Saturday, May 7, 2011

Nova Shuts Down Rangers

The Good

Nova had his longest start of the season, giving us 7.1 innings and allowing only one unearned run. That means the Rangers scored a run but didn't earn it. It was a charity run. That run is dead to them. Granderson hit two home runs. He then proceeded to sow the name 'Pujols' into the back of his jersey.

The Bad

The Yankees do not allow names on the back of one's jersey. Granderson was stunned to find this out. "I thought the jersey's were blank so we could pick our own names," explained a still visibly upset Granderson.

The Ugly

When told he would have to remove the name from the back of his jersey, Granderson refused, pointing out the careful double stitching around each letter that represented so much effort on his part. When Girardi insisited the letters, and the double stitching, be removed, Granderson went out to center field, threw his glove over the wall, and laid down in a fetal position on the warning track. Good thing Nova induced so many ground balls.

Eight Bases

Granderson had two home runs yesterday, accounting for three of the four Yankee runs. Nobody cares about how the fourth run was scored. $4 more for the children.


Mark Teixeira 8hr = $16
Curtis Granderson 10hr = $20
Russell Martin 6hr = $12
Alex Rodriguez 5hr = $10
Jorge Posada 6hr = $12
Robinson Cano 8hr = $16
Andruw Jones 1hr = $2
Brett Gardner 3hr = $6
Nick Swisher 1hr = $2
Total = $96

2 comments:

Uncle Mike said...

Why would Granderson want to do that? Luis Pujols was just a good-field-no-hit backup catcher.

Fernando Alejandro said...

Yeah, but he did it while playing clean, and Granderson respects that.