Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Colon Defeats the As

The Good

Bartolo Colon went nine innings, shutting out the As. They were so shut out at their own park that they thought the MLBPA was striking in solidarity with the NFLPA. Teixeira hit another home run, too.

The Bad

The Athletics no longer allow monkey knife fights in the concourses of their stadium, forcing helpless fans to watch the As instead.

The Ugly

Teixeira is now tied for the team lead in home runs with Curtis Granderson, who hasn't hit a home run since he was compared to Jose Bautista during the recent Toronto series. Sources inside the clubhouse say Granderson is fuming about having lost the home run lead, and that Teixeira has been warned to watch his back. We will update you on any and all developments as they occur.


Teixeira hit another home run to add $2 to the CHF coffers. Good for him!

Mark Teixeira 16hr = $32
Curtis Granderson 16hr = $32
Russell Martin 9hr = $18
Alex Rodriguez 9hr = $18
Jorge Posada 6hr = $12
Robinson Cano 10hr = $20
Andruw Jones 4hr = $8
Brett Gardner 3hr = $6
Nick Swisher 3hr = $6
Derek Jeter 2hr = $4
Francisco Cervelli 1hr = $2
Eduardo Nunez 1hr = $2
Total = $154

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