Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Detroit Thinks Its So Clever

The Good

Bartolo Colon pitches another gem going 7 innings and allowing 3 runs. Chamberlain stole his win pitching a scoreless inning of his own, and Mariano closed it.

Also good, the Yankee offense managed to score 5 runs without hitting any homers.

The Bad

After the Yankees scored in the 9th and Chamberlain was in line for the win, he turned to Colon and said "I have just as many wins as you." As Colon turned to argue, Chamberlain continued "And no losses." Referring to Colon's loss against Boston last month. Colon hung his head in shame.

The Ugly

Though the Yankees got the win there were many missed opportunities. Apparently, instead of focusing on batting, the Yankee batters were more interested in making fun of the pitchers.

"I thought I was pitching pretty well." Explained Detroit's starter Justin Verlander. "But I don't know that they were taking me seriously. Posada came up to bat against me and was all like 'Hey Verlander, you read at a 4th grade reading level. Just like a 4th grader!' I didn't know how to respond to that."

"Yeah in my inning, there wasn't a single Yankee who tried to hit." Explained Detroit releiver Alburquerque. "The first batter I faced was like 'Hey, aren't you named after a crappy city?' Then the next guy was like 'You drive a Chrysler because you're from Detroit moron!' Then Posada yelled out to Verlander, and told him to try and read my name. Verlander was trying to sound it out like a 4th grader. His lip started quivering. It was embarrasing."

It was after that inning that the Yankees took the psychological edge, and scored twice to win the game.

Wins Count For Something, but Homers Count for the Children

Wins will get the Yankees closer to the post season, but homers get the children closer to health. A giant shame on the Yankees for denying the children health care. Obama's pissed.

Mark Teixeira 7hr = $14
Curtis Granderson 8hr = $16
Russell Martin 6hr = $12
Alex Rodriguez 5hr = $10
Jorge Posada 6hr = $12
Robinson Cano 8hr = $16
Andruw Jones 1hr = $2
Brett Gardner 3hr = $6
Nick Swisher 1hr = $2
Total = $90


Roberto E. Alejandro said...

Funny video from Fenway, which apparently has better security than Dodger Stadium.

Jon Roberts said...

I've been having a lot of fun watching Colon pitch. He doesn't even look like he cares on the mound and then makes the hitters look like chumps. Every time I see him though I get a little sad that The Fat Toad is already taken for a nickname. Also it would sound mean and I like him. Maybe it would work in Spanish.