Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Sabathia Works Magic

The Good

Sabathia's final line was good, but confusing. He allowed 2 runs, over 6 innings, but he kept you on the edge of your seat all game, because he always seemed to be in trouble, a byproduct of allowing 10 hits and 2 walks in 6 innings. But along with that came 10 strikeouts, some of them coming in key situations so over all its good. Also good, our bullpen did not implode. Mariano locked down the save, and Soriano did not give up the lead. Wade got his out but put two on for Logan who got a pair of strikeouts with bases loaded to end the 7th inning.

Eric Chavez went 2-3 knocking in a couple runs, and Cervelli hit a homerun. Swisher went 3-3 with a walk continuing his surge.

The Bad

After scratching the surface of .300, Jeter is now down to a paltry .293 after an 0-5 night. Some blame the ball that went off his knee, but we know better. Jeter is feeling sad about his split from Friday Night Lights star Michael B. Jordan. "Back when I was dating Minka, I'd hang out with Michael. He played Wallace in The Wire, one of the best characters of the first season. Now that I'm not with Minka anymore, we don't hang out. Good guy. I'll have to settle with hanging out with the other Michael Jordan. I don't even like Hanes."

The Ugly

Things got heated in yesterdays game. It all started when Granderson was hit in the hand but it was ruled that it hit the bat by the homeplate umpire. Sabathia retaliated with a plunking of Jacoby Ellsbury. Then after Cervelli hit his homerun, Lackey plunked him in the back. Benches cleared, Cervelli had some words, Rothschild got ejected, and the game continued. Later Saltalamacchia, swung into a pitch that hit him in the arm, and the umpire rewarded him a hit-by-pitch. Girardi came out to argue and got tossed. It was pretty clear that Saltalamacchia swung at the pitch, but umpires have a tough job of watching the game a few feet away from the action and reporting what they see so we have to forgive them.

Adrenaline Fueled Charity!

Cervelli hit a homerun, his second jack of the season. That's $2 for the babies at the Children's Health Fund.

Mark Teixeira 35hr = $70
Curtis Granderson 38hr = $76
Russell Martin 17hr = $34
Alex Rodriguez 14hr = $28
Jorge Posada 12hr = $24
Robinson Cano 23hr = $46
Andruw Jones 11hr = $22
Brett Gardner 5hr = $10
Nick Swisher 21hr = $42
Derek Jeter 4hr = $8
Francisco Cervelli 2hr = $4
Eduardo Nunez 4hr = $8
Ramiro Pena 1hr = $2
Eric Chavez 1hr = $2
Total = $376

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

The New Homerun Club Captain Is...

Since the beginning of last season the Children's Health Fund has been without a homerun club captain. It had passed from Don Mattingly to Bernie Williams to Johnny Damon, but once Damon left, the legacy was broken, children suffered, babies wept, clinics watered down the dymetapp, and doctors watered down their whiskey. Until now. Its been announced that a new captain has emerged, and that captain is none other than Robinson Cano! You can watch the new CHF Robinson Cano PSA playing at the ballpark! As any reader of this blog will know, we've been supporting the CHF since our inception. And by that we mean when the CHF incepted charitable thoughts into our dreams not unlike the movie Inception. So we are quite delighted that they have a new captain and who better than our likely future team captain, Robinson Cano.

Monday, August 29, 2011

Garcia Continues Surprising Season

The Good

Freddy Garcia won again, giving us six innings of one-run ball. Nick Swisher hit a two-run home run, the difference in the game. Granderson scored in the first inning on a double by Mark Teixeira. SoRoRa (SOriano, RObertson, and RiveRA) closed out the game, though they allowed a run in the eighth (way to go Robertson).

The Bad

Curtis Granderson hit no home runs today. Seriously, why does he even get out of bed in the morning?

The Ugly

The Yankees now head to Boston with momentum. They're mashing homers, scoring runs, catching balls, throwing balls, doing other baseball related activities. But that was the case the last time they headed to Boston, where they proceeded to lay down and play the role of doormat to a team that quite clearly terrifies them. Hopefully that doesn't happen again, but any notion that the Yankees have momentum heading into Boston is not simply stupid, it's ugly.

The Babies with Scabies

Swisher was the only player who even bothered to try today, hitting a home run in the fourth inning with Cano on base. $2 more for the babies.

Mark Teixeira 35hr = $70
Curtis Granderson 38hr = $76
Russell Martin 17hr = $34
Alex Rodriguez 14hr = $28
Jorge Posada 12hr = $24
Robinson Cano 23hr = $46
Andruw Jones 11hr = $22
Brett Gardner 5hr = $10
Nick Swisher 21hr = $42
Derek Jeter 4hr = $8
Francisco Cervelli 1hr = $2
Eduardo Nunez 4hr = $8
Ramiro Pena 1hr = $2
Eric Chavez 1hr = $2
Total = $374

Double the Fun

The Good

Two pitching gems out of Nova and Colon even though Colon got the L. Colon went 7.2 innings allowing just 2 runs and no walks. Nova went 7 innings with 3 runs and 7 strikeouts. Perhaps Colon really was serious when he said he's not tired.

Also good was that Granderson took the lead in homeruns hitting two in the night cap. Swisher, Cano and Jones all hit homeruns back-to-back to get a little swagger going. Robertson worked another miraculous escape with 3 strikeouts in one inning.

The Bad

Colon took the loss because the Yankees could not score 2 runs off of Baltimore. You tip your hat to Britton, but really the offense needed to pick it up there.

The Ugly

Despite becoming the major league leader in homeruns, Granderson is not convinced that he's a homerun hitter.

"I just don't see it." Explained Granderson. "I'm just a singles hitter who's singles leave the park. Every time I reach first I stop there until the ump tells me to keep going. I just don't get it."

But we do, its called having an MVP season, which isn't ugly, but we needed something for this section.

Homeruns in Abundance

2 for Granderson, 1 for Cano, 1 for Swisher, and 1 for Andruw Jones, and all of a sudden, the Children's Health Fund has 10 more dollars from the RJG. Keep swinging those bats gentlemen!

Mark Teixeira 35hr = $70
Curtis Granderson 38hr = $76
Russell Martin 17hr = $34
Alex Rodriguez 14hr = $28
Jorge Posada 12hr = $24
Robinson Cano 23hr = $46
Andruw Jones 11hr = $22
Brett Gardner 5hr = $10
Nick Swisher 20hr = $40
Derek Jeter 4hr = $8
Francisco Cervelli 1hr = $2
Eduardo Nunez 4hr = $8
Ramiro Pena 1hr = $2
Eric Chavez 1hr = $2
Total = $372

Sunday, August 28, 2011

Wow

Let's face it, Burnett's been awful. Not regular awful, super awful. When a monster attacks a city of other awfuls, they look to Burnett to save them. That's how super awful he's been. At this point, there's no more "he's thrown well, he just doesn't have a lot to show for it." No more, "he's got electric stuff." He's not f$%&@#g Emperor Palpatine, his stuff is not electric. It's actually not very good; as demonstrated by the regularity with which Major League hitters end Burnett's day long before Girardi does. Now, some may say that Burnett has great stuff but he has to harness it. That sounds good, until you realize that pitching isn't like wind power. We can't build a dam in order to hold back Burnett and convert it into something useful; like an ERA in the 3s.

But Burnett isn't the only problem. Hughes has had one really good start since coming back from super extended Spring Training. At least when Colon gives us five innings it's because he's anxious to get back to his AARP bulletin and he's probably missed his nap. Right now we have a six man rotation with two ginormous question marks.

RJG has no choice but to make the following recommendation: come playoff time, Hughes and Burnett are not to be in the starting rotation. Burnett probably shouldn't be on the roster for that matter. This might upset him, but send him to the mall so he can distract himself with some of his $85M of non-earned cash (okay, he earned some of it in 2009).

You may be thinking that Colon in a playoff rotation is risky given his shoulder is held together by little more than HGH and the hope of every Yankees fan. You're right. But Colon would be a fourth starter in a playoff rotation; you could do far worse. But just in case, the Yankees may want to consider a nice 15-day DL stint for Mr. Colon, just to keep him fresh. Just say he hurt himself napping, no one will question you.

Friday, August 26, 2011

It Wasn't A Game, It Was A Reckoning

The Good

A score that looked more like a football game than a baseball game. The Yankees won 22-9, setting the record for most grandslams hit in a single game. Cano, Martin and Granderson all came up with the bases loaded and knocked one out of the park. Martin went 5-5 with two homeruns in the game. It appears the offense is starting to smell October. If only our pitching would smell it too.

Something that slid under the radar was game winner Boone Logan, who recorded 4 outs, all of which were strikeouts, and did not allow a single walk or hit. Noesi also recorded 5 outs without giving up a run.

The Bad

Ayala gave up 2 runs in relief, which given the score really didn't matter, but doesn't help his confidence....or ours.

The Ugly

Phil Hughes lasted 2.2 innings and had 6 runs counted against him. In a time where Burnett is ineffective, Colon is apparently tired, and Garcia is coming off of a hand-cutting injury, we really need our other guys to step up. Hughes has been pitching pretty good, but this was an implosion, and makes you wonder how this rotation will fare against a team that can actually hit.

Wow

Martin hit 2 homeruns, Cano, Jones, and Granderson each hit one homerun, and yesterday I only credited Swisher with one homerun when he hit two. That means the babies at the Children's Health Fund get $12 added to the "Nyquil for Infants" program*.

Mark Teixeira 35hr = $70
Curtis Granderson 36hr = $72
Russell Martin 17hr = $34
Alex Rodriguez 13hr = $26
Jorge Posada 11hr = $22
Robinson Cano 22hr = $44
Andruw Jones 9hr = $18
Brett Gardner 5hr = $10
Nick Swisher 18hr = $36
Derek Jeter 4hr = $8
Francisco Cervelli 1hr = $2
Eduardo Nunez 4hr = $8
Ramiro Pena 1hr = $2
Eric Chavez 1hr = $2
Total = $354

*Relax, its a joke.

Thursday, August 25, 2011

How Are We Going to Lose to Oakland...Twice!?

The Good

Sabathia went 7.1 innings allowing 3 runs, which should have been enough for the Yankees. Mariano was as advertised with a perfect inning including 2 strikeouts. Swisher hit another homerun yesterday as did Teixeira, and Jeter had another 2 hit game. The smell of October for Jeter is like the smell of blood for sharks. Sharks can smell it from miles away, and go into an immediate frenzy, capsizing boats and spearing whales with their snouts for no reason. Jeter smells October from more than a month away, and starts driving his average up with multi-hit games, and spearing teammates with his snout for no reason.

The Bad

The immediate thing that comes to mind is that we lost. Again. To Oakland. Like jerks.

The Ugly

The highest paid releiver on our roster gave up 3 runs to lose us the game in the 10th. Turns out investing a ton of money in relievers not named Mariano Rivera is a losing endeavor. I would say the Yankees would learn their lesson by now, but they didn't with Farnsworth and Marte. In fact, after experiencing those guys the only thing they changed was that they offered more money, to a more injury prone player, and lost a first round draft pick in the process. Very smart.

More $ for the Babie$

Teixeira and Swisher made sure the babies would not go home unhealthy with their homeruns last night. That's $4 more for the Children's Health Fund.

Mark Teixeira 35hr = $70
Curtis Granderson 35hr = $70
Russell Martin 15hr = $30
Alex Rodriguez 13hr = $26
Jorge Posada 11hr = $22
Robinson Cano 21hr = $42
Andruw Jones 8hr = $16
Brett Gardner 5hr = $10
Nick Swisher 17hr = $34
Derek Jeter 4hr = $8
Francisco Cervelli 1hr = $2
Eduardo Nunez 4hr = $8
Ramiro Pena 1hr = $2
Eric Chavez 1hr = $2
Total = $342

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

How Are We Going to Lose to Oakland?

The Good

We scored 5 runs, with the help of homeruns by Swisher and Posada. Jeter went 3-3 giving his average a climb to .295. His post-calf, post-3000th hit, post-all-star break performance has been amazing. Posada went 2-4 with the aforementioned homerun and a double. I'm thinking you gotta let Posada play. He's clearly motivated.

The Bad

In the 9th inning with the bases loaded, Nick Swisher hit a long fly ball that looked like a homerun. But the ball deceived us, getting caught just short of the wall by Coco Crisp. It was a rollercoaster ride of emotions, and in the end we lost.

The Ugly

Bartolo Colon. He says he's not getting tired, and that he's feeling strong, but then he gives up 5 runs in 6 innings to the Oakland Athletics. He's either tired or injured, and if he's none of those than he's just ineffective. Either way, he needs to turn some things around if he wants to avoid pitching out of the bullpen come September.

They Just Weren't Enough

Swisher and Posada both hit homeruns, but it was Swishers 9th inning flyball that stands out the most since that's the one that would have won us the game. Either way, $4 for the Children's Health Fund is a plus.

Mark Teixeira 34hr = $68
Curtis Granderson 35hr = $70
Russell Martin 15hr = $30
Alex Rodriguez 13hr = $26
Jorge Posada 11hr = $22
Robinson Cano 21hr = $42
Andruw Jones 8hr = $16
Brett Gardner 5hr = $10
Nick Swisher 16hr = $32
Derek Jeter 4hr = $8
Francisco Cervelli 1hr = $2
Eduardo Nunez 4hr = $8
Ramiro Pena 1hr = $2
Eric Chavez 1hr = $2
Total = $338

Monday, August 22, 2011

Minnesota Recap

The Good

3 out of our 4 starters were exceptional this series. Sabathia, Nova and Hughes all pitched at least 7 innings, allowing a total of 5 runs between them. Hughes pitched 2 outs into the 8th before being pulled. With the exception of Laffey, who apparently plays for us, the bullpen had 8.2 scoreless innings throughout this series.

The Yankee offense was alive and well this series. The Yankees combined for 23 runs in this 4 game series, while hitting 8 homeruns. Andruw Jones hit two of them after watching old tapes at the suggestion of his mother.

"My mom gave me a call and said 'You should watch these old tapes I have.' And I was like 'Mom! Not in front of Jeter!' But she was like, 'Just watch the tapes!' So I got home and put in the tapes. They were reruns of He-Man, and they were so inspiring! Skeletor, the embodiment of evil, would devise his wicked schemes, and then He-Man would always stop him. I was so pumped up, I just started swinging for the fences, which I always do, only now I'm actually making contact."

The Bad

In the midst of what was an exceptional series, we had one black eye, one ugly mark, one player who underperformed and then walked off the field acting as if he were the victim. If you saw the game, then you know I'm talking about A-Rod, who in his first game back went 0-5 leaving 6 runners on base.

"Why does everyone hate me?" asked A-Rod. So selfish.

The Ugly

AJ Burnett's swearing at Girardi when getting pulled out of the game in the 2nd inning after allowing 7 runs. I know he got frustrated, but you don't fault your manager for your own underperformance, and you don't swear at your manager after he just saved your ERA from further embarrasment. The truth is, Burnett is at risk of losing his spot come playoff time. We have 5 starters who are outperforming him. Sabathia, Colon, Hughes, Nova, and Garcia are all pitching better than him.

No One Man Should Have All This Power

Granderson tied Bautista with an inside-the-park homerun, but lost it later that day when Bautista hit his league leading 36. Besides Granderson, Texeira, Swisher, Jones, and Martin all put smiles on the children's faces. 8 homeruns from those guys means $16 for the Children's Health Fund.

Mark Teixeira 34hr = $68
Curtis Granderson 35hr = $70
Russell Martin 15hr = $30
Alex Rodriguez 13hr = $26
Jorge Posada 10hr = $20
Robinson Cano 21hr = $42
Andruw Jones 8hr = $16
Brett Gardner 5hr = $10
Nick Swisher 15hr = $30
Derek Jeter 4hr = $8
Francisco Cervelli 1hr = $2
Eduardo Nunez 4hr = $8
Ramiro Pena 1hr = $2
Eric Chavez 1hr = $2
Total = $334

Thursday, August 18, 2011

Really?

The Good

Jeter and Granderson had huge games. Jeter went 4-5 with a double, while Granderson went 3-4 with a double and a homerun. Hector Noesi pitched 3 scoreless innings in relief of Bartolo Colon.

The Bad

Bartolo Colon. 5 innings 5 runs, and yes there was a controversial call (see the ugly) but it wasn't like he was dominating before or after that.

The Ugly

Billy Butler hit a homerun that seemed to hit off the padding in the outfield wall and bounce back onto the field. By all accounts, excluding that of the umpires, that ball should be in play. Instead it was deemed a homerun, and after a review that call was upheld. If the Yankees had come back to win the game, and they had opportunities to do so, then this wouldn't be an issue, but it was a one-run loss and one of those runs is controversial. However, when Bruce Chen is on the mound and you don't capitalize on that, then you really don't deserve to win.

Granderson Closing in on Bautista

Granderson hit number 34 of the season, putting him just one shy of Bautista. Martin also hit a homerun so that's $4 for the babies.

Mark Teixeira 32hr = $64
Curtis Granderson 34hr = $68
Russell Martin 13hr = $26
Alex Rodriguez 13hr = $26
Jorge Posada 10hr = $20
Robinson Cano 21hr = $42
Andruw Jones 6hr = $12
Brett Gardner 5hr = $10
Nick Swisher 14hr = $28
Derek Jeter 4hr = $8
Francisco Cervelli 1hr = $2
Eduardo Nunez 4hr = $8
Ramiro Pena 1hr = $2
Eric Chavez 1hr = $2
Total = $318

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

If You Give Up 7 Runs to the Royals do you Really Win?

The Good

Nova recorded his 12th win of the season, which is good I suppose. Jeter continues to drive the ball with a double yesterday as part of a 2-6 game. Cano went 2-5 with a homerun and 4 RBI's. The Logan-Soriano-Robertson-Rivera train continues its success, pitching 3.2 innings of scoreless baseball. Posada came in as a pinch hitter, and drew a walk. You have to think that Posada can still help a team in some capacity somewhere.

The Bad

Nova gave up 7 runs in 5.2 innings of baseball and still got the win. This is a direct slap in the face to Burnett who had a commanding lead a few weeks back, but couldn't record the final out in the 5th to record the win. However, 7 runs to Kansas City is just not acceptable. He gets a pass though because he's been so good for us in the past.

The Ugly

The Yankees are in sole possession of first place over a team that's dominated them all season. Is that ugly for us or for the Red Sox? Maybe a little of both.

Bring the Ruckus!

Cano sure did. A solid piece of hitting after what looked like a 100-pitch at bat. That's 21 homeruns on the season for Cano, and $2 for the Children's Health Fund.

Mark Teixeira 32hr = $64
Curtis Granderson 33hr = $66
Russell Martin 12hr = $24
Alex Rodriguez 13hr = $26
Jorge Posada 10hr = $20
Robinson Cano 21hr = $42
Andruw Jones 6hr = $12
Brett Gardner 5hr = $10
Nick Swisher 14hr = $28
Derek Jeter 4hr = $8
Francisco Cervelli 1hr = $2
Eduardo Nunez 4hr = $8
Ramiro Pena 1hr = $2
Eric Chavez 1hr = $2
Total = $314

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Jeter May Not Be As Old As We Thought

The Good

Despite his best efforts, Burnett could not implode enough to continue his winless streak. Jeter went 3-5 with a triple and 3 RBI's. Rivera locked down his 31st save of the season, pitching a perfect inning in the process. The Yankees are now tied for 1st with the Red Sox, and are surprisingly competitive after their embarrasing display at Fenway Park last week.

The Bad

Our number 2 pitcher is pitching like a number 4 or 5. It was nice for Burnett to get a win, but it would be nicer if he could have a dominating game.

The Ugly

Eric Chavez went 0-5 with 3 strikeouts while Posada went 1-2 with a walk and 2 runs scored. He is 3-22 in his last 6 games with 8 strikeouts, and his average his dipped from .310 to .276. For the time being, you have to let Posada get his at bats.

I Believe That Children Are Our Future

But the Yankees do not. No homeruns means no money for the children at the Children's Health Fund.

Mark Teixeira 32hr = $64
Curtis Granderson 33hr = $66
Russell Martin 12hr = $24
Alex Rodriguez 13hr = $26
Jorge Posada 10hr = $20
Robinson Cano 20hr = $40
Andruw Jones 6hr = $12
Brett Gardner 5hr = $10
Nick Swisher 14hr = $28
Derek Jeter 4hr = $8
Francisco Cervelli 1hr = $2
Eduardo Nunez 4hr = $8
Ramiro Pena 1hr = $2
Eric Chavez 1hr = $2
Total = $312

Monday, August 15, 2011

A Weekend of Rain

The Good

Hughes pitched another solid 6 innings, allowing just 2 runs with 6 strikeouts for the win. Posada ate his Wheaties and went 3-5 in that game with 6 RBI's including a grandslam. Turns out he's not done yet. Granderson hit his 33rd homerun of the season breaking all notions of him not being a homerun hitter. Wade, Ayala, and Noesi impressed over the weekend with a combined 4 innings of scoreless baseball.

The Bad

5 runs off Sabathia? We don't play that!

The Ugly

We're down to a 5 man rotation for the time being after Freddy Garcia cut his hand. "I was playing catch with my son." Explained Garcia. "But not with a baseball. We were playing knife catch. Its perfectly safe if you catch it by the handle. You just have to time it right, but knife catch is a drinking game so my timing was a little off. I got cut, and now I can't throw a splitter. Its frustrating."

(Insert Wutang Quote Here: Reader Suggestions Welcome)

Granderson and Posada gave the babies a reason to rejoice with their homeruns this weekend. That's $4 to the Children's Health Fund, good for a bottle of Dymetapp.

Mark Teixeira 32hr = $64
Curtis Granderson 33hr = $66
Russell Martin 12hr = $24
Alex Rodriguez 13hr = $26
Jorge Posada 10hr = $20
Robinson Cano 20hr = $40
Andruw Jones 6hr = $12
Brett Gardner 5hr = $10
Nick Swisher 14hr = $28
Derek Jeter 4hr = $8
Francisco Cervelli 1hr = $2
Eduardo Nunez 4hr = $8
Ramiro Pena 1hr = $2
Eric Chavez 1hr = $2
Total = $312

Thursday, August 11, 2011

Yanks Take Series . . . Barely

The Good

Colon pitched a good six innings, allowing only two runs. Soriano continued his seventh inning dominance, proving the theory that he only pitches well in odd numbered innings. Robertson also lock down the eighth once again.

The Bad

Wade was bad today, putting two men on in the ninth and recording only one out.

The Ugly

Mo's first pitch left the house for a three-run home run. That's three shaky outings in a row now for our vaunted closer. Is it panic time? Probably not. But it's still ugly.

Today's Mathematics

Granderson hit his 32nd home run of the week, while Cano hit a grand slam in the seventh. $4 more for the kids.

Mark Teixeira 32hr = $64
Curtis Granderson 32hr = $64
Russell Martin 12hr = $24
Alex Rodriguez 13hr = $26
Jorge Posada 9hr = $18
Robinson Cano 20hr = $40
Andruw Jones 6hr = $12
Brett Gardner 5hr = $10
Nick Swisher 14hr = $28
Derek Jeter 4hr = $8
Francisco Cervelli 1hr = $2
Eduardo Nunez 4hr = $8
Ramiro Pena 1hr = $2
Eric Chavez 1hr = $2
Total = $308

I'll Take It

The Good

Nova, by all accounts, did not have his slider, but managed to pitch 6 innings of 3 run ball. A quality start in a game where the Yankees offense really came alive. Cano was a single short of the cycle and Granderson hit 2 homeruns breaking his career high in homeruns in a single season.

The Bad

Teixeira went 0-4. Where did you go Mark Teixeira? Since the Boston series you've gone 2 for 19 good for a .110 batting average.

The Ugly

At this point someone either has to go to the minors or to the bullpen, and who between Nova and Hughes should go? My vote is Hughes to the bullpen. He's been pitching better since his injury, but Nova's been pitching good all season. It was nonsense that they sent him down for Hughes in the first place.

This is Just a Hobby That I Picked Up in the Lobby

A couple homeruns from Granderson, a homerun by Cano, and it looks like treatable diseases are now reeling. $6 for the children at the Children's Health Fund.

Mark Teixeira 32hr = $64
Curtis Granderson 31hr = $62
Russell Martin 12hr = $24
Alex Rodriguez 13hr = $26
Jorge Posada 9hr = $18
Robinson Cano 19hr = $38
Andruw Jones 6hr = $12
Brett Gardner 5hr = $10
Nick Swisher 14hr = $28
Derek Jeter 4hr = $8
Francisco Cervelli 1hr = $2
Eduardo Nunez 4hr = $8
Ramiro Pena 1hr = $2
Eric Chavez 1hr = $2
Total = $304

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Yanks Lose Third in a Row

The Good

The weather's been pretty nice.

The Bad

Too nice. We could really use some rain-outs. The Yanks dropped their third in a row, losing to the Angels. Burnett didn't exactly instill us with confidence, and Mo messed up again. Not a good night.

The Ugly

There's been some discussion on the blog about whether these Yankees are afraid of Boston. As responsible journalists, we at the RJG decided to find out whether the Yankees were indeed afraid of their rivals. While in the clubhouse we approached Cano and asked, "Hey Robbie, we're going to Boston, want to come?"

"No! It's scary there!" he yelled as he ran to the trainer's room; a room off limits to journalists.

"Hey Tex," we asked, "we're thinking of a weekend trip to Fenway. You want to join us?"

"But that's where mediocre Boston pitchers play! No way, man! I'm not going!" responded Teixeira.

Finally we asked Granderson. We says, "Hey Grandy, there's an exhibit at the Boston Museum of Fine Art, you want to co . . . Really? You're going to play dead right now? You just opened your eye. Really? I can't #$@%&*$ believe this!"

It Can't Be All Bad, Can It?

No, it's not all bad. Granderson hit his 29th home run yesterday, netting $2 for the kids.

Mark Teixeira 32hr = $64
Curtis Granderson 29hr = $58
Russell Martin 12hr = $24
Alex Rodriguez 13hr = $26
Jorge Posada 9hr = $18
Robinson Cano 18hr = $36
Andruw Jones 6hr = $12
Brett Gardner 5hr = $10
Nick Swisher 14hr = $28
Derek Jeter 4hr = $8
Francisco Cervelli 1hr = $2
Eduardo Nunez 4hr = $8
Ramiro Pena 1hr = $2
Eric Chavez 1hr = $2
Total = $298

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Jeter's Gangster

Chad Jennings at the Lohud blog recently linked to this article written by a former Yankees batboy. Its a good article with some inside anecdotes, but one of the stories is of a time when former president Bill Clinton came to visit. All the players were very cordial in their greetings, until Jeter says to him in passing, "Hey, Mr. President, you staying out of trouble?" as he heads out to the field. This of course was post-Monica Lewinski, and therefore a valid question. You gotta love the fact that Jeter just wasn't impressed by stature, and he treated the former president of the United States like he would anyone else.

Monday, August 8, 2011

Embarrasment in Beantown

The Good

Freddy Garcia actually kept us in the game for 5 innings. He allowed just 1 run, and left with the game tied. That is about as well as we could have expected. Gardner and Nunez both hit homeruns, and all of Logan, Wade, Soriano, and Robertson kept the Red Sox off the board, allowing the Yankee offense to get into the game.

The Bad

The Yankee offense didn't get into the game. Teixeira and Granderson, our fearsom 3 and 4 hitters looked hopeless with runners in scoring postion all series, and Cano seemed to be an automatic out in those situations. Eric Chavez went 0-4 with 3 strikeouts as the DH. Good thing we replaced Posada.

The Ugly

Is Marco Scutaro in Mariano's head? I don't understand why the number 9 hitter gives him so much trouble. But it doesn't really matter. When you think of the Yankees this weekend, and really all season against the Red Sox, they're simply out classed. Our hitters look scared against their pitchers, and our ace looks scared against their lineup. Put a runner in scoring position, and you compound the problem. This Yankees team chokes under pressure.

Solace in Charity

At least we can take solace in the $4 going to the Children's Health Fund on Nunez and Gardner's homeruns.

Mark Teixeira 32hr = $64
Curtis Granderson 28hr = $56
Russell Martin 12hr = $24
Alex Rodriguez 13hr = $26
Jorge Posada 9hr = $18
Robinson Cano 18hr = $36
Andruw Jones 6hr = $12
Brett Gardner 5hr = $10
Nick Swisher 14hr = $28
Derek Jeter 4hr = $8
Francisco Cervelli 1hr = $2
Eduardo Nunez 4hr = $8
Ramiro Pena 1hr = $2
Eric Chavez 1hr = $2
Total = $296

Sunday, August 7, 2011

Sox Beat Up CC

The Good

The kids will walk away with some cash after this game.

The Bad

So will the Yankees. That's bull$#!%. They should forfeit their pay for that game after the way they played. Seven earned runs allowed by CC? Seven? He didn't even pitch that many innings! #@$& him!

The Ugly

They're laughing at us in Boston right now. Laughing! Why? Because we lost to John Lackey, that's why.

At Least Some Good Came Out of It

For somebody else anyway. Teixeira's home run in the 8th inning nets another $2 for the kids, despite being completely pointless. We don't judge.

Mark Teixeira 32hr = $64
Curtis Granderson 28hr = $56
Russell Martin 12hr = $24
Alex Rodriguez 13hr = $26
Jorge Posada 9hr = $18
Robinson Cano 18hr = $36
Andruw Jones 6hr = $12
Brett Gardner 4hr = $8
Nick Swisher 14hr = $28
Derek Jeter 4hr = $8
Francisco Cervelli 1hr = $2
Eduardo Nunez 3hr = $6
Ramiro Pena 1hr = $2
Eric Chavez 1hr = $2
Total = $292

Montero Coming Soon?

With Posada out as the regular DH, one has to think it's a possibility. However, as long as Posada is on the 25, that may prove difficult as the bench is not particularly deep and the Yanks may not have the flexibility to carry what is essentially a part-time DH in Montero (he will not be the back-up catcher any time soon).

Saturday, August 6, 2011

WTF?

Did anyone else know that Jim Thome is two home runs away from 600? I had no #@$*&% clue! That is an impressive feat. Almost as impressive as me writing about it shortly after reading about it. Now we can all know about it together.

Friday, August 5, 2011

Yanks Take First Game From Red Sox

The Good

The Yankees needed to beat the Red Sox, and they put in a team effort. In fact, all twelve pitchers on the active roster got in the game just so the team could pull out a win. Colon even pitched well enough not to blow it completely but also make clear he should return to the bullpen so that Nova can stay in the rotation. What a guy!

The Bad

No Red Sox players were hit by us in this game. I'm pretty sure we still owe them from something that happened that one time with that thing.

The Ugly

After the game Rafael Soriano was asked how he felt pitching out of the seventh. "You know what I don't get?" responded Soriano. "Hipster fashion. I mean, I get that your girlfriend is going to dress you, but does she have to dress you in her clothing? It's like they got lazy. Girlfriends, as a whole, just got lazy and now I'm not allowed to wear pants that fit. That's bull$#!%."

The Greed

The Yankees have decided to keep all the money to themselves, giving nothing to the kids. For shame!

Mark Teixeira 31hr = $62
Curtis Granderson 28hr = $56
Russell Martin 12hr = $24
Alex Rodriguez 13hr = $26
Jorge Posada 9hr = $18
Robinson Cano 18hr = $36
Andruw Jones 6hr = $12
Brett Gardner 4hr = $8
Nick Swisher 14hr = $28
Derek Jeter 4hr = $8
Francisco Cervelli 1hr = $2
Eduardo Nunez 3hr = $6
Ramiro Pena 1hr = $2
Eric Chavez 1hr = $2
Total = $290

Your Move Hughes

The Good

Ivan Fitzpatrick Nova. Yeah, that's his middle name. Nova pitched his best game of the season going 7.2 innings and striking out 10 while allowing just 1 run. Its fair to say that Nova is focused. Cano hit another homerun, as did Martin. With his two hits last night, Cano is the only regular batting over .300. Chavez had a pair of hits and is also above .300, but he missed the majority of the season with a broken foot. The Yankees need to harness the energy of the super nova and bring it into this series in Boston.

The Bad

Granderson and Teixeira combined to go 0-8 and are still behind Bautista's 33 homeruns. I hope they pick up their production in Boston.

The Ugly

Tonight the Yankees take on the Red Sox, a team they've gone 1-8 against this season. That's ugly.

Homers by the C and C Brothers

That's Cano and the Catcher. Their homeruns bring the Children's Health Fund $4 closer to their goal of attaining absolute health for all babies.

Mark Teixeira 31hr = $62
Curtis Granderson 28hr = $56
Russell Martin 12hr = $24
Alex Rodriguez 13hr = $26
Jorge Posada 9hr = $18
Robinson Cano 18hr = $36
Andruw Jones 6hr = $12
Brett Gardner 4hr = $8
Nick Swisher 14hr = $28
Derek Jeter 4hr = $8
Francisco Cervelli 1hr = $2
Eduardo Nunez 3hr = $6
Ramiro Pena 1hr = $2
Eric Chavez 1hr = $2
Total = $290

Thursday, August 4, 2011

What's Andy Pettitte Up To?

The Good

Yankee offense broke out for 18 runs last night, 10 against Chicago starter Gavin Floyd. The top of the lineup represented well in the offensive outbreak with Gardner going 3-5, Jeter going 5-6, and Granderson going 4-5. Granderson drove in 5 runs without the advent of a homerun. Luckily, Cano and Chavez hit homeruns to compensate, Chavez' being his first of the season, and first of his Yankees career.

Also good, our bullpen. Soriano got in and didn't give up our 11 run lead. Ayala and Wade were as usual.

The Bad

Teixeira only had one hit, and it was a triple. Just watching Teixeira leg out a triple is exhausting, I can only imagine having to be him and actually move that large frame of his around the bases. I suspect he'll be tired today, and that's bad.

The Ugly

In a game where you score 13 runs in 3 innings, its really on your starting pitcher to use the breathing room to be aggressive and get some outs. Burnett instead gave up 7 runs in the 4th before he got yanked. We need a number 2 starter, and we have a cast of 3 and 4's. That's good enough to win some games in the season, but not good enough to win in a playoff series. So my question is, what's Andy Pettitte up to?

Hit 'em High!

That's what Cano and Chavez did to net $4 for the babies at the Children's Health Fund. That's the first contribution of the season for Eric Chavez.

Mark Teixeira 31hr = $62
Curtis Granderson 28hr = $56
Russell Martin 11hr = $22
Alex Rodriguez 13hr = $26
Jorge Posada 9hr = $18
Robinson Cano 17hr = $34
Andruw Jones 6hr = $12
Brett Gardner 4hr = $8
Nick Swisher 14hr = $28
Derek Jeter 4hr = $8
Francisco Cervelli 1hr = $2
Eduardo Nunez 3hr = $6
Ramiro Pena 1hr = $2
Eric Chavez 1hr = $2
Total = $286

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Hughes Saves His Job

The Good

Hughes pitched six strong innings, allowing no runs against a team known for its offense six years ago. Coincidence? Teixeira had his 12th multi-homer game of his career in which he hit a home run from both sides of the plate. That is a Major League record. A completely stupid record, but a record. Russell Martin also hit a home run today, setting the Major League record for number of games in which you hit a home run when Mark Teixeira sets a new record for multi-home run games from both sides of the plate. But you know what was really good about this game? The fact that it was rain shortened means we didn't have to sit through three more innings of Chicago's offensive futility.

The Bad

Even when Hughes is pitching at his best, events conspire to prevent him from giving us more than six innings. This kid can't catch a break. Other than when his arm broke down, that is.

The Ugly

The words, "Starting for Chicago, John Danks."

I Picked Up The Cash Flow

Well, not so much I, but the kids got six more dollars today. Martin (1) and Teixeira (2) combined for three home runs in today's win.

Mark Teixeira 31hr = $62
Curtis Granderson 28hr = $56
Russell Martin 11hr = $22
Alex Rodriguez 13hr = $26
Jorge Posada 9hr = $18
Robinson Cano 16hr = $32
Andruw Jones 6hr = $12
Brett Gardner 4hr = $8
Nick Swisher 14hr = $28
Derek Jeter 4hr = $8
Francisco Cervelli 1hr = $2
Eduardo Nunez 3hr = $6
Ramiro Pena 1hr = $2
Total = $282

Jay-Z is Better than Kanye

The Good

Sabathia pitched 8 innings of 2 run ball without his best stuff. "I didn't have my slider early on in the game, and later on, I lost my screwball." Explained Sabathia. "Then I remembered that I never threw a screwball, so it wasn't really lost. Didn't stop me from throwing it though. Good thing Adam Dunn can't hit a screwball."

Granderson had a pair of doubles and drove in a run.

The Bad

Mariano didn't have his best stuff either. He just had his stuff. However, his stuff is still on par with advanced alien technology. The kind of advanced alien technology that stacked rocks on top of one another to build the stonehenge.

The Ugly

I really feel bad for Adam Dunn. He's batting .162 right now. And we were concerned about Posada as our DH.

No Such Luck

For the kids. No homeruns in last night's game means no donations for the Children's Health Fund. Maybe the Yankees will show that they care tonight.

Mark Teixeira 29hr = $58
Curtis Granderson 28hr = $56
Russell Martin 10hr = $20
Alex Rodriguez 13hr = $26
Jorge Posada 9hr = $18
Robinson Cano 16hr = $32
Andruw Jones 6hr = $12
Brett Gardner 4hr = $8
Nick Swisher 14hr = $28
Derek Jeter 4hr = $8
Francisco Cervelli 1hr = $2
Eduardo Nunez 3hr = $6
Ramiro Pena 1hr = $2
Total = $276