Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Yu Darvish Makes the Yankees Pay for Ruining P-Rod's Retirement Party

The Good

Kuroda didn't suck.  

The Bad

Everyone else on the team not named Jeter sure did.  Also, is it me, or does A-Rod look really bad right now?  He looks like he's having trouble catching up to fastballs in the low 90s, which doesn't bode well for our three/four hitter.  Let's just hope that A-Rod's hip muscles don't currently look like Pineda's shoulder muscles.  

The Ugly

Asked after the game why he wouldn't let the Yankees score any runs, Darvish explained that he was upset that the Yankees ruined Pudge's retirement party.  

"We had it all set up," explained Darvish.  "We had these great party hats, and a banner, and a cake.  Then, right before Pudge arrived, Mick Kelleher walks by and says, 'nice hats, do they come in mens?'  He laughed hysterically.  Then, when he finally caught his breath, he goes, 'those hats are so stupid they match your IQ!'  Then he cut the corner off of the cake with a Karate chop, ate it, wiped his hands on the banner, and walked away.  We still had the party, but you could tell everyone was self-conscious about the hats.  It really killed the vibe."  

No Balls Were Harmed in the Filming of This Game

The Yankees scored zero runs on zero home runs and zero RBI.  

Raul Ibanez 2hr = $4
Nick Swisher 4hr = $8
Andruw Jones 2hr = $4
Derek Jeter 4hr = $8
Curtis Granderson 6hr = $12
Alex Rodriguez 3hr = $6
Robinson Cano 1hr = $2
Mark Teixeira 3hr = $6
Eric Chavez 2hr = $4
Russell Martin 1hr = $2

Total 28hr = $56


Rich Mahogany said...

ARod's GIDP with the bases loaded - part of the Yankees' failure to score with the bases loaded and no outs - was brutal. If either Granderson or ARod comes through in that situation, the Yankees probably win the game.

ARod has shown enough power and discipline that I'm telling myself that this is just a slow start. His numbers will look decent with just a short hot streak, much like Granderson essentially turned his season around with a couple of games. But the scary thing is that he doesn't seem like he is anything more than a pretty good player at best anymore, and the Yankees will be paying him another $1.3 billion for the next 18 years.

Fernando Alejandro said...

Its true. Don't ever let anyone tell you that cheaters never win. They win the biggest contracts in professional sports not to mention various awards and accolades for the small price of having to sit before the press and give a genuine-sounding apology. Sign me up!

Rob B said...

Yeah, A-Rod didn't come through in that situation and swung at a borderline pitch. But consider: Granderson had just struck out on a pitch in the opposite batters box. Hard to be selective when the umpire is calling that kind of strike zone.

Me, I'm just tired of the lack of accountability with MLB umps. It's not like Yu needed the assist from behind the plate. He was pitching well enough on his own.

price per head said...

for those people that still do not believe in karma, I think this is a very good proof that will make them believe in it hahaha