Saturday, February 7, 2009
Damn!
You've probably already heard, but Sports Illustrated is reporting that A-Rod tested positive for steroids in 2003, under a survey program that set the stage for MLB's current testing program. I guess when it rains it pours in Yankee land. First Clemens, then Pettitte, now A-Rod? Granted, A-Rod was with the Rangers that year and he has won two MVPs since testing was instituted (not to mention a 50 homerun season), but still. This is pretty damaging. I'm sure I'll be making fun of A-Rod in a few posts from now, but this one hurts. Especially since A-Rod has been a target for all Yankee-haters who love to talk about how we moved away from developing players and just overpaying for free agents. Now he's drug-enhanced. Not cool A-Rod. Not cool.
Friday, February 6, 2009
Jane Heller: Confessions of a She-Fan
As our feature interview, this post will remain at the top of our page for the rest of the week. Scroll below this post to view our new posts. Keep it gangster!
It is with great pleasure that we at the Respect Jeter's Gangster blog present our first interview of 2009 with author Jane Heller. Jane is set to release her first Yankees-related book Confessions of a She-Fan: The Course of True Love with the New York Yankees on Tuesday, February 3.
As a New York Times bestseller, Jane has written several romantic comedies, but with this project Jane turns her attention to her true love, the New York Yankees. Jane had sent us a copy of the book in advance, and the book is fantastic! The story itself is funny and brings back to life the 2007 season with all its difficulties and eventual victories. The best part is that it is written from the perspective of the fan. Its easy to relate to the emotions described in the book, from anger and sadness, to absolute joy. Its what a New York baseball season is all about.
Besides writing books, Jane maintains the Confessions of a She-Fan blog. Always witty, and full of baseball talk, we recommend you add this site as one of your daily stops in Yankee blog land.
And without further delay, here is our exclusive interview with Jane Heller:
1) You were a successful author before this book project, writing mainly romantic comedies. What made you want to switch to a sports-related, first person narrative like "Confessions of a She-Fan"?
I had written 13 novels in 13 years and was sort of burned out. I was dying for something different to write. I’d always been a passionate Yankee fan and watched every game on TV. When they had that miserable first half in ‘07, I was flipping out. So I wrote about that – how I wanted to divorce the Yankees for betraying me – and sent the piece to the New York Times. That led to the She-Fan book and a dream project for me.
2) One of the anecdotes in your book is about how you once got a date with Ruben Amaro, who played shortstop for the Yankees. If you had to go on a date with a current Yankee player, who would it be and why?
(Editor's Note: The correct answer is Derek Jeter)
LOL on your correct answer. But I have to say that I’d pick Mo. I LOVE Mo. He’s a little young for me, but look at A-Rod and Madonna? Mo’s my favorite Yankee because he’s an amazing pitcher, a great competitor and a classy guy. Oh, and have you checked out his eyes? They’re gorgeous.
3) The book began as part of a piece you wrote in the New York Times early in the 2007 season about divorcing the Yankees for mental cruelty. What were your feelings about the 2008 season?
The 2008 season was depressing, but I’d gotten all that divorce stuff out of my system in ‘07 and was much more rational about ‘08. I didn’t let it bother me the way I used to let every single loss ruin my days and nights. I had really, really wanted us to get Santana and I wasn’t all that shocked when Hughes and Kennedy didn’t pan out or when Rasner and Ponson didn’t go 10-0 like Aaron Small. Without pitching, we didn’t have a chance.
4) Picture for a moment that you were a Pirates fan, would you skip the divorce and go straight to murder?
Yeah, I’d go straight to murder. On the other hand, they haven’t raised their ticket prices in years. If you’re a Pirates fan, you can actually afford to go to games.
5) How many times in your book, do you refer to A-Rod as A-Fraud?
Never. A-Rod is a great player who’s got “issues.” He hit over 50 home runs and over 150 RBIs in ‘07 and, in large part, was responsible for the team getting into the playoffs that year. I expect another MVP season in ‘09. And by the way, he’s not the only player to ask a clubhouse attendant to do personal favors for him. They ALL do it. I’m not happy with Torre for putting that little gem in his book.
6) How do you feel the baseball public responds to female baseball fans, particularly ones who are knowledgeable and passionate about their team and the game?
My own experience is that guys are amazed that we actually know what we’re talking about. They think women are all about having a crush on Jeter. Some of us have been watching baseball for years and have earned our fandom. That said, don’t ask me about stats. My eyes glaze over when you guys start talking about percentages. Most women fans I show aren’t into sybermetrics or whatever it’s called. :)
7) You mention several unpleasant run-ins with Yankee Stadium security. Do you think the Yankees look for sociopathic malcontents, or power hungry napoleon complex types when hiring security?
I think they look for escaped convicts from prisons around the country – the kind that eat other inmates.
8) Of all the stadiums you visited, which one outside of Yankee Stadium was your favorite and why?
Camden Yards. It’s a beautiful park. It’s very Yankee-fan friendly. And Boog’s Barbecue has the best pit turkey platter I’ve ever had. The only bad experience I had there was when a guy barfed a few rows back from me. Bad, bad smell.
9) How would you define the perfect fan?
The perfect fan lives and dies by his/her team but doesn’t have to remind everybody every six seconds. I’m still learning how to be that fan. I’m also learning how to stop letting Yankee haters get to me. The minute I hear, “You choked in ‘04” or “You think you can buy a championship” or “Yankee suck,” I want to grab a sharp object and do harm. I need to get a grip.
10) As an experienced author, what advice would you give to amateur writers trying to get their work published?
Get a copy of “Writer’s Market.” It’s a reference book that’s available at libraries and bookstores. It lists all literary agents and tells you how to make submissions to them. Agents are key to getting published. So you just have to go through the list (it gives each agent’s specialties and interests) and send them your work. Tedious but worth it in the end.
11) On your blog, there have been mentions of a possible "Confessions of a She-Fan" movie. Where does this stand, and who will you get to play the Respect Jeter's Gangster's authors?
I have an agent in LA who handles all the movie rights to my books. Eight of the books have sold to Hollywood, so she’s been very successful. What we’re hearing from producers who’ve read the She-Fan book is, “Oh, but will a baseball movie sell overseas?” I remind my agent that baseball is big in Japan. She says, “Yeah, but it’s not like it’s ‘Dark Knight.’” She has a point. We’re trying to interest Penny Marshall in directing the movie, since she’s a Yankee fan and directed ‘A League of Their Own.’ But no news to report.
12) What kind of promotional events are you planning for the book? Any book tours?
I’m having a big launch party here in Santa Barbara on February 28th. Free beer and plenty of food and appearances by the Santa Barbara Foresters (independent league) and Tab Hunter, the movie star who played the lead in “Damn Yankees” years ago. If anybody reading this lives in CA, please come! I’m also going to Tampa for spring training. I’m signing at the Barnes & Noble Carrollwood store near Steinbrenner Field on Friday, March 6th at 1 pm and then will be at the game against the Tigers that night. Very excited. The national and NY publicity will happen in late March and April. Joe Torre stole my thunder, so we’re waiting until that story is over. I can’t believe his book and mine are being published on the exact same day! Oh, well. He’ll lose this battle. He may be doing Larry King and Letterman, but I’m doing Respect Jeter’s Gangster. Ha ha, Joe. The fans will have the last word!
13) You've now written several op-eds for the NY Times. Why do you suppose the NY Times won't publish our op-eds?
Maybe they’re not looking for articles about dinosaurs, but I could be wrong.
14) You have a very popular blog at http://janeheller.mlblogs.com/. How many times a day do you frequent the Respect Jeter's Gangster blog, and why is it your favorite site?
I’m on your blog every day – usually twice a day. I love the fact that it’s got the latest news (if there is any – this has been a SLOW period for bloggers), plus it takes a funny, lighthearted look at what’s going on. Some fans have no sense of humor. You guys are hilarious. The Bronny Cash phone calls are the best.
15) Lastly, what do you respect most about Jeter's gangster?
I respect everything about Jeter. The way he plays the game. The way he treats the media and the fans. The way he manages to stay humble (or at least seem that way). If the Yankees were high school, he’d win Most Likely to Succeed.
There you have it! Jane loves her Yankees and loves the RJG. On a side note, New York times will change their dinosaur policy, or we will change it for them!
We would like to thank Jane for taking the time to answer all our questions. If you would like more details about the book, check out Jane's official website at http://www.janeheller.com/. The book is out in stores tomorrow, so pick up your copy! Thanks once again Jane!
It is with great pleasure that we at the Respect Jeter's Gangster blog present our first interview of 2009 with author Jane Heller. Jane is set to release her first Yankees-related book Confessions of a She-Fan: The Course of True Love with the New York Yankees on Tuesday, February 3.
As a New York Times bestseller, Jane has written several romantic comedies, but with this project Jane turns her attention to her true love, the New York Yankees. Jane had sent us a copy of the book in advance, and the book is fantastic! The story itself is funny and brings back to life the 2007 season with all its difficulties and eventual victories. The best part is that it is written from the perspective of the fan. Its easy to relate to the emotions described in the book, from anger and sadness, to absolute joy. Its what a New York baseball season is all about.
Besides writing books, Jane maintains the Confessions of a She-Fan blog. Always witty, and full of baseball talk, we recommend you add this site as one of your daily stops in Yankee blog land.
And without further delay, here is our exclusive interview with Jane Heller:
1) You were a successful author before this book project, writing mainly romantic comedies. What made you want to switch to a sports-related, first person narrative like "Confessions of a She-Fan"?
I had written 13 novels in 13 years and was sort of burned out. I was dying for something different to write. I’d always been a passionate Yankee fan and watched every game on TV. When they had that miserable first half in ‘07, I was flipping out. So I wrote about that – how I wanted to divorce the Yankees for betraying me – and sent the piece to the New York Times. That led to the She-Fan book and a dream project for me.
2) One of the anecdotes in your book is about how you once got a date with Ruben Amaro, who played shortstop for the Yankees. If you had to go on a date with a current Yankee player, who would it be and why?
(Editor's Note: The correct answer is Derek Jeter)
LOL on your correct answer. But I have to say that I’d pick Mo. I LOVE Mo. He’s a little young for me, but look at A-Rod and Madonna? Mo’s my favorite Yankee because he’s an amazing pitcher, a great competitor and a classy guy. Oh, and have you checked out his eyes? They’re gorgeous.
3) The book began as part of a piece you wrote in the New York Times early in the 2007 season about divorcing the Yankees for mental cruelty. What were your feelings about the 2008 season?
The 2008 season was depressing, but I’d gotten all that divorce stuff out of my system in ‘07 and was much more rational about ‘08. I didn’t let it bother me the way I used to let every single loss ruin my days and nights. I had really, really wanted us to get Santana and I wasn’t all that shocked when Hughes and Kennedy didn’t pan out or when Rasner and Ponson didn’t go 10-0 like Aaron Small. Without pitching, we didn’t have a chance.
4) Picture for a moment that you were a Pirates fan, would you skip the divorce and go straight to murder?
Yeah, I’d go straight to murder. On the other hand, they haven’t raised their ticket prices in years. If you’re a Pirates fan, you can actually afford to go to games.
5) How many times in your book, do you refer to A-Rod as A-Fraud?
Never. A-Rod is a great player who’s got “issues.” He hit over 50 home runs and over 150 RBIs in ‘07 and, in large part, was responsible for the team getting into the playoffs that year. I expect another MVP season in ‘09. And by the way, he’s not the only player to ask a clubhouse attendant to do personal favors for him. They ALL do it. I’m not happy with Torre for putting that little gem in his book.
6) How do you feel the baseball public responds to female baseball fans, particularly ones who are knowledgeable and passionate about their team and the game?
My own experience is that guys are amazed that we actually know what we’re talking about. They think women are all about having a crush on Jeter. Some of us have been watching baseball for years and have earned our fandom. That said, don’t ask me about stats. My eyes glaze over when you guys start talking about percentages. Most women fans I show aren’t into sybermetrics or whatever it’s called. :)
7) You mention several unpleasant run-ins with Yankee Stadium security. Do you think the Yankees look for sociopathic malcontents, or power hungry napoleon complex types when hiring security?
I think they look for escaped convicts from prisons around the country – the kind that eat other inmates.
8) Of all the stadiums you visited, which one outside of Yankee Stadium was your favorite and why?
Camden Yards. It’s a beautiful park. It’s very Yankee-fan friendly. And Boog’s Barbecue has the best pit turkey platter I’ve ever had. The only bad experience I had there was when a guy barfed a few rows back from me. Bad, bad smell.
9) How would you define the perfect fan?
The perfect fan lives and dies by his/her team but doesn’t have to remind everybody every six seconds. I’m still learning how to be that fan. I’m also learning how to stop letting Yankee haters get to me. The minute I hear, “You choked in ‘04” or “You think you can buy a championship” or “Yankee suck,” I want to grab a sharp object and do harm. I need to get a grip.
10) As an experienced author, what advice would you give to amateur writers trying to get their work published?
Get a copy of “Writer’s Market.” It’s a reference book that’s available at libraries and bookstores. It lists all literary agents and tells you how to make submissions to them. Agents are key to getting published. So you just have to go through the list (it gives each agent’s specialties and interests) and send them your work. Tedious but worth it in the end.
11) On your blog, there have been mentions of a possible "Confessions of a She-Fan" movie. Where does this stand, and who will you get to play the Respect Jeter's Gangster's authors?
I have an agent in LA who handles all the movie rights to my books. Eight of the books have sold to Hollywood, so she’s been very successful. What we’re hearing from producers who’ve read the She-Fan book is, “Oh, but will a baseball movie sell overseas?” I remind my agent that baseball is big in Japan. She says, “Yeah, but it’s not like it’s ‘Dark Knight.’” She has a point. We’re trying to interest Penny Marshall in directing the movie, since she’s a Yankee fan and directed ‘A League of Their Own.’ But no news to report.
12) What kind of promotional events are you planning for the book? Any book tours?
I’m having a big launch party here in Santa Barbara on February 28th. Free beer and plenty of food and appearances by the Santa Barbara Foresters (independent league) and Tab Hunter, the movie star who played the lead in “Damn Yankees” years ago. If anybody reading this lives in CA, please come! I’m also going to Tampa for spring training. I’m signing at the Barnes & Noble Carrollwood store near Steinbrenner Field on Friday, March 6th at 1 pm and then will be at the game against the Tigers that night. Very excited. The national and NY publicity will happen in late March and April. Joe Torre stole my thunder, so we’re waiting until that story is over. I can’t believe his book and mine are being published on the exact same day! Oh, well. He’ll lose this battle. He may be doing Larry King and Letterman, but I’m doing Respect Jeter’s Gangster. Ha ha, Joe. The fans will have the last word!
13) You've now written several op-eds for the NY Times. Why do you suppose the NY Times won't publish our op-eds?
Maybe they’re not looking for articles about dinosaurs, but I could be wrong.
14) You have a very popular blog at http://janeheller.mlblogs.com/. How many times a day do you frequent the Respect Jeter's Gangster blog, and why is it your favorite site?
I’m on your blog every day – usually twice a day. I love the fact that it’s got the latest news (if there is any – this has been a SLOW period for bloggers), plus it takes a funny, lighthearted look at what’s going on. Some fans have no sense of humor. You guys are hilarious. The Bronny Cash phone calls are the best.
15) Lastly, what do you respect most about Jeter's gangster?
I respect everything about Jeter. The way he plays the game. The way he treats the media and the fans. The way he manages to stay humble (or at least seem that way). If the Yankees were high school, he’d win Most Likely to Succeed.
There you have it! Jane loves her Yankees and loves the RJG. On a side note, New York times will change their dinosaur policy, or we will change it for them!
We would like to thank Jane for taking the time to answer all our questions. If you would like more details about the book, check out Jane's official website at http://www.janeheller.com/. The book is out in stores tomorrow, so pick up your copy! Thanks once again Jane!
7 Days, 7 Players: Phil Coke
Everyday until spring training begins the "Respect Jeter's Gangster" blog will review one player from the Yankees roster. We will review a total of 25 players, the 25 we believe will be on the active roster after spring training. Our reviews are all edited by Carl Pavano himself to insure they're up to the stringent "Pavano Tough" standards.
Phil Coke made his major league debut as a reliever last season, despite being a starter in the minors, and he readily impressed. Although he only pitched 14.2 innings in 12 appearances, he gave up just one run in that time. Coke was asked to prepare as a starter for next season, but it is unclear whether the Yankees plan to have him continue his development in Scranton, or include him on the roster as a left handed reliever. I lean towards his inclusion as a left handed reliever if only because he was so effective last season, and Marte was decidedly not.
My Fearless Prediction:
Coke will begin the season on the big league roster but eventually find himself starting in Scranton. They will want him to start since lefty starters are such valuable commodities, and he may not have that opportunity this season with both Aceves and Hughes waiting for a starting gig.
Little Known Coke Fact:
Phil Coke once threw a bat at an umpire and got suspended for 50 games, but what is not known is that at the moment Coke threw the bat, there was a swarm of killer bees swooping down on the umpire, and Coke was really just saving his life. Despite video and radar recordings that proved there was a swarm of killer bees, the arbitration board decided against Coke's appeal on the grounds that bat throwing is never appropriate, even when saving a life. The proper procedure is to file a complaint against the swarming killer bees, CC Donald Fehr, Bud Selig, and the New York Yankees on the appeal, write a petition to your local congressman, ask for the unions legal representation, get George Mitchell to begin an investigation on the matter, and then release the report naming everyone involved and requesting that Major League Baseball adopt more stringent killer bee policies to avoid future complications in the matter.
Phil Coke made his major league debut as a reliever last season, despite being a starter in the minors, and he readily impressed. Although he only pitched 14.2 innings in 12 appearances, he gave up just one run in that time. Coke was asked to prepare as a starter for next season, but it is unclear whether the Yankees plan to have him continue his development in Scranton, or include him on the roster as a left handed reliever. I lean towards his inclusion as a left handed reliever if only because he was so effective last season, and Marte was decidedly not.
My Fearless Prediction:
Coke will begin the season on the big league roster but eventually find himself starting in Scranton. They will want him to start since lefty starters are such valuable commodities, and he may not have that opportunity this season with both Aceves and Hughes waiting for a starting gig.
Little Known Coke Fact:
Phil Coke once threw a bat at an umpire and got suspended for 50 games, but what is not known is that at the moment Coke threw the bat, there was a swarm of killer bees swooping down on the umpire, and Coke was really just saving his life. Despite video and radar recordings that proved there was a swarm of killer bees, the arbitration board decided against Coke's appeal on the grounds that bat throwing is never appropriate, even when saving a life. The proper procedure is to file a complaint against the swarming killer bees, CC Donald Fehr, Bud Selig, and the New York Yankees on the appeal, write a petition to your local congressman, ask for the unions legal representation, get George Mitchell to begin an investigation on the matter, and then release the report naming everyone involved and requesting that Major League Baseball adopt more stringent killer bee policies to avoid future complications in the matter.
Thursday, February 5, 2009
8 Days, 8 Players: Chien Ming Wang
Everyday until spring training begins the "Respect Jeter's Gangster" blog will review one player from the Yankees roster. We will review a total of 25 players, the 25 we believe will be on the active roster after spring training. Our reviews are all edited by Carl Pavano himself to insure they're up to the stringent "Pavano Tough" standards.
Chien Ming Wang has undoubtedly been the ace of the Yankees over the last few seasons, despite peoples feelings against his lack of strikeout power. Wang, had put up back-to-back 19 win seasons, but fell short in 2008 due to a freak injury during a game with the Astro's where his foot exploded. Wang left that game after going 5 innings and not allowing a run, thus securing the win in his last outing. Last season was generally shaky, but was beginning to improve for Wang before he was injured. Wang cruised through April, and even pitched a complete game victory over the Red Sox allowing just one run. His very next start, also against the Red Sox, amounted to 4 innings and 8 runs. Wang recovered however and gave one quality start after another until mid-May when he reached a difficult stretch. In 4 starts, Wang lasted 23.2 innings and gave up 23 runs. He recovered with a great game against the A's going 7.1 innings and allowing 1 run, and was on his way to a great game against the Astro's until the foot injury. So now, Wang is entering the 2009 season recovering from his second major injury since being in pinstripes. Let's not forget his 2005 rotator cuff injury. In any event, the big question is how he will show up to spring training, and how quickly will he get ready for the season. After all, he threw off a mound for the first time earlier this week, which can be a little concerning given that spring training is just 8 days away.
My Fearless Prediction:
I'll sign Wang up for another 200 innings and 19 wins next season. Maybe even 20 if the offense shows up.
Little Known Wang Fact:
Wang discovered the sinker after tinkering with a new pitch called the torpedo. After killing or maiming 4 of his teammates, Wang decided to give up the torpedo for the less dramatic sinker.
Chien Ming Wang has undoubtedly been the ace of the Yankees over the last few seasons, despite peoples feelings against his lack of strikeout power. Wang, had put up back-to-back 19 win seasons, but fell short in 2008 due to a freak injury during a game with the Astro's where his foot exploded. Wang left that game after going 5 innings and not allowing a run, thus securing the win in his last outing. Last season was generally shaky, but was beginning to improve for Wang before he was injured. Wang cruised through April, and even pitched a complete game victory over the Red Sox allowing just one run. His very next start, also against the Red Sox, amounted to 4 innings and 8 runs. Wang recovered however and gave one quality start after another until mid-May when he reached a difficult stretch. In 4 starts, Wang lasted 23.2 innings and gave up 23 runs. He recovered with a great game against the A's going 7.1 innings and allowing 1 run, and was on his way to a great game against the Astro's until the foot injury. So now, Wang is entering the 2009 season recovering from his second major injury since being in pinstripes. Let's not forget his 2005 rotator cuff injury. In any event, the big question is how he will show up to spring training, and how quickly will he get ready for the season. After all, he threw off a mound for the first time earlier this week, which can be a little concerning given that spring training is just 8 days away.
My Fearless Prediction:
I'll sign Wang up for another 200 innings and 19 wins next season. Maybe even 20 if the offense shows up.
Little Known Wang Fact:
Wang discovered the sinker after tinkering with a new pitch called the torpedo. After killing or maiming 4 of his teammates, Wang decided to give up the torpedo for the less dramatic sinker.
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
In Honor of Our Interviewee, We Present: Bronny Cash
It's been a while since we called our good friend and mentor Brian Cashman, or maybe it hasn't, I haven't really been paying attention. Anyway, we decided that, in honor of our interviewee, we would give him a call regarding all things Yankees. Please find the transcript below. Seriously. Find it. It's literally the next line. Stop emailing and asking where the transcript starts, it's not that hard. Seriously.
[Dialing]
BC: Hello?
RJG: [singing in a low voice] I shot a man in Reno, just to watch him die...
BC: [sigh]
RJG: [still singing] and when I hear that whistle blowing, I hang my head and Broooooooooooooooooooonny Caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaash! What's up Bronny, why the long face?
BC: You got my satellite video phone number again.
RJG: Yeah, you suck at hiding things. Seriously. So we're just calling because Jane Heller, you know Jane, she wrote a tell all book about how much you guys suck, you sucked last year Cash!
BC: Jane didn't write a book about how we sucked last year. She wrote about 2007.
RJG: Well, anyway, she refers to you as A-Fraud throughout so...
BC: No, she doesn't.
RJG: That's not really the point Bronny, she likes it when we call you so we're calling you in honor of her.
BC: But, I don't like it when you call me.
RJG: It's not all about you Bronny.
[click]
[high pitched beeping, ringing on other line]
BC: Hello?
RJG: Brooooooooooooooooooooooonny Caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaash!
BC: How do you keep getting my number?
RJG: Let's just say you should spend less time at the office. But enough about me, when are you going trade one of our seven outfielders and sign Manny?
BC: We're not interested in Manny.
RJG: Look, if I wanted to hear that I would've called Omar so give me a real answer.
BC: Could you please call Omar?
RJG: No. I don't have his number.
BC: I'll give it you right now, it's...
RJG: LA LA LA LA LA LA LA I CAN'T HEAR YOU LA LA LA LA LA LA JUST ANSWER MY QUESTION ALREADY.
BC: Look, we're not interested. Two GMs can both not be interested in Manny.
RJG: Are you saying you're colluding with Omar Minaya? Is this what collusion looks like? I knew it!
[click]
There you have it folks. Brian Cashman refuses to trade one of our 7 outfielders because he is colluding with Omar Minaya to keep Manny Ramirez out of baseball. You heard it here first.
[Dialing]
BC: Hello?
RJG: [singing in a low voice] I shot a man in Reno, just to watch him die...
BC: [sigh]
RJG: [still singing] and when I hear that whistle blowing, I hang my head and Broooooooooooooooooooonny Caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaash! What's up Bronny, why the long face?
BC: You got my satellite video phone number again.
RJG: Yeah, you suck at hiding things. Seriously. So we're just calling because Jane Heller, you know Jane, she wrote a tell all book about how much you guys suck, you sucked last year Cash!
BC: Jane didn't write a book about how we sucked last year. She wrote about 2007.
RJG: Well, anyway, she refers to you as A-Fraud throughout so...
BC: No, she doesn't.
RJG: That's not really the point Bronny, she likes it when we call you so we're calling you in honor of her.
BC: But, I don't like it when you call me.
RJG: It's not all about you Bronny.
[click]
[high pitched beeping, ringing on other line]
BC: Hello?
RJG: Brooooooooooooooooooooooonny Caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaash!
BC: How do you keep getting my number?
RJG: Let's just say you should spend less time at the office. But enough about me, when are you going trade one of our seven outfielders and sign Manny?
BC: We're not interested in Manny.
RJG: Look, if I wanted to hear that I would've called Omar so give me a real answer.
BC: Could you please call Omar?
RJG: No. I don't have his number.
BC: I'll give it you right now, it's...
RJG: LA LA LA LA LA LA LA I CAN'T HEAR YOU LA LA LA LA LA LA JUST ANSWER MY QUESTION ALREADY.
BC: Look, we're not interested. Two GMs can both not be interested in Manny.
RJG: Are you saying you're colluding with Omar Minaya? Is this what collusion looks like? I knew it!
[click]
There you have it folks. Brian Cashman refuses to trade one of our 7 outfielders because he is colluding with Omar Minaya to keep Manny Ramirez out of baseball. You heard it here first.
9 Days, 9 Players: Edwar Ramirez
Everyday until spring training begins the "Respect Jeter's Gangster" blog will review one player from the Yankees roster. We will review a total of 25 players, the 25 we believe will be on the active roster after spring training. Our reviews are all edited by Carl Pavano himself to insure they're up to the stringent "Pavano Tough" standards.
Edwar Ramirez provides a curious case for the Yankees. Anyone whose watched the Yankees last season knows how amazing his changeup can be, and yet how hard he can get hit. His fastball sits around 90 mph, with a changeup that has fooled hitters on more than one occasion. Last season Ramirez went 5-1 with a 3.90 ERA and 63 strikeouts in 55.1 innings. Those aren't bad numbers for a middle reliever, especially the more than 1 strikeout per inning he posted, but many think he is better than he shows. This could be the case. In his first 14 outings of last season, which amounted to 16 innings, Ramirez gave up 1 run. He also went the entire month of July without giving up a single hit. That's 11.1 innings of scoreless, hitless baseball. However, June, August and September proved to be difficult for Ramirez who posted ERA's of 7.36, 6.94, and 8.44 in those months. However, his issue is the big inning. In August for example, he gave up 9 runs in 11.2 innings, but 8 of those runs came in two outings. 11 of his August appearances were scoreless, and what hurt him in the other 3 were the long ball. If he can learn to limit damage he could be really effective. The measure of a middle reliever is how often they can carry the ball to the next pitcher without allowing any runs. In this Ramirez has succeeded more often than not. In 55 appearances last season, 45 of them were scoreless outings. That isn't to say they were all clean outings, but they were scoreless. In the remaining 10 outings, Ramirez allowed a total of 24 runs. Ouch.
My Fearless Prediction:
Ramirez harnesses the energy of his changeup, and complements it with better placement of his fastball effectively allowing him to have a monster year where he posts an ERA in the mid-2's, and strikes out Jason Varitek every time he faces him.
Little Known Ramirez Fact:
Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory is loosely based on Edwar Ramirez's life.
Edwar Ramirez provides a curious case for the Yankees. Anyone whose watched the Yankees last season knows how amazing his changeup can be, and yet how hard he can get hit. His fastball sits around 90 mph, with a changeup that has fooled hitters on more than one occasion. Last season Ramirez went 5-1 with a 3.90 ERA and 63 strikeouts in 55.1 innings. Those aren't bad numbers for a middle reliever, especially the more than 1 strikeout per inning he posted, but many think he is better than he shows. This could be the case. In his first 14 outings of last season, which amounted to 16 innings, Ramirez gave up 1 run. He also went the entire month of July without giving up a single hit. That's 11.1 innings of scoreless, hitless baseball. However, June, August and September proved to be difficult for Ramirez who posted ERA's of 7.36, 6.94, and 8.44 in those months. However, his issue is the big inning. In August for example, he gave up 9 runs in 11.2 innings, but 8 of those runs came in two outings. 11 of his August appearances were scoreless, and what hurt him in the other 3 were the long ball. If he can learn to limit damage he could be really effective. The measure of a middle reliever is how often they can carry the ball to the next pitcher without allowing any runs. In this Ramirez has succeeded more often than not. In 55 appearances last season, 45 of them were scoreless outings. That isn't to say they were all clean outings, but they were scoreless. In the remaining 10 outings, Ramirez allowed a total of 24 runs. Ouch.
My Fearless Prediction:
Ramirez harnesses the energy of his changeup, and complements it with better placement of his fastball effectively allowing him to have a monster year where he posts an ERA in the mid-2's, and strikes out Jason Varitek every time he faces him.
Little Known Ramirez Fact:
Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory is loosely based on Edwar Ramirez's life.
Monday, February 2, 2009
10 Days, 10 Players: Damaso Marte
Everyday until spring training begins the "Respect Jeter's Gangster" blog will review one player from the Yankees roster. We will review a total of 25 players, the 25 we believe will be on the active roster after spring training. Our reviews are all edited by Carl Pavano himself to insure they're up to the stringent "Pavano Tough" standards.
When the Yankees acquired Damaso Marte along with Nady last season, they were hoping to secure a dominant lefty to help shape out their mostly right handed bullpen. Marte has been pitching in the majors since 1999, and spent the 4 seasons between 2002 - 2005 with White Sox, where he was both dominant and durable. Before he was traded to the Yankees at the end of July, Marte was being used as the Pirates closer, and if you know anything about being the Pirates closer, its that you pitch very rarely. Marte would go up to 8 days without pitching when he was with the Pirates. Once he came to the Yankees, Marte was called upon more regularly, and it seemed that where at some points he would be dominant, at others he would get shelled. He ended with a July ERA of 5.79, which ballooned to 7.71 for August. The Yankees began to use Marte less in September, either because they recognized that they had been over using him, or because Phil Coke was absolutely unhittable in his September call up. Marte posted a 1.35 ERA in September but only threw 6.2 innings, the fewest in any month last season. The Yankees believe in Marte and offered him a three year contract in November.
My Fearless Prediction:
Last season required an adjustment for Marte, and with ample time to prepare for AL hitters again, Marte is likely to succeed. I expect him to have an ERA in the mid 3's, and about 50 innings of work. Coke will take up the other lefty innings.
Little Known Marte Fact:
Damaso Marte started the Marte Brewing Company, which produced Marte Beer, but after several people went blind from its consumption and the lawsuits started pouring in, he was forced to close it down.
When the Yankees acquired Damaso Marte along with Nady last season, they were hoping to secure a dominant lefty to help shape out their mostly right handed bullpen. Marte has been pitching in the majors since 1999, and spent the 4 seasons between 2002 - 2005 with White Sox, where he was both dominant and durable. Before he was traded to the Yankees at the end of July, Marte was being used as the Pirates closer, and if you know anything about being the Pirates closer, its that you pitch very rarely. Marte would go up to 8 days without pitching when he was with the Pirates. Once he came to the Yankees, Marte was called upon more regularly, and it seemed that where at some points he would be dominant, at others he would get shelled. He ended with a July ERA of 5.79, which ballooned to 7.71 for August. The Yankees began to use Marte less in September, either because they recognized that they had been over using him, or because Phil Coke was absolutely unhittable in his September call up. Marte posted a 1.35 ERA in September but only threw 6.2 innings, the fewest in any month last season. The Yankees believe in Marte and offered him a three year contract in November.
My Fearless Prediction:
Last season required an adjustment for Marte, and with ample time to prepare for AL hitters again, Marte is likely to succeed. I expect him to have an ERA in the mid 3's, and about 50 innings of work. Coke will take up the other lefty innings.
Little Known Marte Fact:
Damaso Marte started the Marte Brewing Company, which produced Marte Beer, but after several people went blind from its consumption and the lawsuits started pouring in, he was forced to close it down.
Exclusive Preview of Torre Tell-All
It has been widely reported that Joe Torre has written a tell-all book with Sport's Illustrated's Tom Verducci. Less well known is the fact that Torre also collaborated on a tell-all with RJG. Now that the Verducci tome has been released, our book has quickly plummeted on the Amazon.com pre-order list. In order to prop up declining pre-orders we will be printing exclusive excerpts on RJG from time to time. Here's a taste (careful, it's delicious):
Hi, I'm Joe Torre, I used to be a catcher. One time in 2007 I got a call from George Steinbrenner. He was all like, "Hey Torre, we want you to win more ballgames, I'm going to go make a sandwich." I thought it was weird, because the Yankees had fired me a week earlier. That's when I knew the old Boss was gone for good.
Hi, I'm Joe Torre, my wife's name is Ally. One time I was sleeping in the dugout, when suddenly Don [Mattingly] nudged me awake. Cano was arguing with the ump about a bad call so I came out to cool the situation. Then Don [Knots] was like, "that's the worse call I ever did see jee golly." I was like, "chill out, Mr. Furley, I got this." I got between a teary eyed Cano and the ump and explained in a calm and classy manner that if he disrupted my nap again, an unfortunate accident would befall his cat. The ump was all like, "I don't have a cat!" So I looked him dead in the eye. "Are you sure?" I said sternly. The ump averted his gaze and I had established my dominance. I walked back to the dugout.
Hi, I'm Joe Torre, I used to be a catcher. One time in 2007 I got a call from George Steinbrenner. He was all like, "Hey Torre, we want you to win more ballgames, I'm going to go make a sandwich." I thought it was weird, because the Yankees had fired me a week earlier. That's when I knew the old Boss was gone for good.
Hi, I'm Joe Torre, my wife's name is Ally. One time I was sleeping in the dugout, when suddenly Don [Mattingly] nudged me awake. Cano was arguing with the ump about a bad call so I came out to cool the situation. Then Don [Knots] was like, "that's the worse call I ever did see jee golly." I was like, "chill out, Mr. Furley, I got this." I got between a teary eyed Cano and the ump and explained in a calm and classy manner that if he disrupted my nap again, an unfortunate accident would befall his cat. The ump was all like, "I don't have a cat!" So I looked him dead in the eye. "Are you sure?" I said sternly. The ump averted his gaze and I had established my dominance. I walked back to the dugout.
11 Days, 11 Players: AJ Burnett
Everyday until spring training begins the "Respect Jeter's Gangster" blog will review one player from the Yankees roster. We will review a total of 25 players, the 25 we believe will be on the active roster after spring training. Our reviews are all edited by Carl Pavano himself to insure they're up to the stringent "Pavano Tough" standards.
AJ Burnett had a dominating year with Toronto last season going 18-10 with a 4.07 ERA and 231 strikeouts in 221.1 innings. The biggest concern with Burnett has been his inability to stay healthy. He's pitched 200 innings 2 times before, and he followed both of those seasons with DL stints. The question is how well his body will hold up to this past seasons career high of 221.1 innings. He says that he's learned to take it easy on his arm and that will save him some time on the DL, but I'm not sold. The good thing about Burnett, which was different from Pavano, is that even though he's had injury problems, he's never missed an entire season, and has typically given his teams at least 120 innings in his injury years. The exception being the 2003 season where he lasted just 23 innings. Still, that's more than Pavano gave us in 2006.
My Fearless Prediction:
Burnett will stay healthy and give the first back-to-back 200 inning performance of his career. The third injury-prone Marlins pitcher from that era, Josh Beckett, was able to post 200 innings back-to-back for Boston, so there is hope.
Little Known Burnett Fact:
While pitching together in Florida, Burnett, Beckett, and Pavano all took a magical elixir that was meant to make them play at Derek Jeter's level. However, their bodies weren't built for that level of play, and thus started their legacy of DL and rehab stints.
AJ Burnett had a dominating year with Toronto last season going 18-10 with a 4.07 ERA and 231 strikeouts in 221.1 innings. The biggest concern with Burnett has been his inability to stay healthy. He's pitched 200 innings 2 times before, and he followed both of those seasons with DL stints. The question is how well his body will hold up to this past seasons career high of 221.1 innings. He says that he's learned to take it easy on his arm and that will save him some time on the DL, but I'm not sold. The good thing about Burnett, which was different from Pavano, is that even though he's had injury problems, he's never missed an entire season, and has typically given his teams at least 120 innings in his injury years. The exception being the 2003 season where he lasted just 23 innings. Still, that's more than Pavano gave us in 2006.
My Fearless Prediction:
Burnett will stay healthy and give the first back-to-back 200 inning performance of his career. The third injury-prone Marlins pitcher from that era, Josh Beckett, was able to post 200 innings back-to-back for Boston, so there is hope.
Little Known Burnett Fact:
While pitching together in Florida, Burnett, Beckett, and Pavano all took a magical elixir that was meant to make them play at Derek Jeter's level. However, their bodies weren't built for that level of play, and thus started their legacy of DL and rehab stints.
Sunday, February 1, 2009
12 Days, 12 Players: Brian Bruney
Everyday until spring training begins the "Respect Jeter's Gangster" blog will review one player from the Yankees roster. We will review a total of 25 players, the 25 we believe will be on the active roster after spring training. Our reviews are all edited by Carl Pavano himself to insure they're up to the stringent "Pavano Tough" standards.
When Brian Bruney was incapacitated due to a foot injury last season, he would sit in a chair and throw balls in order to maintain his arm strength. The dedication paid off as he was able to return in time to help the Yankees finish third. There has been much speculation about Bruney's injury. Some say he hurt his foot breaking it off on someone's arse, but the truth is that Hank sent ninjas to send a message about his hair which was way too long. The ninjas weren't supposed to injure him, but, you know, they're ninjas. Bruney has a tendency to throw rather than pitch, but if he an settle down he should be an effective reliever for us. If not, he could be an effective reliever for Scranton.
My Fearless Prediction:
Bruney will be an effective set up guy for whoever sets up Mariano Rivera. With Bruney holding down the seventh, we should be in pretty good shape. Expect 200 innings, an ERA around 0.20, and a run at the Cy Young. How's that for fearless.
Little Known Bruney Fact:
Besides being attacked by ninjas, Bruney was once attacked by a bear while reading to children at an orphanage. Okay, the bear was actually a hamster, but it was still traumatic.
When Brian Bruney was incapacitated due to a foot injury last season, he would sit in a chair and throw balls in order to maintain his arm strength. The dedication paid off as he was able to return in time to help the Yankees finish third. There has been much speculation about Bruney's injury. Some say he hurt his foot breaking it off on someone's arse, but the truth is that Hank sent ninjas to send a message about his hair which was way too long. The ninjas weren't supposed to injure him, but, you know, they're ninjas. Bruney has a tendency to throw rather than pitch, but if he an settle down he should be an effective reliever for us. If not, he could be an effective reliever for Scranton.
My Fearless Prediction:
Bruney will be an effective set up guy for whoever sets up Mariano Rivera. With Bruney holding down the seventh, we should be in pretty good shape. Expect 200 innings, an ERA around 0.20, and a run at the Cy Young. How's that for fearless.
Little Known Bruney Fact:
Besides being attacked by ninjas, Bruney was once attacked by a bear while reading to children at an orphanage. Okay, the bear was actually a hamster, but it was still traumatic.
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