Wednesday, May 18, 2011

New Sunflower Seeds Lead to A-Rod's Breakout

The Good

One day after RJG's breaking news story of the generic sunflower seeds being interspersed with muscle relaxants and causing the lack of offense, the Yankees have remedied the situation and have begun to hit. No one eats more sunflower seeds than Alex Rodriguez, and his offense yesterday showed it. A-Rod went 2-4 with 2 homeruns. Also positive is that Brett Gardner laid down a bunt as part of a 3-4 night. Even Posada got in on the resurgence with a 2-3 performance with a double.

Much props have to go to Ivan Nova for bouncing back from a terrible outing against Kansas City where he lasted 3 innings. Nova allowed 1 run over 5.1 innings. He left the game with the bases loaded in the 6th, but Dave Robertson came in and struck out Upton and Kotchman to end the inning.

"I feel so relaxed in those situations." Explained Robertson. "But then again I saved some of those sunflower seeds from yesterday."

The Bad

Curtis Granderson went 0-5 which means that when he's hitting the rest of the offense is not, and when the rest of the offense is hitting, he is not. Its just not fair.

The Ugly

Amauri Sanit came in for mop up duty, but after giving up a run and narrowing the lead to a paltry 4 runs, Girardi had had enough. Girardi called in Mo who was already driving back to the hotel. People thought it strange that when Rothchild went to make the bullpen call he used his cell phone. After a 20 minute "warm up" delay, Mariano showed up in jeans and a t-shirt, and got the final out. Best non-save performance ever.

A-Rod Stops Being Stingy

After holding out for several weeks now, A-Rod finally relented for the sake of the children. 2 A-Rod homeruns means $4 from the RJG to the Children's Health Fund.

Mark Teixeira 9hr = $18
Curtis Granderson 14hr = $28
Russell Martin 8hr = $16
Alex Rodriguez 8hr = $16
Jorge Posada 6hr = $12
Robinson Cano 9hr = $18
Andruw Jones 1hr = $2
Brett Gardner 3hr = $6
Nick Swisher 2hr = $4
Derek Jeter 2hr = $4
Francisco Cervelli 1hr = $2
Total = $126


Rich Mahogany said...

I thought bringing in Rivera was excessive, until I realized that if the Yankees blew the lead with 2 outs in the ninth because they left Sanit in, I would have wanted to die.

Meanwhile, the Yankees are carrying Noesi but still haven't used him. I thought he would pitch the 9th yesterday, but instead we saw Sanit, a guy who should be in the pen for garbage time innings only. Why are the Yankees so intent on keeping Noesi if they don't let him pitch? RJG, this should be your next Yankees expose.

Fernando Alejandro said...

We'll have to send in our investigative ninja to figure that one out!

And I agree, if they lost 7 in a row, I'd have to find sackcloth and ashes and begin the mourning ritual.