Sunday, January 31, 2010
I Realize You're Probably Tired of This, But. . .
The Reds are closing in on a deal for Orlando Cabrera. That may mean one less landing spot for Damon, leaving the Rays and the A's. It's not looking good for Johnny, but the longer he is on the market the more likely the Damon to Yankees speculation will arise again. Hell, it's already (re)started. Lupica still thinks the Yankees should make this happen. Why, you ask? Because, according to Lupica, the Yankees cannot win the World Series without Johnny Damon. That may have been true in 2009, but I hardly see why not having Damon precludes us from winning in 2010. It's not as though we lost Damon and didn't add any other players. What do you guys think?
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15 comments:
I think Lupica is THE WORST EVER, and I'm tired of hearing "Orlando Cabrera always goes to the playoffs and he does great there." 1997-2003 Montreal Expos: no playoffs. Had he stayed on Oakland in 2009, he wouldn't have gotten that team to the playoffs. He probably will not get to the playoffs on the crappy Reds. And then his playoff numbers are .234/.297/.312/.609.
But who cares, because I just found out that there's gonna be a women's Yankee Fantasy Camp and the main instructor is going to be (dreamy sigh) Tino. There are going to be a lot of women there that probably don't care about baseball all that much...
But yeah. Getting back to Lupica's point, I really don't see how Johnny Damon is gonna be THE guy that decides whether we make it to the playoffs/win the World Series or not. Everyone forgets how awful he was for two weeks before the playoffs, and until like Game 3 of the ALCS, because OMG he stole two bases in one play!!! (to be fair, that was awesome) Johnny was a great Yankee and he seems like a fun person, but he/Boras badly misread the market and now he's paying for it. It's sad. Maybe he'll come back for whatever Cashman can find in his couch cushions now, that would be cool.
I should add that Johnny Damon is the new Joba Chamberlain is the new Alex Rodriguez in that OMG I'm so tired of talking about him not signing/whether he should be in the bullpen or not or whether his fist-pumping is destroying humanity and the childlike innocence of baseball as we know it/whether he's the WORST PERSON IN THE WORLD because he struck out with a guy on third that one time!!!
Yeah, I don't see how our left fielder, especially a hypothetical 36 year old left fielder who couldn't play the last game of the WS b/c of leg injuries and who may very well get injured sooner in the 2010 season, is the determining factor of a potential return to the WS.
This topic is getting old, but I don't think it will die any time soon, largely b/c it is the last real hot stove story in baseball.
I think what Lupica actually said was they could win with Brett Gardner, but why try?
Seriously, Lupica, why try? Because Gardner has the potential to be a good player at a league-minimum price. That's why, and it's just the kind of obvious point that Lupica hates to make. He'd much rather argue that Damon possesses Mystery Element X that can't be found in any other player.
I think most Yankee fans agree that the best case scenario was Damon returning to the Yankees on a short and reasonable deal. He didn't want a short and reasonable deal so the Yankees went to Plan B. I hope Damon signs soon and has an average season so everyone can finally forget about this story.
From the column:
"They're better with [Damon] than without him. They don't win the World Series without him. Bring back Damon."
Lupica is definitely arguing that the Yanks don't repeat without Damon. It's the second to last line of the column.
Boras probably said the same thing to Cashman, right before the part about Damon's wine and wolverine DNA.
I bet Lupica already wrote his columns about Jeter's free agency. "Derek Jeter is the heart and soul of the Yankees, and who can put a 'budget' on heart and soul? The Yankees should re-sign The Captain to a 5-year, $150 million contract to give him a proper send off. You don't pinch pennies with Jeter!"
Maybe, just maybe - and ugh, I hate to give Lupica the benefit of the doubt - when he said "they don't win the WS without him," he meant in 2009. Which is fine, but we probably don't win the World Series in 1996 without John Wetteland and I think we ended up doing okay without him (though I'm sure after Mariano blew that save in the 1997 ALDS, there was a lot of "He can't handle the postseason. Choker. We never should have gotten rid of Wetteland, we're never winning again!!!").
While I would agree with the idea that we wouldn't have won the '09 WS without Damon, I still think that sentence refers to '10.
Any move can be second guessed, but if the Yanks don't repeat, it won't be because Damon was missing.
A do-it-yourself guide to writing a Lupica article:
1. Give each sentence its own paragraph. That way each of your statements looks profoundly important. Plus, it doubles the length of your article!
2. Argue that whatever the Yankees are doing is wrong. This incites controversy and keeps your name in the conversation, even if your point is idiotic! Because you are simply trying to stir the pot, it doesn't matter if (a) your point has no merit; or (b) your point contradicts your earlier arguments (like it was wrong for the Yankees to spend so much on other free agents).
3. Throw in lots of figurative comparisons. The Yankees' budget position is siller than late night talk shows! It took more digging than they needed to find that Red Sox shirt! This further pads your article length (why say something in four words that you can say in twelve!) and gives your readers something they can relate to. It doesn't matter if your references are months or years old, or make no sense. You can basically write at a Michael Scott level of creativity and wit.
4. End your article with a plea for management to do something. That way, you can write another article later either (a) praising yourself for charting a course for the organization; or (b) further berating management for ignoring your brilliant suggestions.
Now you too can be Lupica!
Was Lupica the one who wrote the "if Andy/CC can deliver on short rest, Girardi will be right. If Andy/CC can't, Girardi will be wrong and he should have used Gaudin" article during the WS, or was that some other dumbass?
I really miss Fire Joe Morgan. A bunch of Yankee fans should make a site like that. It'd be the same, except with like 50% less Jeter insulting and "what are you talking about, Jason Varitek is awesome"s
People With Brains who enjoyed Fire Joe Morgan also liked
http://enough-lupica.com/
(sorry. I'm too dumb to make real links here)
I'm not sure if they're still updating it, but there's a lot of good reading there.
I never read him because I can find out how much the Yankees payroll is a million other places.
Joe
Thanks for that link, other anonymous. Unfortunately, that site barely seems to update any more and the comments got overrun by a Mets troll going on about "A-Roid" (OMG original!!!) and "HGH Pettitte" (sorry you can't make an awful pun about that?) noooooo
This from Lupica's article about the end of the ALCS:
"The Angels got Rivera for a run in the eighth, and here is all you have to know about that: It was the first postseason run Rivera had given up at home since the 2000 Subway Series against the Mets. But then the Angels fell apart in the field in the bottom of the eighth and it went to 5-2 for the Yankees and you would have bet everything in the mayor's bank account that Rivera would close the deal from there."
AND AND AND AND AND
For me, the most annoying Lupica trait is his use of sentence fragments for dramatic effect:
"The Yankees needed Damon. They needed him. Like water. Needs oxygen. To breath."
Okay I know I said Lupica is THE WORST EVER but honestly Shaughnessy (I think I spelled something wrong there) is about fifteen times worse. And yes, most Red Sox fans find him totally embarrassing to boot, which is good. They should.
"Edgar Martinez shouldn't be in the Hall of Fame. Jim Rice should be. Jim Rice was feared. Edgar Martinez wasn't." (a. this is a stupid reason to put someone in the HOF/keep them out; b. if you weren't scared when Martinez came to bat against your team, then you just weren't paying attention.
Jim Rice's OPS on the road: .789. That's absolutely not a HOFer and not any reason to fear anyone. I highly recommend looking at the sponsorship on Jim Rice's Baseball Reference page, BTW.)
&
this:
http://www.boston.com/sports/baseball/redsox/articles/2009/09/27/theyre_not_showing_all_their_cards/
It's awesome for the lulz.
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