Teixeira Returns to Lineup After Testing Thumb

As some may know, Mark Teixeira had injured his thumb in Chicago trying to making a diving stop on a ball hit to first. Though Mark had been resting his thumb, it was decided that he would need to test it before returning to the lineup.

"We don't want to take any chances." Explained manager Joe Girardi. "The opposable digit is the only thing that separates us from apes. The only thing. Its a scientific fact. Give apes an opposable thumb, and suddenly they have the power to launch nuclear warheads, and conceive such things as democracy."

Girardi, unwilling to chance Teixeira's thumb made him pass several thumb tests before writing him into the lineup. Teixeira explained the grueling process.

"I had to play 3 hours of X-Box 360 to show that my thumb was both agile and strong enough to endure so much playing time. I then had to defeat Girardi in a thumb wrestling contest, and Girardi's a pro. He played while reading the paper. I won on a technicality, after replays showed Girardi's thumb had stepped out of the boundaries thus violating one of the regulations of thumb warfare."

The tests proved effective as Teixeira went 3-3 with a homerun and a double in last nights game.

Yanks Beat Up the A's

The Good

The Yankees pummeled the A's, whose apostrophe doesn't make any sense. It's supposed to be a plural, not a possessive. But schools aren't good like that in Oakland, so it's okay. Three home runs (apiece) from Teixeira, Cano, and Thames. Javy pitched very well out of the bullpen.

The Bad

There is a lot of talk about Javy moving back to the rotation after what he's done in the 'pen. Bad idea. The guy has been, at best, an inconsistent starter all season. He's generally been a shutdown long reliever. We can all pretend that success out of the 'pen will translate into success in the starting rotation, or we can ask Kerry Wood how well that theory works out.

The Ugly

After the Yankees won, they exchanged high fives in the middle of the diamond. That's right, on the pitcher's mound. Dallas Braden's pitcher's mound. Braden was not happy.

Home Runs Come in Bunches

Teixeira, Cano, and Thames each went deep. Teixeira and Cano hit measly solo shots, while Thames, our new ringer, hit a three run home run. Both Teixeira and Cano were sent home to think about their lack of effort.

Posada 16hr = $32
Granderson 14hr = $28
Cano 26hr = $52
Swisher 24hr = $48
Jeter 10hr = $20
Johnson 2hr = $4
Rodriguez 21hr = $42
Teixeira 29hr = $58
Thames 10hr = $20
Gardner 5hr = $10
Winn 1hr = $2
Miranda 3hr = $6
Curtis 1hr = $2
Kearns 2hr = $4
Nunez 1hr = $2
Total = $330

Yanks Take Series From Chicago

The Good

The Yankees took a series against a team playing well. They even managed to win a close game. That game was pitched by a rookie pitcher who is better than Burnett right now, a man 20 years older and with $20 more dollars than Nova. CC won his universe leading 18th straight game, allowing zero runs in the 2nd inning for the 89th time in his career and 16th time this season. Sabathia is now 8-0 on games played on natural grass in the central time zone on sunny days.

The Bad

Thames had three home runs. That's not bad for us but it was for the White Sox, who are still reeling from the Black Sox scandal of 1919.

The Ugly

With the series wrapped up, the Yankees were prepared to leave Chicago, but Sean Connery showed up explaining that if they put one of yours in the hospital, you put one of theirs in the morgue. That's the Chicago way. The White Sox hadn't put anyone in the hospital, so Sean Connery's mad ravings didn't make much sense. Then the Yankees realized it wasn't Sean Connery, but Ozzie Guillen doing a killer Sean Connery impression. That in itself wasn't ugly, but the fact that Guillen got into the visiting clubhouse without proper authorization was a major security breach. A performance and policy review is currently underway.

It's Thames O'Clock

That one may not make much sense if you've never lived in the UK, so don't worry about it. Thames had three home runs over the last two games. Three more than Nova did. It's not clear, as a result, whether Nova will get another start. Swisher and Nunez also hit home runs. That makes for five home runs in two days. That's 2.5 home runs per day, which means two of those home runs were really doubles where they really legged it out. That's how official scoring works.

Posada 16hr = $32
Granderson 14hr = $28
Cano 25hr = $50
Swisher 24hr = $48
Jeter 10hr = $20
Johnson 2hr = $4
Rodriguez 21hr = $42
Teixeira 28hr = $56
Thames 9hr = $18
Gardner 5hr = $10
Winn 1hr = $2
Miranda 3hr = $6
Curtis 1hr = $2
Kearns 2hr = $4
Nunez 1hr = $2
Total = $324

Chi Town Blues

The Good

There were no Candy Man related incidents on the South Side of Chicago last night.

The Bad

The Yankees were pretty bad. Burnett failed to even give us four innings, there were errors, sloppy play, sloppy haircuts, and loose uniforms. It was like the Yankees were trying to play bad on purpose, probably just to find another way, besides their money, to ruin baseball for everyone.

The Ugly

Burnett's consistency. Are his mechanics that bad/non-existent? How can this guy be so inconsistent? At least he's not hurt. Man, I really wish we had the under-performing Cliff Lee right about now.

Swish Launches One

No, not his errant throw to home, his home run in the ninth. Good stuff.

Posada 16hr = $32
Granderson 14hr = $28
Cano 25hr = $50
Swisher 23hr = $46
Jeter 10hr = $20
Johnson 2hr = $4
Rodriguez 21hr = $42
Teixeira 28hr = $56
Thames 6hr = $12
Gardner 5hr = $10
Winn 1hr = $2
Miranda 3hr = $6
Curtis 1hr = $2
Kearns 2hr = $4
Total = $314

Cancel the Hall Ceremony

It wasn't supposed to be like this. He was supposed to pitch. Pitch no-hitters. Perfect games. Win the World Series by himself, aided by a series of ghost runners. Then, he was supposed to be inducted into Cooperstown before he'd even reached opening day of his second season.

It wasn't meant to be it seems. The renaming of the Cy Young Award will have to wait now that Strasburg has blown out his arm after just under three months in the big leagues. The Nationals' Ace will likely have Tommy John Surgery, named after the famed Yankees pitcher who performed the surgery on himself between innings in order to stay in a close game.

The Nationals are in big trouble. "What the hell are we going to do with 300,000 Strasburg NL MVP t-shirts?" said one Nationals team executive. "We can't sell these now in order to finance our recent signing of another prospect who might never do anything worthwhile! Our business plan is totally f#@ked! Thanks a lot Stephen!"

It isn't clear what affect this will have on the Nationals promising season. I'd finish that thought but it's patently ridiculous. In a few years, Strasburg will probably be pitching out of the bullpen, no longer throwing 110mph change-ups. Ah, youth.

Thames Biggest Offensive Threat

The Good

Marcus Thames seems to be the most potent hitter throughout this Toronto series. RJG learned that Thames has a personal vendetta against the Blue Jays. "I was here in Toronto a few years ago, and this guy walks up to me, and he's like 'Do you have two loonies for a toonie?' and I was like 'I don't want any trouble.' and he says 'What do you mean? I need some loonies.' and I was like 'I don't do drugs.' and the guy was just a jerk. From there on out, I made it my personal goal to mash against the Blue Jays."

Also good, Javier Vazquez's 4.1 innings of 1 run relief. Phil Hughes' 3.1 innings of 5 run ball was not good, but the fact that he limited his own innings was helpful to his overall arm health. We can count that as a positive, maybe.

The Bad

Besides Thames, the offense was listless. We do not have the division locked down by any means, and this series has revealed some weaknesses, namely a streaky offense.

The Ugly

Phil Hughes' start ended poorly. When will Pettitte be back?

Thames Cares

Last night Marcus Thames hit the only homerun of the Yankees evening providing the children with extra money.

Posada 16hr = $32
Granderson 14hr = $28
Cano 25hr = $50
Swisher 22hr = $44
Jeter 10hr = $20
Johnson 2hr = $4
Rodriguez 21hr = $42
Teixeira 28hr = $56
Thames 6hr = $12
Gardner 5hr = $10
Winn 1hr = $2
Miranda 3hr = $6
Curtis 1hr = $2
Kearns 2hr = $4
Total = $312

Damon Rejects the BoSox

Oh Boston, how's it feel to be so petty? You booed a guy who helped lead you to a curse breaking World Series and now he has come back to spurn you. Here's the take of one of your own. And here's a guy from SI.com.

The Jenkins piece raises an interesting question. Would Damon have been booed had he come back to Yankee Stadium in a BoSox uniform? I really hope not. And to be honest, I think we would give him another standing O, just to show how classy we are. The guy helped us win a World Series. I know Boston doesn't have many World Series, and so maybe they don't know how they should treat those players who help them achieve one, but Yankee fans are not likely to forget the double steal in game four. You don't boo someone who did that. No matter what uniform he's wearing. Does anybody care that David Cone signed a contract with Boston before retiring? No. He pitched a perfect game and won World Series for us. Like Cone, Damon will always be a Yankee because of that game four. You don't boo someone who did that. You just don't.

Swish Explains His Injury

After yesterday's game, Swisher explained the at-bat in which he got hurt.

"Well, we were up 11-2 so I decided I would go for the cycle. But with a lead like that, you don't go for a measly regular cycle. I wanted the super-cycle. This requires a single, an infield single, a double (which I already had), a ground rule double, a triple, a home run and an inside the park home run. You also need a walk and a hit by pitch. When I fouled that ball off my knee, I was swinging for the infield single, but I knocked it down and back instead of a down and forward. Then Joe came out and I'm all, 'Don't take me out skip, I'm going for the super-cycle.' He's all, 'The super-cycle? Man, that would be so cool!' Then he comes back a pitch later and he's like, 'I just looked it up, there is no super-cycle! You made that $#!% up! Go sit on the bench and think about what you did.' Then my knee swelled up."

Dustin Moseley is this Years Shawn Chacon

The Good

5 homeruns backed by a solid 6 inning 2 run effort out of Dustin Moseley ruled yesterdays game.

Remember Shawn Chacon a few years back? We picked him up from the scrap heap, he pitched well that season, then couldn't keep it going the next year? Moseley has had some really rough starts, but he's interesting because he'll give up 4 runs to Kansas City, and then shut down teams like the Blue Jays and Red Sox. Either way, if he can pitch like this against AL east teams, we will take it.

The Bad

Gaudin was not very effective in relief. 2 innings 3 runs, 4 children weep.

The Ugly

At some point the discussion is going to come up about our captain. He's in a contract year, and though he hit a homerun last night, he's batting .276 on the season. There's still more than a month of baseball left this season, and his gangster is well established, here's hoping that he turns back the clock, shatters the clock, burns the shattered pieces, and then signs a big contract.

4 Children Weep, but 5 Children Rejoice!

5 Yankees hit homeruns last night, making up for the powerless outing we saw the evening before. Granderson, Teixeira, Thames, Jeter, and Posada were the culprits.


Posada 16hr = $32
Granderson 14hr = $28
Cano 25hr = $50
Swisher 22hr = $44
Jeter 10hr = $20
Johnson 2hr = $4
Rodriguez 21hr = $42
Teixeira 28hr = $56
Thames 5hr = $10
Gardner 5hr = $10
Winn 1hr = $2
Miranda 3hr = $6
Curtis 1hr = $2
Kearns 2hr = $4
Total = $310

Yankees Waste Nova's Start

The Good

It looks like we may have something in Ivan Nova. Nova went 5.1 innings, allowed two runs and tried to kill Jose Bautista. That is exactly what you look for in a rookie call-up.

The Bad

Brandon Morrow once again dominated the Yankees when pitching at the Maple Dome (I can't remember what it's called right now, leave me alone). The Yankees offense once again laid down and wasted a perfectly good effort by the pitching staff.

The Ugly

Right now the Yankees are like a schoolyard bully. They beat up on a lot of weak, little guys, but as soon as anyone stands in there with them they back down like the cowards they really are on the inside. It's great that we win against bad teams, you have to do that if you're going to be successful, but we really need to pick it up against the better teams in the league. Our recent record against such adversaries does not leave much room for confidence.

Bombers Can't Take Off in Adverse Weather Conditions

And by adverse weather I mean Brandon Morrow pitching. I need to go throw up now.

Posada 15hr = $30
Granderson 13hr = $26
Cano 25hr = $50
Swisher 22hr = $44
Jeter 9hr = $18
Johnson 2hr = $4
Rodriguez 21hr = $42
Teixeira 27hr = $54
Thames 4hr = $8
Gardner 5hr = $10
Winn 1hr = $2
Miranda 3hr = $6
Curtis 1hr = $2
Kearns 2hr = $4
Total = $300

Another Warm Conversation With Our Friend Bronny

It had been a while since our last conversation with Mr. Cash, the man responsible for making sure our team is better than the Rays. We couldn't even remember the last time we talked to old Bronny. The following is our attempt to remedy that:

BC: Hello?

RJG: Yes, may I speak to Brian please.

BC: Speaking.

RJG: Yes, I can see that you're speaking. I need to speak to Brian. Briiiiiiiian. Put Brian on.

BC: This is Brian.

RJG: You don't sound like the dog from Family Guy. Oh snap! You're named after a cartoon dog. Hey, do you ever hang out with Santa's Little Helper?

BC: Very funny.

RJG: So, the team is looking kind of . . . It's weird actually. They have the best record in baseball but you can't help but feel like they're not quite up to snuff.

BC: Well I don't think we're playing our best but we have a strong team. Stronger than last year's team. We have much more pitching depth.

RJG: I know, with Pettitte on the DL and Javy's utter ineffectiveness we're way deeper at pitcher.

BC: I was referring to the bullpen. And when Andy gets back we'll have four solid starters going into October.

RJG: I assume you count AJ in that number. But he's not a solid starter heading into the last week of August. Why should we expect more come October?

BC: Because I paid him $85 million.

RJG: That doesn't strike me as a particularly good reason.

BC: Well, it's the only one I've got. Why don't you put that in your pipe and smoke it?!

RJG: I only fill my pipe with the finest Cuban tobacco, not bull$#!%, which is what you're full of.

BC: Sir, you have insulted my honor!

RJG: No Bronny. You're not getting out of this conversation that easily this time. A-Rod's on the DL. Pettitte's on the DL. Jeter is having the worst year of his career. Posada is old. Your mom is old. And Pettitte broke his groin. That's not a good state of affairs.

BC: Well you don't have to get all factual about it.

RJG: Don't you have some sort of response?!

BC: We have the best record in baseball, what else would you like me to say? Yeah, we have some older guys. You know what else we have, the best record in baseball. Sure, our pitching staff has not shown an optimal level of consistency. But guess what, we have the best record in baseball. We have hands down the best bullpen in the division, which is to say baseball, and we've continued to play well despite the Rays breathing down our necks. We're a veteran team that isn't phased by a pennant race, and we have the best record in baseball. Why don't you just chillax?

RJG: Well you don't have to get all factual about it.

[Click]

There you have it folks, the Yankees still have the best record in baseball.

Yankees Win A Series for Only the Second Time in One Week

The Good

The Yankees' offense has come alive the last two games, scoring 19 runs in two days. Sabathia was dominant, until the rain ruined his start. Rain, if you're wondering why nobody likes you, this is why.

The Bad

The Mariners are pretty bad.

The Ugly

Cano had six RBI on two hits tonight. A-Rod, concerned that he might permanently lose his clean-up spot to Cano, begged to be let in the game. "You're on the disabled list, we can't put you in," explained Girardi.

"Please. Let me play. I'm not as drunk as you think I am," responded A-Rod.

"No one said you were drunk," said a puzzled Girardi.

A-Rod was pretty drunk.

Lightning and Thunder

Kearns, Cano, and Posada each had a home run. It was Posada's second game in a row with a home run.

Posada 15hr = $30
Granderson 13hr = $26
Cano 25hr = $50
Swisher 22hr = $44
Jeter 9hr = $18
Johnson 2hr = $4
Rodriguez 21hr = $42
Teixeira 27hr = $54
Thames 4hr = $8
Gardner 5hr = $10
Winn 1hr = $2
Miranda 3hr = $6
Curtis 1hr = $2
Kearns 2hr = $4
Total = $300

Yanks Even Series

The Good

Nine runs, four in the first, is pretty good. The bullpen gave us six innings of 1 run baseball.

The Bad

Mo, who came in for a four out save gave up a run in the ninth. He probably just cost himself that big contract extension he's so desperately seeking.

The Ugly

Javy gave up four runs in three innings. He also only pitched three innings. I didn't know the Yankees had half days like in elementary school.

The P in Posada Stands for Power

Jorge Posada kept the kids happy today, hitting his 14th home run of the year.

Posada 14hr = $28
Granderson 13hr = $26
Cano 24hr = $48
Swisher 22hr = $44
Jeter 9hr = $18
Johnson 2hr = $4
Rodriguez 21hr = $42
Teixeira 27hr = $54
Thames 4hr = $8
Gardner 5hr = $10
Winn 1hr = $2
Miranda 3hr = $6
Curtis 1hr = $1
Kearns 1hr = $1
Total = $294

If Only We Played in the NL West Too

Mike Lupica recently wrote this column comparing the remarkably similar records of the San Diego Padres and the New York Yankees. It is remarkable, claims Lupica, because the Padres' payroll is just $37M.

There is no question that the Padres have a small payroll and that they have done well. Everybody knows that spending money in baseball is no guarantee of success, especially after the last ten years. There is something to be said for spending wisely.

That said, this article may never have been written if the Yankees played in the NL West and the Padres in the AL East. Would the Padres have as good a record if they faced the Red Sox, Rays, and Blue Jays eighteen times each? Would the Yankees be ahead of the Padres by only a couple games if they faced the Giants, Diamondbacks, Dodgers, and Rockies regularly? The weakness of both the NL relative to the AL, and the NL West in particular inflate the Padres' success.

Additionally, spending is more necessary to have continued success in the AL East. Will the Rays continue to be successful when they lose Crawford, Pena, and Longoria? The Yanks, because of their history and market, can't just rebuild every few years. That means paying money to retain home grown stars, and paying money to bring in free agents. There's no way around the Yankees having to spend. Now, that is not to say they need to continue to spend over $200M. Just that they can't spend $37M and have a good team once every couple decades. That's okay in California because Californians go to the ballpark to work on their tan. New Yorkers go to the park practically to ensure the team is playing as hard as possible; as though they were the owners of the team making a surprise visit to make sure no one is slacking off. Baseball matters in New York. New Yorkers obsess over baseball. They're such ravenous sports fans that they boo fat middle aged guys who fail to catch foul balls hit into the stands. New York is not the sort of place where you can just hang around as a baseball team. So the comparison, it seems, suffers from not taking these things into consideration.

King Felix Does It Again

The Good

King Felix didn't throw a complete game against us. Instead we limited his effectiveness to a measly eight innings.

The Bad

We loaded the bases at one point (the sixth I believe) and couldn't get anything done. Somehow, batting Pena and Gardner in succession proved ineffective.

The Ugly

Burnett gave up six runs in six innings. That's all I have to say about that.

Why Do the Kids Have to Suffer?

No runs means no home runs. Thanks a lot, Yankees.

Posada 13hr = $26
Granderson 13hr = $26
Cano 24hr = $48
Swisher 22hr = $44
Jeter 9hr = $18
Johnson 2hr = $4
Rodriguez 21hr = $42
Teixeira 27hr = $54
Thames 4hr = $8
Gardner 5hr = $10
Winn 1hr = $2
Miranda 3hr = $6
Curtis 1hr = $1
Kearns 1hr = $1
Total = $292

An Open Letter of Apology to Phil Hughes

Dear Mr. Hughes,

Yesterday we at the RJG incorrectly reported that you pitched five innings, when indeed you had pitched six innings. It's not that I was purposely trying to misrepresent your accomplishment, it's just that I misread the box score. Had someone in the Yankees front office alerted me about yesterday's series finale being a day game, maybe this wouldn't have happened. Or maybe, just maybe, if you were man enough to sit through a long half inning and still be able to pitch this never would have happened. Then you might have thrown seven innings, and it is much harder to confuse seven with five than it is six with five, being as the latter two symbols are more similar in the Arabic number system. I guess we can both agree that it's a good thing the Offense didn't give you a nine run lead in the second, in which case you would've had a very short day and I would've been writing about Mitre instead. So do accept my sincerest apologies for our mistake.

Sincerely,

RJG

Yanks Take Series from Detroit

The Good

There was the nine run sixth for one. As a team, the Yankees hit for the cycle (I didn't know you could do this as a team effort) and Cano was just a triple shy of one himself. Hughes didn't go long, but pitched an effective five innings, allowing only two runs.

The Bad

Mitre gave up three runs in three innings. That's almost a run an inning. Unacceptable.

The Ugly

Today's game was a day game, which I didn't find out until the game was already in the ninth inning. No one in the Yankees organization even bothered to call me about the game time. This really is a much less classy operation now that the Boss is gone. You'll pay for this Yankees front office!

Doncha Know?

Cano had the only home run for the Yankees, a nine run shot in the sixth. At least that's how the official score keeper called it after Cano paid him a "friendly" visit. I'm not putting friendly in quotation marks. Cano made the quotation marks gesture when he explained the nature of his visit to the official scorer's booth to the press corp.

Posada 13hr = $26
Granderson 13hr = $26
Cano 24hr = $48
Swisher 22hr = $44
Jeter 9hr = $18
Johnson 2hr = $4
Rodriguez 21hr = $42
Teixeira 27hr = $54
Thames 4hr = $8
Gardner 5hr = $10
Winn 1hr = $2
Miranda 3hr = $6
Curtis 1hr = $1
Kearns 1hr = $1
Total = $292

Yanks Take Series Lead

The Good

We scored runs and Gaudin retaliated for Gardner being hit in the leg by hitting Cabrera in the back. He also let the air out of Cabrera's tires and smashed all his windows. It was a rental and Cabrera didn't take out the extra insurance with the lower deductible, so that's pretty f@#ked up. He also peed in Cabrera's locker between innings.

The Bad

The Tigers threw at both Jeter and Cano after the Gaudin incident but we were too busy winning to get them back. We owe them two.

The Ugly

After the game, Girardi was quoted as saying, "I just think it got ugly." He wasn't referring to the game, but to Jim Leyland's face. This series just got interesting.

I Have the Power

Actually, three Yankees had the power last night. Teixeira continues to mash, hitting his 27th home run. Cano followed up Teixeira's first inning blast with one of his own. Granderson also hit a home run in the 5th. Remember when we traded for Granderson and all thought he'd hit at least 35 home runs in Yankee Stadium? Well, with his new swing, that still might happen.

Posada 13hr = $26
Granderson 13hr = $26
Cano 23hr = $46
Swisher 22hr = $44
Jeter 9hr = $18
Johnson 2hr = $4
Rodriguez 21hr = $42
Teixeira 27hr = $54
Thames 4hr = $8
Gardner 5hr = $10
Winn 1hr = $2
Miranda 3hr = $6
Curtis 1hr = $1
Kearns 1hr = $1
Total = $290

Yankees Win, Not All Hope Is Lost

The Good

CC gave us seven strong innings, which is more than I can say for Robertson, who only gave us one strong inning. Granderson and Cano both homered. A-Rod got treatment on his calf and his replacement had an RBI.

The Bad

An MRI revealed that Andy Pettitte's groin is still broken. Sorry ladies.

The Ugly

It was revealed that Javier Vazquez got his dead arm from repeatedly punching K-Rod's father-in-law in the face. Apparently that guy's a real d@#k.

So That's Where The Outfield Fence Is

Cano and Granderson both went deep. The children are much better off now.

Posada 13hr = $26
Granderson 12hr = $24
Cano 22hr = $44
Swisher 22hr = $44
Jeter 9hr = $18
Johnson 2hr = $4
Rodriguez 21hr = $42
Teixeira 26hr = $52
Thames 4hr = $8
Gardner 5hr = $10
Winn 1hr = $2
Miranda 3hr = $6
Curtis 1hr = $1
Kearns 1hr = $1
Total = $284

Yankees Not Liking Midwest Teams

The Good

Granderson went 3-3. I think that's the extent of good news from yesterdays game. Mitre pitched pretty good in relief of Vazquez, which is a good sign for our bullpen, but he is still Sergio Mitre, which is a bad sign for our bullpen. But in fairness, he has been better his last few outings.

The Bad

You know when you lose something and you just can't find it? You look everywhere but it seems to have just disappeared? That is what this offense is like. After hitting 5 homeruns a few nights back, the Yankees have gone on to score one run over the last two games. Not good.

The Ugly

Vazquez lasted 4 innings allowing 2 runs. With Pettitte having set backs in his rehab, we need Vazquez to step up, but all indications seem to suggest he's just not up for it.

You Know What Else Disappeared?

Hope. No homeruns, means no money for the sick children. If multi-million dollar contracts don't motivate you to swing your bats then maybe the children will!

Posada 13hr = $26
Granderson 11hr = $22
Cano 21hr = $42
Swisher 22hr = $44
Jeter 9hr = $18
Johnson 2hr = $4
Rodriguez 21hr = $42
Teixeira 26hr = $52
Thames 4hr = $8
Gardner 5hr = $10
Winn 1hr = $2
Miranda 3hr = $6
Curtis 1hr = $1
Kearns 1hr = $1
Total = $280

Here's the best take on yesterday's game I've come across. Personally, I still foolishly believe that the Yanks are a lock for the play-offs. What I no longer foolishly believe is that they are a lock for the World Series. They just haven't shown the dominance/fight that last year's team had.

If you needed more proof that all athletes are douche bags, let me introduce you to one Stephen Strasburg. Stephen had some strong words for the Nationals' first round pick, Bryce Harper, because Harper has yet to sign a deal with the team. Never mind that Strasburg himself refused to sign until the last possible second in order to get the most possible money; Harper's refusal to sign so far is apparently evidence of his lack of desire to play on the Nationals. What a douche.

With Javy now throwing in the mid 80s, Cashman's failure to land a starter at the trade deadline is looming ever larger. I can understand not wanting to meet the price on Dan Haren, but they messed up on Cliff Lee. It doesn't matter that Cash went to bed thinking he had a deal in place. There is no deal in place until it's in place. It's as simple as this, "Hey, Zduriencick. If by chance you get another trade offer between now and tomorrow morning, call me and we'll see what we can do." If Javy can't get over his dead arm (he didn't in 2004) and Burnett can't find consistency, we're going to need MLB to reschedule the playoffs so that we don't need a fourth starter again.

WTF?

The Good

Burnett pitched a complete game, allowing only one run.

The Bad

Burnett pitched a complete game, allowing only one run. We lost today because Burnett couldn't find his stuff early and now they're laughing at us in Kansas City. Laughing.

The Ugly

The Yankees once again were made to look like a little league team when facing a rookie nobody with no record of success against anyone. And I don't mean one of those fake little league teams you see on ESPN filled with 15 year olds. I mean real little league teams. The ones where one of the outfielders is always sitting down during at bats, the gloves don't quite fit the hands, and no throw ever reaches its intended base. That's what we were made to look like last night and now they're laughing at us in Kansas City. Laughing.

You Know Who's Not Laughing?

. . . The children; who were again denied by a line up of selfish millionaires.

Posada 13hr = $26
Granderson 11hr = $22
Cano 21hr = $42
Swisher 22hr = $44
Jeter 9hr = $18
Johnson 2hr = $4
Rodriguez 21hr = $42
Teixeira 26hr = $52
Thames 4hr = $8
Gardner 5hr = $10
Winn 1hr = $2
Miranda 3hr = $6
Curtis 1hr = $1
Kearns 1hr = $1
Total = $280

A-Rod Beats KC, The Yankees Were There Too

The Good

Five home runs, three from Rodriguez is pretty good. Hughes got his 14th win with another quality start, and the bullpen pitched well.

The Bad

Gardner lost sight of a pop fly in the sixth. He was yelling, "I can't see it, I can't see it!" After the game there was a piano with a pair of sun glasses outside his locker. "What the F$@K is this?" asked an annoyed Gardner. "It's your new uniform, Ray Charles," came the response. Everybody laughed.

The Ugly

The Yankees hit three home runs in the sixth, one each by Rodriguez, Posada, and Granderson. Then, in the bottom of the inning, former Yankee Wilson Betemit hit a home run. As he rounded the bases he looked out towards right field where Nick Swisher was standing, the man he had been traded for two seasons ago. Betemit was all like, "Yeah." And Swish was all, "Whatever." And Betemit was on the Royals and Swish on the Yankees so Swish won.

A Groundswell of Support

The Yanks had five home runs, netting the children another $10. Looks like there is going to be a Christmas this year.

Posada 13hr = $26
Granderson 11hr = $22
Cano 21hr = $42
Swisher 22hr = $44
Jeter 9hr = $18
Johnson 2hr = $4
Rodriguez 21hr = $42
Teixeira 26hr = $52
Thames 4hr = $8
Gardner 5hr = $10
Winn 1hr = $2
Miranda 3hr = $6
Curtis 1hr = $1
Kearns 1hr = $1
Total = $280

Yanks Defeated by the Weather

The Good

The bullpen did stuff.

The Bad

I know it rained, but three runs? Really? We're still playing the Royals, right? Aren't we? Answer me! I'm so lonely.

The Ugly

During the rain delay, things got a little tense in the small Kansas City visiting clubhouse. Brett Gardner told Nick Swisher that he sucked at Connect Four, and to suck his Hasbro. This didn't sit well with Swish, who pulled out his travel Connect Four and demanded satisfaction. Swish won with a very clever series of moves, then told Gardner to lick his Milton Bradleys. Thing is, Milton Bradley was actually in the visiting clubhouse, saying he had some unfinished business with a water cooler who had given him lip. When he heard Swish's comment, he wept openly. Everyone else laughed.

No Soup For You!

That's what the kids will hear thanks to the Yankees lack of home run production. Selfish effort all around. Oh, and Ron Washington did cocaine.

Posada 12hr = $24
Granderson 10hr = $20
Cano 21hr = $42
Swisher 22hr = $44
Jeter 9hr = $18
Johnson 2hr = $4
Rodriguez 18hr = $36
Teixeira 26hr = $52
Thames 4hr = $8
Gardner 5hr = $10
Winn 1hr = $2
Miranda 3hr = $6
Curtis 1hr = $1
Kearns 1hr = $1
Total = $270

Yanks Defeat Royals

The Good

Sabathia pitched 8.2 innings, allowing 3 runs. Robertson didn't implode when he could have. Granderson had two hits.

The Bad

Granderson had two hits. That in itself isn't bad, but the fact that it is news, is. He only gets paid millions to hit the ball and occasionally catch it, so we really should be less surprised/impressed when he hits the ball twice in one game. Definitely gives you a sense of how his season has gone offensively.

The Ugly

After a long hot day, it was clear that Girardi was not interested in spending much time with the media, preferring his air-conditioned hotel room. As the press conference began, Jason Zillo called on the first reporter. But before that reporter could speak, Girardi posed a question of his own.

"Do any of you plan to go see 'Eat Pray Love,' starring Julia Roberts, and if so, what is it like to live without the curse of reason?"

We were all caught off guard by the question. We were also all very hurt, as we all planned to see that movie. Who wouldn't want to see that movie? Julia Roberts was in Pretty Woman. That's a classic. We all looked at each other in hurt, stunned disbelief. Then, when we looked back to the table where Girardi was seated for the press conference, he was gone. It was all a clever ruse to escape. I knew he couldn't have meant what he said about 'Eat Pray Love.'

Thank You Cleveland

Austin Kearns hit a home run last night. Just another contribution in last night's game from a former Indian. Thank you Cleveland. Oh yeah, how'd that whole Lebron thing work out for you? Zing!

Posada 12hr = $24
Granderson 10hr = $20
Cano 21hr = $42
Swisher 22hr = $44
Jeter 9hr = $18
Johnson 2hr = $4
Rodriguez 18hr = $36
Teixeira 26hr = $52
Thames 4hr = $8
Gardner 5hr = $10
Winn 1hr = $2
Miranda 3hr = $6
Curtis 1hr = $1
Kearns 1hr = $1
Total = $270

That's Just How We Roll

The Good

The Yankees exhibited some fight last night, particularly Marcus Thames who in addition to hitting a homerun in the 8th to put the Yankees within one run, he also hit a single in the 9th to drive in the go-ahead run. Thames is the MVP of the game and a hero to both men and women across the nation.

Wood did a good job of holding off the Rangers in releif, and Mariano, seeking redemption shut the 9th down for a save. Also good, Jeter went 3-5 with a triple.

The Bad

Nick Swisher went 0-5 with 4 strikeouts. Ouch.

The Ugly

Vazquez did not give us a lot to be hopeful for in yesterdays game. In 4.1 innings he allowed 6 runs. That just won't cut it. Anywhere.

Also ugly, what was with the Rangers using 6 releivers to pitch 2.2 innings?

Homeruns for the Children

As some of you may know by now, the RJG blog will be donating $2 to the Children's Health Fund for every homerun the Yankees hit this season. Last night, Marcus Thames hit a homerun in the 8th to set up his go ahead hit in the 9th. Brilliant is what it was.

Posada 12hr = $24
Granderson 10hr = $20
Cano 21hr = $42
Swisher 22hr = $44
Jeter 9hr = $18
Johnson 2hr = $4
Rodriguez 18hr = $36
Teixeira 26hr = $52
Thames 4hr = $8
Gardner 5hr = $10
Winn 1hr = $2
Miranda 3hr = $6
Curtis 1hr = $1
Total = $268

Mo's Humanity Revealed. Babies Weep.

The Good

I have to give it up to AJ Burnett who not having his sharpest outing still managed to limit runs and pitch a good game. 7 innings 3 runs is pretty respectable.

The Bad

While Burnett was respectable, the Yankee offense was not. Though much could be said about Texas' pitching, the Yankee offense missed some opportunities, including the 8th inning when they had Granderson at 3rd with 1 out, and could not bring him home.

The Ugly

Last night we were all faced with the humanity of Mariano Rivera. A walk and three hits led to a walk off win for the Rangers, and Mariano was left to hit the showers with a bloated 1.09 ERA, and a loss for the night. "This is a contract year." Explained Mariano. "If I don't pull it together, I don't think the Yankees will take me back. Ever."

Respect Jeter's Gangster Give to the Weeping Babies

Although the babies wept after Mariano's loss last night, there was a silver lining as A-Rod hit a homerun to tie the game early on. Since the RJG is donating $2 to the Children's Health Fund for every homerun the Yankees hit this season, that silver lining was comprised of dollar signs and healthy babies.

Posada 12hr = $24
Granderson 10hr = $20
Cano 21hr = $42
Swisher 22hr = $44
Jeter 9hr = $18
Johnson 2hr = $4
Rodriguez 18hr = $36
Teixeira 26hr = $52
Thames 3hr = $6
Gardner 5hr = $10
Winn 1hr = $2
Miranda 3hr = $6
Curtis 1hr = $1
Total = $266

Yankees Continue to Look Mediocre

The Good

Phil Hughes struggled early, but managed to turn in a solid 6 inning, 2 run outing. The Yanks are still in first place.

The Bad

The Yankees, once again, were made to look silly by a young starter for a division rival. We have the best record in baseball, but largely on the strength of what we've done against basement level teams. Does anyone feel good about a Rays series? The Yankees need to step it up. There's no reason some combination of the Red Sox and Pawtuckett should have managed to tie a four game series against us.

The Ugly

Phil Hughes took a tough loss today. Granted, if he had pitched a perfect game, this wouldn't have happened; so it's really his fault. Everyone in the clubhouse more or less felt that way, and they made sure Hughes understood how he had let the team down. Girardi has announced that Dustin Moseley will make both Pettitte's and Hughes's next start; even if they are back to back.

One Man Still Cares

Teixeira continues to mash for the children, hitting another milestone home run in the eighth.

Posada 12hr = $24
Granderson 10hr = $20
Cano 21hr = $42
Swisher 22hr = $44
Jeter 9hr = $18
Johnson 2hr = $4
Rodriguez 17hr = $34
Teixeira 26hr = $52
Thames 3hr = $6
Gardner 5hr = $10
Winn 1hr = $2
Miranda 3hr = $6
Curtis 1hr = $1
Total = $264

Tonight We Dine On Their Corpses!

The Good

The two biggest things that stand out from this weekend is the starting pitching. The Yankees rode a strong effort from CC Sabathia (8 innings, 2 runs) on Saturday winning the game 5-2. But the surprise came from Dustin Moseley last night. Filling in last minute for AJ Burnett, Moseley went 6.1 innings allowing 2 runs. He was masterful. Got lots of groundballs, struck out a few guys, and worked out of trouble when need be.

Other good highlights are that Jeter passed Ruth on the hits list last night, and Lance Berkman had a breakout 3-4 game last night. Hopefully a sign of things to come.

It was nice to kick the crap out of Beckett. In their quest to fill their roster with the most unlikable players, the Red Sox placed Kevin Youkillis, JD Drew, Papelbon, and Beckett together to form the most easily hate-triggering group in baseball. Rivaled only by the fantasy team of hate which includes Barry Bonds, Jose Canseco, John Rocker, and Kevin Brown.

The Bad

Javy had a rough game on Friday where an error by Cervelli led to a handful of unearned runs in the first inning. Javy did not have his best stuff, and his velocity appeared to be down. But Javy explained that the decreased velocity was actually just an illusion. "My pitches were just as fast as they normally are, I was just using mirrors." When asked why mirrors would make his pitches seem slower Javy responded "Its an illusion." and then stared at us. Feeling that it wasn't worth pressing we just let it go.

The Ugly

Did you see Berkman legging out the double last night? Much respect for the effort, but boy was it a hard sight to see.

Teixeira Connects for the Children

This weekend the Bronx bombers didn't exactly live up to their adopted nicknames, well, all accept Mark Teixeira who hit two homeruns this weekend. As you all know, for every homerun hit the RJG will be donating $2 to the Children's Health Fund, so thank you Mark Teixeira for thinking of the children.

Posada 12hr = $24
Granderson 10hr = $20
Cano 21hr = $42
Swisher 22hr = $44
Jeter 9hr = $18
Johnson 2hr = $4
Rodriguez 17hr = $34
Teixeira 25hr = $50
Thames 3hr = $6
Gardner 5hr = $10
Winn 1hr = $2
Miranda 3hr = $6
Curtis 1hr = $1
Total = $262

Bold Prediction

The Red Sox are coming to the Bronx for a 4 game set, and there are some interesting things to note for this series. First Kevin Youkillis looks to be out for the year with a thumb injury. Adam Dunn was claimed off waivers but I suspect it wasn't by the Red Sox. The Red Sox haven't had the healthiest of seasons, and it appears our main opponent will be the Rays. But never say never with these two teams, as a series win could shift the standings in the AL East considerably for the Red Sox, or distance the Yankees in the standings.

Now that being said, at the eve of this series, I think its appropriate to make our bold prediction, so here it is: as it is the year of the pitcher I predict Javier Vazquez throws a no-hitter tonight. Its between that and Derek Jeter's 4 homerun night, but I'm leaning towards the no-hitter. How about you? Any predictions for this weekend series? The bolder they are the better they look if they come true!

A-Rod Hits 600, Now Life Returns to Normal

The Good

The monkey is officially off A-Rod's back, as he hit his 600th career homerun in yesterdays game. It was just a matter of time, but that time was starting to get long and tedious. And then I realized that A-Rod was doing baseball a favor. By delaying his milestone, he ensured packed stadiums across the country. In fact, it was selfish of him to hit it this early. He should have waited until September at least. Bud Selig must be pissed.

Phil Hughes pitched 5.1 innings only allowing 1 run, and Derek Jeter, remembering that he's in a contract year, went 4-4 with 2 doubles. Mariano, also in a walk year, has a 0.91 ERA.

The Bad

Fat Elvis is an inaccurate nickname for Lance Berkman. Elvis was a better hitter.

The Ugly

I'm watching Saturday's Yankees vs. Red Sox game in a bar in Boston. Should be an experience.

A-Rod Loves the Babies Too

Overwhelmed by the daunting task of reaching his milestone, A-Rod was buckling. But yesterday, he saw the little babies and he remembered that for every homerun he hits, the RJG donates $2 to the Children's Health Fund. Filled with a renewed sense of ambition, A-Rod hit his milestone homerun and allowed money to be given to the babies. We applaud his bravery.

Posada 12hr = $24
Granderson 10hr = $20
Cano 21hr = $42
Swisher 22hr = $44
Jeter 9hr = $18
Johnson 2hr = $4
Rodriguez 17hr = $34
Teixeira 23hr = $46
Thames 3hr = $6
Gardner 5hr = $10
Winn 1hr = $2
Miranda 3hr = $6
Curtis 1hr = $1
Total = $258

Blog Raffle Winner!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It is with great pleasure that I get to announce the winner of the Respect Jeter's Gangster and Children's Health Fund raffle. Congratulations to Matt Tanck from Hicksville, New York, who is the winner of two tickets to the Saturday game between the Yankees and Red Sox! While the rest of us are watching the game from our homes like animals, you will be enjoying the action from the stadium just like Derek Jeter! So cheer extra loud for us!

I would like to also take this moment and thank everyone who donated to the Children's Health Fund. I recognize that its not always easy to free up the funds to give so I'm very appreciative that there were people able to do that.

Lastly, many thanks to the Children's Health Fund for setting this up. We hope our donations, and the money raised through this raffle will be of great help to the wonderful work that you do.

Toronto Embarrasses Yankees

The Good

The cap on the underwater oil spill appears to still be holding.

The Bad

2 hits. That was all the Yankees were able to come up with last night as Toronto starter Ricky Romero pitched a complete game of dominating baseball.

The Ugly

Moseley pitched 7.1 innings, and I'm grateful that we didn't have to burn out the bullpen, especially with a Red Sox series coming up. But, his 5 runs, along with Wood and Mitre's additional 3 runs simply won't cut it. As Tampa takes the lead in the division, its time for the Yankees to hunker down and figure out why they didn't bring in a starting pitcher at the trade deadline.

Not All Was Lost

Despite a weak night at the plate, Mark Teixeira managed to hit a homerun for the children.

Posada 12hr = $24
Granderson 10hr = $20
Cano 21hr = $42
Swisher 22hr = $44
Jeter 9hr = $18
Johnson 2hr = $4
Rodriguez 15hr = $30
Teixeira 23hr = $46
Thames 3hr = $6
Gardner 5hr = $10
Winn 1hr = $2
Miranda 3hr = $6
Curtis 1hr = $1
Total = $254

Burnett's Powers Stolen By Evil Enchantress

The Good

I was delightfully surprised by our bullpen. Mitre-Robertson-Logan-Chamberlain combined for 4.1 scoreless innings with 5 strikeouts. Also good, Swisher hit two homeruns.

The Bad

An 0-5 night has pretty much solidified the fact that 600 is in A-Rod's head.

The Ugly

This ones easy. AJ Burnett was back to his crazy antics, giving up 8 runs in 4.2 innings. He was a little wild early in the game, but he didn't really get hurt until the 5th when an evil enchantress, previously scorned by Burnett, cast a spell on him to steal his abilities. The result was 7 runs attributed to Burnett in that one inning. "I will find this evil enchantress." Explained Burnett after the game. "And when I do, I will twice scorn her, and steal my powers back!"

The Babies Get Their Medicine

The Yankees hit 3 homeruns last night, 2 from Swisher and 1 from Teixeira, all of which provide extra medicine for the babies.

Posada 12hr = $24
Granderson 10hr = $20
Cano 21hr = $42
Swisher 22hr = $44
Jeter 9hr = $18
Johnson 2hr = $4
Rodriguez 15hr = $30
Teixeira 22hr = $44
Thames 3hr = $6
Gardner 5hr = $10
Winn 1hr = $2
Miranda 3hr = $6
Curtis 1hr = $1
Total = $252

But Do They Make Us Better?

Recently, the Yankees traded for three new players, none of which were a starting pitcher, and many have been wondering whether these moves make our team better. To answer this question, we will have to look at the players individually to see what they bring. We'll begin with Austin Kearns:

Austin Kearns

Kearns started out with the Cincinnati Reds and showed a lot of promise over there before being traded to the Washington Nationals along with Felipe Lopez. It was in Washington that he was involved in a freak outfield collision with first baseman and current DL case Nick Johnson, which broke Nick's femur. The start of many DL stints for the man. Anyways, Kearns brings us a solid right handed bat, which the Yankees envision using against left handed pitchers. He's also a 4th outfielder, who can give the regulars a day off every now and again. He's not a power hitter, but will give good at bats and some occasional pop. Is he an upgrade over Marcus Thames? I'm not so convinced that Kearns is a better bat, but he should serve as a defensive upgrade over Thames. At the price we got him (a player to be named later if I'm not mistaken), I suppose it serves to give us depth.

Lance Berkman

This was an interesting pick up because as a 10+ year veteran, Berkman has never played for any team but the Houston Astro's. This is the first time he will be DHing, and I think he may have a rough time. Not all players take to DHing regularly well, and Berkman has to not only do that, but do so while adjusting to a different league. As a veteran, I think he'll be able to do it, but I wouldn't be surprised if it took him some time to hit his stride. This is a player who walks a lot, and hits for power, so he's the perfect DH. Seeing as Nick Johnson is on the DL, and will likely not be back, I think Berkman was a solid pick up. A switch hitter who could occasionally play the field and stay healthy is a much preferred upgrade to Johnson.

Kerry Wood

I was happy that we got to see him pitch last night, as I was unsure of what to expect. He had some life on his fastball, and he struck out 3 batters in his inning worth of work. He also loaded the bases in that time and got bailed out by Chad Gaudin. Regardless, we've needed bullpen help and that 8th inning setup role has not been solidified. I think if all Wood accomplishes is getting Chan Ho Park designated, then he's done enough, but Wood should be able to do considerably more. If only to add a new arm to a stagnant bullpen mix, I think Wood is an improvement.

So do these moves make us better? I suppose they don't hurt us, but I don't think they give us much of an edge either. Berkman gives us a DH, but we've been without a DH for months now and it hasn't seemed to effect us. Kearns gives us a 4th outfielder type to bat against lefties, but we already had one of those. Wood adds an arm to a bullpen which has been considerably awful, and so should be helpful in that regard. What do you all think?

Rays Recap

The Good

Game 2. The Yankee bats got hot, and Teixeira, Swisher, and Cano all hit homeruns to put the Yankees ahead and win the game. Javy wasn't great, but 4 runs across 6.1 innings isn't terrible either.

The Bad

Game 1. Yankee bats were cold. Freezing. Just 4 hits. Hughes had a great game going but he made one mistake, which can't fully be considered a mistake. The pitch was up and in on Matt Joyce and he somehow managed to get enough lift on it to knock it out of the park. That pitch was at best a foul off pitch. Matt Joyce had to defy the laws of the natural world to put his matrix like swing on that pitch. It wasn't a bad pitch. However, it was a bad pitch in the sense that it wasn't where Posada asked for that pitch to be. So basically, Hughes missed his spot, he missed in a good place, but Matt Joyce is a ninja so it didn't matter.

The Ugly

Game 3. This game was humbling. It wasn't just that we scored no runs, it was how easily James Shield made pitching to our lineup look. He struck out eleven batters. Eleven! And some of those strikeouts made us look silly. Changeups tend to do that.

Respect Jeter's Gangster and the Children

4 homeruns this weekend, none of them reaching a milestone an exclusive milestone. But many thanks to Cano, Swisher (x2), and Teixeira for their homeruns! The children are ever grateful.

Posada 12hr = $24
Granderson 10hr = $20
Cano 21hr = $42
Swisher 20hr = $40
Jeter 9hr = $18
Johnson 2hr = $4
Rodriguez 15hr = $30
Teixeira 21hr = $42
Thames 3hr = $6
Gardner 5hr = $10
Winn 1hr = $2
Miranda 3hr = $6
Curtis 1hr = $1
Total = $240