Sunday, January 31, 2010

Spring Preview: Right Field

Nick Swisher

2009 Stats: .249/29/82/.371

Nick Swisher is currently the only Yankees outfielder whose outfield position we actually know. The others may change, but this year, in right, will be Nick Swisher. Nickety Swish's most important contribution to the Yankees may be the more laid back atmosphere he brought into the clubhouse; and that despite his 29 home runs and 82 RBI. Prior to Swish's arrival, the Yankees did not allow music in the clubhouse before games. Swish didn't know that rule and took over DJing duties in Spring Training. It's mostly classical music, but still, it helped loosen up a clubhouse known for player interactions that were limited to passing the Grey Poupon from Rolls Royces (the main reason the new Yankees clubhouse is so large). Swisher's most important stat? .371. Swisher's OBP was 6 points higher than Johnny Damon's, and, considering he is an outfielder (and therefore faster than Nick Johnson), Swish may be the Yankees best fit in the number-two hole.

The most enduring image of Nick Swisher from the 2009 season came at the end of the World Series, when Swish marshaled a parade of Yankees while waving a giant World Series flag. Of course, this all turned to great controversy after the celebration. Swisher kept the flag, but the team claims the flag is theirs. There are ongoing negotiations over whether the flag will be returned to the team, or donated to the Hall of Fame.

2010 Prediction:

Nick Swisher will continue to hit for power from both sides of the plate, have 15 pitch at-bats, and get on base at an impressive clip. One day, a struggling Bobby Abreu will call Nick Swisher for advice. Nick responds, "Hey, remember that time I replaced you and then everyone forgot you were ever a Yankee?" Abreu weeps. Unbeknownst to Abreu, however, is that Swisher greets everybody that way.

Little Known Swisher Fact:

Swisher once grew a mohawk for charity. It was a pitiful creature, genetically engineered from the DNA of Mo Rivera and a hawk. Swisher learned that just because two things are awesome, doesn't mean you can combine them genetically and create a third awesome category. He never played God again.


Anonymous said...

Aw, I actually really liked Bobby. I understand why he's not here any more, though, and I love Swisher. If I hear one more person say "He's only a fourth outfielder! His BA was .249 last year!" I might cry.

And the most enduring image of Swisher is THE TIME HE PITCHED!!!!

Roberto E. Alejandro said...

That was a great moment, but I couldn't mock the Red Sox as an organization using the time he pitched, so I went with the waving of the WS flag instead.

Anonymous said...

Haha I didn't even get that reference! Nice one.