Yanks Deny Children on Way to Victory

The Good

The Yankees proved they could win without the long ball, scoring five runs against the Blue Jays in a complete, nine inning effort.

The Bad

No ninjas were sighted at this game. Again.

The Ugly

Toronto starter Kyle Drabek managed only 2.1 innings, leaving the game in the third with the bases loaded. As Drabek walked back to the visiting dugout, Jorge Posada, standing on third, yelled out, "Hey Drabek, you have the last name of a bad guy in an 80s movie!" Posada then proceeded to give third base coach Rob Thomson, laughing hysterically, a high five. Drabek was visibly upset.

Yankees Fail in their Fiduciary Duty toward the Children

A lawsuit is pending.

Mark Teixeira 6hr = $12
Curtis Granderson 7hr = $14
Russell Martin 6hr = $12
Alex Rodriguez 5hr = $10
Jorge Posada 6hr = $12
Robinson Cano 8hr = $16
Andruw Jones 1hr = $2
Brett Gardner 3hr = $6
Nick Swisher 1hr = $2
Total = $86

Yanks Drop Opener Against the Jays

The Good

Robinson Cano had two home runs.

The Bad

The Jays had two home runs as a team. But they got five runs for their two home runs while we only got two runs for ours. That's bull$#!%. It should be the same exchange rate for everybody.

The Ugly

After the game, Garcia explained that he couldn't throw strikes. "I couldn't throw strikes," said Garcia. "It's not that my control was off, but I made a bet with Swish that I could beat the Jays without throwing a single ball over the plate. Almost. I almost pulled it off."

Won't Somebody Please Think of the Children

Yes. Cano will. Two home runs. $4 more.

Mark Teixeira 6hr = $12
Curtis Granderson 7hr = $14
Russell Martin 6hr = $12
Alex Rodriguez 5hr = $10
Jorge Posada 6hr = $12
Robinson Cano 8hr = $16
Andruw Jones 1hr = $2
Brett Gardner 3hr = $6
Nick Swisher 1hr = $2
Total = $86

Yanks Destroy White Sox

The Good

Everybody had a hit and scored a run. Everybody. People in the stands were being called in to pinch-hit against Edwin Jackson and even they were getting hits. The Yankees scored one-million runs or something like that.

The Bad

When you look at the box score this morning you may ask yourself, "Was this game played on an XBox?" Yes. Yes it was.

The Ugly

Nick Swisher hit his first home run of the season. After stepping on home plate Swish attempted to dig home plate out of the ground in order to take it home as a memento. He was escorted out of the stadium by security.

Spread These Butter Lyrics Over Harmony Grits

Bonus point if you recognize the reference. Swish and Gardner both hit home runs. Gardner has now hit three on the season, which can only mean the scourge of steroids is back in baseball.

Mark Teixeira 6hr = $12
Curtis Granderson 7hr = $14
Russell Martin 6hr = $12
Alex Rodriguez 5hr = $10
Jorge Posada 6hr = $12
Robinson Cano 6hr = $12
Andruw Jones 1hr = $2
Brett Gardner 3hr = $6
Nick Swisher 1hr = $2
Total = $82

Yanks Win Behind Colon

The Good

Colon went 8 innings, 1 run. Mo went 1 inning, 0 runs. Cano had a three-run home run.

The Bad

When Cano hit his home run, he yelled out to Mark Buehrle, "Nice pitch selection." That hurt Buehrle's feelings. Then, as he crossed home plate, Cano yelled, "And no one knows how to spell your last name!" That really hurt Buehrle's feelings. There were unconfirmed reports of weeping in the visiting clubhouse.

The Ugly

Phil Hughes may possibly have a rare circulatory problem that may require the surgical removal of a rib. Hopefully for the young man, it doesn't come to that.

I Get Money, Money I Got

Cano made sure the kids didn't go home empty handed. One home run means $2 more for the kiddos.

Mark Teixeira 6hr = $12
Curtis Granderson 7hr = $14
Russell Martin 6hr = $12
Alex Rodriguez 5hr = $10
Jorge Posada 6hr = $12
Robinson Cano 6hr = $12
Andruw Jones 1hr = $2
Brett Gardner 2hr = $4
Total = $78

Turns Out $35 Million Was Excessive

The Good

I've been really impressed by Ivan Nova this season. He's not overpowering, but he puts up 6.1 innings of 1 run ball against a tought lineup. You have to be impressed. Jeter got a pair of hits, and both Cano and Gardner hit homeruns. Since we didn't post about Monday's game, I think its worth mentioning that AJ Burnett pitched 8 innings of 1 run ball. All very good signs.

The Bad

I'm going to go with two straight losses where the Yankee offense was rendered powerless by Chicago pitching. With or without Soriano's meltdown, 2 runs over two games just won't garner many wins.

The Ugly

Soriano gave up a 2-run bomb after hitting a batter. And this was my issue with this signing from the beginning. He wasn't always going to be perfect, and at $35 million, you really need him to be perfect. It was a stupid signing and now we must bear the burden of that.

At Least the Children Don't Have to Suffer

Despite the loss last night, both Cano and Gardner made sure the children wouldn't go home empty handed. We commend them for swinging their bats, but ask that next time they do it when people are on base.

Mark Teixeira 6hr = $12
Curtis Granderson 7hr = $14
Russell Martin 6hr = $12
Alex Rodriguez 5hr = $10
Jorge Posada 6hr = $12
Robinson Cano 5hr = $10
Andruw Jones 1hr = $2
Brett Gardner 2hr = $4
Total = $76

Yankees Take 2, Showalter Laments

The Good

Yankees hit 6 homeruns over the weekend, and CC Sabathia got his first win in an 8 inning 3-run pitching effort. Garcia pitched another 6 shutout innings, and Jeter went 4-6 with a double on Easter Sunday, breaking records in the process, and making some wonder if he'll manage to turn back the clock again. Oh yeah, and Boone Logan.

The Bad

In two consecutive outings, Mariano Rivera has blown a save. My world seems so much less secure these days. Like I have no footing. Why Mariano? Why would you do that?

The Ugly

Russell Martin hit two homeruns, he then proceeded to get hit. Baltimore's pitcher Josh Rupe said that it wasn't intentional, but Martin wasn't buying it. "When I went up to bat I saw Rupe shaking off a bunch of pitches. Wieters was finally like 'What do you want to throw!?'. Rupe was like 'What's the sign for hit this guy in the back?' And Wieters said 'There's no sign for that, just do it!' Next thing I know, I got plunked in the back. I think it was intentional."

So Much Money For The Babies

This weekend saw 6 pitches leave Camden Yard by way of Yankee bats, making this one of the more lucrative weekends for the Children's Health Fund, and of course, the babies. And all that despite a rain out on Friday. Much love to Russell Martin (x2), Jorge Posada, Alex Rodriguez, Brett Gardner and Curtis Granderson for their contributions.

Mark Teixeira 6hr = $12
Curtis Granderson 7hr = $14
Russell Martin 6hr = $12
Alex Rodriguez 5hr = $10
Jorge Posada 6hr = $12
Robinson Cano 4hr = $8
Andruw Jones 1hr = $2
Brett Gardner 1hr = $2
Total = $72

Dear Rain, Go F*ck Yourself

This is getting ridiculous. As much as I love being the only team in the AL East with a winning record, I would appreciate that so much more if we had actually played some games this month. The rain needs to stop. Just stop. It's not funny anymore.

Baseball's Extended Playoff Schedule

Bud Selig plans to extend the playoffs for the 2012 season. According to the Associated Press, Selig has stated that "I think we’re moving inexorably to [extended playoffs]". (Source).

Selig continued. "The playoffs are expanding. Inexorably. Do you know what inexorably means? F------g right! Soon, there will be no regular season! It will be a five round playoff. In the first round, it'll be a round robin, where you play all the teams in your league, and a few in the other league. You'll get one point for each win. At the end, the ten teams with the most points will proceed to the next rounds. The four teams with the lowest point total of those ten will play each other in a wild card round. That will set up the division round. Then the league championships. Then the World Series."

Told that Selig basically just described the regular baseball season and simply called it a 'playoff', Selig responded, "Inexorably!"

Gotta Gotta Get Up To Get Down

The Good

Three big things stand out. One, in Bartolo Colon's first start of the season, he pitched 6.2 innings allowing 2 runs and striking out 7. They say he ran out of gas in the 7th, but its still much further than Hughes has been able to pitch this season. Two, Curtis Granderson went 2-4 with a triple and a homerun. The man has had 3 consecutive games with homeruns! Its hard to beat the Nick Swisher for Wilson Betemit deal, but you gotta wonder if the Granderson trade will end up going down as one of the better deals Cashman has worked out. Third and lastly, Mark Teixeira bucked his early season trend of futility with 3 doubles last night.

The Bad

I'm starting to feel bad for Jeter. An 0-5 night drops his season average to .219. I had a dream the other night that Jeter went 3-5 with 3 homeruns in a game. Dream or prophecy? We'll soon find out.

The Ugly

This has to go to the title of an article I saw on MLB.com that read: "Yankees hope Feliciano will pitch at some point". Is that the best hope we have for him?

Granderson Helps the Children This Year

Another homerun for Curtis Granderson adds $2 to the Children's Health Fund's homerun club from the RJG. Keep Swinging that bat Curtis. Swing us into bankrupcy!

Mark Teixeira 6hr = $12
Curtis Granderson 6hr = $12
Russell Martin 4hr = $8
Alex Rodriguez 4hr = $8
Jorge Posada 5hr = $10
Robinson Cano 4hr = $8
Andruw Jones 1hr = $2
Total = $60

Mo Blows Opener

The Good

I went to bed before the end of the game last night.

The Bad

I woke up to the check the score this morning only to find out we lost!

The Ugly

Then I read that Mo blew the game. I didn't want to believe it. I know it's 4/20, so all these writers were high, right? That must be it. But no. Mo blew the game. I still blame Soriano.

Why Mo? Why?

That's what Texeira and Granderson asked after the game. They each hit a home run, for nothing. (Except $4 for the kids).

Mark Teixeira 6hr = $12
Curtis Granderson 5hr = $10
Russell Martin 4hr = $8
Alex Rodriguez 4hr = $8
Jorge Posada 5hr = $10
Robinson Cano 4hr = $8
Andruw Jones 1hr = $2
Total = $58

Unfair Competitive Advantage

George Mitchell better be investigating this!

Could Cashman be a Genius?

Over the off-season Brian Cashman tried to acquire one Clifftopher Lee, who spurned the Yankees offer and went to Philadelphia. At that point Cashman went into non-panic mode and set out on a plan to build the Yankees with low risk, high reward players. Signing players with succesful pasts but who have struggled recently has always been part of the succesful Yankee championship formula. Its why we had Doc Gooden and Darryl Strawberry on our team in the dynasty years. Recently we haven't had as much success with signings like Nick Johnson last season or Jason Lane and Morgan Ensberg a couple years back. But this time it was different. You see the reason Doc Gooden and Darryl Strawberry were such good pick ups, is that at one point in their careers they were perennial All-Star, MVP and CY Young candidates. There was a higher possibility of catching lightning in a bottle, and even if they just flashed former examples of their excellence, it was worth the chance taken on them.

And that leads to the signings of Bartolo Colon, Freddy Garcia, Eric Chavez and Andruw Jones. Its still early, and I don't think there's any one out there who believes these players will remain healthy all season. But the early returns have been promising, and given the contracts we've given these players, will it really matter if they don't all pan out? But the difference between these and other signings is that all of these players were in their own time great players. For 6 consecutive seasons, Freddy Garcia was a 200-inning workhorse for Seattle and the White Sox who led the league in innings and ERA in 2001. Bartolo Colon was the 2005 Cy Young award winner. Eric Chavez is a 6-time gold glover who was a regular 20-30 homerun guy in those years. And Andruw Jones we remember as the 10-time gold glove centerfielder for the Braves all those years he was on the other side of our dynasty advance.

So the point is, Cashman increased our chances of catching lightning in a bottle with these sorts of signings, and anyone who can catch lightning has to be either a genius, or Thor, and I'm just not willing to conclude the latter just yet until I see the movie.

Yanks Take Series from Rangers Who Are No Longer Scared of Us

The Good

The offense was good today, keeping pace with a Rangers team that kept putting up runs against our big guy. Soriano was nasty today. You could tell from his first pitch that this wasn't going to go well for the rangers. Chavez with the go-ahead hit, not to mention some nice defense at third, also good. Let's not forget Cano, Martin, and Granderson all hit home runs.

The Bad

Walking the first batter you come in to face is never good. Joba did that with one out in the seventh and cost CC the win. I know the Yankees are all about the team, not personal achievements, but CC should have a win by now.

The Ugly

The weather has been awful in New York for this series. There was even lightning and thunder yesterday, sending the crowds scurrying to the concourse. There is a simple explanation for this: New Yorkers don't fear muggers, giant rats on the subway, or dirty bombs, they fear rain. If you're ever in the city when it starts raining, watch as the locals instinctively run for the nearest awning. It's bad enough that it happens at all, but now we've gone ahead and done it on NATIONAL television. We better beat up a lesser city quick so people think we're tough again.

The Souvenirs

The Yankees had three home runs last night, one each from Cano, Martin, and Granderson. That's three souvenirs for the fans and $6 for the kids.

Mark Teixeira 5hr = $10
Curtis Granderson 4hr = $8
Russell Martin 4hr = $8
Alex Rodriguez 4hr = $8
Jorge Posada 5hr = $10
Robinson Cano 4hr = $8
Andruw Jones 1hr = $2
Total = $54

Yanks Take Second Game Against Rangers

The Good

Garcia went six scoreless innings. That was very good. Teixeira and Cano both went yard. Mo closed it out, literally, with his eyes closed.

The Bad

Soriano takes this one. Asked to hold a three-run lead, Soriano went to work making it a one-run lead. If not for a touch of luck, Beltre would've put the Rangers ahead with a shot to right that just went foul. Once again, Soriano struggled with his fastball. At least he escaped with the lead intact.

The Ugly

A-Rod left the game after the sixth with what is being called a back and oblique strain. The real reason he left, however, is that he had tickets to see Spiderman: The Musical, and wanted to make sure to get to the performance on time. "They're preparing to shut down the show and completely revamp it. I didn't want to miss my chance to see it in its original form. I know it sucks, but I date Cameron Diaz, so I have to get used to $#!%%* visual spectacles."

More Cash for Ads

Actually the cash is for children, but I stand by my decision to go with a Jay-Z reference. Teixeira and Cano both homered in what was possibly the worst day for a baseball game ever. Four more dollars for the kids.

Mark Teixeira 5hr = $10
Curtis Granderson 3hr = $6
Russell Martin 3hr = $6
Alex Rodriguez 4hr = $8
Jorge Posada 5hr = $10
Robinson Cano 3hr = $6
Andruw Jones 1hr = $2
Total = $48

Yanks Drop First Game of Texas Series

The Good

Granderson hit a ball really far. With a stick. Think about it. Also, Pendleton went three scoreless. He's the new Bartolo.

The Bad

Nova was bad. Three runs from the offense isn't great. What else? Losing is generally bad. Losers.

The Ugly

Nova attempted to explain his struggles with control after the game.

"I was distracted," explained Nova. "You know how in movies you see ninjas all the time? All the time. They show up, assassinate the master of rival schools. They're there. But you never pick up a newspaper and read, 'A man was killed in Brooklyn last night. Ninjas are suspected.' Never. You never hear about ninjas in the news. It makes me think they're probably not real. How am I supposed to pitch if that's true?!"

The Wasted Effort

Granderson hit a home run last night in the eighth. Too bad his effort had already been wasted by Nova in the fifth. At least the babies get more cash.

Mark Teixeira 4hr = $8
Curtis Granderson 3hr = $6
Russell Martin 3hr = $6
Alex Rodriguez 4hr = $8
Jorge Posada 5hr = $10
Robinson Cano 2hr = $4
Andruw Jones 1hr = $2
Total = $44

Hughes Going to Triple A

It looks like Hughes is getting sent to Scranton. I would suspect the 89mph fastball had something to do with it.

Update: Things move quickly. Apparently Hughes is going to the DL with a dead arm. This was apparent to anyone who saw him pitch this season, but as a medical concern its largely fabricated. Its almost like the "flu" you call out of work with that first day of spring.

Charity Fund Raiser Dinner

Rivera, Gossage, Berra, Jackson Among Stars To Assist Abandoned Teens at Benefit May 9

NEW YORK, April 13, 2011 -- Charity-minded Yankees stars of past and present, including the likes of Mariano Rivera, Goose Gossage, Yogi Berra and Reggie Jackson are among the New York athletes scheduled help raise funds for the Evelyn Sachs Steiner Home for Girls at a benefit at The Clubhouse Grill (formerly Mo's New York Grill) on Monday night, May 9, at 7 p.m. in New Rochelle, N.Y.

In addition to the stars above, Steiner Sports founder Brandon Steiner has recruited many other New York sports greats for the lineup. Other baseball players expected to attend are Brett Gardner, Dwight Gooden, Darryl Strawberry, Bobby Richardson and Paul Blair.

Hockey Hall of Fame Rangers Brian Leetch and Mike Richter, former New York Knicks Allan Houston, John Starks, and Anthony Mason and ex-Rangers winger Adam Graves also plan to be in attendance.

Tickets for the cause cost $500 and include dinner, open bar, and a special auction with unusual items. All proceeds from the tickets will be donated to the Evelyn Sachs Steiner Home for Girls. Fans wishing to donate can send a check to the address below or call 914-307-1030 and give a credit card. The check should be made out to Family Services of Westchester.

Steiner Sports Memorabilia, Inc.
Attn: Brandon Steiner
145 Huguenot Street
New Rochelle, NY 10801

About Family Services of Westchester
Family Services of Westchester's Youth Residences give a chance in life to teens who might otherwise not have a chance. Boys and girls come to us deeply troubled, having suffered hurtful neglect and abuse or serious conflict with their parents. Many have been abandoned and have never experienced what most of us take for granted: a stable and secure home. They are often ready to turn their backs on a world that has rejected them. They leave our care, almost always knowing that the world can be harsh, but there are people on whom they can depend. They learn ways to cope, to tap into their strengths, to rise above, and to find hope and joy in becoming creative, contributing members of society.

The Girls Residence on Davis Avenue houses 8 young women. This youth residence provides support for teens in crisis and gives the youth - ages 13 to 21 -- a safe and nurturing environment in which to live while they are completing their schooling. Here, with the support of house parents, tutoring and a full range of supportive services, these youth are able benefit from what other children have in their natural homes: a caring environment that enables them to learn and grow; a safe haven that provides guidelines for interaction with their peers, their teachers, their employers and community at large.

About Steiner Sports
Established in 1987 by founder and CEO Brandon Steiner, Steiner Sports has been a leader in sports memorabilia and sports marketing for over two decades. Originally focused on procuring athletes for endorsements and speaking engagements, the company has evolved into the world's foremost provider of authenticated, hand-signed and game-used sports collectibles. Steiner Sports enjoys working relationships with many of the top athletes in sports today, and holds partnerships with Madison Square Garden, the New York Yankees, Boston Red Sox, Chicago Cubs, Dallas Cowboys and Syracuse, Notre Dame and Alabama Universities on the collegiate level. Steiner Sports is located in New Rochelle, NY.

Yanks Take Series, Want Blood

The Good

Bartolo Colon, Joba, Mo. Also known as BarJoMo. The 'lock down clean-up crew in games that have gotten away from the starter' for the Yankees. This is how they drew it up in the offseason folks. Game tying home run in the ninth by Posada was good. Pie in the tenth even better. Oh! And that catch by Swisher at the wall.

The Bad

I'm going to go out on a limb here, I think Phil Hughes may be hurt. If you've ever watched Hughes pitch you may have noticed that he has this odd pause in his delivery. He brings the ball up to about a 3/4 position, pauses and then launches into the pitch. That's always struck me as something that was going to lead to shoulder trouble. So I'm going to go ahead and guess that there may be more to this loss of velocity than just arm strength.

The Ugly

What was Martin thinking on that snap throw to first? It's like he said to himself, "I wonder how far I can throw a baseball" and then just went for it.

All Donations Are Tax Deductible

Jorge Posada, or as he is now known, 'the new Adam Dunn of the Yankees', hit another home run last night. The children thank you good sir.

Mark Teixeira 4hr = $8
Curtis Granderson 2hr = $4
Russell Martin 3hr = $6
Alex Rodriguez 4hr = $8
Jorge Posada 5hr = $10
Robinson Cano 2hr = $4
Andruw Jones 1hr = $2
Total = $42

New York For the Win

The Good

AJ Burnett didn't have his grade A stuff on the mound. He was getting hit early in the game, and he called Larry Rothchild out to the mound. The following conversation was recorded:

AJ: Larry, my heel is hitting the ground, I can't get it to stop.

LR: I get the money, so I don't care.

AJ: How is that helpful? That resolves nothing.

LR: Doesn't it? (wink).

(Long Awkward Silence)

And AJ started throwing strikes from there on out. A-Rod hit a homerun coming back from the flu as did Posada, but he wasn't overcoming the flu, just a slump.

The Bad

In the 7th inning, AJ forgot Rothchild's words of wisdom, and gave up back-to-back 2-run homeruns.

The Ugly

So far Gardner isn't really making his case for being at the top of the lineup. He went 1-5 and got caught stealing by a mile. Its still very early, but its been ugly.

Its All for the Children

Last night A-Rod and Posada both hit homeruns to put the Yankees lead out of reach, and give a couple extra bucks to the Children's Health Fund.

Mark Teixeira 4hr = $8
Curtis Granderson 2hr = $4
Russell Martin 3hr = $6
Alex Rodriguez 4hr = $8
Jorge Posada 4hr = $8
Robinson Cano 2hr = $4
Andruw Jones 1hr = $2
Total = $40

Rain Out Revelations

Though the Yankees and Orioles got rained out yesterday the evening was still packed with AL East action as the Red Sox and Rays got their game in. It was Jon Lester vs. David Price and both lefties were dealing, but the main surprise is that the Red Sox took another loss dropping to 2-9 on the season. Now I still hold that its way too early to count any team out, well, Kansas City and Pittsburgh are out, but otherwise its too early to count any real team out. But the Sox are digging themselves in quite the hole, and the strange thing is that they're not a bad team. Eventually this will turn around, but for now its like watching a glorious train wreck. It makes me think what it would have done to Red Sox nation had the Yankees actually won the series. We weren't going to win that night against Beckett, he was just too good, but you kind of wish Hughes had shown up with a bit more on Friday. But either way, a sweep by the Rays could send the Sox into panic mode. Eventually all the pieces will start clicking, but for now its kind of fun to watch.

Russell Martin Talks Off-Season Training Regimen

It has been reported that Russell Martin undertook an MMA style training regimen in order to condition himself prior to the season. While he said the training regimen focused largely on endurance aspects of MMA training, we at RJG knew better. Martin is a catcher. He literally sits on his @$$ for a living. He wasn't doing MMA training for endurance. We went for the real story.

"Okay, it wasn't about endurance," admitted a reluctant Martin. "I was going to retire from baseball and become a street fighter. I started training. Hard. I was kicking. Punching. Grappling. My knee was in a cast and I was grappling. But then I was like, 'Ok, I'm ready to learn to shoot a fireball out of my hands.' My trainer was like, 'WTF are you talking about?' And I'm all 'WTF? Really? You're going to go with the acronym? Okay. I want to learn how to shoot a fireball out of my hands for street fighting purposes.' The trainer told me it wasn't possible and I was like, 'But I'm going to get my @$$ handed to me if I can't shoot fireballs out of my hands!' That was the end of my street fighting career. The only benefit of the training was the endurance. I sit on my @$$ for a living. It was a complete waste of #$%&@* time."

That Really Got Away From Us

The Good

Sabathia wasn't his sharpest, but even while struggling to find the strike zone he still pitched 5.2 innings allowing one run. Normally, that would be more than enough for our offense but...

The Bad

The offense sucked. We got two hits! Two! None for extra bases. Beckett shut us out for 8 innings striking out 10 of our guys. Jeter looked more futile than he has all season. Posada struck out 3 times. This game was painful to watch.

The Ugly

We could never put Marco Scutaro away. I know that's an odd thing to focus on, but you have to get the 9th batter out. He went 2-2 with 2 walks and 2 RBI's. In other words, he produced more than the entire Yankee offense (2 hits, 1 walk, 0 RBI's). That's ugly.

RJG is for the Children, the Yankees Last Night Were Not

We desperately wanted the Yankees to make us donate money to charity but they never came through. Unfortunately we signed up for the Yankees Homerun Club, not the Marco Scutaro Singles for the Sick Club. I don't know if that club exists, but it would have made a killing last night.

Mark Teixeira 4hr = $8
Curtis Granderson 2hr = $4
Russell Martin 3hr = $6
Alex Rodriguez 3hr = $6
Jorge Posada 3hr = $6
Robinson Cano 2hr = $4
Andruw Jones 1hr = $2
Total = $36

Yankees Even Series

The Good

Martin, Granderson, and Cano all had home runs. Martin had two. By himself. Robertson, Chamberlain, and Ayala shut down the Sox. All of the above is good.

The Bad

The Yankees have been forced by today's performance to change Ivan Nova's nickname. He will henceforth be known as 'Mediocre-Nova'.

The Ugly

The Yankees didn't score a single run in the third inning. Maybe tomorrow they'll bother to show up for the whole game!

The Feats of Athleticism

There is no singular achievement in the history of the human race greater than hitting a ball over a wall. Martin did it twice today. Granderson and Cano each did it once. You, mere mortal, didn't do it at all.

Mark Teixeira 4hr = $8
Curtis Granderson 2hr = $4
Russell Martin 3hr = $6
Alex Rodriguez 3hr = $6
Jorge Posada 3hr = $6
Robinson Cano 2hr = $4
Andruw Jones 1hr = $2
Total = $36

Yanks Drop Opener

The Good

The offense scored six runs and Colon went 4.1 innings allowing just 1 earned run.

The Bad

Giving up nine runs to a team that just got swept by Cleveland is bad. So is doing nothing offensively for the last four innings of the game.

The Ugly

Hughes managed to give up six runs in two innings. I say 'manage' because with a performance this poor I can only assume his goal was to give up runs, not prevent them. Hughes still hasn't found his fastball, and perhaps more problematically, has chosen to throw only two of his pitches: off the plate, and straight down the middle. Not a great formula for success.

The Children Are Our Future

Which is why we have to stop them. A-Rod hit a solo home run over the green monster, tying him with someone for something (I assume. At this point, they're all milestone home runs). That was the only Yankee home run in the game.

Mark Teixeira 4hr = $8
Curtis Granderson 1hr = $2
Russell Martin 1hr = $2
Alex Rodriguez 3hr = $6
Jorge Posada 3hr = $6
Robinson Cano 1hr = $2
Andruw Jones 1hr = $2
Total = $28

Mark Feinsand Twitter

Just read this on a twitter feed from reporter Mark Feinsand.

"1st-time drinkers near dugout yell "HGH HGH!" at ARod. Swisher turns and yells "275 275" back, as in ARod's contract. Silence"

I thought that was awesome.

Yanks Take Rain Shortened Series

The Good

The Yankees won. Yeah, yeah. What may be even more good is that the Red Sox lost. Again. They are now 0-6. Sure, it's early. But man. 0-6. Gonzalez. Crawford. 0-6. That's not simply good. That's hilarious.

The Bad

Burnett is 2-0 with a 4.09 ERA. In contrast, Sabathia's 1.38 ERA has been good for an 0-2 record. WTF?

The Ugly

Nick Swisher injured Minnesota second baseman Tsuyoshi Nishioka on a hard slide to break up a double play. By injured I mean he broke his leg. Everyone thought the play was clean, except Swisher.

"I wasn't trying to break up the double play, I was trying to hurt him," explained Swisher. "First of all, Tex was running. Have you ever seen Tex run? He's going to be out. That's that. But earlier in the game I overheard Nishioka say that the Sushi in California is subpar relative to what you get in Japan. I'm from California and I don't play that $#!%."

It remains to see whether the incident will result in any bad blood between these two clubs.

Oh The Humanity

No home runs were hit today. It's like the Yankees have given up really.

Mark Teixeira 4hr = $8
Curtis Granderson 1hr = $2
Russell Martin 1hr = $2
Alex Rodriguez 2hr = $4
Jorge Posada 3hr = $6
Robinson Cano 1hr = $2
Andruw Jones 1hr = $2
Total = $26

Soriano Apologizes

According to Brian Heyman, Soriano has apologized for leaving yesterday before not talking to reporters. He said he was upset about his performance, and didn't want to talk to the media. He also reportedly said that he'll pitch any inning Girardi wants. I applaud the apology, and applaud Boras and Girardi for telling him he needs to face the media no matter what happens. We'll see if this changes anything.

Heyman says that he didn't find anything unusual about Girardi using Soriano in the 8th, but this is where we disagree. You really don't see something unusual about pitching your setup guy two days in a row, in a non-save situation this early in the season, in the cold northeast, when you just signed him to a 3-year $35 million deal, and he has a history of injury (Shoulder problems early in his career, the Tommy John between 2004-2005, and elbow surgery in 2008 (Source))? Just saying, maybe a little caution would be warranted, and Robertson was available.

Soriano Was, Is, and Forever Will Be, a Bad Signing

I want to be clear that this is not reactionary from last nights outing. From the moment they rid themselves of their first round draft pick to overpay for an 8th inning releiver, I've been opposed to this deal. But last night revealed the flaw in this signing. You pay a guy $35 million to pitch one inning for you, and the truth of the matter is he isn't always going to get the job done. The idea that having Soriano shortens games only works if he pitches well, and even if he pitches well he can't pitch every game. Frankly, having Soriano pitch the 8th after pitching Monday night was a poor decision by Girardi. Its still early in the season, and unless you're in a save situation there's really no need to do that. But the fact of the matter is, you signed a player to shut down the 8th, signed him to a ton of money, and he didn't get the job done. Then he left the clubhouse before talking to the media leaving his teammates to answer questions. As Martin commented:

"I think he was there mentally," said Russell Martin, among those answering questions in Soriano's absence. "He was throwing the ball with conviction, I think." (Source) "I think." That's the best Martin can say about his pitcher because ultimately he doesn't know. But have no doubt about it, his teammates are already questioning his dedication, and this is the guy you paid $35 million to pitch one inning.

When Girardi was asked if perhaps closers just don't have the same intensity in non-save situations he answered: “It’s too early to judge that. That’s something we’ll have to evaluate as we go on.” (Source). Really? Because it seems every team he's ever pitched for would be able to tell you that he absolutely lacks intensity when asked to pitch in situations he feels are below him. Including the Rays who in their division series elimination game asked Soriano to pitch only to see him throw a fit for being asked to pitch in a non-save situation, and then watched him allow the Rangers to blow the game open.

Soriano is going to hold a lot of games for Mariano, I don't doubt that. But even then, this signing was, is, and forever will be one of the dumbest signings I'll ever get to witness. Even worse than Carl Pavano, because at least Pavano made for funnier punchlines.

Tough Loss

The Good

Seven innings of no-run ball from Sabathia is very good. Mo in the ninth was good. Home runs from Teixeira and Andruw Jones also good.

The Bad

The Yankees offense after the second was bad. You can't go eight innings without putting up anything. The relief pitching was bad. I thought it was weird to see Soriano, who was very bad, in the game. He pitched yesterday and it's still pretty cold (remember this guy used to pitch in Tampa). Why not bring Robertson in in that situation? Though he got unlucky against Young, Robertson had much better stuff, and was rested having not pitched yet this season. Girardi also should have pulled Soriano much faster than he did.

The Ugly

This one goes to the New York media. Soriano refused to speak to the media after giving the game away in the eighth. That sort of thing might fly in Tampa, where the media contingent is made up of retirees just there for the team provided buffet, but not in New York. Today I read one, count it, one column on Soriano's cowardly refusal to stick around after the game to address the media and explain why he seemed to be playing for Minnesota last night. Only Joel Sherman of the post, who has always been suspect of this signing, and also of Soriano's personality, addressed the issue. Game review articles mentioned it, but didn't harp on it. That's bull$#!%. New York media, hang your head in shame!

CHF Gets the Money, Yankees Get the Power, Then, Once You Have the Power, Soriano Blows It in the Eighth

Teixeira had another three-run home run in the first. Andruw Jones, in his first at-bat as a Yankee, hit a solo home run in the second. Good for $4 to the CHF.

Mark Teixeira 4hr = $8
Curtis Granderson 1hr = $2
Russell Martin 1hr = $2
Alex Rodriguez 2hr = $4
Jorge Posada 3hr = $6
Robinson Cano 1hr = $2
Andruw Jones 1hr = $2
Total = $26

Joba Chamberlain is Different

There is no question that Joba is different this year. He's throwing hard. He's attacking hitters. He's confident. Working quickly. But what explains the sudden change in Joba? Simple: He's fat. Joba showed up to camp overweight, and he's pitched his @$$ off. In previous years Joba would show up to camp talking about how he was in the best shape of his life, then not pitch to expectation. Yankee brass assumed he was getting too comfortable. No. He was getting skinny. It turns out, Joba's a fat guy. He needs to be fat. Just let him be fat and he will pitch well. That's all it takes.

Quality Start and Home Runs Give Yanks the Win

The Good

Ivan Nova gave us a quality start against an offense that is no slouch. The Bullpen was perfect through three innings. A-Rod and Posada both homered with men on base, giving us an early lead we never relinquished.

The Bad

Gardner got robbed of a couple of hits yesterday. Delmon Young made a terrific diving catch in left to take an extra base hit away. Later, Gardner smoked a ball right to the first baseman. Bad luck for a guy trying to find his swing.

The Ugly

I'm supposed to make up some sort of funny story here, but I'm going to go with 0-7 from Jeter and Gardner. That is ugly. Plain and simple. These guys are supposed to be on base when Teixeira and A-Rod come up. Instead, they're in the dugout, drinking water from Gatorade cups (WTF?). These guys need to start getting on base with some regularity. Hopefully the two hard hit balls from Gardner are signs that things are turning around.

Get Money

For the children that is. A-Rod and Posada have seen it fit to contribute an additional $4 to the kids. Classy all the way around.

Mark Teixeira 3hr = $6
Curtis Granderson 1hr = $2
Russell Martin 1hr = $2
Alex Rodriguez 2hr = $4
Jorge Posada 3hr = $6
Robinson Cano 1hr = $2
Total = $22

Around the Division

The Yankees have won their first series of the year, which has been great, but so have the Blue Jays putting them in direct contention with us for the second place spot after 3 games. Second place I say? Well, the Orioles are off to a hot 3-game start after sweeping the Rays (tied for last). I was excited to see David Price pitch, but I was reminded that these players are not in midseason form. Also not in midseason form are the umpires. In the first game of the season, Upton was caught in a run down between second and third. Upton was racing for third when the ball was thrown to the catcher covering the base, but before Upton could turn around to run back towards second, the Orioles pitcher jumped on his back a clear violation of playground rules. Upton, not expecting to have a full grown man jump on his back, fell to the ground, but not before the catcher placed the tag on him and he was called out by the umpire who witnessed all of this from about 10 feet away. Upton argued that it was interference to have the pitcher jump on him like that. Maddon ran out and argued for it too. But the umpire could not be convinced that a full grown man jumping on a base runner in the middle of a run down was interference. Maybe its just me, and I might still be a little bitter from Armando Galarraga's perfect game thievery, but when you're only job is to watch a game and make a call and you get a simple call wrong, its hard to swallow. I can understand the close tags at home, or balls hitting centimeters near the foul line, or even balls and strikes that are inches near the zone. Its a tough job and I don't expect perfection. But the only person who thought that the pitcher jumping on Upton wasn't intereference was the umpire. Just like the only person who thought that guy was safe at first last year against Galarraga was the umpire. 2 outs in the 9th! Get the call right! He was like 3 steps from the bag!

But anyways, one interesting development of the weekend was Boston getting swept by the Rangers. Now the Rangers are already a good team, and when Ian Kinsler hits 3 homeruns in 3 consecutive games against you, you know things aren't looking good for you. Its still the beginning of the season, and it shouldn't be too much of a shock that Lester and Buchholz got knocked around. Lackey took the brunt of the Rangers offense as he lasted just 3.2 innings and gave up 9 runs.

Everyone believes the Red Sox are a far superior team to the Yankees, but I think its much closer than anyone thinks. Is their rotation better? Yes. Lester and Buchholz should be pretty good for them, but Matsuzaka, Beckett and Lackey are just as big a question mark as Nova, Burnett and Garcia. But I'll concede the rotation because ultimately I don't trust the health of Garcia, and Nova's too much of a rookie to know how he'll turn out. I do think Burnett will out pitch Beckett but I don't know if Hughes will out pitch Buchholz. Buchholz quietly posted a 2.33 ERA over 28 game starts last season, Hughes was no where near that. Sabathia and Lester had oddly similar numbers last year, and Lester is younger. So as I said, I concede that the rotation is better, but not by much. Matsuzaka, Lackey and Beckett will still lose plenty of games for them. Then we talk about the offense. Even with the additions of Crawford and Gonzalez, the Red Sox just basically caught up to what the Yankees had. I'd take A-Rod offensively over Youkilis, Cano over Pedroia, Martin over whatever plan B catcher the Red Sox found, Swisher over Drew, Jeter over Scutaro, Granderson over Ellsbury. I'll take Crawford over Gardner though I think we may be getting a surprise from Gardner this year, and Ortiz gets the nod over Posada considering the power Ortiz put up last year. That takes us to Gonzalez vs. Teixeira. This one I'm not sure about. Gonzalez is a great hitter, but he's made his career in the NL West. Teixeira is a career American Leaguer with a few years of AL East experience under his belt. Not to mention that Teixeira is a good hitter himself. Both are off to great starts. But whichever way you go with this, I just don't see the Red Sox offense being superior to the Yankees. I think this season could be close.

Bittersweet

This play was awesome, but then you see the shots of the crowd, and it's kind of depressing.

Startling Comments During Yankees Post-Game

Losing is never fun. As many games as one may lose, it never gets any easier. Particularly for professional athletes, who only get to where they are because of a fierce, super-human, and generally unhealthy competitiveness. Athletes are however, expected to handle losing with some level of class and perspective. Consider the following, uncharacteristic comments, from one prominent Yankee after today's game.

"All I can do is my job. I did my job today. Hit the ball hard. Hit the ball out of the park. Hughes? He must have had a suck sandwich for breakfast, which infused him with suck. He sucked today. Plain and simple. Maybe next time he'll have a win sandwich. The suck sandwich didn't really work for him today."

Fair enough. That said, tomorrow's game does possess a few interesting elements to look forward to, not the least of which is Ivan Nova's first start of the season. It's exciting to see one of the kids get a chance, and I'm curious to see what he makes of his first big league start. Not that you can judge any pitcher by one start, especially the first start of the season (which is basically extended Spring Training). But if he has a suck sandwich, I hope he likes riding buses because that's what he'll be doing every time Scranton has a road trip.

Yanks Drop Chance to Sweep

The Good

The offense is still rolling. Four home runs from Posada (2), Teixeira, and Cano. Baseball was played today. That's good!

The Bad

Losing is bad. So is 0-9 by our first two hitters. WTF?

The Ugly

Every pitcher in the game for the Yanks gave up at least one run. Every. Pitcher. Really? I mean. Really? Here's a thought, maybe just one of you can do your jobs. Just one. That's all. Go #$&@% yourselves.

Money You Don't Deserve

You're lucky we like children. Teixeira, Posada, and Cano have combined to net $8 more for the Children's Health Fund. Maybe next time they'll combine to win a game. I see that my anger over losing one game is in mid-season form.

Mark Teixeira 3hr = $6
Curtis Granderson 1hr = $2
Russell Martin 1hr = $2
Alex Rodriguez 1hr = $2
Jorge Posada 2hr = $4
Robinson Cano 1hr = $2
Total = $18

Yanks Take First Series

The Good

The Yanks took their first series of the season. A-Rod hit a solo home run. Teixeira hit a three run home run. And Russell Martin copied him. Also good news, Posada was 1-2 with two walks. Perhaps he is getting more used to being the DH. Burnett didn't blow. Completely.

The Bad

AJ Burnett wasn't feeling well and for that reason could only pitch five innings. I guess that's bad.

The Ugly

After the game, Nick Swisher was all, "Yeah! We won the series! Go Yanks!" But then Jim Leyland was all, "Yeah, but you beat the Tigers, not exactly an accomplishment." Nick just looked at him for a few uncomfortable seconds and then was like, "You've completely ruined this day for me." Swish then proceeded to pick up his glove, bat, and ball and went home.

Oh, the Philanthropy!

RJG is again pledging $2 per home run hit by the Yankees this season for the Children's Health Fund. Known as the RJG pledge level, this generous outpouring of wealth is made possible largely by the fact that our blog is too big to fail, and were we ever to become insolvent, the Federal Government would have no choice but to bail us out. Teixeira, Martin, and A-Rod all went deep, netting the CHF another $6. Good for them.

Mark Teixeira 2hr = $4
Curtis Granderson 1hr = $2
Russell Martin 1hr = $2
Alex Rodriguez 1hr = $2
Total = $10

Something to Tide You Over Until Game Time

Tigs alerted us to this one. You all owe Tigs a 'thank you'.

Recommended Reading

Great post here by Joel Sherman for his blog.

Off Day Post

Nothing is going to happen today, so the dreaded off day post has to be written. This is one of those challenges for us bloggers; despite the fact that we make everything up. Well . . . almost everything. We didn't make up the Yankees. Or did we? I just blew your mind. Of course that's what a talented writer does. Makes you see things in a way you never considered. Off days are no different. We are still tasked with writing insightful posts about the Yankees. By now you're not even sure if the Yankees existed before you came across RJG. That's pretty good for an off day.