. The Yankees hope he can give depth to the middle infield in the event that Jeter or Cano and Cody Ransom are unavailable. Berroa has played some second base, and played one out at third, but is by and large a short stop, and not a good one (.966 career fielding percentage).

Jason Johnson: A right handed veteran Johnson made his debut with the Pirates in 1997, and since then has played for the Tampa Bay Devil Rays, the Orioles, Tigers, Red Sox, Reds, Indians, Dodgers and the Seibu Lions of Japan. His most active year was 2006 where he played for three different teams including the Red Sox, where Carl Crawford had a three steal game against him, including swiping home. What makes the steal more impressive is that Johnson is right handed and thus faces third base. Johnson has a ton of big league experience, but not a ton of big league success. He did lead the 2005 Tigers in quality starts, but has had a losing record in every season except for 2 in Baltimore where he went 8-7 and 10-10. His career record is 56-100. However, he could help to spot start every now and again, and perhaps fill a hole in the rotation for a couple turns through.

John Rodriguez: A left handed outfielder who played with the Cardinals, Rodriguez is originally a product of the New York Yankees farm system. He has a championship ring with the 2006 Cardinals, but his only world series at bat ended in a strikeout. In fact he has zero hits in the post season, though admittedly its a small sample size. He did help his team in the NLCS by drawing 2 walks, driving in a run, and scoring a run all in one game. He spent the majority of the 2007 season on the DL, and opened spring training of 2008 with the Rays, but did not make the team. He's currently playing in the Puerto Rican winter league, but not particularly well. He has a .298 average with a .378 OBP in 332 at bats for his career.

So there you have it. Now you can repeat this information to your friends so you look really cool, and then all the girls will flock to you.

17 comments:

Quinn said...

so your telling me all i have to do is go out and say this stuff and girls will flock to me? YES! oh and smoltz... doesnt scare me at all

She-Fan said...

I like having someone named Angel on the Yankees. Especially since the Rays got rid of the Devil.

Fernando Alejandro said...

That's an overlooked perk of the Berroa signing Jane.

Quinn, chicks dig obscure player stats.

Quinn said...

i knew it. hahaha.. You guys heard from bronny or hank?

Fernando Alejandro said...

No, not yet. Hank will continue to dodge us. Especially now that Hal has taken the throne, and Hank is back to grooming horses.

As for Bronny Cash, he's always delighted to hear from us!

Yankee Magic said...

I tried spinning some of these stats to win over the wife, and got the evil eye and a "who the F@#$ cares?" Maybe it only works on strange chicks.

Quinn said...

Yeah i noticed that.. No hank at the press confrence for teix. i think hal finally got sick of him and exiled him to florida to groom horses for the rest of his life

Fernando Alejandro said...

Yankee Magic, it only works when you're trying to impress new women. Your wife already knows you so she was able to see it for what it was. Classic mistake.

Quinn said...

how about carl pavano's quote? what a d-bag

Raven King said...

The one thing I know about Angel Berroa is he and Manny should get an Emmy Award.

Raven King said...

Life without wise and insightful comments from jewels like Carl and Hank will be utterly boring.

And what happens to the "Words of Wisdom from the 2008 Yankees" series?

Fernando Alejandro said...

I just saw the Pavano quote. I'm just happy that era is over.

bigjf said...

I can't even get angry over the Pavano quote. I just shrug it off. It's like if a stranger on the street with Tourette's Syndrome were to call me a piece of shit. At first I'd get angry, but then when I realized what was going on I'd just feel bad for the guy. Pavano clearly doesn't live in reality, and the Yankees, being as charitable as they are, were good enough to give him $40M to aid his troubles. And look at what all that got him...a Porsche, until he wrecked it...a supermodel girlfriend, until her black heart dumped him....Sure, missing a season due to bruised buttocks was a bit much, but when that happened, I felt his pain. I felt like they were MY bruised buttocks. When he sat on a donut cushion, I did the same! Best of luck to you in fighting your disease of disillusionment, Pavano. I'm rooting for you...as long as you're not pitching against the Yankees, in which case I hope Jeter lines one right off your face.

bigjf said...

On a related note, even the biggest of Yankee haters can't find enough ass-backwards logic to side with Pavano on this one. Steve Phillips, Kruk, Harold Reynolds, George King, Wallace Matthews, even Peter Gammons...I don't think any of them could agree with Pavano. Maybe Lupica, but that's about it...

bigjf said...

Make that "disease of illusionment..." *facepalm*

TribeGirl said...

Yes, please root for Pavano, the d-bag that he is. For my sake, since I'm stuck with his sorry behind. Maybe, oh just maybe he'll do well in Cleveland....

WHO AM I KIDDING???? &#$@#$@$^$%#$%@#%$#^##^#^%#%#&^%$^&*(%$%$#@$%^&^%$#@@$%^*%&*^*(^(*^*(

Now I have another headache. Just shut up Carl.

Fernando Alejandro said...

If Pavano wins a Cy Young this year, I'll have to retire. I would be forced into retirement in my twenties, because at that point I could say that I've seen it all.