Thursday, April 29, 2010

The Yankees Take Another Series After Losing the First Game

The Good

The Yanks have won every series against an AL East opponent this season, despite losing the first game each time. Burnett was nasty, going 8 innings and allowing 0 runs. He struck out the last batter he faced on three pitches. Of course, the story of the game was Robinson Cano. He somehow managed to go 7 for 5, with two home runs, a double, the most amazing defensive play in the second inning, and delivering two babies between innings.

The Bad

I can't be sure, but I think Teixeira is currently possessed by Dr. Sam Beckett from Quantum Leap. It would explain why he's not hitting. I just hope Sam figures out what he's leapt here to do soon so we can get the Teixeira back who knows how to hit.

The Ugly

In the bottom of the first inning, Baltimore Orioles pitcher Brian Matusz became irate, throwing his glove in the dugout, knocking over a water cooler, and yelling out towards the field. RJG caught up with Matusz to find out why he was so upset.

"So I'm in the dugout, and I look up and Burnett is on the mound," Matusz explained. "The mound. He walked right up to it and stepped on the rubber. That's my mound! I know he's the more accomplished player, but you don't just step on someone's mound in the middle of the game. I may not be on his radar, but now he knows I'm there. It's just like he doesn't respect me and he doesn't respect the game!"

The Cano Show

Cano had two more home runs today. He now leads the Majors in ridiculousness.

Posada 5hr = $5
Granderson 2hr = $2
Cano 8hr = $8
Swisher 2hr = $2
Jeter 3hr = $3
Johnson 1hr = $1
Rodriguez 2hr = $2
Teixeira 2hr = $2
Thames 1hr = $1
Total = $26

The Joe West of Columnists?

I just read this nonsensical rant by Tracy "Where Am I" Ringolsby over at FoxSports.com.

Apparently there is no respect for the game among players, and A-Rod is simply the extreme manifestation of this phenomenon. Among the examples of A-Rod disrespecting "the game" was A-Rod's receipt of payments from Tom Hicks, owner of the Rangers. A-Rod's failure to void his contract in order to facilitate Tom Hicks's fulfilling of other, non-related (to A-Rod) financial obligations to Hicks's other employees, was a slap in the face to the game, and a blatant example of A-Rod's selfishness. If that makes sense to you, please get back on your meds.

Of course, he also mentioned A-Rod's recent mound-crossing controversy as a clear sign of A-Rod's manifest disrespect of baseball and others. An act Ringolsby's Sports Illustrated counterpart, Joe Posnanski, admits to having never heard was a violation of any unwritten rule in his long baseball career. But clearly, A-Rod hates baseball and everyone who plays, watches, or has ever heard of the game.

Then, Ringolsby, who apparently must live in the 'Real America' I always here so much about but seems to be accessible only via flux capaciter, cites the fact that opposing players talk to each other before games as a sign that no one respects baseball anymore. It could be that, or just the fact that it's not 1968 anymore. Maybe for his next column Ringolsby can write about how no current major leaguer served in 'Nam, showing not only a disrespect for the game, but this great nation of ours.

As long as I've been watching baseball, opposing players have talked to each other. When was the last time this was really an issue? Probably the same time it was last fashionably acceptable to wear a cowboy hat when not cast in a John Wayne movie. Judging from Ringolsby's picture (top of the column), he never got that memo. Perhaps Ringolsby should keep his opinions where his values are, far far in the past.

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Yankees Remember Who They're Playing

The Good

Sabathia went 7.2, throwing 111 pitches, allowing three runs, and earning his third win of the year. Robinson Cano is on another planet of awesome. He hit another home run in the third, bringing his total to 6 on the season. Both Johnson and Teixeira had a hit, firsts of the season for both of them.

The Bad

I called it. In the preview, I f-----g called it! Guthrie hit another one of our guys, taking Posada out of the game with a knee contusion in the second. In fairness, he gave up 7 runs (6 earned) when not throwing at us, so he might as well just hit people.

The Ugly

Sabathia was visibly upset, both on the mound and in the dugout, when he was taken out of the game in the eighth with two outs, and two men on. RJG caught up with him after the game to find out why.

"I just wanted to finish the inning," explained Sabathia. "The next guy who was coming up (Montanez) has the best walk to the plate music, Timbaland featuring Katy Perry. I love it. It's all, 'If we ever meet again!' It kept me going all game. But then they take me out, so I'm already upset because you hear the music better from the mound. Then, Joe brings in Joba, which I specifically asked him not to do because then the Os pinch hit a lefty. So now I don't even get to hear the music from the dugout. That's why I was so upset in the dugout too."

The Home Runs

Cano was the only Bomber with a home run today, putting the rest of his teammates to shame. Crying shame! They're all weeping as we speak.

Posada 5hr = $5
Granderson 2hr = $2
Cano 6hr = $6
Swisher 2hr = $2
Jeter 3hr = $3
Johnson 1hr = $1
Rodriguez 2hr = $2
Teixeira 2hr = $2
Thames 1hr = $1
Total = $24

Yanks Refuse to Lose, Lose Anyway

The Good

Hughes, who pitched without his best stuff (he refused to throw his fastball or curve), managed to go 5.2 innings and only give up one run. This is important because a big part of any pitcher's development is learning to win when you don't have your best stuff. It's something Joba never really showed us last year. Also, the offense played 9 innings of baseball.

The Bad

There were three costly errors late in the game. A base running error by Posada in the sixth, a botched play at short by Jeter, and a wild throw into center by Posada. The base running play prematurely ended an inning in which the Yankees had a chance to pad their lead a bit. The two fielding errors contributed to Baltimore padding their lead a bit.

The Ugly

Under a little known MLB rule, our bullpen pitchers actually receive their paychecks from the Orioles and not the Yankees. It's about the only thing that explains how incredibly poorly they pitched against a team with just 3 wins on the season, completely blowing up my sweep prediction. Logan came in to face one batter and walked him. Robertson had two strikes on the feared Ty Wigginton and then hit him with a pitch. Robertson seemed to have good control of his breaking stuff and no control of his fastball. Second time Robertson has imploded recently. Will he be this year's Jose Veras? Stay tuned.

At Least He Hit a Home Run

Posada did manage to hit a home run in addition to making bad plays in the field and on the bases. Plus he's part of the Core Four, so it's not his fault we lost, it's Robertsons.

Posada 5hr = $5
Granderson 2hr = $2
Cano 5hr = $5
Swisher 2hr = $2
Jeter 3hr = $3
Johnson 1hr = $1
Rodriguez 2hr = $2
Teixeira 2hr = $2
Thames 1hr = $1
Total = $23

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Yankees-Orioles Preview

The Yanks now prepare to play the last three games of a nine game road trip. Coming off their first series loss of the year, the Yankees prepare for their first second of the year, another series sweep. Baltimore is a young team, I think. I don't really know much about them, other than that Guthrie kid who throws hard and has a bad habit of hitting our players is still on the team, I think. I do know that the Os still play in Camden Yard, and that their city is most famous for crab cakes and drug based television series.

The Yankees will send Hughes, CC, and AJ against the Os, meaning we will be spared having to watch Javy Vazquez pitch like Joba Chamberlain circa 2009. Nick Johnson is probably still out with back pain, as is his wont. Expect the Yankees to put up a lot of runs, at least 3 over the course of the next three games. I'm sorry this review isn't more interesting, but we're playing the Orioles. The only way this series becomes compelling is if the Yankees decide to let their pitchers DH, which they should. Just to make it competitive. Actually, that still wouldn't make it competitive. Nick Johnson is going to have to play injured, and he'll have to play every infield position simultaneously. Now it's competitive.

Yankees Meet President, Effect Policy

Yesteryday, the Yankees had a once in a lifetime opportunity to meet the president of the United States of America. Although for Derek Jeter, Mariano Rivera, Jorge Posada, and Andy Pettitte it was a multiple times in a lifetime opportunity, it did not make it any less special. In fact, the core 4 used this opportunity to effect policy in the United States. Effective today, it is now illegal to fake the funk on a nasty dunk, a policy most famously supported by NBA star Shaquille O'Neil. There's also a motion to make Derek Jeter a national living treasure, the only motion ever to receive 100% support from democrats, republicans, and independents in the senate.

While the Yankees partied with the president, baseball continued. The Red Sox edged out Toronto 13-12, while Phillies slugger Ryan Howard signed a 5-year extension, and Phillies ace Roy Halladay took his first loss of the season. Through 3 starts with the Washington Nationals, veteran pitcher Livan Hernandez has a 0.75 ERA. Yes, all of this is only nominally interesting.

The Yankees enter a three game set at Baltimore tonight with Phil Hughes taking on Kevin Millwood.

Sunday, April 25, 2010

Vazquez Starting to Miss Atlanta, NL

The Good

Javy Vazquez left the game in the fourth, meaning we didn't have to watch too much of him. Both Posada and Cano had home runs in the game. Also, we're probably only a couple weeks away until there are calls for either Mitre, Ace, or Joba to be made a starter and Vazquez moved to the 'pen or another team.

The Bad

After watching yesterday and today's game, I don't think Marte and Cervelli work well together. Marte and Javy combined to allow eight runs. The Yanks dropped their first series of the season. The Angels, I think, have definitely shown that they are still the team to beat in the AL West.

The Ugly

Mo actually started to warm up today. Why? Because Girardi completely mismanaged the bullpen. Logan gave up a weak two out hit and was taken out too soon. Then Ace was taken out too soon to have Marte face Abreu. Then Marte imploded while Robertson waited to be called on in the 'pen. Then Mitre came in, not having pitched since some time around spring training, and struggled to make three outs. Great job, Joe.

Ugly Update

It turns out Joe couldn't decide whether to walk Morales in the seventh. On the one hand Morales is a very good hitter, on the other he is very cute. What's a girl to do? Here's a thought, the guy f-----g kills you, walk him!

The Wasted Effort

Both Posada and Cano hit home runs today. Good for them.

Posada 4hr = $4
Granderson 2hr = $2
Cano 5hr = $5
Swisher 2hr = $2
Jeter 3hr = $3
Johnson 1hr = $1
Rodriguez 2hr = $2
Teixeira 2hr = $2
Thames 1hr = $1
Total = $22

Saturday, April 24, 2010

Lo, the Stopper!

The Good

Andy Pettitte gave us 8 innings of one-run ball. Marte closed out the ninth with a fairly dominant performance. Cervelli not only managed to maintain his balance while wearing that huge helmet, he managed a two RBI hit with two outs. Cano had four hits and an RBI, Swisher had two RBI, and I had five beers. A good performance all around.

The Bad

While the Yanks have evened the series at one apiece, the rubber match is now in the hands of one Javy Vazquez. While he has yet to pitch particularly well, Vazquez did go to the zoo today to punch the rally monkey in the face. Perhaps this will end up being the difference.

The Ugly

Torii Hunter struck out today on a pitch he thought was inside. Fox broadcast the conversation he had with the home plate umpire, in which Hunter pulled the "I'm a veteran" card. It seemed particularly douchey, if not ugly.

Grounded in Anaheim

No home runs were hit today as air traffic is still shut down as a result of the volcano.

Posada 3hr = $3
Granderson 2hr = $2
Cano 4hr = $4
Swisher 2hr = $2
Jeter 3hr = $3
Johnson 1hr = $1
Rodriguez 2hr = $2
Teixeira 2hr = $2
Thames 1hr = $1
Total = $20

Damn Rally Monkey!

The Good

Swisher had a home run and Teixeira almost killed a guy. That's about it. Oh, and Joba rewarded his manager's confidence by giving away the game. That's just great.

The Bad

Teixeira almost killed a guy. He has no stomach for this sort of thing.

The Ugly

The Angels had that scene from The Untouchables on after the game where Sean Connery is explaining the Chicago way. "He put's one of your guys in the hospital, you put one of his in the morgue!" This could get ugly.

A Swish Army Rocket

Posada 3hr = $3
Granderson 2hr = $2
Cano 4hr = $4
Swisher 2hr = $2
Jeter 3hr = $3
Johnson 1hr = $1
Rodriguez 2hr = $2
Teixeira 2hr = $2
Thames 1hr = $1
Total = $20

Friday, April 23, 2010

Mound Stepping Stirs Controversy

In yesterdays 4-2 loss to the Athletics, an exchange between Alex Rodriguez and Oakland pitcher Dallas Braden has sparked much controversy. In the middle of the game, the Yankees third baseman did the unthinkable, he jogged across the pitchers mound. Braden, did not take that lightly, shouting many an expletive laden remarks towards A-Rod. After the inning, Braden returned to the dugout, and refused to eat the PBJ sandwich that was packed for him. He sulked in the corner, and said that he'd never play with Alex ever again. When he returned to the mound he called to Alex, drew an invisible outline around the mound and said that that was his moat, and everyone who crosses it would be eaten by his invisible crocodiles. Alex seemed unfazed, but Braden felt content to make his point.

Thursday, April 22, 2010

Can Somebody Please Explain This?

Please note the following headlines taken from Yankees.com, the Daily News, and the Post respectively:







Since when is a triple play a guarantee of victory? Yankees lose despite triple play? I've never really heard someone say after a loss, "the inability to turn a triple play really killed us today. If only we'd been able to turn one, then we would have had this game in the bag."

The strangest one, though, may be the Daily News headline stating that the Yankees wasted the triple play. Did they play an extra out that inning? You can't waste a triple play. A triple play records three outs. It can happen in an inning where the opposing team scores no runs, or in an inning where the opposing team scores ten runs. All it gives you is three outs. Unless you somehow manage to forfeit those outs, you can't waste a triple play.

How about, 'Yankees Lose; Turn Triple Play'? That headline seems reasonable. It doesn't suggest any causality between triple plays and winning. Not that any of this really matters, I just find these headlines a little weird. Plus it's 4am and I can't sleep, so pointless post complaining about nothing it is.

Yanks Blow Chance At Sweep

The Good

The Yanks turned a triple-play and Sabathia gave the bullpen a day off. Also, the game was over in about 2:10, decidedly unembarrassing and unpathetic. Lastly, Johnson started a game at first and he's still in one piece. I know I'm not the only one who lost money on that one.

The Bad

Two runs? That's bad. Sabathia's control was bad. And the strike zone wasn't exactly good. Particularly for Sabathia. I also don't quite understand pinch hitting Curtis Granderson in the sixth, but not pinch hitting Posada. To begin with, Thames, for whom Granderson pinch hit, was one of the few Yankees who'd done anything to that point. If you're going with offensive replacements, go for broke. Put your best offense out there.

The Ugly

When Braden walked off the field at the end of the sixth, he was yelling something at A-Rod. RJG was able to obtain a transcript:

Braden: How could you only muster one hit against us and no RBIs?! You're killing my fantasy team! Killing! My fantasy team is dying! Dying from A-Rod!

A-Rod: Who are you? Oh, wait. Are you the guy who parked my car? I didn't know you pitched.

Braden: You'll pay for this, A-Rod! Pay!

A-Rod: Will ten bucks cover it?

Braden: Actually, yeah. They don't pay us much here and my tank's on empty.

The Silver Lining

Teixeira and Thames both hit home runs today. At the same time. It was impressive.

Posada 3hr = $3
Granderson 2hr = $2
Cano 4hr = $4
Swisher 1hr = $1
Jeter 3hr = $3
Johnson 1hr = $1
Rodriguez 2hr = $2
Teixeira 2hr = $2
Thames 1hr = $1
Total = $19

Almost a No-No, Still a Win

The Good

Phil Hughes pitched 7 no hit innings, losing his bid to Eric Chavez in the eighth. Hughes finished the day with 7.1 innings pitched, having allowed only one hit and one run. Cano and A-Rod hit back-to-back triples. And Brett Gardner had a ninth inning, RBI single.

The Bad

There's no way around it, the A's were stealing signs in the eighth inning. How else do you explain that bloop, chopper single. I thought we were playing in Oakland last night, but apparently we were in Philly.

The Ugly

Hughes looked like he was about to cry on the mound after giving up that hit. Posada tried to comfort him, and Girardi came out and gave him his teddy bear and blanket. It worked, as Hughes struck out the next batter, but it was all a bit much.

No Homer For You!

The Yankees failed to hit any home runs last night. Settling for measly triples and RBI singles.

Posada 3hr = $3
Granderson 2hr = $2
Cano 4hr = $4
Swisher 1hr = $1
Jeter 3hr = $3
Johnson 1hr = $1
Rodriguez 2hr = $2
Teixeira 1hr = $1
Total = $17

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Joba Wins Competition for Eight Inning Role

Joba has been declared the new eighth inning set-up man for the Yankees. This settles the last question surrounding the Yankees' bullpen. Joba was relieved to hear that he finally had a concrete role with the team.

"Before I was just a relief pitcher," said Joba in the visiting clubhouse at the Oakland Coliseum, surrounded by reporters. "That's so nebulous. It means nothing. Now I'm a relief pitcher who pitches in the eighth, or when the team otherwise needs me. Finally I have some stability. Some structure."

Joba earned a hard-fought victory for eighth spot. Competitors in the 'pen included Joba Chamberlain and one Chamberlain, Joba.

"We weren't sure who we were going to go with," explained Girardi. "Joba was always right there, but so were Marte and Robertson. That's why we tested all those guys in the eighth inning of close games to see who would come out on top."

Girardi then added, "Just kidding, it was always Joba."

More Interesting Headlines

Saw this one over at Fox Sports:




First, you could have ended that headline after the first two words, and there would have been no argument from anyone. Simple statement of fact.

Second, that can't be good news for the Jays. Not that anyone had high expectations for them, but if you come back against the Royals' best pitcher, then lose to their bullpen, that's low.

Third, stopping that headline after the third word would have been highly inappropriate.

Yankees Hurt Oakland's Feelings

The Good

Javier Vazquez notched his first win of the season, and he did it without infertility drugs. While he only pitched 5.1 innings, and his fastball is still his change-up, he managed to hold the As to only three runs. A-Rod hit a home run, Swisher had a 2 RBI single, Teixeira had a hit, and Cano walked THREE times. I wouldn't go outside if I were you, there's probably four horsemen riding around out there.

The Bad

The three runs by Oakland all came on home runs. While the damage was obviously limited, you have to worry about a pitcher given to the long ball, especially after what happened in 2004. Hopefully, once Javy has his fastball and mechanics sorted out, this will be less of an issue.

The Ugly

The Yankees, a veteran team, laid a seven run beat down on the younger Oakland Athletics. "It wasn't fair," explained one distraught member of the Athletics. "They're older than us, and they used that to their advantage. We don't like playing with the bigger kids."

Examples of the Yankees using their age to their advantage included several instances of Yankees players holding As at bay by placing their hand on the A's player's head while the poor A's player swung away wildly, unable to make contact. The Yankees also ate ice cream in the presence of the As, refusing to share. The As, who have enjoyed a recent run of success, left the field hurt and whimpering.

One of A-Rod's Non-Blonde Bombshells

A-Rod was the only player with a home run in last night's game. He know has a lot of them in his career.

Posada 3hr = $3
Granderson 2hr = $2
Cano 4hr = $4
Swisher 1hr = $1
Jeter 3hr = $3
Johnson 1hr = $1
Rodriguez 2hr = $2
Teixeira 1hr = $1
Total = $17

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Maddon "Douchey" and May Have Hitmen After Teixeira

An anonymous source has just tipped the RJG off to some shocking new revelations. The anonymous report indicates that Rays manager Joe Maddon may in fact be "douchey", and may have hitmen after Yankees first baseman, Mark Teixeira. Although our source is the first commenter in the previous post, this is the most exciting revelation of the day. In response to the news Maddon had this to say: "No comment." An immediate phone call to Mark Teixeira was not returned, but we suspect that is because he is in hiding from the hitmen pursuing him. We expect this may turn the attention of federal investigators towards Teixeira and Maddon and further delay the A-Rod investigation, which brings further shocking news: Investigators will not be investigating A-Rod any time soon. Further shocking news includes Javier Vazquez's need to improve.

These shocking revelations will need to be enough to get us to the 10pm start time of tonights west coast game.

Apparently Vazquez Has Struggled

The news coverage today is largely centered around Vazquez's struggles. It is almost the only real topic of discussion around these Yankees, and it is the day after an off-day which generally lends itself to retellings of the obvious. If Vazquez had been pitching well, I'm guessing we'd be hearing either about soon-to-expire contracts or Phil Hughes. The Feds still haven't interviewed A-Rod as far as I know, so that's another possibility.

There's been some talk on the blog about Boston recently, so I figured I'd mention them briefly. The BoSox now play the Rangers, who were just swept in New York. The fact that the struggling BoSox were swept by a strong Rays team is hardly shocking, not that that's stopping me from enjoying it so much. How Boston fares against the Rangers, who are young enough that they make a lot of silly mistakes, will tell us more about the current state of the team.

In other AL East news, Joe Maddon has been told that he's not allowed to wear a hoodie in the dugout anymore. While Major League Baseball does not require that its managers be awake during games, it does expect them to look presentable. Maddon, however, seems to have been unfairly singled out. MLB also recently forbid managers from wearing mohawks, or 50s style military issue glasses.

Monday, April 19, 2010

Yankees-Athletics Preview

Here it is. The series we've all been waiting for. Or that nobody's been waiting for. Moneyball versus money (lots of it) and the balls to spend it. Both teams come into the series having won 9 games. The home team is young. The visitors are mostly grizzled veterans who have done things that most Athletics' players have only accomplished in some manifestation of MLB 2K. Of course, the Yankees throw Javier Vazquez in the first game, a pitcher who has struggled with stuff and location (pitching generally) through his first two starts. Will this be the start that turns things around? Teixeira seems to be starting to wake up, having had two consecutive games in which he drove in runs and hit the ball hard even when recording outs. This should be a good three games, seeing as both teams are playing well right now. The Oakland series is the first of a three city road trip in which the Yankees will also play the Angels and the Os. Until that series with the Os, this will have been a surprisingly tough April. We better end the season playing Royals, Pirates, Jays, and Toms River little league.

Quick Note on Mo

Mo has had a much better April than he has in the past few seasons. It seems that in the last three years or so, Mo struggled in April, only to pick it up and be Mo for the rest of the season. The big difference, however, has been that this year, unlike in those previous campaigns, the Yankees have actually needed their closer on a regular basis early. In previous years the Yankees have tended to either win by large margins or be down come the ninth during the first few weeks of the season, meaning Mo was under utilized and rarely came into a game for an actual save situation. Every pitcher, even a futuristic android like Mo, relies on routine to stay sharp. Mo has had that this year, pitching regularly and in save situations, which is why we're seeing such a different result in the first month of the season.

Sunday, April 18, 2010

Yankees Sweep

The Good

Pettitte immediately comes to mind. Eight innings, two runs. Very impressive. Teixeira hit a home run, Posada hit a home run, and Ramiro Pena had a two-run single. The Yanks knocked Rangers starter Rusty Harden (I think his name is Rusty) out of the game in the fourth. Cano had a sac-fly. Teixeira also looks to be on the verge of waking up. A home run today, an RBI single yesterday, and most of his outs were hard hit balls that didn't find holes. Eventually, that will change.

The Bad

Swish looked like he's been pressing a bit the last couple games. He came up twice today and swung at the first pitch just to record an out. Not good. Cano hasn't looked great himself the past couple games. A sac-fly is an RBI, but I'd like to see some more hits in these situations.

The Ugly

Joe West may have a point. Today the Yankees on numerous occassions hit foul balls out of the park, forcing the umps to waste time getting fresh balls from the ball boys. Also, and I don't know if you ever noticed this, but every time a Yankee pitcher enters the game, he walks to the mound and throws eight pitches before he'll even let the batter step in the box. It's just a waste of time.

The Hits Keep Coming

Posada and Teixeira both had home runs today. Awesome.

Posada 3hr = $3
Granderson 2hr = $2
Cano 4hr = $4
Swisher 1hr = $1
Jeter 3hr = $3
Johnson 1hr = $1
Rodriguez 1hr = $1
Teixeira 1hr = $1
Total = $16

Saturday, April 17, 2010

Yankees Win Another Series

The Good

The Yankees have taken another series behind a seven inning effort from AJ Burnett in which he allowed no runs. A-Rod hit his first home run of the season, while Teixeira managed an RBI single. Also, Ron Washington once used cocaine. Had he not done so, his team would probably lead the league in all categories, but he did. Cocaine. That's what he used.

The Bad

Alfredo Aceves allowed a three-run homer in the eighth. Cano had his first 0-for of the season. Also, Ron Washington tested positive for cocaine last year.

The Ugly

You may not know this, but Ron Washington used cocaine. For fun. That's what he used it for. Oh, and Joba's fastball wasn't in the mid-90s. WTF?

A First Time For Everything

For A-Rod it was the first home run of the season. It was also the first time he passed Mark McGwire on the all-time home run list. For Jeter, it was his first time hitting his third home run of 2010.

Posada 2hr = $2
Granderson 2hr = $2
Cano 4hr = $4
Swisher 1hr = $1
Jeter 3hr = $3
Johnson 1hr = $1
Rodriguez 1hr = $1
Total = $14

Yanks Beat the Rangers

The Good

It truly is a Yankees Universe. Not only did Sabathia completely dominate the Rangers, and not only did the Yankees score five runs, but planet Earth was even on their side, shortening the game and leaving Texas with no chance to come back.

The Bad

With another brilliant start by Sabathia while pitching to Cervelli, we may be watching part deux of last year's Posada-Burnett controversy, only this time it's only April. Hopefully, this doesn't become a big thing, but with the Yanks winning and not getting into any off the field trouble, it may soon be the only thing for the NY press to write about.

The Ugly

This one goes to the Post, who managed to mention Rangers Manager Ron Washington's past cocaine use twice in the first four paragraphs of a game review. Obviously, for a blog that tries to take a comedic view on things, nothing should be sacred. But this was in bad taste. I suppose I shouldn't expect more from the Post, after all it is owned by Rupert Murdoch, but aside from the headlines, the writing in the sports section I generally find decent. This was a low moment for them, and that's saying something.

Mother Earth Is a Cruel Mistress

While she did help us by shortening the game, the poor weather also led to no home runs by the Yankees. I guess the three and four hitters weren't the only ones at Yankee Stadium who hated children last night.

Posada 2hr = $2
Granderson 2hr = $2
Cano 4hr = $4
Swisher 1hr = $1
Jeter 2hr = $2
Johnson 1hr = $1
Total = $12

Friday, April 16, 2010

Chan-Ho to DL

The Yankees have placed Chan-Ho Park on the Disabled List. By placing Park on it, the Yankees hope to keep the list from being blown away by the wind. Now, obviously no one wants to see Park on the DL this early in the season, but at least it's only April (better to have your injuries early rather than late, think A-Rod, Posada, and Cervelli last year), and we're not paying him all that much (though still more than the entire payroll of the Marlins, Royals, and Pirates combined). Park has a history of hamstring injuries dating all the way back to last season, so you can bet the Yankees will be looking to cash in on the lucrative insurance they no doubt took out when they signed him.

Another Series Win

The Good

The Yanks have now won the first three series of the year, all against potential post-season rivals. Cano had two home runs and three RBI. Granderson hit two triples in a row (he had a ghost man on third so he could hit again). He also threw Matsui out at home plate. I didn't know players could eject other players, but apparently they can. Jeter had a solo shot of his own. And Hughes pitched a respectable five innings with two earned runs.

The Bad

Teixeira still doesn't remember how to hit. He does, however, remember how to walk, something he did three times yesterday.

The Ugly

The Angels no longer seem to be in the Yankees heads, and they're starting to show signs of desperation. Throughout the game Angels' players resorted to strange tactics in order to try to intimidate the Yankees, but were unsuccessful.

"It was weird," explained one fan at the game. "I mean, why would Mike Napoli come up to bat with his shirt off yelling something about Sparta? He's not even at home, he's not even in that good a shape. Just weird all around."

Showing Off the Guns

The Yanks hit three home runs yesterday, two from Cano and one from Captain Jeter. He's not a real captain, like on a boat, or Star Trek, but he still prefers to be referred to as Captain.

Posada 2hr = $2
Granderson 2hr = $2
Cano 4hr = $4
Swisher 1hr = $1
Jeter 2hr = $2
Johnson 1hr = $1
Total = $12

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

This Could Get Old

The Good

Swisher slugged an RBI triple, which seems really exciting! Jeter and Cano had a pair of hits each, and Chamberlain managed to get his ERA down with a scoreless inning. Marte also pitched a scoreless inning, but it will be lost to the times since the Yankees lost.

The Bad

The Yankee offense was shut down by Seattle cast away, and former Red Sox releiver, Joel Pineiro. The man threw 7 innings allowing one run against us and 7 strikeouts. He's my fellow countrymen so I can't be too mad at him, but I can be very mad at the Yankee offense for not scoring more runs against him. Its Joel Pineiro for crying out loud!

The Ugly

Javier Vazquez. Also my countrymen, but cannot let that excuse him. Not after 2004. His 5.1 innings of 4 run ball is a marked improvement over his 5.2 innings of 8 run ball he threw in his last start, but some remain unimpressed. However, following this trend, he should throw 5 innings of 2 run ball his next time out, which should be good enough for our offense.

The Long Ball That Chicks Supposedly Dig

No homeruns today as the only Yankee power came off a double by Cano, and a triple by Swisher. Swisher admitted that he could have made that a homerun, but simply could not find the love in his heart to do so.

Posada 2hr = $2
Granderson 2hr = $2
Cano 2hr = $2
Swisher 1hr = $1
Jeter 1hr = $1
Johnson 1hr = $1
Total = $9

Here We Go Again

I'd like to leave this issue alone, but I just can't help myself. Here is Tom Verducci on pace (not time) of game issues:

Baseball is moving in the wrong direction. It was a faster game when people had fewer entertainment options and longer attention spans. But now as the world is speeding up, baseball is slowing down for no reason at all. The three and a half hour game isn't a bad thing for baseball; it's the slow-moving three and a half hour game that is the audience-killer. And if things continue to play out at the current rate, and a generation of young hitters crib from such a style, games will continue to have more and more dead time added.

Is this the reason Baseball opted to have the Yankees and Sox be the sole game on opening day? It's not as though the length of Yankees-Sox is anything new. Did MLB forget? Or is it a fact that even casual fans would rather watch a long Yankees-Sox game than a faster game between any other two teams (even if one of them is the Yanks or Sox?). Nobody cares if Nick Swisher steps out of the box between pitches (an example of the "nothingness" that is slowing down the game cited in the column/interview with Bud Selig). I have never ever heard anyone watching a ballgame suddenly yell, "Stop adjusting your gloves and taking practice swings! I have a plane to catch!"

I don't care if games in the olden days were shorter. They were shorter because the 7-9 hitters were automatic outs (there's a reason closers pitched multiple innings back then). AL line-ups in particular are not built that way, especially if we're talking Yanks or Sox.

At this point, this issue is quickly becoming old men yelling at kids to cut their hair. It's pathetic and embarrassing.

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Yanks Take Home Opener

The Good

The day began with a very touching scene when the Yankees surrounded Matsui on the field for a big hug after Matsui received his ring. Other good things were the Yankees scoring 7 runs; Pettitte pitching 6 shoutout innings; and taking the first home game, something we failed to do last year against Cleveland of all teams.

The Bad

Bernie threw out the first pitch, and bounced it. We all love Bernie, so we can let that go, but can he at least retire already? He can't throw 60 feet, he's gonna come back and play outfield?

The Ugly

Mo had to come in to close the game because Dave Robertson couldn't wait to load the bases and then give up a grand slam to former Yankee, nice guy, and wallaphobe Bobby Abreu. The game was 1-7 in the top of the ninth and Robertson, the same Robertson who came into a bases loaded situation during the World Series (if I recall correctly) and got out of the inning not having allowed a single run, allowed four runs to come across the plate. That's ugly.

Ball Crushers

The Yankees continue to crush balls (really?), with both Derek Jeter and Nick Johnson hitting their first home runs of the season. The Bleacher Creatures wept, then called someone in the tier seats a gay slur.

Posada 2hr = $2
Granderson 2hr = $2
Cano 2hr = $2
Swisher 1hr = $1
Jeter 1hr = $1
Johnson 1hr = $1
Total = $9

The Most Important Matter of the Day

Today is the home opener and World Series ring ceremony. The most important question of the day, however, is how will Granderson respond when his name is called during the roll call. The roll call can make or break a player, unless that player is Jeter, who sort of flips his glove in the direction of the outfield whenever his name is called but is beloved anyway. Granderson, as I see it, has two choices. He can do a back flip, a la Ozzie Smith, or he can give the entire right field bleacher section the finger. I don't know if Granderson can do a back flip, but I assume that he can muster the necessary athleticism and dexterity to give the bleacher creatures the finger. From his position in center, the gesture will be clear to almost everyone, except those sitting in the upper left corner of the right field bleachers, who can see neither center field nor the tvs set up by the Yanks as a remedy.

Why the finger, you ask? Simple. First, aside from the roll call, the bleacher creatures are largely an annoying bunch who make sitting in that section of the park uncomfortable for anyone not in a biker gang or an amused (most likely male) teenager. They should be taken down a notch. Second, it is the most quintessentially New York thing he could possibly do. It would instantly endear him to the entire city, making everyone love him.

Sure, the moral police we call the press would have a field day. But Granderson could simply explain that it's all part of his process, and since he's playing so well that he is reluctant to change it. The baseball press can question anything, except a player's superstitions. Discussion over.

A Trade That Worked For All?

This morning I was thinking about how well Granderson has been playing for us, and how in the beginning there was some angst about parting with our star outfield prospect for someone like him. Usually in a trade that involves so many young prospects, you never know how it will turn out, and truthfully its too early to tell if this has worked out well. But there are some encouraging signs for all teams involved in this trade. Besides the amazing defense that Granderson has brought to centerfield, he has been off to a hot start batting .348 through the first two series of the season and belting a pair of homeruns. Contrary to popular beleif, Granderson has yet to wet himself when facing left handed pitching, granted its been a small sample size, and there are some lefties out there that are pant wetting worthy. Granderson has also stolen 3 bases, which really changes the dynamic of this team. Not only do you need to worry about the big bats in the lineup, now you need to be worried of some legitimate base stealing threats.

Ian Kennedy, one of the players moved in this Granderson trade, has made one start this season where he went 5 innings and gave up 3 runs, which doesn't sound that impressive. But he struck out 8 and walked none. In the NL, Kennedy may really flourish, though it is still early, and he still needs time to settle in.

Coke and A-Jax both ended up with Detroit, and have both been off to impressive starts. Coke has thrown 4.2 scoreless innings, and A-Jax is batting .313. That being said, he has 10 strikeouts in just 32 at bats, but this is apart of the growing process for him.

Its too early to tell, but at this point, it does seem like a very good trade for all the teams involved. I'll have to check back mid-season and reevaluate.

My brother and I were talking the other day about this shift we're having in the AL East. In the past, the Yankees have always been a second half team, that stumbles out of the gate each year making for a frustrating April-June. This year, they've been winning games early, and that with the slow starts of some of our bigger bats (Tex and A-Rod). The Red Sox on the other hand are having a rough start to their season, currently playing under .500. I know they won't continue playing that way, but its just strange to have this shift. Perhaps our early success is a result of having won our first championship in 9 years.

Monday, April 12, 2010

This Is Why

There's a reason the Yankees have their seemingly antiquated policies about facial hair and hair length. This is why:



If your screen isn't broken, then you're probably asking who is that and where can we find the beast that birthed it in order to put an end to its wretched existence. That's Phil Coke. That's what he looks like when he can grow a mullet and a creepy goatee. Let's all be grateful for the wise policy the Yankees have implemented.

Putting Your Money Where Your Mouth Is

Was Girardi really going to pull Sabathia on the verge of a no-hitter? Girardi has been preaching a team-first philosophy since last year, emphasizing that the Yankees are not about individual accomplishments. It obviously is a moot point after what happened in the game, but Girardi's insistence that Sabathia was not going to face another batter after Shoppach in order to protect Sabathia for the long haul is completely in line with Girardi's team-first emphasis. It may have made for bad press for a couple days, but Girardi's right that if we then lost Sabathia for a month or so because he let him throw 130 pitches in the second start of the season, we'd all hate Girardi for not showing more sense. It's a bit of a tough pill to swallow, but you're either about championships first or you're not. The Yankees, and Girardi, are.

Yanks Take Another Series

The Good

Burnett gave us 7 innings, allowing only 2 runs, despite a shaky first inning. Posada and Swisher both had home runs. Granderson continued to hit well and had an amazing defensive play in center that was stolen from him in a way that would make for the perfect set-up for any revenge themed movie.

The Bad

To the extent there was a negative, I suppose it would be that neither Teixeira nor Johnson managed a hit in the game. They did both reach base on walks though (one each).

The Ugly

Randy Choate, a former member of the Yankees organization, came in the sixth and promptly gave up a two-run home run to Jorge Posada. Everybody knows that, but what they don't know, is just how Jorge managed that feat. When he got up to home plate he turned to Dioner Navarro and said, "Hey, remember when you played for us but you sucked and we traded your @$$?" Navarro's eyes instantly welled up, distracting him from his pitch calling duties. Then Posada turned to Choate and yelled the same thing. We all know what happened next. Though I guess this probably should have led off the 'The Good.'

Bottoms Up

The bottom of the line-up continues to put in work, with Posada and Swisher supplying the power in yesterday's game. It will be interesting to see what happens when Teixeira and A-Rod wake up.

Posada 2hr = $2
Granderson 2hr = $2
Cano 2hr = $2
Swisher 1hr = $1
Total = $7

Road Trip Retrospective

Just thought I'd quickly mention two things that were interesting about this road trip for me. First, almost all our home runs have come from the bottom of the order, with only two coming from what would be considered the middle (Cano). The top of the line-up isn't without RBI, but the Yankees line-up seems even more balanced this year than it was last year. Granted, it's a small sample size, but you have to like what you've seen so far.

The other thing is that the Yankees managed to take both series on the road while losing the first game of each. As Curtis Granderson pointed out, that's hard to do. What I find interesting is that you usually get nervous when you lose the first game of any series, but particularly on the road, because it makes it tougher to take the series (you now have to win two in a row versus one of the next two). But I never had that concern with this team. And you get the sense that the Yankees were never worried that they wouldn't walk out of either Boston or Tampa Bay with the series in hand. There is an air of confidence around this team that is impressive, and possibly overwhelming for their opponents. I don't know whether it is the fact that most of these guys are coming off a championship run, or because they're just simply that good a team, but it's there. Hopefully, that's something that carries through to November.

Sunday, April 11, 2010

Road Trip Opinion Piece

Obviously it is a small sample size, but after six games I think Curtis Granderson will be this year's Mark Teixeira. Teixeira was the best move by Cashman from last season. As important as CC and AJ were to the success of 2009, Teixeira's impact on offense and defense made him the best signing of the bunch in my mind. Granderson is hitting, slugging, and making some great plays in center. Today he made the type of catch that, while ruled a hit, hasn't been seen in a center field patrolled by a Yankee in a long time. Both Johnson and Vazquez will prove to be important pieces this year, but I think when all is said and done that Granderson will clearly be the best move Cashman made for 2010 (granted, he's probably already considered the best move from last winter, but who cares, I needed something to write about).

Saturday, April 10, 2010

Yanks Take the Rays' Donkeys and Hand Them Back to the Rays

The Good

Isn't it obvious? Nick Johnson drew another walk, completely validating Bronny Cash's unwillingness to accede to Johnny Damon's and Scott Boras's unreasonable contract demands. Oh, and there was that almost no-hitter, the 10 runs, Mark Teixeira actually hitting the ball, great defense, tears in Joe Maddon's eyes, etc.

The Bad

Kelly Shoppach broke up CC's no-hitter like a complete jerk! I hate that guy.

The Ugly

Girardi claims that Shoppach was going to be CC's last batter regardless of whether he got on base or not. The long-term is the concern, not a historic and important career achievement, according to Girardi. Perhaps Girardi should start using a lower setting on his hair trimmer. Pull a pitcher after 8 no-hit innings? Crazy talk.

Robinson Crusoe

Robinson Cano is quickly emerging as the only Yankee who cares about children. He hit another bomb yesterday, ending the Rays' playoff hopes. "This is why we put him fifth," said Girardi. "Robbie cares about the children, and we need RJG's generous donations to help those children. It was the easiest decision I've ever made as manager."

Posada 1hr = $1
Granderson 2hr = $2
Cano 2hr = $2
Total = $4

Yanks Get Their [Donkeys] Handed to Them

The Good

Um . . . Well . . . There was the . . . um . . . first three innings or something. Joe West wasn't there, I guess that's good. Um . . . the weather was nice?

The Bad

Javy. Vazquez. In fairness, he only gave up 8 runs. If he was an NFL defense, we'd say that's not so bad. It's all a matter of perspective really.

The Ugly

Javy. Vazquez. Eight runs? Eight? Where's Kei Igawa when you need a starter who limits the damage? For goodness sake, just keep the ball down.

A Schilling If You Please, Sir

The Yankees refused to give any money to charity last night. No home runs were hit, and three panda puppies died as a result.

Posada 1hr = $1
Granderson 2hr = $2
Cano 1hr = $1
Total = $4

Friday, April 9, 2010

Pace of Games

Obviously, by now, we've probably all heard the comments by Joe West about the pace of games between the Red Sox and Yankees. (In case you haven't, here's a link to the article from our very own commentor, Rich Mahogany). Recently, Mo responded to those comments, suggesting Joe West find something else to do if he's too busy to sit through the whole game.

Putting aside issues of Mo's clear awesomeness, West's remarks and Mo's response have raised the issue of pace of games. Even John Heyman took a break from peddling misinformation on behalf of Scott Boras to chime in on the issue (he feels West's comments, while misguided and inappropriate, did have a measure of truth, and he blames Papelbon for the problem, which makes him my favorite columnist).

Most members of the media and Nobel laureates have been patiently awaiting RJG's response to the issue, so here goes . . .

We've been hearing about pace of game issues for a long time, but the truth is nobody gives a $#!%. Let's consider the following three scenarios: Going to a game; Watching a game on TV; and following a game online.

Going to a game: For our purposes, let's assume hypothetical fan X is going to a live Yankees game. If he lives in the city, he's probably taking the subway, which means at least one-half hour of travel time to the game and, because of foot traffic after the game, at least an hour to get home. If you're driving, even if you live at the Bronx County Courthouse, you've committed yourself to something between 2 and 8 hours of total travel time, most of it spent looking for parking and not moving in traffic. It's possible you even traveled to New York from a far enough distance that you preferred a train or plane, and to make a weekend of it. Point is, you don't care how long the game is (regardless of who they're playing), because you probably dumped your life savings into the two to four tickets you bought and you weren't hoping to squeeze the game into your lunch hour anyway.

Watching on TV: Let's assume a worst-case scenario from the 'games are too long' perspective, you have the YES Network and thus are pretty much subjected to every hour of every game of the season. Poor you. The length of the games forces you to stay up late every night. Pretty soon you're oversleeping, coming in late for work, getting fired, missing your mortgage payments, and turning all those mortgage back derivatives into toxic assets on the books of our most hallowed financial institutions. Thanks a lot, Yankees, you ruined the global economy. Unless of course viewers have some semblance of will power, only watch full games on weekends or when they otherwise have time, and are perfectly content to find out the final score for most games the next day since there are, after all, 162 of them. So, safe to assume, home viewers don't care either.

Following Online: This is the way most of us follow games, allowing us to keep tabs on our favorite team and avoid doing any work between the months of April and November. Frankly, you wonder what the hell the rest of the world does during the day considering that despite the existence of Gameday, America is still the most productive nation in the world. Half the purpose of following a game online is to get you through your workday, generally between 8 and 10 hours. The longer the game, the less time you have to refresh your email inbox and google your own name. Online viewers aren't concerned with pace of game, except when the games are over too quickly. Then they might have to actually do some work.

Now, we see that none of the viewers are actually complaining, but who is? Joe West is, that's who. And for some reason, in Joe West's world, we should care what he thinks. If MLB really has a problem, then the games could be shortened by cutting out or limiting TV breaks, as the aforementioned Rich has pointed out. They could also limit the problem by not letting ESPN begin coverage of big games at 8pm, forcing the games to end later than they need to. Of course, they could just blame players for taking too many pitches and trying to hold runners and things like that, you know, things which make teams successful. Either way.

Yankees-Rays Preview

As the Yanks get prepared to play the second lap of their toughest stretch of the season (Boston followed by Tampa Bay followed by Anaheim? Seriously?), and particularly since yesterday was an off-day which generated absolutely no news, we thought it important to preview the series against the Rays.

The Yanks

You already know these guys fairly well. The big story line here is that Javy Vazquez will be trying to make amends for the what happened in 2004. Well, as long as he doesn't give up a grand-slam on his first pitch of the game, mission accomplished.

The Yanks are coming off a series win against the Red Sox, and now have a chance to firmly establish themselves as the team of the week if they can succeed against the Rays, to whom we now turn.

The Rays

The Rays are a young and dynamic team. All of their players were either handing you movie theater popcorn or semi-competently filling your order at McDonald's within the last three years. Most of them no longer require the use of a retainer. Now they're major leaguers, and a team that will threaten for second place in the division (first if both the Yankees and Red Sox give up).

All this should make for a good series, but it's April so it could be a completely awful show of baseball. You never know this time of year, which is what makes it so exciting.

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Yanks Take Rubber Match

The Good

Obviously Pettitte, Park, and Granderson all played big roles in this game. But I'd like to highlight Granderson's two home runs to right field in this series. This is certainly a good sign for a lefty who plays in Yankee Stadium. I think it's safe to say we can expect an air show from this guy over the course of the season.

The Bad

Whenever Papelbon blows a save or leaves a game with runners on, he sits in the dugout with this ugly look on his face. I mean, don't get me wrong, he's already ugly, but he manages to somehow get uglier. Then we, the viewing public, have to be subjected to regular shots of him as the rest of the game plays out. It's not only bad, it's unjust.

The Ugly

After Granderson grounded out in his last at-bat of the opener, Joel Sherman of the Post wrote a column in which he argued that Granderson would have to fight the legacy of Damon and Matsui, two guys the Yankees were always comfortable with in a big spot. Well, last night Granderson hit a go-ahead (and ultimately game winning) home run against Jonathan Papelbon, the same Papelbon against whom he grounded out in the opener. But Sherman still hasn't apologized (in writing or in person), retracted the column, or been fired.

The Power Surge

You may want to check and see whether your appliances are still working, because there has been a power surge on the Yankees. Well, not really. This team is basically built to knock the hell out of the ball, but I'm going with the power surge thing anyway. Granderson hit another home run against the defenseless Papelbon, who spent the rest of the game crying uglily.

Posada 1hr = $1
Granderson 2hr = $2
Cano 1hr = $1
Total = $4

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Yankees Even Series

The Good

In what seemed like forever, the Yankees finally won a game. Burnett pitched five innings, allowing four runs, three earned. Not great, but for the first start of the season, as good as you can expect. Posada and Burnett had dinner afterwards, even trading their pbj and fluffernutter sandwhiches respectively. Nick Johnson has a .500 OBP, all walks. It's not so much that he hasn't gotten a hit, he just doesn't feel like running. Joba pitched well in the eighth and Mo locked it down, making Jacoby Ellsbury look completely stupid in the process; payback for Ellsbury's steal of home last season against Mo's good friend Andy Pettitte.

The Bad

Last year the Yankees followed a World Series winning formula of losing eight games in a row to Boston, then going on to win the next nine out of ten. Only time will tell whether this new, bold strategy of winning games early pays dividends.

The Ugly

I don't even have to make this up today. David Ortiz, hitless so far this season, was asked by a reporter whether he was worried that these first two games would lead to talk of a slow start. His response?

"I'm not talking," Ortiz said before going on to talk. "You guys just wait for $#!% to happen, then you talk $#!%. Two #@$%*!& games already, there are 160 left, ain't that a #!&@#."

Ortiz must really miss Manny . . . and steroids, mostly steroids.

Chicks Dig the Long Ball

Cano hit a home run in the ninth, widely criticized in Boston as an unsportsmanlike padding of the score. Not cool.

Posada 1hr = $1
Granderson 1hr = $1
Cano 1hr = $1
Total = $3

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

New Lineup Sparks Controversy

Tonights lineup has been posted and it boasts a curious right-left pattern all the way down. "It was meant to confuse the enemy." Explained manager Joe Girardi. "You throw to a lefty, and then, what's this? A righty? Whoa, how do I adapt to this? Oh no a homerun!" Girardi continued.

But not all members of the Yankees are as excited for this lineup, which features Granderson batting 9th.

"First he takes my position in centerfield, and now he takes my place in the lineup!" Argued Brett Gardner. "Joe [Girardi] is going to hear about this."

A few minutes later we caught up with Gardner to hear how his talk with the manager went.

"Joe took it all in, and seemed to understand, but after I finished he told me 'You're new nickname is going to be Kinder-gardner! Get it!' Using a play on my name and the word kindergarten. It didn't make any sense, but I cried anyways."

This latest controversy comes on the heels of a devastating defeat that has left the Yankees winless on the season.

"Goodbye October." Said one Mets fan, but not in reference to the Yankees.

Focus on Posada and Burnett

With an off day yesterday, there was not much Yankees news to report on. Coverage, therefore, is largely focused on the relationship between AJ Burnett and Jorge Posada, which soured last year after some ugliness in the clubhouse.

"So I'm sitting in the clubhouse," explained one witness who asked to remain anonymous so that he could discuss the situation openly. "I'm looking in the mirror thinking to myself, 'I wonder if Kate will think this haircut makes me look like Jeter.' Then Burnett walks in with the yellowest Tonka truck you ever saw. It had the arm for digging in the sandbox, and a bulldozer. Posada's all 'Can I play with it?' But Burnett was like, 'Later, but you can be the first to use it after me.' Posada was really looking forward to playing with it. He left and when he came back Molina was playing with it. It did not go well from there."

Burnett and Posada, who had previously been best friends, were no longer talking. Posada even told CC Sabathia that Burnett had cooties, widening the rift between them. At the beginning of Spring Training, Joe Girardi took the two squabbling players aside and told them that they had to play nice together or not play at all. Since then the two have been observed sharing in the clubhouse, a gesture many see as a sign of caring.

Will Girardi's tough love approach pay off? Only time will tell. For now, however, Posada and Burnett are back on the same page.

Monday, April 5, 2010

Yankees Drop Opener

The Good

Posada scored the first run of the season on a home run in the second inning. Curtis Granderson also hit a home run in the same inning, coming on his first at-bat as a Yankee. The offense was alive and well, limiting Beckett to 4.2 innings of work and making his children cry.

The Bad

As Sabathia put it, he "nibbled too much." Sabathia continued, "By the end of the fifth, I was hungry. I had a bag of Cheez-its and Fig Newtons in my glove, and I was just nibbling too much, hands got greasy, left some balls over the plate. I was also upset because every time Jorge would toss the ball back to me he'd crush my Cheez-its. He didn't have to throw so hard, you know?"

The Ugly

As Granderson headed to the dugout after his second inning home run, one less than impressed Red Sox fan yelled out to him, "You suck, Granderson!" Granderson, seeing his first opportunity to get involved in the rivalry retorted, "Oh yeah, well you live in Boston and I live in New York City." The whole stadium fell silent as the realization of the inferiority of their city hit the Boston fans. Most didn't even cheer on the win from their home town team, too depressed to even bother.

"I spoke to him about it afterward," said Girardi to a distraught Boston media. "Sometimes, when you're in the thick of it, you say things that, while true, you don't mean. I told Granderson it's okay to strike back, but you don't need to go that far. You're trying to razz them, not hurt them."

Respect Jeter's Gangster Is for the Children

The Yanks lead the Majors with two home runs, one each from Granderson and Posada. I actually have no idea what's going on on the donations front, so I'm just going to tally some numbers and let my brother figure that out.

Posada 1hr = $1
Granderson 1hr = $1
Total = $2

Sunday, April 4, 2010

Finally!

Opening Day is finally here. After a long winter, we once again have something to talk about at the water cooler, prompting many Americans to return to work (hence the most recent jobs report). The Yankees begin the season looking strong, but with a string of minor injuries. More worrisome, however, are some of the unanswered questions hanging over the Yankees. Will A-Rod ever meet with the Feds? Will A-Rod start dating Sandra Bullock in the coming weeks? Will Montero get a September call-up?

Many teams would buckle under the weight of such questions, but not these Yankees. They are a team of high character guys who only care about core family values like increasing revenue and winning.

Fittingly, the Yankees begin their quest for number 28 by facing a team who haunted them in the first half of last year, their biggest rival, Boston. It should make for an interesting opening series, since the more pessimistic amongst us will have a chance starting from day one to make dire predictions about the Yankees chances this October.

Enjoy the return of Baseball, everyone!

Friday, April 2, 2010

Yankees Decide on Finishing Touches

It has been a long off season, and a seemingly long spring training, but with the season starting in just two days, the Yankees have done everything they have needed to do to be ready. After making decisions about their 5th starter, centerfielder, bullpen and bench, the Yankees are left to finalizing the finishing touches before the season starts.

"The last couple days of spring training aren't about the games. They're really just about the minor details that make a team great." Explained Yankees right fielder Nick Swisher. "Like for example, today I'm going to work on my hand shake with Robinson Cano. Its going to be a one hand, double tap, around the back, high five, point to the sky, point to each other, and fade away. We gotta have it ready by Sunday."

Other players were also putting finishing touches to their routines.

"I spent the entire spring trying to pick out my entrance song." Explained third baseman Alex Rodriguez. "I have it between 'Empire State of Mind' by Jay-z and the Superman theme song. I was leaning towards one, but basically I need to make up my mind by Sunday."

The players are not the only ones who need the last couple days of spring training to put the finer pieces together.

"I have a real problem on my hands." Explained manager Joe Girardi. "I mean, who do I have bat 8th? The lineup we have has 8 premium hitters and 1 number 9 hitter. So who do you have getting protected by Brett Gardner in the lineup? Someone has to. Balancing ego's is hard. Like last year when I put together the lineup, I would put numbers 1-4 in the lineup and then after that they'd be 4a, 4b, 4c and on. They all thought they were cleanup hitters! This year I think they'll catch on."

Thursday, April 1, 2010

Derek Jeter Releases 2010 Guide to all his Press Answers

Today, Yankees shortstop Derek Jeter released his 2010 guide to all his press answers. Its a useful tool members of the press can use for quotes throughout the 2010 season. Among some of the highlights are the following:

After a Win:

"I'm excited to win, but its one game."

After a Loss:

"We need to play better."

After an A-Rod controversy:

"He's our teammate."

Derek Jeter is pretty strict to the adherence of his quote guides. Last season a journalist was asking him questions, and he just told the guy a page number and walked away. The good news is, we already know exactly what Jeter will say in pretty much any situation next season. Here's to the 3 day countdown to meaningful Yankees baseball.