Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Back by Popular Demand

It's been a while since we last spoke with our esteemed GM, so it was time to fire up the old video satellite phone and call up one Brian Cashman. The following is a Justice Department approved transcript of the conversation:

BC: Hello?

RJG: Hey Bronny.

BC: Wow. I haven't heard from you in a while! Where have you been?

RJG: Well, after you failed to sign Lee I didn't really have anything to say to you. But I figured I should check in at this point in the spring.

BC: I know you're down about Lee, but we've got a good rotation.

RJG: Yeah, I know. Hell, if Burnett can manage to land his foot consistently in the same spot, with his stuff, it's almost like having a Cliff and I can't even finish that sentence.

BC: You don't have to be snippy!

RJG: You're right. I don't have to be. Yet somehow I am. Funny how that works isn't it?

BC: Do you call me just to be an @$$hole?

RJG: Well, I think I'm an @$$hole whether or not I'm calling you at the time. What? Do you expect me to change who I am just because I'm talking to the guy who failed to trade all our prospects for Felix Hernandez?

BC: Would you really want me to do that?

RJG: I'm just hurt right now.

BC: You realize we have three solid starting pitchers, with more than two competitive back end options for the rotation? There aren't that many teams in baseball who have as many good, viable pitching options. We're in a pretty good position.

RJG: Don't try to use fact and logic against me, Bronny! You know that's not fair!

BC: Have you been drinking?

RJG: What makes you think that?

BC: You've been yelling all your non exclamatory sentences throughout this conversation.

RJG: Maybe that's how I talk.

BC: It's not though. We've talked on multiple occasions. I know that's not how you talk.

RJG: I'm reading the paper.

BC: What?

RJG: The paper. I'm reading it.

BC: Man, you're losing it.

RJG: I haven't watched a baseball game since October! Of course I'm losing it!

BC: You need another hobby.

RJG: I'm sure someone like you has plenty of time for hobbies when you're busy not signing your free agent targets. Boom!

BC: I failed to sign one target to what was almost certainly an irresponsible contract anyway. Why are you so hung up on this?

RJG: I'm not really, it's just been such an uneventful Winter and Spring that I don't have anything else to talk about.

BC: You could simply not call me then.

RJG: It's not all about you, Bronny.


There you have it folks. The Yankees feel good about their rotation options heading into the season. I think it's hard to argue with them.


Anonymous said...

Really? I'm not that confident about our rotation.

Roberto E. Alejandro said...

I'm not convinced there's any team in the AL East that has a rotation significantly stronger than ours, if stronger at all.

Rob B said...

I love these Bronny Cash phone calls. You guys don't do enough of them.

On a somewhat related note, you DO know why Bronny didn't have a more productive off season, don't you?

He sent his ninja suit to the dry cleaners, and they lost it. Sad but true.

Roberto E. Alejandro said...

I may have to look into this.