Thursday, December 2, 2010

Jeter and Yankees Find Common Ground

The Yankees and Derek Jeter met recently to find some common grounds before moving forward in negotiations. The negotiations thus far have been less than stellar, with much of it carrying out publically like a bar brawl, that gets taken outside through the shattered window left broken from the bar stool that struck it moments before. But Jeter stepped forward, and as classy as ever, set up this meeting to establish common ground.

"I really appreciated the talk." Explained Yankees General Manager Brian Cashman. "We were able to find some common ground, and we feel confidant that we can now move forward."

What was the common ground they reached?

"Well we first agreed that the new Star Wars trilogy sucked, and that the originals were great, classics even. Once we were able to find this common bond, we were able to also agree that Jar Jar Binks ruined the first movie, and that the love story between Padme and Anakin had to have been written by a middle-aged guy who's never talked to a woman, at least not substantially. We came to some disagreement when we wanted to hold that the third of the recent trilogy was at least as good as Empire Strikes Back, but Jeter pointed out the poor dialogue and Darth Vader yelling 'Nooooooo!' at the end was more comical than dramatic. We had to concede this point. Then we agreed on how weird it was that Anakin was like 5 in the first movie while Padme was like 18, then in the second movie they're both the same age give or take a couple years. What was that all about?"

Did they find common ground else where?

"Oh yeah, we also agreed that Greedo doesn't shoot first. He doesn't shoot first! He doesn't (expletive deleted) shoot first!!"

We all agree.

No comments: