Thursday, August 30, 2012

Yankees Drop Series To Blue Jays

The Good

My lack of desire to blog about the Yankees has coincided with them playing frustratingly bad baseball. At least this way I don't have to pay daily attention to the crapfest they call 'playing'. We did manage some contributions for the kids: four home runs in the first game. Which we lost. Great.

The Bad

After pitching the greatest game in the history of baseball, CC Sabathia returned to pitch much like he has all season: below expectations. Sure, three unearned runs doesn't help, but pitchers are supposed to pick up their teammates when errors are committed. Ace pitchers especially. I don't want to hear it.

The Ugly

We lost Teixeira in this series, and the team is already reeling from various injuries. This can't continue. In fairness, the Rivera, Pettitte, and A-Rod injuries were freak things, but Tex is only good for about 5 months of baseball at this point and our entire roster is on the wrong side of 30. The answer? Trade for Joe Mauer. It's the only way.

More Money Than You Can Shake a Stick At

Believe me, we tried. The Yankees hit four home runs in this series. Two by Cano, one from Jeter, and one from Swisher. $8 more for the kids.

Raul Ibanez 15hr = $30
Nick Swisher 20hr = $40
Andruw Jones 13hr = $26
Derek Jeter 14hr = $28
Curtis Granderson 33hr = $66
Alex Rodriguez 15hr = $30
Robinson Cano 27hr = $54
Mark Teixeira 23hr = $46
Eric Chavez 13hr = $26
Russell Martin 14hr = $28
Jayson Nix 4hr = $8
Dewayne Wise 3hr = $6
Chris Stewart 1hr = $2
Ichiro Suzuki 3hr = $6
Casey McGehee 1hr = $2

Total 199 hr = $398

Sunday, August 26, 2012

Yanks Take Cleveland Series

The Good

The bullpen didn't embarrass us again and Curtis Granderson hit a home run.

The Bad

Derek Jeter failed to hit a home run, putting the all-time record further out of reach for the 38 year old shortstop.

The Ugly

The Yankees are now only four games up in the division, good enough for firstish place. That just won't do.

We Want the Power

And we got it. Another $2 for the kids, courtesy of Curtis Granderson.

Raul Ibanez 15hr = $30
Nick Swisher 19hr = $38
Andruw Jones 13hr = $26
Derek Jeter 13hr = $26
Curtis Granderson 33hr = $66
Alex Rodriguez 15hr = $30
Robinson Cano 25hr = $50
Mark Teixeira 23hr = $46
Eric Chavez 13hr = $26
Russell Martin 14hr = $28
Jayson Nix 4hr = $8
Dewayne Wise 3hr = $6
Chris Stewart 1hr = $2
Ichiro Suzuki 3hr = $6
Casey McGehee 1hr = $2

Total 195 hr = $390

Yanks Drop 2d Game Against Cleveland

The Good

The Yankees didn't trade away half their team so they could suck at a lower price point. So let me get this straight, players complain to management about an internal issue and management decides to ship half of them away? Looks like there are no whistle-blower protection clauses in Red Sox contracts.

The Bad

The Yankees were dominated by Justin Masterson, blowing a strong start by Kuroda. Why can't they score Kuroda any runs? Because they're jerks, that's why.

The Ugly

The Yankees are not jerks, I overreacted. They were unnerved, however.

"It's tough facing Masterson," explained one Yankee. "He looks like a giant baby out there. With a beard. It's #$*ing disconcerting! You look up, look away, next thing you know three straight pitches down the middle while you're admiring the third base foul line, then you go sit down. It's unfair man. You might as well have creepy clowns and $#!% pitching in the Majors if you're going to make us face this guy."

I Ain't Trynna Pay For This

And I don't have to, since the Yankees hit no home runs last night.

Raul Ibanez 15hr = $30
Nick Swisher 19hr = $38
Andruw Jones 13hr = $26
Derek Jeter 13hr = $26
Curtis Granderson 32hr = $64
Alex Rodriguez 15hr = $30
Robinson Cano 25hr = $50
Mark Teixeira 23hr = $46
Eric Chavez 13hr = $26
Russell Martin 14hr = $28
Jayson Nix 4hr = $8
Dewayne Wise 3hr = $6
Chris Stewart 1hr = $2
Ichiro Suzuki 3hr = $6
Casey McGehee 1hr = $2

Total 194 hr = $388

Friday, August 24, 2012

Yanks Win, Upstaged By Petty Rival

The Good

CC Sabathia's return from the DL unfolded like a soaring Biblical epic, the sort DeMille used to film on a back lot in Hollywood. Returning mere days after Tommy John Surgery, limited to a measly 100 pitches (about an inning's worth), and fueled only by his burning desire for victory, CC pitched 7.1 scoreless innings, marred only by a single run that scored, while Nick Swisher accounted for all three of the winning RBI. Oh what a story! Those who were present would tell their children, their children's children, and haunt the dreams of their children's children's children just so that the memory of this game would endure.

The Bad

All was not well, however, in Whoville. A division rival, still bitter that their 2007 World Championship had been upstaged by a Yankees third baseman, had been biding their time, waiting with bated breath for the right time to strike.

They didn't understand, you see. The third baseman didn't know. How could he? The Yankees win the World Series all the time, how big a deal could it be? But it was to these rivals. So they brewed. Plotted. Waited.

The Ugly

The rival leaked to the media rumblings of a trade. A mega trade. The biggest, most greatest, most excellent trade of all time. The Dodgers would become the Yankees of the West. The rival would have payroll flexibility and continued irrelevance for the foreseeable future. The baseball universe would focus its attention on Boston, not the Yankees and the greatest game ever played. Indeed, there were now two Yankees. Which one to watch? How will one tell the difference? The rival had played their hand well. Fiendishly well. It wasn't expected. It should have been expected.

We Have to Pay for This?

Yes, we do. That's what 'pledge' means. Nick Swisher hit another home run, garnering $2 more for the kids.

Raul Ibanez 15hr = $30
Nick Swisher 19hr = $38
Andruw Jones 13hr = $26
Derek Jeter 13hr = $26
Curtis Granderson 32hr = $64
Alex Rodriguez 15hr = $30
Robinson Cano 25hr = $50
Mark Teixeira 23hr = $46
Eric Chavez 13hr = $26
Russell Martin 14hr = $28
Jayson Nix 4hr = $8
Dewayne Wise 3hr = $6
Chris Stewart 1hr = $2
Ichiro Suzuki 3hr = $6
Casey McGehee 1hr = $2

Total 194 hr = $388

Thursday, August 23, 2012

The PED Question

We at RJG have been asked what we think of the fact that two former Yankees have been suspended while Ryan Braun walks free. Does the sport's drug-testing program suffer from the same anti-Yankee bias that the Mitchell Report did?

In the interest of responsible journalism, one must be fair to Ryan Braun. First, the container into which Ryan Braun's sample was deposited was clearly more bowl shaped than cup shaped. While it was still technically a cup, this called into question the integrity of the process. Can the container's shape affect the drug sample? Clearly.

Second, the sample in question came from Ryan Braun's penis, which, as all of his former female acquaintances can tell you, is notoriously unreliable. There is no way, therefore, to know whether his test result was accurate or a false-positive.

Melky Cabrera and Bartolo Colon, on the other hand, both tested positive for testosterone and were suspended for 50 games. They are both former Yankees, though that label is only significant in the case of Cabrera. Colon, after all, is more known for his time with every other team in baseball.

More significantly, both players play in California, a state notoriously close to Mexico. In Mexico, you can get just about any performance enhancing drug you want and easily trek it across the border. That's why body-builders hole up in California. It's not because they can workout by the beach, it's because they have an easy supply of steroids and other drugs nearby.

Braun probably juiced, but there are serious questions about the integrity of his test sample. Cabrera and Colon live next to the world's largest anything goes pharmacy and so their test was more likely to be positive. They're also not White and no one is trying to make them the face of baseball. Remember that the steroid issue only really took off when Barry Bonds made a serious run at the home run records, not Mark McGwire.

Had Cabrera and Colon been less tan, and more English proficient, and not lived so close to Mexico, they might have had a chance to escape punishment. But they're not and they didn't and so they get to rest for 50 games more than other players, granting them another unfair affirmative-action based advantage. And just before they both hit free agency!

There is another pressing issue in the RJG universe, regarding Derek Jeter's monster season at age 38. Two years removed from the worst season anyone ever had in baseball, Jeter's renewed Hamilton-like plate dominance has raised the suspicion of one Skip Bayless.

In fairness to Bayless, nowadays you have to at least wonder. Any player who is having success is probably juicing. In fact, if you can even catch up to a major league fastball, or throw one, you're probably a cheating bastard (I've checked the birth certificates, it pans out). It's really the only reason I never played past pee wee league. All the 11 year olds in my town just happened to weigh 180lbs? All of them?

Bayless is forgetting one thing, however: Jeter's gangster and that Skip Bayless is an all around piece of $#!%. Okay, two things. Now that I have raised the specter of Skip Bayless's piece-of-$#!%ness, please endlessly parse the accusation, liberal media.

Yankees Swept, But We Don't Feel Any Cleaner

The Good

Earth narrowly averted catastrophe when I flew into space and redirected an asteroid that was on a collision course with our planet. You're welcome.

The Bad

The Yankees dropped another game in which Phil Hughes pitched, only this time Phil Hughes pitched well. This guy can't catch a break! Could the conservative political views which we've reported (made up) be rubbing his teammates the wrong way, yielding a refusal to play behind the pitcher who now sports eleven losses? Yes.

The Ugly

After the game, Hughes was pleased with his performance, but not with the media's coverage of his favorite Senate candidate.

"It's unfair," explained Hughes. "Akin misspoke. He didn't mean 'legitimate rape' and this isn't a war on women the way it's being reported by the liberal media. What he meant to say is that all women are whores who just love to have abortions and any violence against them, whether sexual or otherwise, is a result of them having asked for it and that he hates them all. How is that a war on women?"

Not sure that Hughes understood the meaning of either the term 'war' or 'women', we just let it go. Because that's what we do in this country, dismiss noxious, hateful, and violent sentiments as mere politics and let it go.

The Captain Is on Fire

Even when angry at his far more conservative teammate, Jeter still couldn't help being the greatest player of all time, way better than Mike Trout. Another home run, another $2 for the kids.

Raul Ibanez 15hr = $30
Nick Swisher 18hr = $36
Andruw Jones 13hr = $26
Derek Jeter 13hr = $26
Curtis Granderson 32hr = $64
Alex Rodriguez 15hr = $30
Robinson Cano 25hr = $50
Mark Teixeira 23hr = $46
Eric Chavez 13hr = $26
Russell Martin 14hr = $28
Jayson Nix 4hr = $8
Dewayne Wise 3hr = $6
Chris Stewart 1hr = $2
Ichiro Suzuki 3hr = $6
Casey McGehee 1hr = $2

Total 193 hr = $386

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Yanks Take Red Sox Series, Blow White Sox Series

The Good

It's still baseball season, which means I can ignore all the Tim Tebow coverage a little longer. Also, the Yanks didn't roll over against their biggest rival.

The Bad

Why are the White Sox beating us up so bad? And why is every former Yankee ever failing the MLB drug-test program? Et tu Melky? Bartolo? I can't believe a career fourth outfielder didn't become baseball's best hitter overnight cleanly. I simply can't believe it.

The Ugly

We keep wasting Jeter home runs. I know, it seems like he hits them all the time nowadays, but he doesn't. In fact, he rarely does. He prefers to slap the ball into the outfield so he can show off his speed. Stop wasting the Captain's good efforts guys. Seriously.

Mo Money, Less Sick Children

Ichiro hit two home runs in the rubber match against Boston, Jeter has two home runs in the last two games, and Martin also added one of his own. That's a cool $10 more for the kids.

Raul Ibanez 15hr = $30
Nick Swisher 18hr = $36
Andruw Jones 13hr = $26
Derek Jeter 12hr = $24
Curtis Granderson 32hr = $64
Alex Rodriguez 15hr = $30
Robinson Cano 25hr = $50
Mark Teixeira 23hr = $46
Eric Chavez 13hr = $26
Russell Martin 14hr = $28
Jayson Nix 4hr = $8
Dewayne Wise 3hr = $6
Chris Stewart 1hr = $2
Ichiro Suzuki 3hr = $6
Casey McGehee 1hr = $2

Total 192 hr = $384

Sunday, August 19, 2012

Series Split Thus Far

The Good

On Friday, the Yankees clobbered their way to a win with 5 solo homeruns.  Hughes was passable, 7 innings and 4 runs, but seemed distracted by the rain.  "It was coming down from the sky, and it got me thinking, if aliens, UFO's and crop circles all come from the sky, does that make rain alien?" 

The Bad

David Phelps pitched marvelously yesterday, giving us 6.2 innings and recording 7 strikeouts while allowing 3 runs.  The offense backed him up with a measley run, a solo shot by Granderson.  That means we lost a game that we pitched well in, and hit a homerun in, and that has been our recipe for success all season.

The Ugly

Tonight's game is on ESPN, which means it starts at 8pm.  This is good for people who do not work Monday mornings, but not so good for me.

Homeruns Galore!

Although we only a win and a loss to show for it, we've hit 6 homeruns over these two games.  Whether or not the Yankees win it all this year, we can rest assured the children will be taken care of.

Raul Ibanez 15hr = $30
Nick Swisher 18hr = $36
Andruw Jones 13hr = $26
Derek Jeter 10hr = $20
Curtis Granderson 32hr = $64
Alex Rodriguez 15hr = $30
Robinson Cano 25hr = $50
Mark Teixeira 23hr = $46
Eric Chavez 13hr = $26
Russell Martin 13hr = $25
Jayson Nix 4hr = $8
Dewayne Wise 3hr = $6
Chris Stewart 1hr = $2
Ichiro Suzuki 1hr = $2
Casey McGehee 1hr = $2   Total 187 hr = $374

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Yanks Take Second Game Behind Kuroda Gem

The Good

The Yanks took another game from best team of all time, Texas, behind a strong pitching performance by Hiroki Kuroda and some back to back power from Swish and Tex.

The Bad

As they have all season long, the Yankees scored 100% of their runs by home runs, proving once again that they can't hack it in the postseason.

The Ugly

When the Rangers returned to the visiting clubhouse, they found a gift-wrapped box in the center of the room. Upon opening it, gasps could be heard as the players realized what was inside.

"It's and old baseball message," explained one veteran Ranger as he pulled out the content of the box, a wooden broom. "The Yankees are trying to sweep us."

Shortly thereafter a Yankee Stadium staff member entered, took the broom and the gift-wrapped box, and chided the Rangers for ruining long-time Yankee Stadium janitor Mike 'Sweepy' Logan's surprise birthday gift.

Who gets a janitor a broom for their birthday? That's #$&%@* up.

We'll Probably Get Audited

I don't think anyone's ever claimed a charitable contributions exemption like the one we're piling up. Two more home runs means 4$ more for the kids.

Raul Ibanez 15hr = $30
Nick Swisher 16hr = $32
Andruw Jones 12hr = $24
Derek Jeter 9hr = $18
Curtis Granderson 30hr = $60
Alex Rodriguez 15hr = $30
Robinson Cano 25hr = $50
Mark Teixeira 23hr = $46
Eric Chavez 13hr = $26
Russell Martin 12hr = $24
Jayson Nix 4hr = $8
Dewayne Wise 3hr = $6
Chris Stewart 1hr = $2
Ichiro Suzuki 1hr = $2
Casey McGehee 1hr = $2

Total 180hr = $360

Yanks Take Game 1 Against Texas

The Good

Phelps looks like a legitimate Major League starter and Derek Lowe 'lowe'red his ERA (see what I did there) with four innings of shutout relief work. A grand slam from Nick Swisher and another home run from one Eric Chavez were also good.

The Bad

The Yankees only managed eight runs against one of the top three teams in the American League. What gives?

The Ugly

Why hasn't President Obama congratulated the Yankees yet for having the best record in the AL East? Because he hates America? Probably.

I Give Money, Money I Got

Two more home runs from the bombers last night, one each from Swish and Chavez.

Raul Ibanez 15hr = $30
Nick Swisher 15hr = $30
Andruw Jones 12hr = $24
Derek Jeter 9hr = $18
Curtis Granderson 30hr = $60
Alex Rodriguez 15hr = $30
Robinson Cano 25hr = $50
Mark Teixeira 22hr = $44
Eric Chavez 13hr = $26
Russell Martin 12hr = $24
Jayson Nix 4hr = $8
Dewayne Wise 3hr = $6
Chris Stewart 1hr = $2
Ichiro Suzuki 1hr = $2
Casey McGehee 1hr = $2

Total 178hr = $356

Sunday, August 12, 2012

Yanks Take Weekend Series From Toronto

The Good

The Yankees took two of three games, and scored twenty-two runs in the process. The race to the bottom continues, with Nova seeming to pitch his way out of contention. I think it is fair to say that Hughes securely holds the lead. For now. . .

The Bad

Hughes gave up six runs in one inning. Why? Why has he betrayed us? These questions haunt my sleep.

The Ugly

Phil Hughes imploded for the second start in a row. Last time out, he had been disturbed by a change in national welfare policy. This time?

"Oh man," began an oddly excited Hughes, "I haven't been able to sleep since I heard the news! First Mitt was all like, we need to demean poor people's work ethic since we all know poverty is a choice and now Paul Ryan's on the ticket?! Now poor people will have to work because welfare is definitely gone. And social security, medicare, medicaid, and pell grants. But mostly, poor people are lazy."

Told Romney/Ryan would first have to win the election, Hughes did not appreciate the dose of realism, leading to this exchange:

Hughes: I'm not going to let you take this away from me. No. I feel real good right now and I'm not going to let this feeling get away.

Reporter 1: Like you let today's game get away?

Reporter 2: Ouch.

Derek Jeter: Burn.

Hughes: [Tear rolling down cheek] This interview is over!

Interesting Fact

Though the Yankees scored twenty-two runs over the weekend, they only hit four home runs. One would have expected a number more like fifteen, but no, only four. One each from Teixeira, McGehee, Jeter, and Cano.

Raul Ibanez 15hr = $30
Nick Swisher 14hr = $28
Andruw Jones 12hr = $24
Derek Jeter 9hr = $18
Curtis Granderson 30hr = $60
Alex Rodriguez 15hr = $30
Robinson Cano 25hr = $50
Mark Teixeira 22hr = $44
Eric Chavez 12hr = $24
Russell Martin 12hr = $24
Jayson Nix 4hr = $8
Dewayne Wise 3hr = $6
Chris Stewart 1hr = $2
Ichiro Suzuki 1hr = $2
Casey McGehee 1hr = $2

Total 176hr = $352

Friday, August 10, 2012

Yanks Split Series Against Detroit

The Good

The Yankees found a way not to blow two consecutive games, even though their pitching was less than stellar. Granderson already has 30 home runs, and it's not impossible, at this point, to think Chavez may end the season with around 20. Pretty impressive for a part-time player.

The Bad

Chavez told the media that he's concerned the Yanks won't make the postseason. His exact words were, "This team has no chance to make the postseason, Derek Jeter isn't that pretty in person, and Girardi's famous binder is filled with porn, not statistics. I don't think he's ever watched a whole game in his life."

The Ugly

Joe Girardi became infuriated in yesterday's game and got himself thrown out. RJG has attained a transcript of the conversation between Girardi and third base umpire, Tim Welke.

Girardi: We have no chance as a species to survive! I mean, we have these tech companies who spend countless man-hours perfecting search algorithms so that they can quickly and effectively organize a large body of continually changing information. What do they use this technology for? Mapping the cancer genome so we can find a cure?! No! They use it for targeted advertising, so that if you search for a pair of shoes on some website you can get shoe banner ads on every other website you visit! How stupid are we?!

Welke: I just bought a pair of shoes on the internet! How dare you mock our greatest consumer oriented achievement?!

Girardi: I'm protesting this game!

Welke: You can't protest this game because Google is awesome and your haircut is stupid.

Girardi: I'm protesting this game, and your face!

Welke: That's it, you're out of here!

Girardi: I like Dove Men+Care products. Ha! I just made your annual salary in two seconds. Enjoy your Motel 6 room tonight. Peace!

The More the Merrier

Three more home runs in the past two games, one each from Granderson, Teixeira, and Chavez. Nice!

Raul Ibanez 15hr = $30
Nick Swisher 14hr = $28
Andruw Jones 12hr = $24
Derek Jeter 8hr = $16
Curtis Granderson 30hr = $60
Alex Rodriguez 15hr = $30
Robinson Cano 24hr = $48
Mark Teixeira 21hr = $42
Eric Chavez 12hr = $24
Russell Martin 12hr = $24
Jayson Nix 4hr = $8
Dewayne Wise 3hr = $6
Chris Stewart 1hr = $2
Ichiro Suzuki 1 hr = $2

Total 172hr = $344

Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Yanks Drop Two to Tigers

The Good

With Pettitte's September return quickly approaching, the race to the bottom between Ivan Nova, Phil Hughes, and Freddy Garcia is in full-swing. This gives the games an all important element of drama.

The Bad

The Yanks are not playing well right now. In fact, they're bad. Yeah, they took a series from Seattle, but who doesn't? The only reason Seattle's record is so bad is because they don't get to play Seattle. Between the inconsistent young pitchers and the inconsistent old hitters, there has to be some pause about this team as the postseason approaches.

The Ugly

Phil Hughes swears he was ready to pitch last night, and through three innings that appeared to be the case. But then, something changed.

"I went into the clubhouse after the third inning and the TV was on. I saw this campaign ad and was like, 'oh $#!%'. Did you know President Obama ended the work requirement for welfare? I mean, doesn't the President know that the reason people are poor and need welfare is because they're lazy and refuse to work?! It's like, the job creators create jobs but people just go on welfare instead! I couldn't concentrate after that."

Girardi announced after the game that political ads would no longer be allowed in the clubhouse during games.

These Losses Are Still Costing Us

Eric Chavez homered last night, making sure the kids didn't go home empty handed. Sure, the kids would have preferred a win, but they get $2 instead.

Raul Ibanez 15hr = $30
Nick Swisher 14hr = $28
Andruw Jones 12hr = $24
Derek Jeter 8hr = $16
Curtis Granderson 29hr = $58
Alex Rodriguez 15hr = $30
Robinson Cano 24hr = $48
Mark Teixeira 20hr = $40
Eric Chavez 11hr = $22
Russell Martin 12hr = $24
Jayson Nix 4hr = $8
Dewayne Wise 3hr = $6
Chris Stewart 1hr = $2
Ichiro Suzuki 1 hr = $2

Total 169hr = $338

Monday, August 6, 2012

Yanks Take Weekend Series from Seattle

The Good

The Yanks took the weekend series from cross-country foe Seattle, finally getting some payback for being knocked out of the playoffs by them in 1995. It was a long time coming, and while most of the roster hadn't been born in 1995, historical memories die hard around this team.

The Bad

The middle game against King Felix Hernandez was frustrating. The Yankees were completely dominated by Hernandez, only to find out after the game that his patents of nobility had been forged and that he wasn't actually royalty. Immigration officials are said to be investigating and the U.N. has revoked King Felix's diplomatic status. More on this as it develops.

The Ugly

After the Yankees took the series, and revenge, team spokesman Curtis Granderson spoke to members of the media about his new favorite movie.

"Have any of you seen that movie with the picaninny surrounded by wild animals who says black things like 'I'm da man'? $#%& you white America."

More Home Runs than You Can Shake a Stick At

Or not. Only two home runs in this series, one each from Ibanez and Chavez, Eric not Hugo.

Raul Ibanez 15hr = $30
Nick Swisher 14hr = $28
Andruw Jones 12hr = $24
Derek Jeter 8hr = $16
Curtis Granderson 29hr = $58
Alex Rodriguez 15hr = $30
Robinson Cano 24hr = $48
Mark Teixeira 20hr = $40
Eric Chavez 10hr = $20
Russell Martin 12hr = $24
Jayson Nix 4hr = $8
Dewayne Wise 3hr = $6
Chris Stewart 1hr = $2
Ichiro Suzuki 1 hr = $2

Total 168hr = $336

Thursday, August 2, 2012

Yanks Drop Another Series to a Division Rival

The Good

The Yankees crushed the Os on Sunday, making us wonder where that offense was the first two games. Our ability to imagine is what separates us from the animals, so we were all reminded of our shared human dignity.

The Bad

The Yankees dropped another series. Also, after scoring five runs in the first against Chris Tillman on Saturday, Tillman turned into Nolan Ryan, circa whenever Nolan Ryan was dominating with an inside fastball. No one knows how the transformation occurred, but it did.

The Ugly

The Yankees have lost 9 of their last 12 and have lost two series in a row to a division rival. Then, today, long time New York resident Kofi Annan announced that he is resigning as U.N. Special Envoy to Syria. Some, including Annan, claim that his resignation follows the utter inaction on the part of the global community to address the violence of the Assad regime, but we at RJG know that he is simply fed up with the Yankees' utter reliance on home runs and current losing tendencies, and has resigned in protest. Thanks a lot Yankees, you just destroyed Syria.

We Still Hit Some Home Runs

Two home runs from Cano and 1 from Granderson over the last couple games. $6 more for the kids.

Raul Ibanez 14hr = $28
Nick Swisher 14hr = $28
Andruw Jones 12hr = $24
Derek Jeter 8hr = $16
Curtis Granderson 29hr = $58
Alex Rodriguez 15hr = $30
Robinson Cano 24hr = $48
Mark Teixeira 20hr = $40
Eric Chavez 9hr = $18
Russell Martin 12hr = $24
Jayson Nix 4hr = $8
Dewayne Wise 3hr = $6
Chris Stewart 1hr = $2
Ichiro Suzuki 1 hr = $2

Total 166hr = $332