Yankees in Mix for Garza, Red Sox Land Bailey

Its recently been reported that the Red Sox have traded for Oakland closer Andrew Bailey. In the meantime, rumors have it that Theo Epstein is listening to offers for Matt Garza, and the Red Sox, Yankees and Blue Jays are all in the mix. Garza pitched pretty well for the Rays a couple years back and could be a good pick up, but the Yankees haven't been willing to part with their prospects. With 2 other AL East teams in the mix, I'm sure the asking price will be high. In other news, the Yankees have signed Hideki Okajima to a minor league deal in hopes of having him compete as the left handed specialist. Okajima was very succesful for a number of years with the Red Sox and could be another lightning in the bottle situation for the Yankees. Lastly, A-Rod's knee was operated on by Kobe Bryant in his guest house in Los Angeles. The procedure takes A-Rod's own blood, and injects it into his knee, a process which the human body is incapable of completing itself.

Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, and a Preemptive Happy New Year

With the holiday season fully upon us, it is likely that news from the Yankee world will continue to be sparse. So sparse in fact that we forgot to wish everyone a merry Christmas as the Yankees off season had lulled us to sleep. For this reason, we would like to now wish everyone a late merry Christmas, happy holidays for anyone who doesn't celebrate Christmas, and of course a happy new year to everyone because whether you celebrate new years or not, the new year is still coming.

With that said, the recent news that the Yankees are paying their lowest luxury tax is proof of a page being turned in Yankeedom. Over the past few years, the Yankees have shifted from the previous strategy of big free agent spending and past-their-prime trades. Don't get me wrong, the Yankees still spend big on free agents and make trades but now the deals are getting smarter. CC Sabathia, despite the Yankees bizarre strategy of outbidding themselves to land him, was a good signing. It wasn't the Kevin Brown, Randy Johnson approach to the rotation. Sabathia was a young pitcher in his prime, and we've reaped the benefits of that. Granderson and Swisher were two very intelligent trades that have landed us two cost controlled productive players. Last season, the front office diverted from the smart building strategy and signed Soriano, but I think they learned their lesson as they haven't jumped at anyone like that this year. If this holds out and the front office doesn't panic, we could actually see the Yankees build a team from their own farm system.

Yankees Perplexed By Luxury Tax Bill

The Yankees were recently hit with a $13.9 million luxury tax by MLB. Yankee brass, however, was for the most part befuddled by the bill.

"Thir...teen? Million?" asked a confused Randy Levine. "Do numbers even go that low?"

"When I saw the number, I thought it was the latest minor league signing bonus by the Nationals," explained Brian Cashman. "I've never heard of a number that low associated with the Yankees. I called experts at Columbia University just to make sure it was an actual number and not a theoretical construct or algorithm or something like that."

"We haven't paid it yet," explained new Boss, Hal Steinbrenner. "You know how regular checks have that line which ends with the printed word 'dollars'? My checks end with the printed words 'billion dollars', so I can't pay the bill until I get my new pedestrian checks. That's how they're known in the industry."

One Yankees executive raised a more pressing social concern: "I read about a number like that in college once. How are the Pirates expected to live on that this year?"

Rangers Win Rights to Darvish

The Rangers have won the rights to negotiate with Darvish with a record setting $51.7 million bid. Now that the Darvish sweepstakes are over, Yankee fans are left to wonder what's next. The Yankees weren't really in this sweepstake, and Cashman has preached patience in this hot stove season. Last season the Yankees got antsy and signed Rafael Soriano for no reason, so the idea of signing just to sign someone has really lost its appeal to the Yankee front office. Apparently, the Yankees are going to stay the course, and let some of their own prospects compete for starting spots in the rotation. This could very well be a rebuilding year, but it could pay out big for the future.

Braun's Failed Drug Test Due to Private Medical Issue

Yes, its been reported that the reason for Ryan Braun's failed drug test was a medication he was taking for a "private medical issue". Though the medical issue has not been mentioned, many wonder if its the same "private medical issue" that Manny Ramirez had forcing him to take a medication that caused his failed drug test. Of course, Ramirez's medication was a female fertility drug, which I would definitely want to keep private too. Although Matt Kemp asks that we not jump to judgement about Braun, I have to wonder, if you're taking a drug, any drug, for a personal medical issue in the midst of an MVP caliber season, wouldn't you want to run it by the players union or MLB? Get some sort of sign off? It didn't work for JC Romero who was suspended even though he had gone to the officials asking if a certain over-the-counter product was okay to use and then being told it was. He even brought the container he had purchased to his hearing, showing that it had no warning label on it. Regardless he had to serve his suspension. But at least with Romero it looked like the officials were on a witch hunt, whereas with Braun it looks like he's covering up after getting caught. I'm curious to see how this plays out, but the question is, if Braun is found guilty, will Kemp get the award?

Yu Darvish Posted, Waiting on Announcement

Darvish has been posted and bids have been entered! The Yankees allegedly have a bid in on him, as do several other teams hoping that he won't be another Matsuzaka or Igawa, and will in fact be the Japanese Cy Young. My impression is that the Yankees will not be winning this bid. There are teams much more desperate, and the Yankees have been following a much more measured approach to building the team. Namely, that approach is to not build the team, which is a bold approach considering our rotation last season was pieced together with 3 unknowns (Garcia, Colon, and Hughes), 1 rookie (Nova), and 1 veteran who just didn't have it (Burnett). But the approach could work. If we get the 2011 Nova, the 2010 Hughes, the 2001 Garcia, and the 2008 Burnett, we could very well have a powerhouse rotation.

Reclamation Projects

This has been the quietest hot stove season in Yankee land in recent memory, and I for one am sick of it. So here's a couple reclamation projects to consider. Available on the free agent market are former starters Scott Kazmir and Justin Duchscherer. In the past I advocated against signing Duchscherer because it would take too long to learn how to pronounce his name correctly. An investment of time I just wasn't willing to make. But with so little going on with the Yankees, and so much time on my hands, I think its time. Sign Duchscherer to a minor league deal, snatch up Kazmir while you're at it, and lets see if either of them can compete for a spot as the 5 guy, or at the very least as another releiver. Kazmir may be the left handed specialist we've been looking for. All I'm asking is that we do something, anything, to give me something to talk about at the water cooler at work. Right now, I'm left talking about life, and people's kids and crap like that. C'mon Yankees!

Matt Kemp Is Pissed Right Now

Beside being arguably undeserving of the NL MVP award from a purely statistical standpoint, Ryan Braun has now tested positive for PEDs. While he embarks on his Floyd Landis Tour of Innocence, the rest of us are left to pick up the pieces. Writers are mad, feeling deceived once again by a very rich man who claimed he could hit baseballs very far and with frequency. It hurts. This is the sports world's version of Occupy Wall Street. Humble writers just scraping out a living being duped and manipulated by those in power. Or at least with power, and speed, maybe a couple other tools if they're lucky. Either way, we're all surprised by this turn of events. Except maybe Braun, he presumably knew he was taking PEDs, unlike A-Rod. There's only one thing we can do at this point: apologize to Matt Kemp for giving an award that probably should've been his to a player with better protection in his line-up and PEDs in his system. Damn. In his own defense, Braun did have this to say: "I'm a computer genius, like the Terminator."

So true.

Give Me Something To Work With Guys!

The Yankees are denying a report that they have made an offer to free agent pitcher Hiroki Kuroda. That's a real d**k move by the Yankees. Just humor us. Say you made a preliminary offer. Lie. I don't care. There is nothing to write about. News is so sparse it's hard to even make up something plausible. Please, do something. Please. Pretend even. Please.

A Sprinkling of News

There hasn't been much to report of late, but there have been some small pieces of news that are noteworthy. The Yankees posted $2 million to the Seibu Lions of Japan, to have exclusive negotiation rights for shortstop Hiroyuki Nakajima. It appears to be a depth move, that won't cost a fortune and on that end it looks like it could be a smart pick up (depending on what his contract demands are). Last year in Japan he batted .297 with 16 homeruns, and 100 RBI's. Power typically doesn't translate to the majors, which is why you see a guy like Akinori Iwamura be a 20-30 homerun threat in Japan, and hit 7 when he came to the Rays. It will be interesting to see what kind of player he is, and if he can be a good defensive presence on the field.

Additionally we picked up right handed pitcher Brad Meyers from the Washington Nationals in the rule 5 draft. Good for us.

The NY Post reported that the Yankees are willing to trade AJ Burnett and eat $8 million of the remaining $33 million left in his contract. Shockingly, there have been no takers.

Outside of Yankee land, the big players are starting to move. Heath Bell and Jose Reyes have been signed by the Miami Marlins, who have apparently invested all their money to sign free agents, leaving none to design their new hats. They have a substantial offer in to CJ Wilson, who is looking at a less substantial but still relavant offer from his home town team the Angels. Speaking of the Angels, they just signed Pujols to a 10 year deal. I'm sure signing a 32 year old player to a 10 year contract won't come back to bite them at all.

Standing Pat...Still

It was recently reported that the Marlins picked up closer Heath Bell and shortstop Jose Reyes, making one of the biggest splashes of this hot stove season. The Yankees on the other hand have remained disengaged. The GM meetings are going on right now, but Cashman doesn't seem all too interested.

"I went to speak to Cashman." Explained one rival GM. "I came into his hotel room, and he had what appeared to be a draft board of baseball cards of historical players. He pretended to be on the phone like he was drafting players, and he got really excited when he picked up Cy Young and Honus Wagner in two consecutive draft picks. I tried to interrupt him to discuss a trade idea, but he was like 'I just got Cy Young, who do you got!?'" So the negotiation didn't go anywhere."

While the Marlins are spending like the Yankees, and the Yankees are playing it quiet, Yankee blogs across the country continue to suffer.

Yankees Memorabilia Auction for the Domestic Violence Project

Over the past few years, the clubhouse manager of the Trenton Thunder has been running an auction to benefit the Domestic Violence Project. The auction bids off a number of Yankees memorabilia including signed hats, bats, spikes and balls by both current Yankees, and Yankees prospects. As the money all goes to a great cause, remove all your inhibitions, start bidding and bid often! They got Derek Jeter, Andy Pettitte, Reggie Jackson, Hector Noesi, Manny Banuelos, and Dellin Betances game used and signed stuff! Even Shane Victorino pitched in with a couple autographs. They all come with certificates of authenticity. These make great Christmas gifts! Get in on it!

Breaking News Story!

Not really. But the Red Sox do have a new manager, one Bobby Valentine. Valentine has spent the last few years managing in Japan, which should give the Sox some key insights into the next player they overbid for/overpay from the archipelagic nation. You may be wondering how this alters the rivalry. It doesn't.

Things That Have Happened Since We Last Posted

Recently, we here at the RJG have taken the Joel Sherman approach to blogging, posting infrequently and with no regard to whether or not there are any developments in the world of the Yankees. I'm not going to lie, it's a good approach. Far less taxing than actually having to think of something to say. But it is time to give you, our loyalish readers, a new update. Since we last posted, it was reported that Mo might have surgery on his vocal chords and that the Yankees reached a one-year agreement with Freddy Garcia for Pedro Feliciano money ($4M). That's it. That's all the updates we have and that you already knew about. See you in six weeks.

The New CBA

Reports indicate that the new CBA is more or less done, and will likely include HGH blood testing. This is bad news for Yankee fans, who are counting on a big 2012 from Alex Rodriguez. Well, we can forget about it now. At least MLB hasn't banned the stem cell therapy Bartolo Colon got last year, even if the Federal government has. Maybe A-Rod should look into that. The CBA also includes a litany of items nobody gives a $#!% about but apparently took a while to negotiate. I guess nobody could bring themselves to care enough to settle the matters. These include things like amateur draft compensation, free agent signing compensation, and international free agent compensation. You might be saying to yourself that these are important matters. They affect competitive balance and we hate losing draft picks for signing Rafael Soriano to an ill-advised contract. But if you can name a draft pick from the previous two seasons for any team whose last name isn't Bichette, Strasburg, or Harper, you need to close all the adult entertainment tabs surrounding RJG in your browser, then go ahead and close RJG too, and go outside. Seriously. Go outside. 20 minutes. That's all I'm asking. It's for your own good. Seriously.

Time for a Call

It's been ages since we last spoke to Yankees GM Brian Cashman via satellite phone, but with the GM Meetings starting up, it was time to get him on the horn and find out his plans for this offseason. The following is a transcript of our conversation:

BC: Hello?

RJG: Hey Bronny. It's been a long time.

BC: Yeah. It has. Look, I'm kind of busy. I can't talk right now.

RJG: Oh. $#!%. Do you have, like, some top secret negotiation going on right now?

BC: Yeah, something like that. I gotta . . .

RJG: Whoa, whoa. Slow down Bronny. Just give me a little taste, you know, let me wet my beak a little. What are you workin' on?

BC: I can't discuss that right now, but it's big.

RJG: Pujols big? Prince Fielder big? CJ Wilson medium? Come on, Bronny! Look, I'll just report it as a rumor. Unsourced.

BC: Okay, but you can't tell anyone! Especially those @$$holes down the hall from Milwaukee!

RJG: Oh $#!%. You're signing Prince Fielder, aren't you?! You crazy bastard! Where are you going to put him?

BC: No. It's not Fielder. It's not a player acquisition.

RJG: It's not a player acquisition? What are you talking about?

BC: Look, I'm on the other line with Pizza Hut and I got them to throw in a free medium with the purchase of a large and breadsticks. I don't even have a coupon, but I lied and said I did but that I left it in my other suitcase. I'm trying to get some free chicken wings and pepsi bottles. Don't blow this up for me!

RJG: Why would the Milwaukee guys care about that?

BC: Because they're jerks, that's why.

RJG: When you got to the hotel, did you go straight for the mini-bar or did you remove your coat first?

BC: That's awfully judgmental of you. You know what I think?

RJG: What?

BC: I think you're jealous of my mad negotiating skills.

RJG: Can we please talk about baseball?

BC: No. You're mad because when you order a pizza you pay full price and you don't get $#!% for free. You're probably eating a pizza right now, aren't you?

RJG: What does that have to do with anything?

BC: You paid full price, didn't you?

RJG: Can we please change the su. . .

BC: You paid full price and now you're upset that I'm going to get a free medium without a coupon. And some pepsi. Pepsi and free mediums.

RJG: I hope you choke on that medium pizza.

BC: I'm more worried about choking on all this money I'm saving!

RJG: You motherfu. . .

[Click]

So there you have it folks. The GM Meetings are underway and the Yankees are hard at work planning their offseason; perhaps even laying the groundwork for a Curtis Granderson-type trade come the Winter Meetings.

Where's the Noise?

Years ago, Savion Glover taught us all to bring da noise and da funk. But since signing CC Sabathia to a one year extension last week, the Yankees have been surprisingly quiet. In the meantime, other teams have stolen the spotlight. The Marlins have given a tour of their new facility, and a contract offer, to every available free agent in baseball, and some in a few other sports. The Nats had their catcher kidnapped by Colombian drug lords, and when Jimmy Carter failed to secure his release after 48 hours of direct negotiations, a Venezuelan black-ops military unit secured his rescue with peace offerings from an M-16. Where were the Yankees during all of this? Doing a coat drive. WTF? That may get you some blog coverage (not here of course, we already have coats) but not national media attention. Meanwhile the Hanshin Tigers continue to mock us after tricking us into throwing millions at Kei Igawa on the premise that he would throw balls down in the strike-zone. Even worse, Scranton/Wilkes-Barre, the only minor league team in baseball that's not sure what town it plays in, continues to undermine our future. This week better be different, or else . . .

Time to Make a Decision

The Red Sox have just lost their closer to the Philadelphia Phillies. Earlier in the offseason, they had lost their Manager and GM to chicken wings and beer in the clubhouse. With everything going on around Boston, it is only natural to ask, who will be our rival next season?

Don't get me wrong. We'll still act like, despite their 20 game deficit in the standings, beating Boston is key to our baseball success. But, for a real thrill, we're going to need a new rival. Just on a part-time basis mind you.

We could stay internal, keep it in the division and look at Tampa Bay, but it's hard to hate a team whose home stadium is filled with your own fans when you play them. It makes it hard to get aggressive. Besides, half the Yankees live in Tampa anyways, making the Trop basically a home game for us. The Rays can't serve as our rival.

The Phillies are an option. After all, they keep landing players we'd love to have. Halladay. Lee. Oswalt. Now they signed Papelbon? Well, it's not that we wanted Papelbon, and actually they kind of did us a favor. Not that I want to face Bard with his 110mph change-up, but I want to have to look at Papelbon even less. Plus the Phillies play in another league. Different league + did us a favor = not our new rival.

But maybe I've made a mistake. Maybe I didn't look internal enough. What about the Scranton/Wilkes-Barre Yankees? Those motherf@#$%*s regularly send us players who don't pan out and give up runs as though its contractually stipulated that they do so. Remember when we gave Andrew Brackman his own country to play for us? How did that whole Scranton development plan go? These dirty sons of dishes keep screwing us time and time again. I think we've found our new rival.

Wilson at $75 million?

According to this New York Post article, it is believed that Wilson could be signed in the 5 year, $75 million range. That's $15 million per season. For comparisons sake, Burnett signed a 5 year, $82.5 million contract, or $16.5 million per season. That would put Wilson at 36 in the last year of his contract. Yesterday we posted that Wilson, as the top free agent pitcher would likely get more than Burnett's deal, in both years and dollars, and that we didn't think he would be worth the investment. But say he could be signed in the neighborhood of 5 years and $75 million, is he worth it then?

That article also mentions that Cashman has been in contact with Edwin Jackson's agent, Scott Boras. We know what Jackson does: throws hard, but can't find the strike zone. But I wonder if he may be a better option lower in our rotation than say, us hoping on a Phil Hughes comeback, or signing Colon or Garcia again.

Why Not Wilson?

I'll admit that for a team entering an off season where the biggest need is pitching, displaying little interest in the top free agent pitcher makes little sense. But that seems to be what's going on with the Yankees and CJ Wilson. He's been succesful as a starter, is a lefty, so why have the Yankees been so cool towards him? The main issue isn't whether he will better the team or not. He definitely would. He's a much more stable presence than AJ Burnett or Phil Hughes, and would pitch better than Garcia or Colon can at this stage in their careers. He'd slot in as the perfect number 2 behind Sabathia. However, Wilson is not a number 2 pitcher according to this market. What this means is that the $82.5 million for 5 years we gave to AJ to be our number 2, is probably way too short in both money and years to land CJ Wilson. In this market, he is the top ace and a left handed one at that. This doesn't even take into account that he's only been a starter for 2 years, has a delivery that raises health concerns, and is 31 going into free agency. It would not be surprising for him to get 6-7 year offers, which would put him at 37 or 38 by the end of his contract. For all these reasons, the Yankees haven't jumped all over him as they did with Cliff Lee or CC Sabathia. Personally, I think the Yankees may be best served trying to bring up some of their prospects. Noesi should get a shot, and maybe a mid season call up for Betances or Banuelos could give us some results. But if we do this, we may have to concede the season (think 2008 Joba, Hughes and Kennedy).

Gold Gloves and Silver Bats

Cano and Granderson won silver slugger awards, while no Yankee was picked for a gold glove. Its not surprising that we didn't win any gold gloves. For the most part we played very good defense, but we weren't a web gem team. Granderson and Gardner were probably our best defenders, but centerfield is a defensively rich position, and the left field award was won by a converted third baseman who recorded 20 outfield assists. Its tough to beat that.

Now with these announcements out of the way, the question is what is going on with the players union negotiation? As far as I can see, slotting continues to be the biggest hold up, and it really shouldn't be. Slotting seems like a reasonable request in a sport with no salary cap. Owners look greedy when they want a salary cap, but the slotting issue makes the players look greedy. In the interest of the game, these negotiation should come to a resolution soon so we can focus on what really matters: the hot stove season.

Off Season Plan In Full Swing

CC Sabathia signed an extension which puts him at 5 years, $122 million for the rest of his time in pinstripes, and this of course locks down the most glaring need of the Yankees off season. However, the Yankees rebuilding plan for this off season goes as follows:

Step 1: Sign Sabathia.

Step 2: ?

This is an odd year for the Yankees since where they have needs, there isn't really a market to replenish, and where the Yankees are not looking to fill holes, that's what the market is supplying in abundance. The Yankees need pitching, but they aren't too high on CJ Wilson, and Yu Darvish seems like he'll be too pricey. Those are the top players available. The Yankees aren't looking for a bat, yet Albert Pujols and Prince Fielder are hitting the market, and they both carry big bats. The Yankees have to hope either for a trade, or for some rookies to grow this year. I'm all for having some of the up and coming pitchers compete for a spot, but if that's the tactic for this year its going to be a long winter.

CC Returns

Looks like a deal is done.

Slotting, I'm All For It

According to this article cited on the Lohud blog the last major issue in the MLB labor negotiations is about slotting in the first year players draft. Slotting is basically a system where there is a fixed signing bonus attributed to each round of the draft so that all players drafted in that round would receive the same bonus. A couple years ago I wrote about this topic, and still feel the same way: I'm all for it. Yes, small market teams receive money from MLB because of revenue sharing, and they can use this money to sign players. But the truth is, these small market teams aren't going to compete in the free agent market. As a result, they need to rely heavily on the draft. Some will suggest that small market teams can also go the trade route to build their teams, but this won't work unless they have quality prospects to trade. Again, it all goes back to the draft. So what happens when players like Stephen Strasburg, Rick Porcello, or even Andrew Brackman become available in the draft? They make multi-million dollar contracts without even having played a single game in the major leagues. And since some small market teams know that top prospects are going to demand a lot of money, they'll often times skip them in the draft for a lesser talent knowing that they won't be able to afford them. As a result, the teams that need the draft the most, don't benefit from their higher draft pick. And don't get me wrong, guys like Strasburg and Porcello or legitimate big league talents. But they should not receive veteran free agent money before proving they can play at the big league level. Because there is no salary cap, those guys will see big contracts in their future, but they should have to earn them with their production in the majors, not their production in college ball. In this way, slotting would make the draft do what it should do: give the best pick of prospects to the crappiest teams.

The one concession MLB should make if they haven't already is make an MLB scholarship fund available to players drafted out of high school and junior college. The idea is that for players drafted lower in the draft, their signing bonuses are typically not life changing. If they devote 4-5 years of their lives to playing minor league ball (where the salaries are not life changing either), and they never make it to the majors, it would be good for them to have the option to go back to school with a paid scholarship from MLB. I just think of it from the players perspective. You sign lower in the draft as a high school player, you play a number of years in the minor leagues, get injured or released for whatever reason, your big league dreams are no longer available to you, and now what options do you have? You've committed the opening years of your adult life to a career that is now unavailable to you. An MLB scholarship would be a nice way to take care of players in this position.

What do you all think? Are you for slotting? Against it?

La Russa Had Phone Problems

For those of us out there wondering how La Russa could ever have lost a game, the reason became clear during his press conference when he revealed that the phone that connects the bullpen to the dugout had poor volume. La Russa was calling for ace closer Motte, but only got Rzepczynski warming up. Later, La Russa called for Motte again, but the bullpen heard Lynn who was apparently supposed to be unavailable for the game. Though La Russa blamed poor phone volume, the truth was that it was actually just a miscommunication.

"I thought we had worked out a new communication system." Explained bullpen coach Lilliquist. "So that no one could steal signs. Which in hindsight doesn't make any sense since everyone can see who's warming up in the bullpen, and there aren't really any signs to steal."

What was the communication system?

"Basically the way it works is that what you say you want, you don't actually want, and what you don't say you want, you need to infer somehow that its what you actually want. Its called the 'Talking to Your Girlfriend' communication system. Its really confusing, and I'm really bad at it. Its why I sent in Lynn, and why I'm sleeping at a friends house tonight." Said Lilliquist.

So there you have it. Poor communication can even harm your world series hopes.

Holland Dominates

If any of you watched yesterday's World Series game you probably noticed the fine pitching performance by Rangers pitcher Derek Holland. He went 8.1 innings, striking out 7 while shutting out the Cardinals to even the series at 2-2. And he's left handed! It made me think of how patience with the young talent can go a long way. Back in 2009, Holland had a 8-13 record with a 6.12 ERA for the Rangers. A couple years later, he's locking down a pivotal game in the world series. Dellin Betances made 2 appearances for the Yankees this year pitching 2.2 innings, walking 6 and allowing 2 runs. Not a particularly inspiring debut, but its such a small sample that not much can be drawn from it. The point is, it's not looking like we're going to sign our way to a respectable rotation. We need to grow our own talent, and a guy like Holland shows what the payout could be. The Rangers entire world series rotation not to mention their closer are homegrown talents.

Now I Have to Watch

I haven't really been paying attention to the World Series beyond checking the scores. Partly I'm still too hurt by the Yankees early exit. I'm also utterly unnerved by the Yankees inability, so far, to retain Brian Cashman or sign Prince Fielder. But after last night, I have to watch. Albert Pujols hit three home runs, with 40 RBI, and advanced stem cell research well beyond its current bounds between innings. He even cloned a dinosaur. No player since Babe Ruth has cloned a dinosaur during a World Series game, though one player was mauled by one. So now I have to watch. Pujols better repeat yesterday's performance. Or else . . .

Yankees Continue Service to Humanity

As pointed out on the Lohud blog, the man who allegedly captured Gaddafi did so while rocking the interlocking N and Y. When the Yankees were instituted back in the beginning of the 20th century, their mission statement read "To win championships, and depose dictators." The Yankees continue this proud tradition by providing hats for revolutionaries in Libya.

Christmas Wish-List

Since our October is over, we might as well turn our thoughts to what we want this coming Christmas. I realize not all of us may celebrate Christmas, but we can all agree that receiving free stuff for no reason other than happening to be around on a particular day is a pretty good deal. Just ask any major investment firm still in business. So here's what I want this Christmas:

1. For CC Sabathia to not exercise his opt-out clause.

Hopefully Sabathia remembers all the good times we had. All the times we cheered for him when he was on the mound. The 2009 World Series. All the times the NYPD thoughtfully stopped and frisked his relatives on their way to the Stadium. You know, all the good stuff. Then, hopefully, Sabathia chooses not to opt-out, staying with the Yankees and not costing them anymore money (since clearly they don't have it).

2. For Rafael Soriano to exercise his opt-out clause.

Hopefully Soriano remembers how he used to be a closer. Successful. Now he's a seventh inning guy. Plus he keeps getting stopped and frisked on the way to the Stadium. It's not worth the hassle. Opt out.

3. Another Granderson-style trade, only this time for a pitcher.

Remember when we traded for Granderson and everyone was like, "AJax is the future of baseball," and then AJax just went on to strike out a lot while Granderson became an MVP candidate? We need another trade like that, only this time for a pitcher. A lefty pitcher, with heat, and breaking stuff, and off-speed stuff, who pitches inside against Boston, and who hits for both power and average. That's what I want.

4. For Joba Chamberlain to develop 'Rookie of the Year' super-pitching post surgery.

Remember that movie? Where the kid falls and then can throw a fastball past Major League hitters, or something like that? We need Chamberlain to come back like that. No more of this "He's ahead of schedule" stuff. Every rehabbing athlete ever has been described as ahead of schedule only to come back to the field way after the schedule said he would, if at all. I don't want "ahead of schedule". That is practically proxy for "his career is over". I want "Rookie of the Year".

5. For Girardi to lose it.

When Girardi was hired as manager we were promised a fiery guy who would constantly be thrown out of ballgames. Instead we got an ubernerd who makes decisions based on graphs he generated using logistical regression analyses and keeps in a Trapper Keeper. I want Girardi to wake up one morning only to realize his binder is gone and someone has carelessly poured coffee all over his Macbook Air. Unable to recover his graphs or his binder, Girardi loses all touch with reality. He starts arguing balls and strikes. He starts arguing whether balls hit straight at middle-infielders were foul. He files an official challenge to every game, win or lose. That's the manager I was promised, that is the manager I expect.

That's my list. What's yours?

Its Rangers and Cardinals

It was a litte strange following the Rangers/Tigers ALCS especially the Rangers victory in game 6. I couldn't help but think that that should have been the Yankees losing to the Rangers in game 6. But alas, we'll have to let that go. I still hold that we had an ALDS champion caliber team, but with cold bats, and an untimely performance digression by Sabathia here we are watching the Tigers, and not the Yankees, lose to the Rangers. But now as the Rangers and Cardinals get ready to face off in the world series we'll just have to immerse ourselves into football until the hot stove season begins.

Phil Hughes

We've been asked where we see Phil Hughes in the Yankees future rotation plans. Hughes has had an interesting career so far with the Yankees. Touted as the next Cy Young, he turned out to be mostly young, inexperienced, and injured. He's lost significant velocity on his fastball and has only really had one successful half-season (last year). Hughes has seemingly regressed, but it may be too early to count him out. He had a large increase in workload in 2010 and that may have contributed to his performance this past season. If he can get his arm strength back, he should be a legitimate rotation presence. If not, he should still be a strong bullpen candidate as his performance in the ALDS showed. Perhaps the biggest thing for Hughes is developing more of his secondary pitches, assuming he can redevelop his primary pitches. He should probably start there first as we do not need another Edwar Ramirez. Also, he should fire his personal pitching coach, Edwar Ramirez.

Free Agent Starters

It is no secret that the Yankees need to address their rotation problems this off season. Though many of us fans would like to see our prospects get a chance to win a spot, the fact of the matter is, this is New York, and the big name always wins out. Although, this years free agent market is light in the pitching department there have been some names that keep coming up: C.J. Wilson, Hiroki Kuroda, Mark Buehrle, Edwin Jackson and Yu Darvish. The only one I would really consider out of this group is C.J. Wilson. Wilson's a left hander with post season experience, and has had quite a bit of success since they turned him into a starter 2 seasons ago. At 31, we may end up overpaying for his declining years, but we should get a few productive years and hopefully the Killer B's will be locking down the front end of our rotation in his twilight. The question will be how much would we want to commit to someone like Wilson. Considering the contract we gave to Soriano, I can see us easily overpaying. Kuroda, Buerhle, and Jackson are interesting options, but none of them really stand out. Yu Darvish is another highly touted Japanese player who probably won't live up to the hype, and I blame Ichiro. Ichiro gave us the expectation that every Japanese player had superhero powers. Matsui furthered this notion. Since then all the big names coming from Japan have been decent at best. Mostly they've not been good at all. Igawa, Matsuzaka, Fukudome, Iwamura, Tazawa haven't really been the game changers they were hoped to be.

At Least We're Not Boston

Remember when there were all these questions about whether there was tension between Theo Epstein and Terry Francona and Epstein always denied it? Turns out he was telling the truth. They were both looking to jump off this particular sinking ship as soon as possible. It's not just that the ship was sinking, it was kind of also on fire. Nuclear fire. They didn't even know that was possible. Epstein is now on his way to Chicago while Boston clubbies are telling Globe reporters that Francona was addicted to pain killers. He was, after all, taking pain killers, so he must have been addicted to them. The theory goes like this: Terry Francona's nickname was Tito. Tito is the name of Michael Jackson's brother. Michael Jackson was addicted to pain killers. Terry Francona is addicted to pain killers. It's only logic.

The Yankees now look to a postseason of throwing more money at CC Sabathia and addressing further rotation personnel issues. The Sox now look for a new GM, a new manager, and a way to get players to sit in the dugout during games. It's not like they're paid millions of dollars to sit and watch a game that we pay hundreds of dollars we don't have, but Visa and MasterCard do, to watch. Damn.

The Off Season is Upon Us

Yes, I'm well aware that the playoffs are still in process, but for all effective purposes the off season has arrived. How Yankee fans deal with an off season after the Yankees have failed to win a championship goes a little something like this:

1. Start finger pointing and yelling. Find one scapegoat to amass all your hatred against (A-Rod was a past favorite, AJ is a new favorite).

2. Begin making wild trade proposals (IE. AJ Burnett and Pedro Feliciano for Cliff Lee, cash considerations, and a player to be named later).

3. Demand in some sort of online forum that Cashman sign (insert name of biggest free agent here) and that he should be fired if he fails to do so.

4. Repeat steps 1 - 3.

Before we at the RJG begin this process however, we want to celebrate the release of certain contractual obligations that had been a hindrance to the Yankees. First up, Kei Igawa. This years $4 million payment marked the last we would make to our favorite triple A pitcher, and marks the end of a $56 million investment that never paid out. Second, Damaso Marte. He did well for us in helping us win a world series, but his overall value has been diminished as he's seemingly taken up permanent residence on the designated list. That's another $4 million freed up from the payroll. Third, A-Rod made $32 million this season, next season that price will drop to $30 million for a saving of $2 million dollars. Now some may think that a .276 average with 16 homeruns and 62 RBI's is not worth $32 million or even $30 million, but that doesn't take into A-Rod's intangible qualities. Like who else would we hate if A-Rod wasn't on the team? Who else could we boo? $32 million assured us of at least one player we could boo and feel guiltless about. Booing the $900,000 Bartolo Colon? That's just wrong. Booing the $32 million A-Rod? Priceless. Lastly, we will be losing Posada's $13.1 million contract. That is the biggest contract coming off the books, but it comes with much sadness. Posada did not produce this year, and we were forced to come to terms with his humanity. Posada will likely not be back next year, but it doesn't diminish what he's done for this organization, and the many great memories we've had with him in the Bronx. He was a vital part of the dynasty, and helped continue the tradition of Yankee catchers who were also strong clubhouse leaders.

All in all, I am ready for the off season. The Yankees have holes throughout their rotation they need to fill, and CC's impending opt out could be an interesting story over the next couple months.

What Now?

With the Yankees season over, many are wondering what the Yankees will do now. Most of them will go to a house much much larger than yours, so stop worrying about it. Soon we'll find out whether Sabathia will opt out, or whether the Yanks will throw money around like they're making it rain. First, unfortunately, we have to wait for the remaining teams to finish their seasons. How selfish of them is that? Ever heard of a New York minute? We don't have time for this $#!% right now! What else do the Yankees need to worry about this off-season?

Update:

[The following comment, from blog regular Rich Mahogany, was too good to leave in the comments section, so I've moved it here]

A lot depends on whether Cashman comes back. If he does, I fully expect more miraculous scrap heap signings, perhaps even finding a pitcher who was previously living under a heap of scraps.

If he doesn't, his replacement will be a yes-man for Levine and the Steinbrenners. That person will re-sign CC for 10 years and $220 million, and will also give CJ Wilson $160 million and Yu Darvish $150 million. Add in the contracts to Pujols, Prince Fielder and David Ortiz (for depth) and we will see baseball's first $1 billion payroll. Yankee Stadium will change its name to Goldman Sachs & Co. and FTI Consulting Present the New York Yankees Old Fashioned Ballpark and the average seat price will be the same as Phil Hughes' salary.

So I hope he comes back.

Yankees Offense Stays Home, Now the Rest of the Team Can Join Them

The Good

Endless speculation about whether the Yanks sign either Albert Pujols or Prince Fielder to be their full-time DH can now begin.

The Bad

Ivan Nova left the game after two innings with forearm tightness. I can't confirm this, but it sort of feels like he may have given up on the team after finding himself in a really tough spot. I'm not prepared to go there entirely just yet, but it feels that way.

The Ugly

An inability to score runs with the bases loaded is pretty ugly. The Yankees had plenty of opportunities tonight but simply didn't get it done. We can only blame ourselves.

I Can't Believe We're Paying For This

Cano hit another home run. Great.

Robinson Cano 2hr = $10
Curtis Granderson 1hr = $3
Nick Swisher 1hr = $3
Total = $16

Burnett Saves Season, Granderson Reveals His Super Hero Nature

The Good

The season fell to the efforts of AJ Burnett who has been dismal this season, but who was remarkably effective last night. 5.2 innings of 1 run ball was the final line, and despite some scary moments, the Tigers were not able to capitalize on their base runners. Then there was Granderson, who may have revealed that he is the mysterious New York crime fighting vigilante known as Gurtis Cranderson. Apparently, like most super hero crime fighters, Granderson can fly, which came in handy with a late game grab of a quickly sinking would-be double. Oh, and the Yankees scored 10 runs while AJ and the bullpen, including RJG blog favorite Rafael Soriano, kept the Tigers to 1 run.

The Bad

Montero finally came in to play and he had a couple hits. This immediately made me think, what would have came of the much needed game 3 if Montero was allowed to play? No matter, we're on to game 5.

The Ugly

The Yankees are now set to face off in an epic game 5. Burnett's outing was a huge boost, and having homefield advantage is a plus, but it still comes down to this final game. On thursday, we may really be watching Nova transform into the Super Nova we've always dreamed of.

10 Runs and No Homers!?

Another benefit of a game 5 is that maybe the Yankees will make up for their lack of homeruns in a power boosted display of rage! 10 runs, and not a single jack. The babies need you.

Robinson Cano 1hr = $5
Curtis Granderson 1hr = $3
Nick Swisher 1hr = $3
Total = $11

Oh No

The Good

The Yankees scored 4 runs including 2 off a Brett Gardner double that almost, sort of, kind of gave us some momentum. Unfortunately, the momentum was stopped short.

The Bad

The momentum was stopped short by Soriano, who follows the same script every time he gives up a run. It goes something to the effect of "It was a good pitch. I got beat on a good pitch." And the thing is, I think he's telling the truth. It turns out, Soriano can't pitch like Mariano. Its a simple mistake to make though seeing as the names kind of rhyme, and the Yankee front office likes to have fun with words.

The Ugly

We lost the game. We're now facing elimination as we turn our hopes over to AJ Burnett. Burnett may surprise us. He surprised us last year when he seemingly forgot how to pitch, so surprising people is in his blood.

Homeruns Would Have Been Nice

No homeruns yesterday, which certainly didn't help our efforts and definitely didn't help the children.

Robinson Cano 1hr = $5

Curtis Granderson 1hr = $3
Nick Swisher 1hr = $3
Total = $11

Yankees Drop Game 2

The Good

Mere mortals faced off in a game of giants! There were homeruns by Swisher and Granderson, effective relief pitching by Cory Wade and Boone Logan, and when all was said and done, the rain did not bring the game to an early conclusion.

The Bad

Freddy Garcia gave what we could have hoped to get. 5.1 innings 4 runs, 3 earned. The question is, will this cut it in the ALCS or World Series? I can't imagine it will.

The Ugly

Boone Logan balked! We asked him what happened and this is what he said: "In the middle of my delivery I heard someone behind me yell 'The LORD has returned!' and I was like 'Oh no, the apocaypse!? Here now!? In the middle of my delivery!?!? I must stop and investigate this matter further. Turns out, the LORD didn't come back, it was just Miguel Cabrera messing with me. But its a good thing. I would have been screwed."

The Money and the Babies

When the Yankees turn in a good season and make it to the post season, charity should not cease to be benefited. To this end, the Respect Jeters Gangster blog has decided to continue its charitable donations to the Children's Health Fund homerun club throughout the postseason. Now during the regular season, we gave $2 for every homerun hit. But since everyone knows homeruns in the postseason are more valuable the only right thing to do is to up our amount to $3 for every postseason homerun. Further more, to honor the newly anointed homerun club captain, Robinson Cano, the RJG will be giving $5 for every homerun Cano hits in the postseason. So that looks a little something like this:

Robinson Cano 1hr = $5
Curtis Granderson 1hr = $3
Nick Swisher 1hr = $3
Total = $11

Yankees Take ALDS Opener After 24 Hour Rain Delay

The Good

Ivan Nova pitched incredibly in relief of CC Sabathia, giving the Yankees 6.1 innings and allowing only two runs (granted, he didn't really allow them, Ayala did). Cano had 6 RBI, tying a franchise record for RBIs in a single postseason game. Four of those RBI came on a grand slam in the sixth.

The Bad

Nova came apart in the ninth after being hit in the @$$ with what would've otherwise been a ground ball for the second out of the inning. We asked Nova whether the ball that hit him played a role in his struggles during the ninth. "No," Nova responded. "But when Girardi came out, it was weird. He didn't ask me whether I was hurt. He asked me if I knew Kung Fu. I told him 'no' and he went back to the dugout. But then Geno was like, "What if you know Kung Fu and you don't even know it? I mean, what if you're a secret agent and, like, your memory got erased but you really know Kung Fu and one day you'll be attacked and it'll all come out from instinct and muscle memory? What about that? Did I just blow your mind?" And you know what? He did blow my mind. After that I couldn't pitch.

The Ugly

Luis Ayala. Why? Because Rob B said so. Also because he came in and couldn't lock down two outs, forcing Girardi to use Mo, who needed all of three pitches to close out the game. In fact, I'm not even sure Mo's eyes were open while he pitched. Neither were Ayala's, but Mo can do that, Ayala can't.

B-52s

Cano hit a monster shot into space. Not outer space, but third dimensionality, where the game took place.

Robinson Cano 1 hr

The Rain Screwed Us. Or Did It?

The rain washed out Sabathia's first playoff appearance, already off to a promising start (#sarcasm). It also washed out any chance that we'll see Verlander more than once this series, which is good. That's all I have to say about that.

And it Begins...

Tonight will be the first game of the American League Division Series where one Constantino Chamberlain Sabathia will take on Justin Verlander. The major league season ended yesterday, but the Yankees season ended a week ago when they clinched the division. After this, Yankees fans had to witness something they were largely unfamiliar with: meaningless September baseball. The Yankees fielded more minor leaguers in the last week than the Pirates did all year. But now, the Yankees have to turn everything up a notch and come prepared to face the Tigers. Ladies and Gentlemen, the quest for number 28 is afoot.

Well That Escalated Quickly

The Good

Mark Teixeira's bat got hot right in time for the post season. He hit 2 homeruns, including a grandslam. Jones also hit a homerun, while Betances made his first major league start, going 2 innings and not allowing a run. In the meanwhile, over in Baltimore, the Orioles were playing what must have seemed like the world series to them. When all was said and done, the Red Sox couldn't stave off the Orioles in the 9th, and Papelbon took the loss on a walk-off single by Robert Andino. This now proves that Andino is actually a prophet, having foreseen his future success when he took his profile picture at the beginning of the season:

Picture Source

The Bad

We lost. Not in any real sense, but still.

The Ugly

Dropping a 7 run lead has to go here, but at the point the Rays were rallying, our regulars were on the bench, our bench players were on the field, and our best releivers were at their respective homes, or at least should have been considering that none of them were going to pitch today. You have to tip your hat to the Rays. They came back from a 7 run deficit to win the game in extra innings. It was kind of epic the way the Rays were playing into extra innings while the Red Sox had a rain delay also extending the outcome of the game later into the evening. When all is said and done, the Rays completed their epic surge while the Red Sox completed their epic collapse. I'm sure the Mets could offer some words of consolation in this time.

What a Great Way to End the Season for the Babies

Three homeruns between Teixeira and Andruw Jones. What a great way to end the season for the Children's Health Fund. That's $6 for the babies.

Mark Teixeira 39hr = $78
Curtis Granderson 41hr = $82
Russell Martin 18hr = $36
Alex Rodriguez 16hr = $32
Jorge Posada 14hr = $28
Robinson Cano 28hr = $56
Andruw Jones 13hr = $26
Brett Gardner 7hr = $14
Nick Swisher 23hr = $46
Derek Jeter 6hr = $12
Francisco Cervelli 4hr = $8
Eduardo Nunez 5hr = $10
Ramiro Pena 1hr = $2
Eric Chavez 2hr = $4
Jesus Montero 4hr = $8
Chris Dickerson 1hr = $2
Total = $444

Further Praise of David Robertson

I mentioned earlier that his ERA is at 1.08, but I just noticed that he has exactly 100 strikeouts on the season in 66.2 innings pitched. What a contributor he's turned out to be.

Reeling Yanks Can't Stop Surging Rays (Wink Wink)

The Good

Russel Martin hit a homerun a day after getting thrown out of the game for arguing balls and strikes. It was a solo shot, but in a game where the Yankees didn't do much else it really stands out. Did anyone notice that Dave Robertson's ERA is at 1.08?

The Bad

Rafael Soriano giving up 3 a run homerun comes to mind. After the game, Girardi defended Soriano saying that he's played well for us, and wrote this off as a fluke. What Soriano has he been watching this season?

The Ugly

Russel Martin hit into a triple play, which takes a lot of skill when you really think about it.

Cano and Granderson, where are you at?

Russel Martin hit a homerun to make sure the kids wouldn't leave empty handed, but Cano, who's charity the homerun money goes to, and Granderson, who's our only 40 homerun hitter, have been real quiet of late. There is one more game left, and I demand homeruns!

Mark Teixeira 37hr = $74
Curtis Granderson 41hr = $82
Russell Martin 18hr = $36
Alex Rodriguez 16hr = $32
Jorge Posada 14hr = $28
Robinson Cano 28hr = $56
Andruw Jones 12hr = $24
Brett Gardner 7hr = $14
Nick Swisher 23hr = $46
Derek Jeter 6hr = $12
Francisco Cervelli 4hr = $8
Eduardo Nunez 5hr = $10
Ramiro Pena 1hr = $2
Eric Chavez 2hr = $4
Jesus Montero 4hr = $8
Chris Dickerson 1hr = $2
Total = $438

Yanks Fail to Defeat Rival Rays (Wink Wink)

The Good

Cano continues to hit better than most mere mortals. Did you ever notice that Robinson Cano is an anagram for Superman? No? Well, that's because it's not. But he still has more power than you!

The Bad

Russell Martin got thrown out of the game in the fifth for arguing balls and strikes. He wasn't questioning the strike zone, as much as talking to every pitch, debating the balls on matters of political concern. The Ump couldn't take the inane points Martin kept raising and finally threw him out in the fifth inning. Girardi tried to argue, but once he realized Martin had spent the better part of the game trying to convince various baseballs that the key to creating jobs is eating a low carb diet, he gave up.

The Ugly

The Yankees lost a game in which Farnsworth pitched for the other side. WTF?

Cash Money All-Stars

Remember them? Well, you shouldn't. $2 more for the kids courtesy of Robinson Cano. Will he reach 30 again this season? He better if he cares about his own charity!

Mark Teixeira 37hr = $74
Curtis Granderson 41hr = $82
Russell Martin 17hr = $34
Alex Rodriguez 16hr = $32
Jorge Posada 14hr = $28
Robinson Cano 28hr = $56
Andruw Jones 12hr = $24
Brett Gardner 7hr = $14
Nick Swisher 23hr = $46
Derek Jeter 6hr = $12
Francisco Cervelli 4hr = $8
Eduardo Nunez 5hr = $10
Ramiro Pena 1hr = $2
Eric Chavez 2hr = $4
Jesus Montero 4hr = $8
Chris Dickerson 1hr = $2
Total = $436

Sorry For the Delay: Red Sox Series Update

The Good

A lot can be said about the Yankees in this space, but I think the best thing that happened this weekend was that, while we took the series and played well, we didn't dash the Red Sox's playoff chances. I know we would all love to see a monumental collapse, but that's petty small picture stuff. I'd rather have a team like the Red Sox in the playoffs who are limping in than a team like the Rays in the Playoffs who are charging in. Playoff baseball is about who's hot and right now the Red Sox are not. Rather them as potential October competition than a young team that is hungry and playing with fire in their bellies.

The Bad

Losing that game in extras wasn't good, but I can't complain too much. I wish Cano hadn't booted that ball and I wish Nova had pitched ever so slightly better. But truth be told, if Cano cleanly fields that double-play ball the Yankees probably win that game.

The Ugly

After Sunday's nightcap, Scott Proctor was asked how he felt about giving up the winning runs. This was his response:

"Sometimes I cry myself to sleep. Not because I'm sad, but because I have nothing better to do. So I cry myself to sleep. That's what I do."

Needless to say the interview was over.

Show Me the Money

Sorry for the Jerry Maguire reference but I couldn't think of anything else. Jeter, Montero, and Posada each had a single home run in the weekend series. $6 more dollars for the kiddos.

Mark Teixeira 37hr = $74
Curtis Granderson 41hr = $82
Russell Martin 17hr = $34
Alex Rodriguez 16hr = $32
Jorge Posada 13hr = $25
Robinson Cano 27hr = $54
Andruw Jones 12hr = $24
Brett Gardner 6hr = $12
Nick Swisher 23hr = $46
Derek Jeter 6hr = $12
Francisco Cervelli 3hr = $6
Eduardo Nunez 5hr = $10
Ramiro Pena 1hr = $2
Eric Chavez 2hr = $4
Jesus Montero 4hr = $8
Chris Dickerson 1hr = $2
Total = $430

Colon Explains His Performance

Colon has not been good of late, and he hasn't won a game since August. After the game, RJG caught up with Colon for an explanation:

RJG: Hey Bartolo! You sure suck lately. What gives?

Colon: Pitching isn't something easy to do. You have to block out the distractions when you're on the mound, but sometimes it's just too hard. Like today, before I leave for the park, my wife brushed an eyelash off my face and then blew it away. I was all 'what was that about?' And she's like, 'I made a wish'. So I'm like, 'that's so f#$&@!*g stupid! You think an eyelash is going to grant your wish?! You didn't even say your wish out loud! Is the eyelash a mind reading eye lash? Can it read your thoughts? Is it a magic eyelash, because I'm pretty sure it's just dead hair?! How does it go about granting your wish? Does it have like a Costco card or something? Does it go to Costco to grant the wish from when it read your mind?' I was thinking of that all day and I just couldn't focus on the mound.

RJG: Wow. How'd that go over with your wife?

Colon: Not well. Can I stay with you guys tonight?

RJG: No.

The Oddest Year

The Yankees locked down the division a couple games ago, and now have a week of what amounts to imaginary baseball. Though it will appear they are playing baseball, we'll be seeing a lot of names on the roster that we've never heard of, and numbers on jerseys that are closer to a hundred. But thinking back to the beginning of the seasons, the Red Sox were a lock for the division, the Yankees were the underdogs, the Rays were looking at what to do with their 50 first round draft picks, and the Blue Jays were just happy to be rid of Vernon Wells. The Yankees missed out on Cliff Lee so they turned to the next best thing: signing every veteran who ever threw a ball in the major leagues. This approach landed us Bartolo Colon, and Freddy Garcia who haven't been great of late but essentially are why we've won the division. It also got us Andruw Jones, Eric Chavez, and Russell Martin who have been contributors, and have really helped stabalize this team. The Red Sox if you remember had just traded for Adrian Gonzalez and signed Carl Crawford. If any team was poised to take the division it was them. But baseball is funny that way, and the Yankees really caught lightning in a bottle this year. They essentially took the money ball approach and signed low cost, high-ceiling players and let it play out. I for one did not think Freddy and Bartolo would both make it this far, but here we are in September, and neither are on the DL. Another great development has been Ivan Nova who was sent down mid-season to make room for Hughes, but is back, and has made a strong case to pitch behind Sabathia in the post season. When all is said and done, this has been a remarkable year. I don't know how we'll fare in the post season as our rotation seems in tathers, but with how odd this year has been I wouldn't be surprised if Colon found his 104 mph heat from his Cleveland days, and Freddy Garcia's splitter lands him 9 strikeouts a game here on out. For now, I'm just happy to have the division locked, and we'll see how the rest of the season goes.

So This is What Hung Over Baseball Looks Like

The Good

It was kind of cool seeing the future of the Yankees yesterday. Well, more likely the future of the Pittsburgh Pirates where half of those guys will likely end up, but still, we're seeing the future of some franchise on the field today. One cool thing was seeing Andrew Brackman pitch. He survived 1.1 innings in releif, which is good I suppose. Jesus Montero went 3-3 with a double and Andrew Jones hit a homerun. What fun!

The Bad

The Yankees were clearly disinterested in playing baseball. Girardi didn't even try. The starting lineup had Nunez, Laird and Golson, with Jones covering in the outfield and Posada playing first base. Then after the game got out of hand, Jeter, Teixeira, and Swisher, the only regulars, got pulled for Dickerson, Pena and Romine. Its smart to rest the regulars once the division is a lock, but it must have been a real challenge for Girardi to find the most sober regulars to plug into his lineup. I'm surprised Swisher made it in.

The Ugly

Bartolo Colon was awful. 7 runs in 3 innings just isn't post season material. I know he wants to figure it out, but the season is over next week. We can't hope that some mechanical adjustments will fix him for the ALDS. BTW, that Moore kid is magical.

A Little Something

Andruw Jones made sure the kids at the Children's Health Fund would be supported despite the blowout loss. His homerun adds two more dollars to the CHF.

Mark Teixeira 37hr = $74
Curtis Granderson 41hr = $82
Russell Martin 17hr = $34
Alex Rodriguez 16hr = $32
Jorge Posada 12hr = $24
Robinson Cano 27hr = $54
Andruw Jones 12hr = $24
Brett Gardner 6hr = $12
Nick Swisher 23hr = $46
Derek Jeter 5hr = $10
Francisco Cervelli 3hr = $6
Eduardo Nunez 5hr = $10
Ramiro Pena 1hr = $2
Eric Chavez 2hr = $4
Jesus Montero 3hr = $6
Chris Dickerson 1hr = $2
Total = $424

Yanks Do A Lot of Clinching, But Not Lame Clinching Like in Boxing

The Good

The Yankees swept the double-header, winning both games by a score of 2-4. The first game guaranteed the Yankees a playoff spot, the second guaranteed them the division. Sabathia spared the bullpen in the second game, going 7.1 innings and allowing only two runs. Good thing, because at that point Girardi had Posada warming up to pitch. Feeling bad that he had to sit Posada back down, Girardi let him pinch hit in the eighth and Posada delivered the division winning single.

The Bad

Hughes missed another start due to back pain and was administered an epidural. Apparently the back pain began shortly after Hughes's water broke.

The Ugly

Joe Maddon used four relief pitchers in the eighth inning in order to give up two runs. That's not very efficient. He didn't really do it to give up the two runs however, he did it to test whether his pitching coach knew all the names of the relievers in the bullpen, which he did by monitoring the bullpen phone. Some might question whether such a test was appropriate when his team is vying for the Wild Card, but Maddon's genius is not to be questioned, like Theo's.

The Middle Infielders

Nunez had a solo shot in the first game and Cano had a solo shot in the second. $4 more for the kids.

Mark Teixeira 37hr = $74
Curtis Granderson 41hr = $82
Russell Martin 17hr = $34
Alex Rodriguez 16hr = $32
Jorge Posada 12hr = $24
Robinson Cano 27hr = $54
Andruw Jones 11hr = $22
Brett Gardner 6hr = $12
Nick Swisher 23hr = $46
Derek Jeter 5hr = $10
Francisco Cervelli 3hr = $6
Eduardo Nunez 5hr = $10
Ramiro Pena 1hr = $2
Eric Chavez 2hr = $4
Jesus Montero 3hr = $6
Chris Dickerson 1hr = $2
Total = $422

My Guess for Tomorrow:

Cue the "Posada A Great Yankee" stories.

Yanks Beat Rays

The Good

Ivan Nova gave us 7.2 scoreless innings pitching in relief of the rest of the starting rotation. The Yankees scored 5 runs off of Wade Davis.

The Bad

The Yankees scored those 5 runs the old fashioned way, like timely hitting and bunts and $#!%. Nobody wants to see that. Nobody pays $250 per ticket to sit next to a wall that obscures your view to watch small ball. Next time hit some home runs!

The Ugly

After the game, Joe Maddon berated his team for not playing with any heart. One of his players pointed out that this didn't make any sense, as baseball is mainly played with the arms and legs and that, if anything, he should be berating them for not playing with any arms and legs. Hands also play a role. Joe Maddon had no response.

The Rip-off

Not only did the Yankees deprive the overpaying public of any home runs, they deprived the children of any further donations. Why don't they just make that switch to the National League already?!

Mark Teixeira 37hr = $74
Curtis Granderson 41hr = $82
Russell Martin 17hr = $34
Alex Rodriguez 16hr = $32
Jorge Posada 12hr = $24
Robinson Cano 26hr = $52
Andruw Jones 11hr = $22
Brett Gardner 6hr = $12
Nick Swisher 23hr = $46
Derek Jeter 5hr = $10
Francisco Cervelli 3hr = $6
Eduardo Nunez 4hr = $8
Ramiro Pena 1hr = $2
Eric Chavez 2hr = $4
Jesus Montero 3hr = $6
Chris Dickerson 1hr = $2
Total = $422

Mo Breaks Record, Yanks Break Twins, Twins Break Burnett

The Good

I think the best part of this game was when the Yankee players sent Rivera back to the mound to receive his ovation. Rivera didn't really seem to know what to do, and it's refreshing to see that sort of discomfort with the spotlight from so dominant a professional athlete. Rivera is like the anti-Floyd Mayweather in that his least favorite topic of conversation seems to be himself.

The Bad

I realize it's a day game, but that park should've been fuller when Mo closed it out.

The Ugly

Let's give this one to Burnett, shall we? Though, perhaps Girardi still letting this guy pitch in the rotation is equally ugly. I realize Girardi may want to keep his starters fresh as we approach October, especially the AARP members, but still. Burnett is practically begging to be placed on the bench and he can't possibly be in contention for a postseason roster spot. At least we know Hughes can pitch out of the bullpen, Burnett gives us no such hope. Remember that train wreck I was telling you all about? Girardi seems to be the only one who doesn't see it.

We Should Just Call This 'The Granderson'

Curtis Granderson hit his 41st homer of the year, and is one shy of the Major League leader Jose Bautista. $2 more for the kids.

Mark Teixeira 37hr = $74
Curtis Granderson 41hr = $82
Russell Martin 17hr = $34
Alex Rodriguez 16hr = $32
Jorge Posada 12hr = $24
Robinson Cano 26hr = $52
Andruw Jones 11hr = $22
Brett Gardner 6hr = $12
Nick Swisher 23hr = $46
Derek Jeter 5hr = $10
Francisco Cervelli 3hr = $6
Eduardo Nunez 4hr = $8
Ramiro Pena 1hr = $2
Eric Chavez 2hr = $4
Jesus Montero 3hr = $6
Chris Dickerson 1hr = $2
Total = $422

Toronto, eh?

The Good

We took the second game with some good hitting from Granderson and A-Rod who each hit a homerun and drove in 5 of the Yankees 7 runs. Proctor finally pitched a scoreless inning, and of course Mariano Rivera tied Trevor Hoffman's 601 saves.

The Bad

We lost two games, the second with our Triple A lineup playing. Not for nothing, but you can't take Granderson and Teixeira out of the same game you play Pena and Dickerson.

The Ugly

We had Sabathia, Colon and Garcia pitching in this series and not a single one pitched a complete 6 innings. Two of them couldn't even qualify for a start because they couldn't lock down the 5th. In total, these three starters gave up 13 runs off 22 hits. I'll accept a down game, but we need these guys sharp for the post season.

A Weekend of Losses Still Benefits the Children

Granderson hit his 40th homerun of the season, while A-Rod showed why he's still a threat even with a messed up thumb with a homerun of his own. Eric Chavez also hit a homerun off of Blue Jays pitcher Ewan McGregor making 3 homeruns for the babies at the Children's Health Fund.

Mark Teixeira 37hr = $74
Curtis Granderson 40hr = $80
Russell Martin 17hr = $34
Alex Rodriguez 16hr = $32
Jorge Posada 12hr = $24
Robinson Cano 26hr = $52
Andruw Jones 11hr = $22
Brett Gardner 6hr = $12
Nick Swisher 23hr = $46
Derek Jeter 5hr = $10
Francisco Cervelli 3hr = $6
Eduardo Nunez 4hr = $8
Ramiro Pena 1hr = $2
Eric Chavez 2hr = $4
Jesus Montero 3hr = $6
Chris Dickerson 1hr = $2
Total = $420

Stupid Off-Day Post

Not much has happened in the world of all things Yankees since they lost to Seattle. At least I assume not much has happened, I haven't really bothered to check. Mo is still stuck at a pedestrian 600 saves. Any Trevor Hoffman off the street can get 600 saves. Today Mo will begin anew his quest to be something more than average. CC is looking for his 20th win, which will mark just the 20th time CC has won a game in 2011. Not exactly anything to write home about. Or on this blog for that matter. Off day posts are the worst.

Yanks Refuse to Give Rivera Shot at 601

The Good

Nova pitched well enough to win, giving us 7.1 innings of one run ball.

The Bad

The Yankees only hit well enough to lose. Swish had a solo homer in the 7th to tie the game at one apiece, but that was all the Yankees offense could muster against the vaunted Mariner's pitching staff.

The Ugly

Save the starting pitching performances, not much happened in this game. You know what would have made this game way better? Steroids. If everyone was on steroids, this game would've been awesome! Pitchers throwing 200mph. Hitters hitting ground balls out of the park (I know). Final scores nearing the triple digits. Formerly skinny weaklings lumbering around the diamond, now hulking men. It would be a whole team of Captain Americas. The New York Captain Americas. Instead we mustered a single run against one of the worst teams in all of sports, even pseudo-sports like Golf. Thanks a lot, Bud Selig!

The Donations

Swisher's home run was not only the lone contribution to our offense, but to the children as well. For shame!

Mark Teixeira 37hr = $74
Curtis Granderson 39hr = $78
Russell Martin 17hr = $34
Alex Rodriguez 15hr = $30
Jorge Posada 12hr = $24
Robinson Cano 26hr = $52
Andruw Jones 11hr = $22
Brett Gardner 6hr = $12
Nick Swisher 23hr = $46
Derek Jeter 5hr = $10
Francisco Cervelli 3hr = $6
Eduardo Nunez 4hr = $8
Ramiro Pena 1hr = $2
Eric Chavez 1hr = $2
Jesus Montero 3hr = $6
Chris Dickerson 1hr = $2
Total = $414

Mariano Saves 600

The Good

For starters, all the credit in the world to AJ Burnett who pitched 6 innings with 2 runs with 11 strikeouts. That was more the AJ Burnett we hoped to have all season, but even against this weak Mariners team it was a welcome sight. Montero went 2-4 and continues to show that he can hit at this level. Soriano-Robertson-Rivera locked down the last three innings including a perfect inning out of Soriano and 5 strikeouts between Robertson and Rivera. Rivera locked his 600th save of his career.

The Bad

The coaching staff came to visit AJ in the 3rd thinking that he was injured, but in reality he was just uncomfortable. "My shirt was tucked in a wierd way. It just didn't feel right. When I conferred with Rothschild and Girardi, they were like 'Why don't you untuck it and then retuck it?' So I did, and when I untucked I realized that my shirt had folded over when I tucked it causing the discomfort. Once it was tucked correctly I could throw strikes, and strikes win ballgames, unless they're players strikes in which case there are no ballgames."

Truly words to live by.

The Ugly

While Mariano was locking his 600th save, the Red Sox were trying to upstage him with Wakefields 200th win. The attempt fell short however because 200 wins is like graduating from college. Everyone in your home will congratulate you, but no one else will care.

But in all seriousness, 200 wins with a knuckleball is an impressive feat. Not 600 saves impressive, but impressive in the way fireflies on a summer's night are impressive.

He Can Hit

I'm talking about Cano, who hit a homerun last night and made sure the kids would not go home empty handed. That's 2 more dollars for the Children's Health Fund.

Mark Teixeira 37hr = $74
Curtis Granderson 39hr = $78
Russell Martin 17hr = $34
Alex Rodriguez 15hr = $30
Jorge Posada 12hr = $24
Robinson Cano 26hr = $52
Andruw Jones 11hr = $22
Brett Gardner 6hr = $12
Nick Swisher 22hr = $44
Derek Jeter 5hr = $10
Francisco Cervelli 3hr = $6
Eduardo Nunez 4hr = $8
Ramiro Pena 1hr = $2
Eric Chavez 1hr = $2
Jesus Montero 3hr = $6
Chris Dickerson 1hr = $2
Total = $412

The King Dethroned

The Good

Phil Hughes pitched 6 innings allowing just 1 run. If he can maintain his consistancy he could very well usurp Burnett for a spot on the post season roster. And speaking of usurping, King Felix got rocked to the tune of 6 runs in 6 innings. Teixeira and Dickerson homered, as Dickerson had one of his best games of the season going 2-4 with 2 RBI's and a stolen base. Also good, Austin Romine got his first big league hit.

The Bad

Though Austin Romine got his first big league hit, he has yet to get into his first big league fight. "I don't know when it will come." Explained Romine. "Will I charge the mound? Run in from the dugout? Will I have to throw a punch, or just shove people? I just don't know what my first big league fight will look like."

The Ugly

Scott Proctor pitched in relief of Hughes and gave up 2 runs. Proctor has made 3 appearances with the Yankees and has given up at least a run in each of them. However, since Proctor threw 102.1 innings in releif for us back in '06 he gets a free pass with me.

Would Someone Please Think of the Children?

Dickerson did. As did Teixeira. $4 more for the babies at the Children's Health Fund.

Mark Teixeira 37hr = $74
Curtis Granderson 39hr = $78
Russell Martin 17hr = $34
Alex Rodriguez 15hr = $30
Jorge Posada 12hr = $24
Robinson Cano 24hr = $48
Andruw Jones 11hr = $22
Brett Gardner 6hr = $12
Nick Swisher 22hr = $44
Derek Jeter 5hr = $10
Francisco Cervelli 3hr = $6
Eduardo Nunez 4hr = $8
Ramiro Pena 1hr = $2
Eric Chavez 1hr = $2
Jesus Montero 3hr = $6
Chris Dickerson 1hr = $2
Total = $408

Weekend in Anaheim

The Good

We ended with a win, barely, but a win nonetheless. Granderson hit his 39th homerun, and Montero also added a jack over the weekend. Sabathia had a rough time, but ended with 6 innings and 1 run. Colon pitched one of his best games of the season with 7 innings of 1 run ball, and that one run was unearned.

The Bad

Despite the pitching performances of Sabathia and Colon, the Yankee offense could not remember how a bat worked. They pulled out the instructions that came in the bat box, but they were written in Chinese. After trying to decipher the text for the first couple days, they realized that the instructions were not written in Chinese, but were simply upside down. The instructions were simple: "Swing bat and connect with ball". The Yankees tried this approach last night and came out with a win.

The Ugly

It seemed like in a manner of moments, we saw every catcher in the Yankees organization. Cervelli had concussion like symptoms, and took to the DL, then Martin hurt his thumb, and was day-to-day, leaving Posada to catch on Saturday. Sunday it was Montero, followed by Romine, who had just taken a taxi from Scranton to Anaheim, stopping only to help damsel's in distress as is his character.

Yankee Bats Go Quiet, but the Children Still Are Provided For

Despite the generally lackluster hitting over the weekend, Montero and Granderson made sure the children would not suffer with solo homeruns. That's $4 for the Children's Health Fund.

Mark Teixeira 36hr = $72
Curtis Granderson 39hr = $78
Russell Martin 17hr = $34
Alex Rodriguez 15hr = $30
Jorge Posada 12hr = $24
Robinson Cano 24hr = $48
Andruw Jones 11hr = $22
Brett Gardner 6hr = $12
Nick Swisher 22hr = $44
Derek Jeter 5hr = $10
Francisco Cervelli 3hr = $6
Eduardo Nunez 4hr = $8
Ramiro Pena 1hr = $2
Eric Chavez 1hr = $2
Jesus Montero 3hr = $6
Total = $404

What's With the Back to Back Extra Innings Losses?

The Good

The Yankees scored 4 runs in the first three innings. They then went on cruise control and fell asleep at the wheel. What they didn't realize is that cruise control doesn't actually drive your car. So the Yankees crashed in the 10th.

The Bad

I guess the bad was partially mixed in with the good, but I will add to that 5.1 innings of 3 run ball from Nova. I don't know whey we're having such a hard time with the Orioles but we are.

The Ugly

The bullpen turning this one over. Logan gave up an RBI double, Laffey walked the only guy he faced, and both Soriano and Proctor gave up a run, Proctor's being a walk off. So the bullpen wasn't great, but our offense falling silent over the last 7 innings of this game didn't help either.

Nope

No homeruns = No donations. Its that simple Yankees.

Mark Teixeira 36hr = $72
Curtis Granderson 38hr = $76
Russell Martin 17hr = $34
Alex Rodriguez 15hr = $30
Jorge Posada 12hr = $24
Robinson Cano 24hr = $48
Andruw Jones 11hr = $22
Brett Gardner 6hr = $12
Nick Swisher 22hr = $44
Derek Jeter 5hr = $10
Francisco Cervelli 3hr = $6
Eduardo Nunez 4hr = $8
Ramiro Pena 1hr = $2
Eric Chavez 1hr = $2
Jesus Montero 2hr = $4
Total = $400

Triple A Team No Match for Orioles

The Good

I'm sure there was something, but with all this rain I'm feeling like a cup is half empty kind of guy right now. But if I'm really pressed I'd have to say that Montero hit a two-run double, as he continues to show that he's a legitimate big league hitter, and both Robertson and Soriano had scoreless innings in relief where Robertson struck out all three hitters he faced.

The Bad

We lost. In the 11th. At that point we had the majority of our big league lineup in the game, and we still couldn't manage a timely hit. AJ Burnett didn't help much with his 6 innings of 4 run ball. He wasn't terrible, but this is the Orioles we're talking about. If there's any game to lock down a win, its this one.

The Ugly

The game played more like a bloopers reel rather than a baseball game. The Yankees had 4 errors charged against them, while there were several other misplays that didn't get called errors, but still looked like they were the opposing team in a Harlem Globetrotters show.

The Babies Don't Help the Babies

The lineup boasted such minor league callups as Brandon Laird, Eduardo Nunez, Greg Golson, and Jesus Montero, but despite being closer in age to the babies at the Children's Health Fund, they did little to help their cause. No homeruns means no cash for the babies.

Mark Teixeira 36hr = $72
Curtis Granderson 38hr = $76
Russell Martin 17hr = $34
Alex Rodriguez 15hr = $30
Jorge Posada 12hr = $24
Robinson Cano 24hr = $48
Andruw Jones 11hr = $22
Brett Gardner 6hr = $12
Nick Swisher 22hr = $44
Derek Jeter 5hr = $10
Francisco Cervelli 3hr = $6
Eduardo Nunez 4hr = $8
Ramiro Pena 1hr = $2
Eric Chavez 1hr = $2
Jesus Montero 2hr = $4
Total = $400

That Took Forever

The Good

Hughes went 6 innings allowing 2 runs giving the Yankee offense a chance to get into it, which they did with homeruns from Posada, Cervelli and Gardner. When it comes down to it, the Yankees have been swinging the bats very well of late. Mariano locked his 39th save of the season putting him within 3 saves of tieing Trevor Hoffman's career record.

The Bad

The game started at 11:00pm and ended around 2:15am. This was problematic because those are also the hours that Curtis Granderson fights crime. Distracted by all the calls for help, Granderson went 0-3 with 3 strikeouts.

The Ugly

Posada got in the game and went 1-3 with a homerun. The truth is, the Yankees have mishandled Posada all season. They dropped him to number 9 in the lineup on a nationally televised game against the Red Sox, then they removed him from the lineup altogether on another nationally televised game against the Red Sox. Then they got mad at Jeter for not jumping on Posada. Posada isn't done. And the Yankees showed a lot more patience with Jeter at the plate than they have with Posada, and that's with Jeter batting leadoff as opposed to number 6, 7, 8 or 9 like Posada has. It almost feels like there's something personal between Posada and the Yankee brass, and that right there is ugly.

Homeruns from the Peanut Gallery and their Chaperone.

Posada, Gardner and Cervelli all hit solo homeruns accounting for an additional $6 going to the Children's Health Fund. Granderson's bat has been pretty quiet, but he tends to go through streaks, and there's no better time like to present to start a streak.

Mark Teixeira 36hr = $72
Curtis Granderson 38hr = $76
Russell Martin 17hr = $34
Alex Rodriguez 15hr = $30
Jorge Posada 12hr = $24
Robinson Cano 24hr = $48
Andruw Jones 11hr = $22
Brett Gardner 6hr = $12
Nick Swisher 22hr = $44
Derek Jeter 5hr = $10
Francisco Cervelli 3hr = $6
Eduardo Nunez 4hr = $8
Ramiro Pena 1hr = $2
Eric Chavez 1hr = $2
Jesus Montero 2hr = $4
Total = $394

PS. The Yankees are at 200 homeruns on the season. Last year they him 201 all season. Let's see how close they get to the 244 they hit in 2009. Ah, what a good year for the Children's Health Fund.

Yankees Win...Barely

The Good

The Yankees scored 11 runs! Much respect to Jesus Montero, the baby-faced baby DH in the lineup who hit 2 homeruns and drew a walk, and of course Robinson Cano, who hit a grandslam. Pitching was pretty awful, but I admit it was nice seeing Scott Proctor again. I thought his cyborg arm looked decent yesterday.

The Bad

Mariano came very close to blowing the save. Close enough to make me sweat, and I don't like sweating as it makes me want to shower thus using up the planets most essential natural resource: water. So if Mariano doesn't want to be responsible for the decreasing water supply he needs to lock these saves down! On a side note, Mo is just 4 saves of tieing and 5 saves of passing Trevor Hoffman on the all-times saves list.

The Ugly

Freddy Garcia's start. The final line included 7 runs in 2.2 innings. That's the problem with pitchers who rely on deception. Sometimes, they're hung over.

Bats for Babies

The Yankees went to bat for the babies and came up with 4 homeruns, 2 from Monters, and 1 each from Cano and Teixeira. That's $8 for the babies at the Children's Health Fund.

Mark Teixeira 36hr = $72
Curtis Granderson 38hr = $76
Russell Martin 17hr = $34
Alex Rodriguez 15hr = $30
Jorge Posada 12hr = $24
Robinson Cano 24hr = $48
Andruw Jones 11hr = $22
Brett Gardner 6hr = $12
Nick Swisher 22hr = $44
Derek Jeter 5hr = $10
Francisco Cervelli 3hr = $6
Eduardo Nunez 4hr = $8
Ramiro Pena 1hr = $2
Eric Chavez 1hr = $2
Jesus Montero 2hr = $4
Total = $394

Yanks Go for Sweep, Decide to Bludgeon Opponent with Broom Handle Instead

The Good

19 wins for Sabathia. Bautista was held to only one home run while the Yankees managed three (one each for Jeter, A-Rod, and Swish). The Yankees also scored nine runs as a team. Because you win as a team.

The Bad

Somebody, somewhere in the stands went to get concessions and brought his girlfriend the wrong thing. He felt really bad about it.

The Ugly

When Bautista hit his Major League leading 40th home run, Granderson vowed revenge. Someone pointed out to him that he could just hit 2 more home runs, but he chose revenge anyway.

Hacks for Stacks (of Cash)

Three home runs today means $6 more for the kids. Yay!

Mark Teixeira 35hr = $70
Curtis Granderson 38hr = $76
Russell Martin 17hr = $34
Alex Rodriguez 15hr = $30
Jorge Posada 12hr = $24
Robinson Cano 23hr = $46
Andruw Jones 11hr = $22
Brett Gardner 6hr = $12
Nick Swisher 22hr = $44
Derek Jeter 5hr = $10
Francisco Cervelli 3hr = $6
Eduardo Nunez 4hr = $8
Ramiro Pena 1hr = $2
Eric Chavez 1hr = $2
Total = $386

P.S.

That's right, I said 'Yay'. What are you going to do about it?!

Yanks Take First Two From Jays

The Good

Nova gave us another strong outing, earning his 15th win of the season. While Colon's outing was not as strong, he kept us in the game and the Yanks offense came through. The bullpen has not allowed any runs in the last two games, a major league record.

The Bad

Falsifying statistics is bad, and I'm pretty sure I just did that. I could apologize for doing so and move on, but instead I'm going to deny it before Congress, helping them waste taxpayer dollars on pointless hearings. Then I'm going to make the federal government try me on criminal charges in federal court, thus wasting more taxpayer dollars. Then I'm going to make them house and feed me for however long my sentence is, wasting additional taxpayer dollars. That's how I roll.

The Ugly

We've won three in a row, let's try to keep things positive.

Allowance

Gardner and Cervelli each had one home run. Gardner hit his yesterday, so it doesn't matter anymore. Cervelli, on the other hand, hit his today, so he's a hero. $4 more for the kids.

Mark Teixeira 35hr = $70
Curtis Granderson 38hr = $76
Russell Martin 17hr = $34
Alex Rodriguez 14hr = $28
Jorge Posada 12hr = $24
Robinson Cano 23hr = $46
Andruw Jones 11hr = $22
Brett Gardner 6hr = $12
Nick Swisher 21hr = $42
Derek Jeter 4hr = $8
Francisco Cervelli 3hr = $6
Eduardo Nunez 4hr = $8
Ramiro Pena 1hr = $2
Eric Chavez 1hr = $2
Total = $380

Yanks Take Series

The Good

Burnett gave us 5.1 innings of two-run ball. Then every member of the bullpen came into the game to close it out. Nick Swisher continued his wacky bunting antics, which always pleases the crowd. Russell Martin's two-run double was the difference in the game.

The Bad

This game was way too close. Lester threw something like 100 pitches in the first inning, all to Nick Swisher, and the Yanks still only mustered 1 run against him. That's bad.

The Ugly

Al Leiter trying to find a silver lining in the work AJ has done with Larry Rothschild. Let's face it, AJ is a very consistent pitcher in the month of April, then he's a train wreck. But not a regular train wreck. A train wreck that happens right in front of a nuclear reactor but doesn't damage the reactor. Then, suddenly, oh no! A plane is headed right for us! The plane smashes into the train, but doesn't harm the reactor. We're all saved. Then another plane smashes into the reactor and we're all dead. The end.

Two in a Row?

Normally, the Yankees score all their runs on home runs. They've scored exactly zero runs on home runs in the last two games. I'm not sure what to make of this, so I made a paper mache hat. It's awesome!

Mark Teixeira 35hr = $70
Curtis Granderson 38hr = $76
Russell Martin 17hr = $34
Alex Rodriguez 14hr = $28
Jorge Posada 12hr = $24
Robinson Cano 23hr = $46
Andruw Jones 11hr = $22
Brett Gardner 5hr = $10
Nick Swisher 21hr = $42
Derek Jeter 4hr = $8
Francisco Cervelli 2hr = $4
Eduardo Nunez 4hr = $8
Ramiro Pena 1hr = $2
Eric Chavez 1hr = $2
Total = $376

At Least the Rotation Pictures Coming Into Focus

The Good

We scored 5 runs off Becket (4 earned). Jeter got a couple hits driving in a run in the process. No Bothan spies died during the game.

The Bad

Despite the 5 runs, the Yankee offense never really got going. We had 6 hits all game, and no homeruns. Not even one from Granderson who has lost his tie for league lead with Bautista's 2-run shot yesterday.

The Ugly

A typical big league rotation has a staff ace, a solid 2, a scrappy 3, a rebounding or declining 4, and a really old or really young 5. The Yankees rotation has a staff ace, and then a cast of number 3's and 4's. This is good for the regular season, but horrifying for our post season hopes. We currently don't have a stopper, or even a big game pitcher with big game stuff past Sabathia. Garcia is a big game pitcher, but his game has been reduced to deception, guile, malicious winks, and confusing riddles. Hughes did little to help this rotation question with his 5.2 innings of 6 run ball. If the post season started today, you'd probably be seeing Sabathia, Colon, Garcia and Nova. And that's not fair because Sabathia doesn't speak spanish, and will feel left out of the post season rotation banter. The good news is that we still have a month of baseball, and if any one of our 6 starters get hot, it can help solve our post season rotation question. The bad news is that we still have a month of baseball, and any one of our 6 starters could really pitch like crap.

Yankees Say No to Babies

No homeruns means not a single dollar is donated to help babies get better. The Yankees better make up for that today. My prediction? Homeruns from Swisher, Teixeira, Granderson, and lets say Jeter. With Burnett on the mound we'll need every single one we can get.

Mark Teixeira 35hr = $70
Curtis Granderson 38hr = $76
Russell Martin 17hr = $34
Alex Rodriguez 14hr = $28
Jorge Posada 12hr = $24
Robinson Cano 23hr = $46
Andruw Jones 11hr = $22
Brett Gardner 5hr = $10
Nick Swisher 21hr = $42
Derek Jeter 4hr = $8
Francisco Cervelli 2hr = $4
Eduardo Nunez 4hr = $8
Ramiro Pena 1hr = $2
Eric Chavez 1hr = $2
Total = $376

Sabathia Works Magic

The Good

Sabathia's final line was good, but confusing. He allowed 2 runs, over 6 innings, but he kept you on the edge of your seat all game, because he always seemed to be in trouble, a byproduct of allowing 10 hits and 2 walks in 6 innings. But along with that came 10 strikeouts, some of them coming in key situations so over all its good. Also good, our bullpen did not implode. Mariano locked down the save, and Soriano did not give up the lead. Wade got his out but put two on for Logan who got a pair of strikeouts with bases loaded to end the 7th inning.

Eric Chavez went 2-3 knocking in a couple runs, and Cervelli hit a homerun. Swisher went 3-3 with a walk continuing his surge.

The Bad

After scratching the surface of .300, Jeter is now down to a paltry .293 after an 0-5 night. Some blame the ball that went off his knee, but we know better. Jeter is feeling sad about his split from Friday Night Lights star Michael B. Jordan. "Back when I was dating Minka, I'd hang out with Michael. He played Wallace in The Wire, one of the best characters of the first season. Now that I'm not with Minka anymore, we don't hang out. Good guy. I'll have to settle with hanging out with the other Michael Jordan. I don't even like Hanes."

The Ugly

Things got heated in yesterdays game. It all started when Granderson was hit in the hand but it was ruled that it hit the bat by the homeplate umpire. Sabathia retaliated with a plunking of Jacoby Ellsbury. Then after Cervelli hit his homerun, Lackey plunked him in the back. Benches cleared, Cervelli had some words, Rothschild got ejected, and the game continued. Later Saltalamacchia, swung into a pitch that hit him in the arm, and the umpire rewarded him a hit-by-pitch. Girardi came out to argue and got tossed. It was pretty clear that Saltalamacchia swung at the pitch, but umpires have a tough job of watching the game a few feet away from the action and reporting what they see so we have to forgive them.

Adrenaline Fueled Charity!

Cervelli hit a homerun, his second jack of the season. That's $2 for the babies at the Children's Health Fund.

Mark Teixeira 35hr = $70
Curtis Granderson 38hr = $76
Russell Martin 17hr = $34
Alex Rodriguez 14hr = $28
Jorge Posada 12hr = $24
Robinson Cano 23hr = $46
Andruw Jones 11hr = $22
Brett Gardner 5hr = $10
Nick Swisher 21hr = $42
Derek Jeter 4hr = $8
Francisco Cervelli 2hr = $4
Eduardo Nunez 4hr = $8
Ramiro Pena 1hr = $2
Eric Chavez 1hr = $2
Total = $376