Friday, September 26, 2014

It's Been an Honor

And just like that, one of the greatest Yankees of all-time ended his career at Yankee Stadium with a walk-off hit. I've been fortunate to see some great athletes in my time. Michael Jordan, Oscar De La Hoya, Mariano Rivera. Derek Jeter, however, is probably the best of the bunch. The other three had a level of absolute talent that Jeter never possessed. Jordan looked like he was playing a different sport altogether that the rest of NBA was trying to figure out as they went. De La Hoya had those hands and that capacity for smelling blood in the water that made him such a dangerous fighter. Mo had that cutter. He threw one pitch and almost no one ever hit it.

Jeter had . . . the spinning throw. It was less a god-given ability than a way to compensate for some of his defensive weaknesses. But that's just it. Jeter didn't have the best tools in the game, but he took the tools he had and crafted masterpieces with them, and that's all we'll ever remember. How many great Jeter moments did we get to watch? When he was on the verge of 3,000 hits, just recently having come off the DL, he stepped into a game against one of the best pitchers in baseball, hit a home run for number 3,000 and went 5-5. He may not have had the best tools, but he was the best of the artists. And when you have art, the tools matter a lot less.

Thank you Derek. Thank you for 20 seasons of masterpiece baseball.

Wednesday, September 17, 2014

Yankees Phone It In, RJG Looks to 2015

So it hasn't been the greatest year.  Neither for the Yankees, or for the RJG blog.  Many spectators would look at our blogging, and say that we've seemingly given up on the year.  The same could be said about the Yankees.  It's a shame that in the walk year of the most iconic Yankee player of our generation, the team would play as they have, but you just can't call these things.  Who would have thought that a reinvented offense with Beltran, McCann, and Ellsbury would struggle to score runs?  Now, while the Yankees continue to play out their season, they do so with one eye towards 2015.  With Jeter retiring, the core 4 is no more.  There are some decent to good players like Gardner, Betances and Robertson that are homegrown, but there really isn't anyone that is the face of the franchise.  A player who embodies the team's spirit, and has come up the ranks of the Yankees farm system.  That mostly has to do with the fact that our farm system has been awful for quite some time, and we are now reaping the results of what we've sown.  So what will 2015 look like?  Well, outside of whatever free agent splashes or trades we make, we have a returning group of Teixeira, Gardner, Ellsbury, McCann, and Beltran.  The two big openings are second base and short stop, and the Yankees will always look at improving their rotation.  And then of course, we have A-Rod.  I'm not going to malign the man, or even try to predict how he'll play in his return, but the only question I have is, will we have a team worth watching next year?  We've already watched two terrible seasons of Yankees baseball, propped up only by Mariano Rivera's final pitches, and Derek Jeter's last double plays.  I don't know what will keep Yankee fans engaged if the Yankees do not have a product worth watching on the field.  At what point do the Yankees accept that they've been building poorly for years, that the free agent splashes are getting boring, and that they continue to perpetuate the same problem of signing past-their-prime players only to have them break down on our watch and at huge costs?  Perhaps the Yankees need to take next season and rebuild.  Do a fire sale, and build this team from the ground up.  I suspect they are going to have a hard time filling seats until they have some homegrown talent we can be excited for again.

Friday, September 5, 2014

Late Inning Heroics Lift Yankees

The Good

Back to back homeruns by Teixeira and Headley tied and won the game for us last night in the 9th inning.  This gives us some momentum and although the Yankees haven't been able to capitalize on it in the past, they have yet another chance.

Also good, Jeter got us on the board with a 2-run double in the 3rd inning and later scored on a Beltran single to tie the game.

The Bad

Capuano couldn't stand up against his former team going 4.1 innings and allowing 4 runs.  3 of which came on homeruns to Ortiz.

The Ugly

Today we begin a series against first place Kansas City, as we continue our struggle to make our way into the second wild card spot.  3 years ago, that previous sentence would have sounded like baseball from another dimension.  One where the Yankees are subpar, the Royals are looking like division champions, and a second wild card spot exists to give hope to struggling teams.  This alternate dimension is our present reality.   Your mind has been officially blown!

The Yankees Flex a Little

Teixeira and Headley, the new bash brothers?

Brett Gardner 16hr = $32
Alfonso Soriano 6hr = $12
Kelly Johnson 6hr = $12
Carlos Beltran 15hr = $30
Dean Anna 1hr = $2
Brian McCann 17hr = $34
Yangervis Solarte 6hr = $12
Mark Teixeira 21hr = $42
John Ryan Murphy 1hr = $2
Jacoby Ellsubry 14hr = $28
Brian Roberts 5hr = $10
Derek Jeter 3hr = $6
Zoilo Almonte 1hr = $2
Zelous Wheeler 2hr = $4
Ichiro Suzuki 1 hr = $2
Chase Headley 4hr = $8
Francisco Cervelli 2hr = $4
Martin Prado 5hr = $10
Stephen Drew 2hr = $4

Total 128hr = $256


Thursday, September 4, 2014

An Ode To Kuroda

The Good

It may just be that with the season we've had, the small victories are magnified, but is anyone else impressed with the consistency and uninjurability of Kuroda this year?  He's the only opening day starter who hasn't spent vast portions of the season on the DL, and last night he put up 7 innings of 1 run ball to give us fans the impression that the Yankees actually do care about their season.  That combined with McCann's 4-4 night with a homerun and 3 RBI's, made for a Yankees win last night against the Red Sox.

The Bad

McCann has finally started hitting, but is it too little too late?  It could be that if continues this hot streak, he can help propel us into the post season, but man, where was this two months ago?

The Ugly

For the rest of the season we're going to have to hear about how Girardi needs to drop Jeter in the lineup, because he's not hitting in the two spot.  Jeter's certainly not hitting, but the Yankee's are not losing because of Jeter.  They're losing because Teixeira, McCann and Beltran have not been able to hit with any consistency this season, so much so that Gardner has been moved to the 3 spot to make up for their deficiency.  Yes Jeter's hitting .261 this season, but somehow that batting average is still in the top tier of our starting players.

McCann Can!

McCann can hit a homerun!  Yay!

Brett Gardner 16hr = $32
Alfonso Soriano 6hr = $12
Kelly Johnson 6hr = $12
Carlos Beltran 15hr = $30
Dean Anna 1hr = $2
Brian McCann 17hr = $34
Yangervis Solarte 6hr = $12
Mark Teixeira 20hr = $40
John Ryan Murphy 1hr = $2
Jacoby Ellsubry 14hr = $28
Brian Roberts 5hr = $10
Derek Jeter 3hr = $6
Zoilo Almonte 1hr = $2
Zelous Wheeler 2hr = $4
Ichiro Suzuki 1 hr = $2
Chase Headley 3hr = $6
Francisco Cervelli 2hr = $4
Martin Prado 5hr = $10
Stephen Drew 2hr = $4

Total 126hr = $252

Wednesday, September 3, 2014

Well That Didn't Take Long

The Good

Prado and McCann can hit! 

The Bad

Greene forgot how to pitch.  It's normal for a rookie to have these moments, and its part of the growing process, but it's coming at a really bad time as the Yankees continue to see momentum shift away.  It's never good to lose games against the last place team in the division.

The Ugly

I didn't take long for my optimistic predictions to be debunked.  One game to be exact.  One game doesn't define a season, but we've seen this game play out consistently throughout the year.  This could be the most uninteresting, underperforming star studded lineup the Yankees have ever put together.

Homeruns

Remember back when homeruns used to win us games?  Ah those were the days.

Brett Gardner 16hr = $32
Alfonso Soriano 6hr = $12
Kelly Johnson 6hr = $12
Carlos Beltran 15hr = $30
Dean Anna 1hr = $2
Brian McCann 16hr = $32
Yangervis Solarte 6hr = $12
Mark Teixeira 20hr = $40
John Ryan Murphy 1hr = $2
Jacoby Ellsubry 14hr = $28
Brian Roberts 5hr = $10
Derek Jeter 3hr = $6
Zoilo Almonte 1hr = $2
Zelous Wheeler 2hr = $4
Ichiro Suzuki 1 hr = $2
Chase Headley 3hr = $6
Francisco Cervelli 2hr = $4
Martin Prado 5hr = $10
Stephen Drew 2hr = $4

Total 125hr = $250

Tuesday, September 2, 2014

Home Stretch

We're officially in September.  The Yankees stand 4 games out of that 2nd wild card spot, and 8.5 games behind the Orioles for the division.  It's been an odd year.  4 out of our 5 opening day starters have hit the DL, and yet our pitching has been one of the strengths this year.  Our lineup, which was loaded during the off season with guys like McCann, Beltran, and Ellsbury, has been a real weak point.  As a fan, I hope that the Yankees make the playoffs in Jeter's final year, but the practical side of me just doesn't want to see a team that has played this poorly in October.  A turn around is possible, and would be very welcome.  The Yankees have a 9 game home stretch against the historical rival Boston Red Sox, the first place Royals, and the second to last Tampa Bay Rays.  If magic is going to happen, what better time to start than with a September home stretch kicked off by a series with Boston?  Just a few years ago, being 8.5 games out of first in September, with 7 games left to play against the first place team, was not at all insurmountable.  This year, we are desperately trying to hold onto an ever vanishing hope that we can over come a 4 game deficit for a second wild card spot.

That being said, I have been working on being more optimistic these days, so here's my baseless prediction: the Yankees will win the division starting with a home stand that takes 7-9 including a sweep of the Red Sox.  Remember that you heard it here first!

Monday, August 25, 2014

3 Wins Are 3 Wins

The Good

A weekend sweep of the White Sox places us a mere 3.5 games behind the second wild card spot.  You know, the wild card spot that didn't exist until last year, or in other words, the spot that formerly meant missing the playoffs.  But this is 2014, and perhaps a second wild card will help us see Jeter in one final playoff before he retires!

The Bad

It's been an easy season to be down on the Yankees, but mostly because they've been down on winning.  That being said, I am not going to complain about this 3-game sweep of the White Sox.  Our starters weren't the sharpest, but they got it done, and although the games were close, we managed to pull the wins out in late innings.  No complaints here.

The Ugly

I will complain however about a series loss to the Houston Astro's.  With the exception of McCarthy's stellar 9 inning shutout, the Yankees were hopeless against a team of players who were in Double A not that long ago. 

Mad Money

McCann's been getting hot of late.  I'll take a positive hitting trend at this point.

Brett Gardner 15hr = $30
Alfonso Soriano 6hr = $12
Kelly Johnson 6hr = $12
Carlos Beltran 15hr = $30
Dean Anna 1hr = $2
Brian McCann 15hr = $30
Yangervis Solarte 6hr = $12
Mark Teixeira 20hr = $40
John Ryan Murphy 1hr = $2
Jacoby Ellsubry 10hr = $20
Brian Roberts 5hr = $10
Derek Jeter 3hr = $6
Zoilo Almonte 1hr = $2
Zelous Wheeler 2hr = $4
Ichiro Suzuki 1 hr = $2
Chase Headley 2hr = $4
Francisco Cervelli 2hr = $4
Martin Prado 3hr = $6
Stephen Drew 1hr = $2

Total 115hr = $230

Monday, August 18, 2014

State of The Yankees

The Good

Since we last posted a game recap, a lot has happened.  At first, we went on a winning streak, taking 2-3 from Boston, 3-4 from Detroit, and carrying that momentum into game 1 against Cleveland where we scored 10 runs to take the first game of the series.  Within this time, Yankee pitching has mostly been good, pieced together as it is by children's dreams and Disney movie magic.

The Bad

After starting August with a quick winning stretch, the Yankees reverted to old ways, losing 5 games straight, mostly by not hitting.  They recently took a series from the Rays, but I'm placing that in the bad section.  The reason being that beating the second to last place team really shouldn't be the positive sign that we're seemingly taking it to be. 

The Ugly

Yankees owner Hal Steinbrenner recently told the Yankees to "Step it up".  It was good advice, but advice that shouldn't be coming from the man who pays you millions of dollars to play a game. 

Catch Up

Here's a month worth of homerun updates: we hit 16.


Brett Gardner 15hr = $30
Alfonso Soriano 6hr = $12
Kelly Johnson 6hr = $12
Carlos Beltran 14hr = $28
Dean Anna 1hr = $2
Brian McCann 13hr = $26
Yangervis Solarte 6hr = $12
Mark Teixeira 20hr = $40
John Ryan Murphy 1hr = $2
Jacoby Ellsubry 10hr = $20
Brian Roberts 5hr = $10
Derek Jeter 3hr = $6
Zoilo Almonte 1hr = $2
Zelous Wheeler 2hr = $4
Ichiro Suzuki 1 hr = $2
Chase Headley 2hr = $4
Francisco Cervelli 2hr = $4
Martin Prado 2hr = $4

Total 110hr = $220

Sunday, August 17, 2014

Yankees Do Stuff!

Oh. You're still here? Well Yankees have indeed done stuff since we last spoke. Mostly losing. Otherwise things have been well. The summer's been temperate, giving us a reprieve from the harsh heat we experienced in June. Sorry we haven't kept up as faithfully as in years past, but like the Yankees, we've given up during Jeter's last year. Zing!

Wednesday, July 30, 2014

Bats Come to Life Against Rangers

The Good

After taking a loss against Darvish on Monday, the Yankees responded by scoring 12 runs in yesterday's game.  For those who are counting, those 12 runs matches the total runs the Yankees have scored all season.  Incredibly, Gardner hit his third homerun in 2 days, and Teixeira got in on the action with a 2-run shot of his own. 

The Bad

It's tough seeing Brendan Ryan and Zoilo Almonte in the lineup back to back. They both played well, each driving in a pair of runs, so I'm not complaining about their performance, but it just goes to show that our options off the bench for bats are not great.

The Ugly

Our pitching was abysmal.  We scored 12 runs, and came very close to losing the lead and the game with Robertson on the mound.  It was an off night for the bullpen altogether.  Even Betances gave up a grandslam, though Whitley suffered the brunt of that on his ERA since he had loaded the bases.  Our bullpen has been a real area of strength so I'm not worried, but man, leave it to the Yankees to make a 12-run game a real nail biter.

Homeruns for Days

At least from Gardner, 3 total in the last 2 days plus 1 from Teixeira.  Not a bad addition to the Children's Health Fund.


Brett Gardner 13hr = $26
Alfonso Soriano 6hr = $12
Kelly Johnson 6hr = $12
Carlos Beltran 12hr = $24
Dean Anna 1hr = $2
Brian McCann 11hr = $22
Yangervis Solarte 6hr = $12
Mark Teixeira 18hr = $36
John Ryan Murphy 1hr = $2
Jacoby Ellsubry 8hr = $16
Brian Roberts 5hr = $10
Derek Jeter 2hr = $4
Zoilo Almonte 1hr = $2
Zelous Wheeler 2hr = $4
Ichiro Suzuki 1 hr = $2
Chase Headley 1hr = $2
Francisco Cervelli 1hr = $2

Total 94hr = $188

Monday, July 28, 2014

Missed Opportunities

The Good

The Yankees jumped out on Friday and despite a not so sharp outing by Kuroda, were able to get the bats swinging and took the first game of the series 6-4 against the Blue Jays.  This was helped quite a bit by Ichiro Suzuki's first homerun of the year, as well as a homerun by Beltran.  Headley went 3-4 that game, and scored 2 runs. 

Also good, Capuano made his Yankees debut on Saturday and went a respectable 6 innings allowing just 2 runs. 

The Bad

The first game of the series made me have hope that the recent Yankee success was not just a matter of beating up on weaker teams.  But then the rest of the weekend happened, and I'm back to not being so sure.  Somehow the Yankees weren't able to capitalize on a recent power surge (we hit 6 homeruns this weekend), and we ended up losing games that were entirely winnable.

The Ugly

A pair of defensive lapses on Saturday made the difference for the Yankees loss.  One of them was understandable.  McCann was playing first base, a position he's not entirely accustomed to, and in his attempt to stop someone from going home from third, he forgot to get the out at first base.  Roberts misplayed a pop up and couldn't field it cleanly afterwards.  This is apart of what has been frustrating about watching this team this season: when we pitch we don't hit, when we hit we don't pitch, and when we hit and pitch we can't field.

Homeruns Make the Difference for the Children

Even if they don't make the difference for the team. Beltran (2), Ichiro, McCann, Headley, and Cervelli made sure the kids went home satisfied. 

Brett Gardner 10hr = $20
Alfonso Soriano 6hr = $12
Kelly Johnson 6hr = $12
Carlos Beltran 12hr = $24
Dean Anna 1hr = $2
Brian McCann 11hr = $22
Yangervis Solarte 6hr = $12
Mark Teixeira 17hr = $34
John Ryan Murphy 1hr = $2
Jacoby Ellsubry 8hr = $16
Brian Roberts 5hr = $10
Derek Jeter 2hr = $4
Zoilo Almonte 1hr = $2
Zelous Wheeler 2hr = $4
Ichiro Suzuki 1 hr = $2
Chase Headley 1hr = $2
Francisco Cervelli 1hr = $2

Total 91hr = $182

Friday, July 25, 2014

Yankees Take Series From Rangers

The Good

The Yankees have now won 6 out of 7 games since the All-Star break, and last night continued some positive trends for the Yankees in the second half.  McCarthy went 6 innings allowing just 1 run, continuing the trend of our pitchers outperforming their stats.  Headley, McCann, Gardner and Cervelli each drove in a run, and the bullpen locked down the lead. 

The Bad

Despite the wins, the Yankees kind of look like a weak team bullying teams even weaker than they are.  The Rangers are in rough shape, and frankly we made them look tougher than they really were.  With the exception of Darvish, we faced 3 starters who came into this series with ERA's of 10.05, 5.10, and 6.37 respectively, and we barely managed to score runs off of them.  I will feel better about our mini-win streak if and when we can carry it through a series with a contending team. 

The Ugly

Recently, former bash brother Mark McGwire declined Jose Canseco's apology and attempt to make amends for outing him as a steroid user back in 2004.  McGwire said: "It's too late. I don't care to ever speak to him again,...What he did was wrong."  Sure, Canseco outing McGwire could be considered wrong, but so was using steroids and illegitimately breaking records of players who were clearly far better than he was, and whom he had no business being mentioned in the same conversation with.  McGwire clearly had no intention of coming clean about it on his own, and only came clean after he was outed.  So you'll have to excuse me if I see his refusal of Canseco's apology as hypocritical.  What does this have to do with the Yankees?  Absolutely nothing.  But it's baseball.

Get Used To It

We're winning games, but not with homeruns.  Good for the team, bad for the children.

Brett Gardner 10hr = $20
Alfonso Soriano 6hr = $12
Kelly Johnson 6hr = $12
Carlos Beltran 10hr = $20
Dean Anna 1hr = $2
Brian McCann 10hr = $20
Yangervis Solarte 6hr = $12
Mark Teixeira 17hr = $34
John Ryan Murphy 1hr = $2
Jacoby Ellsubry 8hr = $16
Brian Roberts 5hr = $10
Derek Jeter 2hr = $4
Zoilo Almonte 1hr = $2
Zelous Wheeler 2hr = $4

Total 85hr = $158

Thursday, July 24, 2014

Yankees Learn Rain Dance For The Win

The Good

It was a rain-shortened game, but we have to give credit where credit is due.  David Phelps went 5 innings against Yu Darvish, one of the best pitchers in the game, and came out on top.  The Yankees etched out a 2-1 victory with a Brett Gardner homerun giving us the go ahead.  It wasn't the most inspiring way to win a game, but we'll take it.  Considering that we just played a 14 inning game where every reliever was used, going 5 innings and giving the bullpen a rest is just what we needed.  Also good, Cervelli hit a pair of doubles, and Headley got his second hit as a Yankee.

The Bad

We beat Yu Darvish, gave the bullpen a rest, and did enough to win a game.  No complaints here.  If only we had more 5 inning games.

The Ugly

We got the win because the grounds crew couldn't get the tarp to cover the infield on time, and then there was no salvaging the field after the fact.  Ron Washington and Joe Girardi both felt it was too dangerous to play on.  They always say that winning is a team effort, so I'm chalking this one up to the part of the team that rarely gets acknowledged: the Yankee Stadium grounds crew.

One is Better Than None

And Gardner's career high 10th homerun of the season is enough to add $2 to the Children's Health Fund coffers.

Brett Gardner 10hr = $20
Alfonso Soriano 6hr = $12
Kelly Johnson 6hr = $12
Carlos Beltran 10hr = $20
Dean Anna 1hr = $2
Brian McCann 10hr = $20
Yangervis Solarte 6hr = $12
Mark Teixeira 17hr = $34
John Ryan Murphy 1hr = $2
Jacoby Ellsubry 8hr = $16
Brian Roberts 5hr = $10
Derek Jeter 2hr = $4
Zoilo Almonte 1hr = $2
Zelous Wheeler 2hr = $4

Total 85hr = $158

Wednesday, July 23, 2014

Walk Off Win For Yankees

The Good

Chase Whitley pitched a gem of a game, going 6 scoreless innings with 6 strikeouts without issuing a single walk.  The bullpen continues to look strong for the Yankees delivering 8 innings of relief while allowing just one run.  Ellsbury had the game tying hit in the 13th, and newly acquired Chase Headley won the game for us with a walk off single in the 14th. 

The Bad

I don't know if this season is just leaving me pessimistic, but I don't really see this as a good game for the Yankees.  If anything it further exemplifies just how awful this offense is, and how much of a burden we place on our bullpen.  First, we made Rangers starter Nick Martinez, who came into the game with a 5.10 ERA, look like Nolan Ryan.  After having him shut us out for 5.1 innings, we then continued our contest of offensive futility with the Rangers to see which team would be able to hit less than the other.  Chase Headley, who is unfamiliar with the team strategy, went in and got the hit to win the game.

The Ugly

Our bullpen is taxed, and we no longer have a work horse like Tanaka to spare our bullpen for us.  We may have to rely on our offense to win games, and we know how that goes.

Not Last Night Children

No homeruns for the kids. 

Brett Gardner 9hr = $18
Alfonso Soriano 6hr = $12
Kelly Johnson 6hr = $12
Carlos Beltran 10hr = $20
Dean Anna 1hr = $2
Brian McCann 10hr = $20
Yangervis Solarte 6hr = $12
Mark Teixeira 17hr = $34
John Ryan Murphy 1hr = $2
Jacoby Ellsubry 8hr = $16
Brian Roberts 5hr = $10
Derek Jeter 2hr = $4
Zoilo Almonte 1hr = $2
Zelous Wheeler 2hr = $4

Total 84hr = $156

Tuesday, July 22, 2014

Momentum Killers

The Good

Throughout this game, it seemed conceivable that we would win it.  That's a level of hope that hasn't existed all season long.

The Bad

At the end of the day, the Yankee offense couldn't score more than two runs to over come the deficit created by a number of on field errors.  A good offensive team can erase errors easily, but outside of Ellsbury, no one seemed interested in hitting yesterday.

The Ugly

Shane Greene didn't pitch poorly.  But he did make three errors on the field to bloat his pitch count.  His infield made 2 additional errors, and although none of them directly led to a run, they directly led to this team looking whipped and incompetent on the field.  In a time where we really can't afford a momentum killer, this loss is a punch in the gut.

I'll Take It

Ellsbury's been hitting the long ball of late, and the children rejoice!  That's $2 for the babies.

Brett Gardner 9hr = $18
Alfonso Soriano 6hr = $12
Kelly Johnson 6hr = $12
Carlos Beltran 10hr = $20
Dean Anna 1hr = $2
Brian McCann 10hr = $20
Yangervis Solarte 6hr = $12
Mark Teixeira 17hr = $34
John Ryan Murphy 1hr = $2
Jacoby Ellsubry 8hr = $16
Brian Roberts 5hr = $10
Derek Jeter 2hr = $4
Zoilo Almonte 1hr = $2
Zelous Wheeler 2hr = $4

Total 84hr = $156

Monday, July 21, 2014

Yankees Kick Off Second Half With A Sweep

The Good

It appears the Yankees listened to all those first half critiques, and did something about it.  This weekend, they did something they haven't been able to do all season: they pitched AND hit in the same game.  Ellsbury has seemingly taken the criticisms of not being Cano to heart.  He went 4-4 yesterday, and 2-4 on Friday with a homerun. 

Through two starts, Brendan McCarthy is looking to prove Cashman a genius again.  He went 6 innings of one run ball with 9 strikeouts and this out of a guy who allegedly pitches to contact.  Kuroda went 6.2 innings with 1 unearned run, and Phelps went 6.1 innings with 3 runs (2 earned).  All told, the Yankees pitched well, and hit well enough to take the win.

The Bad

McCann's walk off single yesterday was a popup that fell between two fielders.  It wasn't the heroic hit you dream of, but we'll take it.

The Ugly

Betances gave up a tying homerun yesterday in the 8th inning.  The homerun bloated his ERA to a whopping 1.54.  If the Yankees use the same approach they did with Nova while Phil Hughes was here, then Betances will be sent to Triple A to work on his stuff.

Not Bronx Bombing Yet

Beltran and Ellsbury hit homeruns, but just two over a weekend isn't quite Yankee-like.  For now however, we'll take the wins.

Brett Gardner 8hr = $16
Alfonso Soriano 6hr = $12
Kelly Johnson 6hr = $12
Carlos Beltran 10hr = $20
Dean Anna 1hr = $2
Brian McCann 9hr = $18
Yangervis Solarte 6hr = $12
Mark Teixeira 15hr = $30
John Ryan Murphy 1hr = $2
Jacoby Ellsubry 6hr = $12
Brian Roberts 5hr = $10
Derek Jeter 2hr = $4
Zoilo Almonte 1hr = $2
Zelous Wheeler 1hr = $2

Total 77hr = $154

Friday, July 18, 2014

Today We Resume Baseball

Today the Yankees begin the second half of the season against Cincinnati.  The All-Star break was nice, and seeing Jeter honored at the game was really nice.  I could only sigh with longing any time I saw Jeter and Cano hanging out together, a manly sigh mind you, but a sigh nonetheless.  The lack of offense has been a real issue with the Yankees, and it's hard not to look at Cano's .334 average and wonder what could have been.  I never thought the Yankees should have come close to that $240 million deal, but the Yankees played hardball at $175 million, when the economics of the game placed a guy like Cano in the $200 million contract range.  Now the Yankees are looking at an offense, restocked with players like McCann, Ellsbury and Beltran, that has been incapable of hitting themselves into a win.  We lose games when our pitchers pitch well, and we lose games when they don't. So for the second half of the season, we can try to restock our rotation, but what we really need is for the offense we already have to start hitting to their norms. 

In the meantime, in case you missed it, check out this clubhouse survey of the Yankees done by the Wall Street Journal.  Some of the answers are pretty comical!

Monday, July 14, 2014

Yankees Stumble Into All-Star Break

The Good

The biggest piece of good news from this weekend has to be the dominant performance of Shane Greene.  In his second major league start, Greene pitched 7.1 shutout innings, and recorded 9 strikeouts in the process against a team that has some solid hitters on it.  Of course, we've seen young pitchers look dominant before, only to have the league figure them out in due time.  The difference here is that Greene seems to have some versatility in his pitching.  In his first start, he seemed to be a sinkerballer who got a lot of ground outs.  Against Baltimore, his slider was recording regular strikeouts while still inducing the ground balls.  It'll be interesting to see if he can continue that trend.

Also good, Kuroda had a good start, going 7 strong innings and allowing 2 runs, while McCann has started hitting, and that can only be good news for this lackluster offense.

The Bad

The bad is that we lost the series against Baltimore, which would have been a great series to win going into the All-Star break. 

The Ugly

The ugly is that the biggest positive development on this team going into the All-Star break is the emergence of Shane Greene as a possible big league rotation contender.  After restocking the team over the off season we really haven't seen the results that our nearly half a billion dollars in commitments had inspired. 

Somehow the Yankees sit a mere 5 games out of first, so they remain in striking distance.  However, I really have no desire to see this team, as they now stand, in the postseason.  They look embarrassing, and against good teams, losing is a foregone conclusion.  This team lacks heart, and play whipped.  The Yankees need to use the second half to reinvent themselves.  Particularly the offense.  We are not hitting to the numbers on the baseball cards.  We have too many guys hitting under what we can normally expect from these guys.  It's really too late to salvage our rotation, so we're going to have to rely on our offense, which hasn't been showing up in the last few months.  If we can start hitting, maybe we can take advantage of our triple A rotation that has actually performed much better than we could have hoped for all things considered.

At Least There Were Some Homers

Johnson, Roberts and Gardner hit some long balls to put the Yankees on the charity board.  That's $6 more for the babies.

Brett Gardner 8hr = $16
Alfonso Soriano 6hr = $12
Kelly Johnson 6hr = $12
Carlos Beltran 9hr = $18
Dean Anna 1hr = $2
Brian McCann 9hr = $18
Yangervis Solarte 6hr = $12
Mark Teixeira 15hr = $30
John Ryan Murphy 1hr = $2
Jacoby Ellsubry 5hr = $10
Brian Roberts 5hr = $10
Derek Jeter 2hr = $4
Zoilo Almonte 1hr = $2
Zelous Wheeler 1hr = $2

Total 75hr = $150

Tuesday, July 8, 2014

Yankees Go Greene

The Good

The Yankees called up Shane Greene to make a spot start for our otherwise depleted rotation, and Greene seized the opportunity throwing 6 innings of 2 run ball, and carrying a no-hitter into the 5th.  The offense scored 5 runs, continuing a trend of hitting that is often times associated with major league caliber ball clubs.  Don't look now but McCann and Roberts have been slowly climbing out of their first half slumps, and continued that trend yesterday with 3 hits for McCann and 2 for Roberts.

The Bad

Former Yankee Nick Swisher hit a homerun yesterday to break up the no-hitter.  With his batting average at .198 right now, I can only imagine that the homerun was hit out of spite.

The Ugly


Apparently a fan is looking to sue ESPN, MLB, announcers John Kruk and Dan Shulman, and the Yankees for $10 million.  The charge is defamation of character and "intentional infliction of emotional distress", when the networks caught the fan sleeping during a game and made disparaging comments about the fan.  The only problem is that none of the disparaging comments that the fan alleges were used against him during the broadcast were actually used.  We'll see how far this one goes!

Power Outage

Apart of going Greene means using less power, and the Yankees took that to heart last night.

Brett Gardner 7hr = $14
Alfonso Soriano 6hr = $12
Kelly Johnson 5hr = $10
Carlos Beltran 9hr = $18
Dean Anna 1hr = $2
Brian McCann 9hr = $18
Yangervis Solarte 6hr = $12
Mark Teixeira 15hr = $30
John Ryan Murphy 1hr = $2
Jacoby Ellsubry 5hr = $10
Brian Roberts 4hr = $8
Derek Jeter 2hr = $4
Zoilo Almonte 1hr = $2
Zelous Wheeler 1hr = $2

Total 72hr = $144  


Monday, July 7, 2014

Twins Always Make Us Look Good

The Good

The Yankees took 3 of 4 from the Twins, including a win for Tanaka in his worst start of his MLB career.  Of course, his worse start was still better than most of the pitching we've seen out of the Yankees this year.  Phelps also pitched a good game for us giving up just 1 run over 7 innings, good enough for a win, or at least would have been if we weren't the 2014 Yankees.  But at least the offense came to life in the 3 other games, and despite the Yankees inability to hit that game they still scored 23 runs throughout this series.  Hopefully this will get the bats woken up.

The Bad

I'm happy with taking 3 of 4, but losing 2-1 on Phelps start on Saturday is tough.  We really need to find a way to win those close games.

The Ugly

The first heads have rolled!  Vidal Nuno was traded for Diamondbacks starter Brandon McCarthy who is allegedly a major league veteran.  Nuno struggled with a 5.42 ERA this season, though this really is just his second season on the big league level.  The Yankees saw something in McCarthy however.  Something others missed.  Because what I saw in McCarthy, was a 5.01 ERA, but clearly there is something gleaming underneath that bloated ERA that the Yankees saw as valuable.  Soriano was also DFA'd, to make room for some relief pitching.

Homeruns Galore!

Well kind of.  We hit three of them throughout this series.  Many thanks to Beltran, Ellsbury, and new addition Zelous Wheeler.

Brett Gardner 7hr = $14
Alfonso Soriano 6hr = $12
Kelly Johnson 5hr = $10
Carlos Beltran 9hr = $18
Dean Anna 1hr = $2
Brian McCann 9hr = $18
Yangervis Solarte 6hr = $12
Mark Teixeira 15hr = $30
John Ryan Murphy 1hr = $2
Jacoby Ellsubry 5hr = $10
Brian Roberts 4hr = $8
Derek Jeter 2hr = $4
Zoilo Almonte 1hr = $2
Zelous Wheeler 1hr = $2

Total 72hr = $144

Wednesday, July 2, 2014

:(

The Good

Kuroda pitched a great game.  He gave 8 innings of 2-run ball, while Jeter got the only extra base hit, and scored the only run.

The Bad

Jeter's two hits accounted for half of the total Yankee hits, and his double accounted for all of the power.  This offense is really bad.

The Ugly

It's really challenging to watch the Yankees lose great starts out of their rotation.  A lot of attention has been given to the fact that the rotation is riddled with injuries, and we need pitching, but at this stage, our offense is the worst performing part of this team.  We've dropped two Tanaka starts that were winnable, and now a solid 8 inning effort by Kuroda.

:'(

That's what the children look like after yesterday's power outage.  No money for the Children's Health Fund.

Brett Gardner 7hr = $14
Alfonso Soriano 6hr = $12
Kelly Johnson 5hr = $10
Carlos Beltran 8hr = $16
Dean Anna 1hr = $2
Brian McCann 9hr = $18
Yangervis Solarte 6hr = $12
Mark Teixeira 15hr = $30
John Ryan Murphy 1hr = $2
Jacoby Ellsubry 4hr = $8
Brian Roberts 4hr = $8
Derek Jeter 2hr = $4
Zoilo Almonte 1hr = $2

Total 69hr = $138

Tuesday, July 1, 2014

It Is Becoming Increasingly Difficult To Watch This Team

The Good

Phelps wasn't bad, and Roberts hit a homerun to tie the game in the 9th, which is typically described as being clutch.

The Bad

The rest of the Yankees were not clutch as they lost in the 12th inning, mostly because they couldn't hit to save their lives.

The Ugly

With every lost game, I'm finding it increasingly challenging to maintain interest in this team.  Two things keep me plugged in at this point: Derek Jeter's retirement year, and Tanaka.  That's about all I really am interested in here.

Gotta Take What You Can Get

That's what the kids are saying about the 1 homerun in last night's loss.  Kudos to Roberts for his generosity.

Brett Gardner 7hr = $14
Alfonso Soriano 6hr = $12
Kelly Johnson 5hr = $10
Carlos Beltran 8hr = $16
Dean Anna 1hr = $2
Brian McCann 9hr = $18
Yangervis Solarte 6hr = $12
Mark Teixeira 15hr = $30
John Ryan Murphy 1hr = $2
Jacoby Ellsubry 4hr = $8
Brian Roberts 4hr = $8
Derek Jeter 2hr = $4
Zoilo Almonte 1hr = $2

Total 69hr = $138

Monday, June 30, 2014

Yankees Drop Two of Three

The Good

Vidal Nuno reversed his recent trend of getting shelled, and put up 5.2 scoreless innings against the Red Sox.  It was enough to inspire the anemic offense to score 6 runs that night.  Tanaka pitched a complete game giving up just 2 runs, otherwise known as a great start.  Dellin Betances had another great relief effort, pitching 2 perfect innings.  His season ERA is down to 1.33.  The offense could very well be waking up from their long spring slumber.

The Bad

Though the offense seemed to wake up this weekend, they were noticeably absent from another Tanaka start.  Tanaka took a loss because the Yankees could not score 2 runs.  Just saying, that's pretty weak.

The Ugly

Yesterday's game was another wasted opportunity, this time by the pitching staff.  The offense performed, and put 5 runs on the board, but that was what Whitley gave up in 4 innings.  Shawn Kelley and David Huff gave up an extra 3 runs in the 5th. 

Could This Be A Sign Of Things To Come?

Johnson, Gardner, McCann, Beltran and Teixeira all hit homeruns this weekend adding $10 to the Children's Health Fund.  Could this be a sign of an offense awakening from a prolonged slumber to take the world by storm?  We'll find out.

Brett Gardner 7hr = $14
Alfonso Soriano 6hr = $12
Kelly Johnson 5hr = $10
Carlos Beltran 8hr = $16
Dean Anna 1hr = $2
Brian McCann 9hr = $18
Yangervis Solarte 6hr = $12
Mark Teixeira 15hr = $30
John Ryan Murphy 1hr = $2
Jacoby Ellsubry 4hr = $8
Brian Roberts 3hr = $6
Derek Jeter 2hr = $4
Zoilo Almonte 1hr = $2

Total 68hr = $136

Wednesday, June 25, 2014

Wowser

The Good

Those gritty, scrappy Yankees clawed their way back from a 6-0 deficit to lose 7-6.  It's unclear whether Disney will make a movie about this come back story, but early reports aren't looking positive.

Also good, Betances continues to quietly dominate the middle innings.  He did so yesterday with 2 scoreless innings, bringing his season ERA down to 1.43. 

The Bad

How about losing 7-6 after clawing your way back from a 6-0 deficit?  No?  Not enough!?  Well did I mention that those 6 runs all came against our starting pitcher? 

The Ugly

Many people are blaming Jeter for some defensive mishaps that led to yesterday's loss.  Our response is that Jeter hit a homerun yesterday.  What else do you need?

Middle Infield Keeping Babies Healthy

Jeter and Roberts each had a homerun yesterday, marking the first time in either of those players lives that they've hit a homerun in the same game while playing for the same team.  Unimportant you say?  Well how about the $4 that just went to heal babies?  Is that unimportant too!?  Is it?!!?!

Brett Gardner 6hr = $12
Alfonso Soriano 6hr = $12
Kelly Johnson 4hr = $8
Carlos Beltran 7hr = $14
Dean Anna 1hr = $2
Brian McCann 8hr = $16
Yangervis Solarte 6hr = $12
Mark Teixeira 13hr = $26
John Ryan Murphy 1hr = $2
Jacoby Ellsubry 4hr = $8
Brian Roberts 3hr = $6
Derek Jeter 2hr = $4
Zoilo Almonte 1hr = $2

Total 60hr = $120

Tuesday, June 24, 2014

Well That Was Disappointing

The Good

Teixeira's wrist appears to be okay.

The Bad

Rough game for the Yankees last night, as they lost 8-3 to a team they played so well against last week.  The offense has fallen flat over the past 3 games, but I appreciate Teixeira's now-customary solo homerun during blowouts. 

The Ugly

Although the offense isn't really doing much, the pitching over the past three games has been abysmal.  Whitley had been pitching well, but yesterday he went 3.1 innings and gave up 8 runs.  That is a tough deficit to come back from.

Just Don't Harm the Babies!

Despite the mini-losing streak following our mini-win streak, Teixeira's solo homerun ensured that the babies would not be harmed by the Yankees offense. 

Brett Gardner 6hr = $12
Alfonso Soriano 6hr = $12
Kelly Johnson 4hr = $8
Carlos Beltran 7hr = $14
Dean Anna 1hr = $2
Brian McCann 8hr = $16
Yangervis Solarte 6hr = $12
Mark Teixeira 13hr = $26
John Ryan Murphy 1hr = $2
Jacoby Ellsubry 4hr = $8
Brian Roberts 2hr = $4
Derek Jeter 1hr = $2
Zoilo Almonte 1hr = $2

Total 60hr = $120

Monday, June 23, 2014

Yankees Win Some, Lose Some, Onto Toronto

The Good

The Yankees swept Toronto last week, which was pretty great.  They even took the first game against Baltimore, stringing together a 4 game winning streak against division rivals.  It looked promising that the Yankees could be warming up and getting back in this.

The Bad

Then this weekend hit.  Saturday, the Yankees lost 6-1 with Vidal Nuno giving up 5 runs across 6 innings.  It wouldn't have mattered much seeing as Teixeira's solo homerun was all the offense they could muster.  Tanaka was taking the mound on Sunday, so it was safe to expect a win, but then the Yankees forgot how to hit.  Tanaka gave a solid 7 inning, 3 run performance (not his best, but a good start nonetheless), but then Warren gave up 4 runs in an inning of work.  Once again, it wouldn't have mattered much since the Yankees scored 0 runs, in an 8-0 loss.  Luckily, we're taking on Toronto again, and if last week is any indication, we can hopefully put some wins under our belt.

The Ugly

The Yankees have had a disappointing season, but when I look up at the standings, we're only 1.5 games out of first place.  This can only mean that we're in a disappointing division, which totally devalues every win we have against AL East teams.  Our next 9 games are against division rivals, which now just makes me sad.

We May Not Blog As Much, But We Still Care About the Children

Since we last updated the homerun totals, there have been 8 homeruns, but seeing as we haven't updated the homerun totals since June 11th, this really isn't that impressive.  I remember when the Yankees used to hit 8 homeruns in one game.  Where's A-Rod when you need him.

Brett Gardner 6hr = $12
Alfonso Soriano 6hr = $12
Kelly Johnson 4hr = $8
Carlos Beltran 7hr = $14
Dean Anna 1hr = $2
Brian McCann 8hr = $16
Yangervis Solarte 6hr = $12
Mark Teixeira 12hr = $24
John Ryan Murphy 1hr = $2
Jacoby Ellsubry 4hr = $8
Brian Roberts 2hr = $4
Derek Jeter 1hr = $2
Zoilo Almonte 1hr = $2

Total 59hr = $118

Friday, June 13, 2014

Yankees Sweep Mariners

Normally, a game review follows a game, or—lately anyway—a series. But since we're on our way out, I figure it's okay to do whatever I feel like. What are you going to do? Stop reading? Well, our abrupt retirement from blogging super-stardom has rendered your only protest tool utterly moot, leaving me free to rant maniacally about whatever I want, however I want. So here's my thoughts after three wins against Seattle.

Seattle is the only municipality in the country whose minimum wage actually allows those earning it to live within its city limits in something resembling a home, and not a slightly larger prison cell. So beating up on Seattle for three straight days doesn't feel like a victory, but like something the As will now make us do penance for.

It's still weird seeing Robinson Cano play for someone else, but I must admit that Roberts hasn't been the train wreck I was expecting. But I can't help but feel that it's troubling that I've become untroubled by Roberts. Is this the best we can hope for? Roberts is a fine player, but it's the overwhelming mediocrity that seems to make Roberts a good pickup. If McCann could hit, and Beltran could be 10 years younger, and Ellsbury could stop running into things, Roberts would seem far less impressive than he has (which is slightly impressive).

Speaking of Ellsbury, if he disdains his life and well-being this much, he should just develop a drinking problem like the rest of us. He really needs to stop running into walls at full speed if the Yankees are to have any hope of selling Legends Seat tickets.

Lastly, Tanaka is amazing. I can only imagine he'll win the Cy Young Award, and that next year, he'll win the Tanaka Award, formerly known as Cy Young, but changed for obvious reasons. He's 25, so he's automatically the face of the franchise when Jeter retires. Sorry D-Rob, the torch has been passed, and the instructions are in Japanese. (I'm a metaphor mixologist, in case you were wondering).

Thursday, June 12, 2014

RJG Speaks to Brian Cashman, It Doesn't Get Weird, Then It Does

The news of our impending retirement took many by surprise, and after spending a few days returning phone calls to world leaders and other concerned parties, it was time to dust off the old satellite video phone and call good friend of the blog, and official relationship guru, Brian Cashman. The following is a transcript of our conversation.


BC: Hello?

RJG: If it isn't the Bronstrosity from down under! And by 'down under' I mean southern Connecticut. How the hell are you?!

BC: I'm okay. Your retirement announcement came as a bit of a shock.

RJG: That's nice of you to say, I didn't think you'd be particularly aware of/affected by it.

BC: A shock it didn't happen sooner. BOOM!!!

RJG: Oh man, you got me good with that one! Almost as good as you got all those Yankee ticket holders with this wonderfully uninteresting team you've put together. Let me ask you, when you set out to cure insomnia, did you expect it to be this easy?

BC: Even as you ride into the sunset you can't help but provoke me, can you?

RJG: Oh, I'm not trying to provoke you Cashtrastophe. I'm just calling to have a pleasant conversation about how much you suck at your job. A job you're paid millions to do. That's all.

BC: You bloggers and Yankee fans are all the same. You have no idea what it is to put together a team. To give it life. Have it grow inside of you. Birth it. Watch the placenta be mopped up by an orderly.

RJG: Is that how you describe looking at a list of All-Stars from a decade ago and signing them to long term contracts? When is Vlad Guerrero coming out of retirement?

BC: Ha. Ha. It's so funny I forgot to laugh.

RJG: You just laughed. Twice. For a supposedly data savvy GM you're surprisingly bad at counting. Is that the problem, that you can't count? Or count on players signed by you?

BC: Surprisingly, our data actually does indicate it's the latter.

RJG: Whaddaya mean?

BC: We brought in Nate Silver to do some number crunching for us, and he's noticed that a player's on-field effectiveness has an inverse relationship to the amount of time that player's agent has spent negotiating with me. It's called the Cashman Effect, named after Hans Cashman, the scientist who discovered it.

RJG: I thought Nate Silver discovered it.

BC: No, if that was the case then it would be named after me, suggesting I'm ineffective at my job.

RJG: That is exactly what I'm suggesting.

BC: I could see how you could make that mistake, but you're forgetting that I had a very public affair with a crazy woman that cost me my marriage.

RJG: No I haven't! That's the second most interesting thing about you. The first is that anybody would agree to marry someone as clearly bad at their job as you are.

BC: You'll pay for that.

RJG: Why don't you go pay your divorce lawyer and alimony fees first. BOOM SHAKA LAKA!

BC: Why don't you go post infrequently with ever declining comment numbers from an increasingly absent readership?

RJG: [Muffled sobs]

BC: I'm sorry, I went too far.

RJG: Oh no, I wasn't crying about what you just said. ESPN just played some clips from last night's game and watching your on-field product generally induces an overwhelming sense of grief and despair.

BC: You must think you're so clever. But have you taken into account that Ron Washington did cocaine?

RJG: No, actually I didn't. You're right. I was wrong to criticize you.

BC: I'm glad we cleared this up.

RJG: It's not all about you, Bronny.

[Click]


Well there you have it folks: Brian Cashman fully expects this team to contend in 2014.

Wednesday, June 11, 2014

Yankees Top Mariners

The Good

The Yankees didn't look entirely hopeless on the field yesterday.  They pulled out a close game, and got the hits that they needed, while Vidal Nuno pitched a solid game, despite not looking entirely in control. It wasn't a dominant win by the Yankees, but it's a win, and at this point in June, I'll take it.

The Bad

The Yankees look uninspired.  It's like they have a semblance of a team, but can't get the pieces to work together.  It's like the first half of the Avengers movie.

The Ugly

Cano had a couple hits against us, while Roberts made a couple outs at the plate.  That $238 million discount for a second baseman doesn't look so good does it!

We Would Love To Help The Children

But the Yankees won't oblige.  0 homeruns means $0 for children's health.

Brett Gardner 4hr = $8
Alfonso Soriano 6hr = $12
Kelly Johnson 4hr = $8
Carlos Beltran 5hr = $10
Dean Anna 1hr = $2
Brian McCann 7hr = $14
Yangervis Solarte 6hr = $12
Mark Teixeira 10hr = $20
John Ryan Murphy 1hr = $2
Jacoby Ellsubry 3hr = $6
Brian Roberts 2hr = $4
Derek Jeter 1hr = $2
Zoilo Almonte 1hr = $2

Total 51hr = $102

Monday, June 9, 2014

Kansas City Hands Out Royal Beating

The Good

We weren't swept.  Thanks in large part to Chase Whitley's 7 innings of 2 run ball, and a 3-run double by McCann.  Ichiro and Solarte hit well over the weekend, and Ichiro seemed to be the only Yankee interested in winning yesterday's game, but it was just not meant to be.  

The Bad

The Yankees went 1-17 with runners in scoring position yesterday.  We lost 2-1.  It was a pretty sad display of baseball.  The 9th inning characterized the game pretty well: Ichiro hits a single, moves to second on a wild pitch, and with 0 outs and a man in scoring position, Brian Roberts flies out, Teixeira grounds out to first while Ichiro moves to third, and Gardner strikes out to end the game.  That pretty much characterizes our offense right now.

The Ugly

Let's go with David Phelps 5.2 innings of 7 run ball on Saturday.  You'll typically lose most games you pitch that way.  Even worse however, is Kuroda's 7 inning 2 run gem that we threw away yesterday when we decided to hit like the Royals circa 2007.

At Least The Children Were Taken Care Of Right?

No.  They were not.  0 homeruns all weekend.

Brett Gardner 4hr = $8
Alfonso Soriano 6hr = $12
Kelly Johnson 4hr = $8
Carlos Beltran 5hr = $10
Dean Anna 1hr = $2
Brian McCann 7hr = $14
Yangervis Solarte 6hr = $12
Mark Teixeira 10hr = $20
John Ryan Murphy 1hr = $2
Jacoby Ellsubry 3hr = $6
Brian Roberts 2hr = $4
Derek Jeter 1hr = $2
Zoilo Almonte 1hr = $2

Total 51hr = $102

Saturday, June 7, 2014

RJG to Retire After 2014 Season

It's been a fun ride, but eventually the carny makes you get off and throw up somewheres else. Jerk.  After a great deal of deliberation and discussion (one conversation), the RJG team has decided it is time to call it a day. After the 2014 season, we will officially retire the blog, no longer able to keep up with the grueling demands of year-round, made-up baseball coverage.

As my brother and I have advanced in our careers (we're still paid the same amount and have the same titles, but we're expected to do more work), it has become harder to update the blog regularly. Besides, they keep installing these new and improved filters to our workplace intranets that don't allow us access to Yankees related web-content, making it far harder for us to keep up with the team. Without the ability, or the energy, to keep the blog updated as regularly as we used to, we've come to the realization that it is time to close up shop and move on.

We wrestled with when exactly to make this announcement, fearing its consequences for the long-term health of the internet and that it might detract from Derek Jeter's own impending retirement. But it would be selfish not to give the world the chance to honor us with expensive gifts and tributes for the next 4-5 months, depending on whether the Yankees see any playoff action.

You may be thinking, 'But guys, I budgeted all my tribute money for Derek's gift!' That's a fair concern, but #$&@ Derek Jeter, he can afford his own gifts. We can't even maintain a blog, we clearly need the financial generosity more than he does.

I can only assume that at this point, the tears streaming down your face have rendered this impossible to read. Good. We've been making you laugh for six years, you owe us at least an uncontrollable fit of grief. And we expect all five stages. No. Not expect. Demand. We demand all five stages.

It's been an amazing ride, and we've appreciated that so many of you have shared along in our alternate Yankees universe where Brian Cashman is a madman, Phil Hughes the next Rush Limbaugh, and Shane Spencer has a plaque in Monument Park. Thank you so much for humoring us these past six years, and honoring us with your readership and comments. It really motivated us to keep going, to keep trying to be funny and inventive for you. Until recently anyways when we kind of gave up. Sorry about that. But you should probably blame yourselves and not us, at least until you've bought our farewell gift.

We also want to send a special shout out to all those who over the years have commented vigorously, only to abruptly leave us. You crushed our dreams and our will to live. Thank you for that. It doesn't sting at all.






Friday, June 6, 2014

Pardon the Delay!

The Good

So we've been out of the loop for a few weeks now.  Life has been increasingly busy, and time is on short order.  You see, as a result of the rebound from the financial crisis, we now have jobs.  Being employed totally takes time away from watching baseball and blogging about them.

Yesterday, Tanaka pitched a winner, continuing a trend of giving the team the only chance to win once every five games.  Gardner hit a homerun, and Soriano had a couple hits, and an RBI effectively doubling his season totals.

The Bad

We have one hitter in our lineup hitting above .300 and that's Ichiro.  What happened?

The Ugly

Robertson recorded a save, but he also has an ERA above 4.  Betances on the other hand has a 1.54 ERA and has been pretty consistent.  Perhaps Robertson will have some competition in the very near future?

Homeruns a Boon for Children's Health Fund

Because we haven't updated homeruns in a while, it appears there's a lot of catching up to do.  Yesterday, Gardner hit the only Yankee homerun, but since we last updated there were about 3 homeruns from other players.  Turns out we haven't really been crushing the ball.

Brett Gardner 4hr = $8
Alfonso Soriano 6hr = $12
Kelly Johnson 4hr = $8
Carlos Beltran 5hr = $10
Dean Anna 1hr = $2
Brian McCann 7hr = $14
Yangervis Solarte 6hr = $12
Mark Teixeira 10hr = $20
John Ryan Murphy 1hr = $2
Jacoby Ellsubry 3hr = $6
Brian Roberts 2hr = $4
Derek Jeter 1hr = $2
Zoilo Almonte 1hr = $2

Total 51hr = $102 

Thursday, May 22, 2014

Yankees Split With Cubs

The Good

The Yankees out lasted the Cubs last night, and edged them out on a throwing error by Jose Veras in the 13th inning.  Might not be how you'd draw up a win, but a win is a win.  Chase Whitley pitched a decent game going 4.1 innings and allowing just 1 run, however the bullpen was remarkable holding the Cubs to one run over 8.2 innings.

The Bad

Tanaka wasn't his typical unhittable self, though even then he gave us 6 innings of 4 run ball (3 earned) and struck out 7 in the process.  This was his first loss of the season.

The Ugly

The Yankee offense has been underwhelming contributing to yesterday's game requiring 13 innings and an error to get ahead, and Tuesday's 6-1 loss.  It wasn't for lack of hitting per say (the Yankees had 13 hits yesterday), but the Yankees are displaying a recurring inability to drive in runs.  Before, they could rely on the long ball, but now they need to hit with runners in scoring position, and that's been a challenge for this offense. 

Not in Wrigley

The Yankees have left Chicago without contributing a single dollar to charity.  Are the Yankees against charity?  Only time will tell.

Brett Gardner 3hr = $6
Alfonso Soriano 6hr = $12
Kelly Johnson 4hr = $8
Carlos Beltran 5hr = $10
Dean Anna 1hr = $2
Brian McCann 6hr = $12
Yangervis Solarte 6hr = $12
Mark Teixeira 11hr = $22
John Ryan Murphy 1hr = $2
Jacoby Ellsubry 1hr = $2
Brian Roberts 1hr = $2
Derek Jeter 1hr = $2
Zoilo Almonte 1hr = $2

Total 50hr = $100

Tuesday, May 20, 2014

Yankees Beat Pirates, But Former Draft Pick Beats Yankees

The Good

The Yankees took 2 of 3 from the Pirates this weekend, which included a game 1 win where 5 different Yankees hit a homerun, while backing up David Phelps 5 scoreless innings.  In game 2, Kuroda gave us a quality start, pitching 6 innings and striking out 7 while giving up 3 runs.  Even Vidal Nuno gave the Yankees a quality start, going 6 innings and allowing 3 runs, only 2 of which were earned.  The bullpen held up in both of the first two games, throwing a combined 7 scoreless innings.

The Bad

The Yankees could not capitalize on opportunities for the sweep.  They got a few runners on base late in the game, and a rally seemed imminent, but the Yankees could not drive in any more runs, so they lost the game.

The Ugly

Former Yankees first round draft pick Gerrit Cole pitched against us on Sunday night.  Although drafted by us, he opted to go to college instead and later was drafted higher up by the Pirates.  In essence, the Pirates pillaged Cole from us.

Homers For Those Who Can't Yet Do Math

Homeruns by Solarte, Teixeira, Almonte, Gardner, Soriano and McCann this weekend has brought $12 to help the babies who are yet unable to count that high.  Kudos to the Yankees offensive efforts this past weekend.

Brett Gardner 3hr = $6
Alfonso Soriano 6hr = $12
Kelly Johnson 4hr = $8
Carlos Beltran 5hr = $10
Dean Anna 1hr = $2
Brian McCann 6hr = $12
Yangervis Solarte 6hr = $12
Mark Teixeira 11hr = $22
John Ryan Murphy 1hr = $2
Jacoby Ellsubry 1hr = $2
Brian Roberts 1hr = $2
Derek Jeter 1hr = $2
Zoilo Almonte 1hr = $2

Total 50hr = $100

Friday, May 16, 2014

Yankees Salvage Series With a Split

The Good

Our pitching.  Chase Whitley started this game and gave us 4.2 shutout innings, before being pulled for Betances who pitched 2.1 shutout innings, while striking out 6.  That means Betances only recorded one where a hitter was able to put a ball in play.  Soriano went 2-4 and drove in the only run of the game, good enough for a win.

The Bad

As stifled as the Mets were by our pitching staff, so the Yankees were stifled by the Mets pitching staff.  In the end, the one run we scored was enough to win.

The Ugly

Winning yesterday put the Yankees two games above .500.  This isn't the dominance we were expecting when we brought in Ellsbury, Beltran, and McCann to start the season.

Maybe Tonight

No homeruns yesterday, but maybe the Yankees can come through against the Pirates.  Childhood health depends on it.

Brett Gardner 2hr = $4
Alfonso Soriano 5hr = $10
Kelly Johnson 4hr = $8
Carlos Beltran 5hr = $10
Dean Anna 1hr = $2
Brian McCann 5hr = $10
Yangervis Solarte 5hr = $10
Mark Teixeira 10hr = $20
John Ryan Murphy 1hr = $2
Jacoby Ellsubry 1hr = $2
Brian Roberts 1hr = $2
Derek Jeter 1hr = $2

Total 44hr = $88

Thursday, May 15, 2014

Tanaka Anchors Team

The Good

Tanaka was outstanding last night.  He pitched a complete game shutout, and even had a hit in the game.  Solarte has stepped up and hit a couple homeruns in this series,which is a welcome sight for this team.

Tanaka's night gave the Yankee bullpen a rest after needing to rely on them heavily in the first couple games of the series.  Now the Yankees stand poised to not be swept, and perhaps even out the series.

The Bad


Despite driving in 7 runs in each of the first two games of the series, the Yankees still lost the games.  Kuroda wasn't awful, but he wasn't great either, and Nuno couldn't pitch out of the 4th.  Injuries are taking their toll, and right now Tanaka is the lone bright spot in a tattered rotation.

The Ugly

The Yankees are a team that can't seem to get anything going.  Injuries are striking both the old and the young, and when they hit well enough to win a game, the pitching doesn't back them up.  It's a mess, but at least it's still early for them to turn it around.

If Only Homeruns Meant Wins

We may have lost the first two games, but the children won't go home empty handed. Since we last gave a game update Teixeira and Solarte each hit 3 homeruns, and Gardner and McCann each hit one against the Mets. 

Brett Gardner 2hr = $4
Alfonso Soriano 5hr = $10
Kelly Johnson 4hr = $8
Carlos Beltran 5hr = $10
Dean Anna 1hr = $2
Brian McCann 5hr = $10
Yangervis Solarte 5hr = $10
Mark Teixeira 10hr = $20
John Ryan Murphy 1hr = $2
Jacoby Ellsubry 1hr = $2
Brian Roberts 1hr = $2
Derek Jeter 1hr = $2

Total 44hr = $88

Monday, May 12, 2014

Yankees Announce More Number Retirements

Not long after the Yankees announced that Joe Torre, Paul O'Neill, Tino Martinez, and Goose Gossage, would have their numbers retired this season, the Yankees have announced that Scott Brosius, Shane Spencer, and Chili Davis will also have their numbers retired, as the Yankees continue to honor any player whose name fans still remember.

"This is a great day for all New Yorkers," said an overly triumphant Hal Steinbrenner when reached for comment. "Chili Davis was a great champion, as was Brosius. I'm pretty sure Spencer has had some conversations with great champions, and so we just wanted to make sure that we honor important achievements like that."

Steinbrenner explained that every player on a 25-man roster in a year when the Yankees won a championship will eventually have their number retired.

"If you know anything about the Yankees, then you know we never plan for the future," explained Steinbrenner. "We live in the now, and we live in the past. Today, we further cement our commitment to overhyping ourselves—as if that's possible."

Yankees Walk Off Field In Defeat

The Good

Friday's game was exciting.  Tanaka pitched 6.1 innings, allowing 2 runs, and placed the Yankees in position to win, which they did, mostly due to a 3-run homerun from Solarte.  Teixeira hit 2 homeruns this weekend, including a game tying homerun in the 9th inning last night against K-Rod. 

Also good, I don't know if it's just me, but Betances is looking more reliable every day.  He came in relief of Sabathia Saturday and got 2 strikeouts to end the inning, then came into the game on Sunday and pitched 2 scoreless innings where he only allowed 1 hit.

The Bad

Losing on a walk off to Mark Reynolds was tough. The man has led the league in strikeouts for multiple consecutive years, but last night he came through.

The Ugly

Sabathia is down with a knee injury after pitching 5.1 innings and giving up 3 homeruns.  He hasn't been sharp, and although this knee issue I'm sure contributed to some of that, eventually you have to wonder if the last season of work is about what we can expect out of him.  He's been a dominant pitcher for so long, and one can hope that he can figure out how to pitch with the stuff he has, but after a year of being unable to adjust, what is the likelihood that he can suddenly turn around?  For our sake, I hope he can.  The good news is that the Yankees showed remarkable restraint when they extended his contract so we only have him until 2016.

Babies With Rabies Now Have Antiobiotics

Three homeruns over the weekend has contributed $6 towards the Babies With Rabies Fund.  We'll eradicate infant rabies forever!  Thank you Mark Teixeira and Yangervis Solarte.

Brett Gardner 1hr = $2
Alfonso Soriano 5hr = $10
Kelly Johnson 4hr = $8
Carlos Beltran 5hr = $10
Dean Anna 1hr = $2
Brian McCann 4hr = $8
Yangervis Solarte 2hr = $4
Mark Teixeira 7hr = $14
John Ryan Murphy 1hr = $2
Jacoby Ellsubry 1hr = $2
Brian Roberts 1hr = $2
Derek Jeter 1hr = $2

Total 36hr = $62

Thursday, May 8, 2014

Yanks Take Series from Angels

The Good

There is still good in them. The Yankees that is. Jeter hit a home run, the same thing he did back when he was in his 20s, so we can assume a return to prime form. Nuno gave us a quality start, going 6.1 with only one earned. Betances continues to be tall.

The Bad

We scored nine runs but only hit one home run. In the shift-ball era, that is not a recipe for success. All balls must be hit 500 feet and in the air. Or else.

The Ugly

According to Mariano Rivera's autobiography written by somebody else, Dustin Pedroia is the greatest baseball player that ever lived. Better than Cano, Rivera, Jeter, Mays, DiMaggio, et cetera.

Who's on First

No one. Because we're talking about home runs fool! Jeter hit one. But only one. Why hasn't he been dropped in the order yet?! It's like they respect his gangster or something.

Brett Gardner 1hr = $2
Alfonso Soriano 5hr = $10
Kelly Johnson 4hr = $8
Carlos Beltran 5hr = $10
Dean Anna 1hr = $2
Brian McCann 4hr = $8
Yangervis Solarte 1hr = $2
Mark Teixeira 5 hr = $10
John Ryan Murphy 1hr = $2
Jacoby Ellsubry 1hr = $2
Brian Roberts 1hr = $2
Derek Jeter 1hr = $2

Total 33hr = $56

Wednesday, May 7, 2014

Angels Fall to Yankees

The Good

Kuroda, who was on the verge of being DFA'd after the two worst starts in baseball history, showed up with an impressive 7.2 inning, three run (one earned) effort. Brian Roberts hit a home run, prompting everyone in the stadium to think, 'I didn't know he was allowed to do that.' Jeter went 1 for 2. That's a .500 average in case you didn't notice.

The Bad

Solarte committed his second throwing error of the year. When are we going to trade for Eduardo Nunez again?

The Ugly

Mostly your face is ugly, but as far as the game goes, I'd say Beltran's .248 batting average. Time to give Ichiro regular licks guys. The Beltran experiment has ended on May 6th, whether we 'fess up to it or not.

Roberts with the Bail Out

With Obamacare failing everyone, everywhere, our precious children are left to wait for Brian Roberts to get around to hitting a home run just to put $2 towards their healthcare premiums. Roberts also sits on the Obamacare death panels. All of them.

Brett Gardner 1hr = $2
Alfonso Soriano 5hr = $10
Kelly Johnson 4hr = $8
Carlos Beltran 5hr = $10
Dean Anna 1hr = $2
Brian McCann 4hr = $8
Yangervis Solarte 1hr = $2
Mark Teixeira 5 hr = $10
John Ryan Murphy 1hr = $2
Jacoby Ellsubry 1hr = $2
Brian Roberts 1hr = $2

Total 33hr = $56

Tuesday, May 6, 2014

Yanks Fall to Angels

The Good

Phelps gave us a good spot start with 5.1 innings of one run ball. Joe Girardi got himself tossed, which was the whole reason we hired him in the first place!

The Bad

Jeter is now batting .250. How much longer will we turn a blind eye to this travesty before we realize our folly and anoint Brendan Ryan the starting shortstop?

The Ugly

Shawn Kelley gave up three earned runs and got himself tossed. Could a 10 game suspension be far behind? Only Joe Torre knows.

The Kids Aren't Alright

Because the Yankees have refused to hit any home runs. Think about that.

Brett Gardner 1hr = $2
Alfonso Soriano 5hr = $10
Kelly Johnson 4hr = $8
Carlos Beltran 5hr = $10
Dean Anna 1hr = $2
Brian McCann 4hr = $8
Yangervis Solarte 1hr = $2
Mark Teixeira 5 hr = $10
John Ryan Murphy 1hr = $2
Jacoby Ellsubry 1hr = $2

Total 33hr = $56

Monday, May 5, 2014

Rays of Hope Only Shine on Tampa

The Good

The Yankee offense suddenly saw a spark.  Between Friday and Saturday, they had scored 14 runs, including 7 hits by Ellsbury and a slew of homeruns by a number of different players.  Teixeira continued his power surge by hitting homeruns on both Friday and Saturday.

Tanaka wasn't his best but still pitched 7 innings with 3 runs so no complaints here.  Alfredo Aceves stepped in for Sabathia and pitched 5.1 scoreless innings, though at that point the damage had been done.

The Bad

The Yankees did not match up well against the Rays.  We dropped the series, because we were outlasted by the Rays in extra innings of Friday, and because Sabathia got shelled on Sunday.  Our losses came down to pitching.  Nuno gave up 4 runs in under 5 innings on Friday, and Sabathia gave up 5 runs in under 4 innings.  Those are going to be tough games to win.

The Ugly

Sabathia was really bad.  3.2 innings, and 5 runs on Sunday.  If this persists in May, what should the Yankees do?

The Babies

Teixeira hit two homeruns, Kelly Johnson, Brian McCann and Alfonso Soriano each hit one, and that leaves us with a weekend of $10 going to help the babies beat the sniffles.

Brett Gardner 1hr = $2
Alfonso Soriano 5hr = $10
Kelly Johnson 4hr = $8
Carlos Beltran 5hr = $10
Dean Anna 1hr = $2
Brian McCann 4hr = $8
Yangervis Solarte 1hr = $2
Mark Teixeira 5 hr = $10
John Ryan Murphy 1hr = $2
Jacoby Ellsubry 1hr = $2

Total 33hr = $56

Friday, May 2, 2014

Well That Didn't Go Well Either

The Good

Kuroda muscled his way through a start, going 6 innings, and giving up 4 runs (3 earned), though the Yankee offense was far too anemic to hit its way out of that deficit.  Ellsbury hit a homerun and McCann singled in a run, but alas Mariners starter Elias was far too dominant for us.

Also good, our bullpen looked sharp.

The Bad

The Yankees had 7 hits, only 1 of which was for extra bases.  Elias was mixing in pitches really well, and the Yankees never looked comfortable.  Elias alone struck out 10 batters.

The Ugly

Cano drove in 2 runs yesterday, which was the difference maker in a 4-2 win for the Mariners.  Though I can't be sure, I suspect he did it out of spite.  Not spite for the Yankees, but spite for fans who booed him despite the fact that the Yankees build a team around players just like Cano.  The Yankees current team building model is to offer large contracts to free agents, outbidding whatever team that player just left.  It just so happens that the Mariners followed this same model, and outbid the Yankees by a long shot. 

Dollars is What I Need

A spoon full of sugar helps the medicine go down, and a $2 donation to charity helps this loss not feel so bitter.  Kind of.  Ellsbury's contribution to children's health is much appreciated.

Brett Gardner 1hr = $2
Alfonso Soriano 4hr = $8
Kelly Johnson 3hr = $6
Carlos Beltran 5hr = $10
Dean Anna 1hr = $2
Brian McCann 3hr = $6
Yangervis Solarte 1hr = $2
Mark Teixeira 3 hr = $6
John Ryan Murphy 1hr = $2
Jacoby Ellsubry 1hr = $2

Total 23hr = $46

Wednesday, April 30, 2014

Cano and His Quarter Billion Dollars Defeat Yankees

The Good

I'm skipping all the games since our last post, which is good for me. I'll summarize thusly: we took the Boston series and then we took the Angels series. It's not so good for those of you hoping to read our eagle-eyed analysis of the past five games, but deal with it. It's not all about you. Teixeira is looking good since his return from the DL, hitting three home run since our last update.

The Bad

Sabathia couldn't hold the lead on a cold night and the offense, other than a solo home run by Teixeira in the 2nd, didn't do much either. Clearly, this is a warm weather team. And based on the reception of Robinson Cano, one with fair weather fans.

The Ugly

I'm not sure it's official yet, but the Red Sox may now be a classier organization than the Yankees. Cashman has become the new, somehow more smug Theo Epstein. Our fans booed our best player of the last nine years for accepting a better job offer while the Boston fans only half-heartedly booed Ellsbury and then the organization paid him a video tribute. This for a guy who, while he played on some winners, was also hurt a lot during his stint in Boston and was largely a quiet presence, not one that necessarily had to be celebrated. Is this who we are now?

Show Me the Homers

Since our last update, Teixeira has hit three home runs, while John Ryan Murphy has hit one of his own. That's $8 more for the kids.

Brett Gardner 1hr = $2
Alfonso Soriano 4hr = $8
Kelly Johnson 3hr = $6
Carlos Beltran 5hr = $10
Dean Anna 1hr = $2
Brian McCann 3hr = $6
Yangervis Solarte 1hr = $2
Mark Teixeira 3 hr = $6
John Ryan Murphy 1hr = $2

Total 22hr = $44

Thursday, April 24, 2014

Yankees Can't Pine Tar Their Way to Victory

The Good

Our bullpen looked solid.  Through 6.1 innings, they allowed 3 runs though only 1 of them was earned.  Beltran, Roberts and Soriano seemingly showed up to play, and had good nights at the plate, but the offense looked anemic overall.

The Bad

The Yankees made John Lackey look like Nolan Ryan last night, and not Nolan Ryan in the early 90's when he was well into his 40's, but mid-70's Ryan when he used to pitch 300 innings and strike out 300 batters.

The Ugly

Pineda was caught using a foreign substance (pine tar) to gain a better grip on the ball.  He most definitely got away with it after his last start against the Red Sox, where he had "dirt mixed with sweat" on the palm of his hand.  There are two likely explanations to why Pineda tried this.  One, he really was that self-deceived to think that a nationally televised game, with dozens of camera's and tens of thousands of spectators would not catch on to what he was doing.  Or two, he misunderstood the meaning of "foreign substance" to mean that he couldn't use any product that wasn't made in America.  We can ask him after his suspension.

How Much Money for the Children?

The Yankees raised a total of $0 for the children yesterday.

Brett Gardner 1hr = $2
Alfonso Soriano 4hr = $8
Kelly Johnson 3hr = $6
Carlos Beltran 5hr = $10
Dean Anna 1hr = $2
Brian McCann 3hr = $6
Yangervis Solarte 1hr = $2

Total 18hr = $36

Wednesday, April 23, 2014

Yanks Take First Game of Series Against BoSox

The Good

Masahiro Tanaka gave us 7.1 innings of two-run ball, while Ellsbury had a triple, a double, scored two runs, and had two RBI. Beltran had a home run, and Betances didn't have a meltdown.

The Bad

We all make mistakes in life. You more than me, but even I make mistakes once in a while, and I was wrong about the Jacoby Ellsbury signing. He has been spectacular. He's gritty, uses his speed on the bases and not just the outfield (I'm looking at you Gardner), and he gives us everything he has on every play. Yes, he gets hurt a lot, but it's clear to me at this point that he get's hurt because he's going full speed on every play and sometimes runs into outfield walls, known for their sneakiness. Imagine Beltran was as fast as Ellsbury. We probably lose him in that Tampa Bay series. Hopefully, with age, Ellsbury learns that on certain plays giving 99 percent rather than 100 can be the difference between ending up on the DL or having more chances to make spectacular plays.

The Ugly

Anyone who reads this blog knows that Robinson Cano's tendency to not run hard on automatic outs never bothered me. Soriano watching every ball he hits in the air does. Yesterday he hit a ball off the wall that he watched instead of running right away. He ended up on second—in scoring postion&mdashbut he should have been at third. That's starting to become a recurring theme and I can't stand it. I really don't care if Major Leaguers don't want to run hard to first on plays that are outs unless Eduardo Nunez is throwing to first (too soon?). I do mind if they do it on balls that are not outs ever percent of the time.

Million Dollar Baby

Actually, $2 baby, but still. Beltran hit another home run last night, producing another $2 for the children.

Brett Gardner 1hr = $2
Alfonso Soriano 4hr = $8
Kelly Johnson 3hr = $6
Carlos Beltran 5hr = $10
Dean Anna 1hr = $2
Brian McCann 3hr = $6
Yangervis Solarte 1hr = $2

Total 18hr = $36

Monday, April 21, 2014

Weekend in Tampa

The Good

The Yankees pulled out a 12th inning victory last night, which began by a bases loaded walk to Dean Anna, and a two-RBI single by Beltran.  The pitching held the Rays to 1 run yesterday, including a clutch spot start by Vidal Nuno who went 5 innings, and gave up nothing.  Our relief looked sharp last night including old face, but new call up Preston Claiborne who got the win with two innings of shutout ball.

The Bad

I would put Friday and Saturday's games into this category.  The Yankee pitching staff gave up 11 runs on Friday, including a blown save opportunity from Adam Warren where he gave up 3 runs.  To show their solidarity, the pitching staff on Saturday gave up 16 runs including 8 from Nova.  With the exception of yesterdays game, the bullpen looked terrible.

The Ugly

Nova is out with a partial tear in his ulnar collateral ligament.  In other words, he needs Tommy John.  It looks like we're going to be losing him for some time.

But At Least the Kids Are Okay, Right?

Wrong.  The Yankees selfishly spent 3 games giving up homeruns instead of hitting them.  The children will have to go home empty handed this weekend, and have an off day to further consider how badly the Yankees have wronged them.

Brett Gardner 1hr = $2
Alfonso Soriano 4hr = $8
Kelly Johnson 3hr = $6
Carlos Beltran 4hr = $8
Dean Anna 1hr = $2
Brian McCann 3hr = $6 
Yangervis Solarte 1hr = $2 

Total 17hr = $34

Friday, April 18, 2014

Yankees Top Rays, Sabathia Looks Good in Start

The Good

The Yankee offense was sharp against David Price.  Soriano, McCann, and Solarte all hit homeruns, Ellsbury and Roberts each had triples, and the Yankees won the game 10-2.  The best part of the game was Sabathia's start.  He lasted 7 innings, giving up 2 runs (1 earned), and threw a pitch that started a triple play, turned by Solarte, Roberts, and Sizemore.  It was Sizemore's first start at first base.

The Bad

Dellin Betances pitched two innings of shutout relief.  That's good.  However, I watched him throw 3-straight balls, to 4 different batters, before deciding to throw some strikes and get the outs.  And that basically sums up Betances so far.  Great stuff, but can't always find the strike zone.

The Ugly

Last night Yankee fans across the globe watched in horror as their most productive hitter ran full speed into the stands while tracking a fly ball.  Beltran took quite the tumble, but stayed in the game.  Though it was an ugly site, it was impressive to see that level of grit. 

The Bombers Support the Babies

As mentioned before, Soriano, McCann and Solarte each hit homeruns adding $6 to the Children's Health Fund's bank account.  Now they can finally stop adding water to Robitussin to make more Robitussin, and can just buy some new Robitussin.

Brett Gardner 1hr = $2
Alfonso Soriano 4hr = $8
Kelly Johnson 3hr = $6
Carlos Beltran 4hr = $8
Dean Anna 1hr = $2
Brian McCann 3hr = $6
Yangervis Solarte 1hr = $2

Total 17hr = $34

Wednesday, April 16, 2014

Yanks Sweep Double-Header

The Good

Mere hours after winning a baseball game, the Yankees headed back onto the frigid tundra of Yankee Stadium and won another. The exhausted gladiators suffered through excruciating cold, barely mustering two runs over nine innings. The Cubs, spirits crushed, now face the vacuum that is the dreaded off-day. Pineda, no longer stained by the biased close ups of probing cameras, delivered six innings of runless baseball.

The Bad

The previous paragraph.

The Ugly

Anyone else notice that Jeter now runs like Jorge Posada circa ever? It's not fun to watch.

One Treat a Day Is Enough

The children had their fill in the afternoon. No more dollars would be forthcoming.

Brett Gardner 1hr = $2
Alfonso Soriano 3hr = $6
Kelly Johnson 3hr = $6
Carlos Beltran 4hr = $8
Dean Anna 1hr = $2
Brian McCann 2hr = $4

Total 14hr = $28

Yanks Take First Game of Double-Header

The Good

Cy Tanaka Young went eight innings and gave up no home runs to a number nine hitter. In fact, he gave up no runs, home or otherwise, to anyone. Ellsbury and Gardner each had a double, while Beltran hit a solo home run.

The Bad

Here's looking at you, Cubbies.

The Ugly

Is it ugly that we're already using a defensive substitute in the late innings for Beltran only three weeks into his three year contract? I think it is. I'm hoping it was just because of the cold, but I doubt it.

By the way, why was it so #$&*ing cold today?!

Money Talks, Babies Don't

Until they do, and even then it's mostly unintelligible gibberish. But Carlos Beltran made sure the babies weren't without their God-given speech, which turns out to be the same thing as money according to the Supreme Court. The babies are $2 more loquacious thanks to Beltran's generous contribution.

Brett Gardner 1hr = $2
Alfonso Soriano 3hr = $6
Kelly Johnson 3hr = $6
Carlos Beltran 4hr = $8
Dean Anna 1hr = $2
Brian McCann 2hr = $4

Total 14hr = $28

Monday, April 14, 2014

Yankees Take 3 of 4 From Boston

The Good

The Yankees showed some positive signs this weekend as they took 3 of 4 from the Red Sox.  One, the power seems to be coming to life.  Beltran hit a go-ahead 2-run homerun yesterday, and had another 2-run shot on Saturday.  McCann hit two homeruns on Saturday, Kelly Johnson hit one, and Soriano hit a homerun on back to back days Friday and Saturday.  That's 7 homeruns over the weekend.  Pitching was a little shaky early on in the weekend, but Nova pitched a gem yesterday, going 7.1 innings and allowing 2 runs.

Also a good sign, our bullpen is looking pretty strong.  Betances came in and struck out 3 on Friday, and Shawn Kelley recorded back to back saves as Roberston's replacement.

The Bad

Though there were positive signs from Sabathia and Kuroda, they ended up finishing with less than inspiring lines.  Kuroda went 6.1 innings with 4 runs, and Sabathia went 7 innings with 4 runs.  The good news is that both of these guys really began to get hit in the later innings of their starts.  Sabathia struck out 9 and had Kuroda not gone out for the 7th, he would have ended up with 6 innings and 2 runs.  So while the starts weren't great, I think they're warming up.

The Ugly

Last week we reported that someone finally had the courage to charge a baby with attempted murder.  Well the bad news is that those charges were dropped.  Now we have to live in fear that this stone cold killer is on the loose:



RJG is for the Children

The Respect Jeter's Gangster blog donates $2 for every homerun hit to the Children's Health Fund, mainly so that these kids don't grow up to become stone cold killers.  This weekend, the children had plenty to rejoice over with 2 homeruns from Beltran, McCann and Soriano each, as well as a homerun from Kelly Johnson.


Brett Gardner 1hr = $2
Alfonso Soriano 3hr = $6
Kelly Johnson 3hr = $6
Carlos Beltran 3hr = $26
Dean Anna 1hr = $2
Brian McCann 2hr = $4

Total 12hr = $24

Friday, April 11, 2014

Yanks Take Game One of Four

The Good

Pineda mastered the art of doctoring baseballs, giving the Yanks six-plus innings of one-run dishonest baseball. Asked about the foreign substance on his right hand, Pineda announced his new endorsement deal with McCheat Sticky Stuff Pitching Solution. McCann, who was probably stealing signs, drove in a run. Dean Anna hit his first major league home run not in a video game on easy mode.

The Bad

When asked about the possible pine tar on Pineda's pitching hand, Red Sox hitters were furious.

"What?!" screamed David Ortiz. "Everyone knows that when it's cold out, you're supposed to hit as many batters as possible until you're unceremoniously removed from the game by your manager or your contractual obligation to McCheat Sticky Stuff Pitching Solution, which I endorse and also works for hitters."

The Ugly

McCann has struggled at the plate this season, but managed an RBI in last night's game. Afterwards, however, he had other things on his mind.

"I bought a cat recently and I’ve learned a lot about parenting from having a cat. One of the things I’ve learned is that all mammals manipulate. When my cat wants to go outside, she comes down to the kitchen and meows at me. But not with just any meow, a meow that says ‘why did all my kittens have to die when you drunkenly plowed into them with your car, having already had multiple DUI arrests?’ It’s a heart-wrenching, evil, manipulative meow. And kids are exactly the same way. That’s why they get away with murder. I’m just glad that, finally, someone has had the courage to put an end to this and finally charge a baby with murder."

Greenies for the Babies

Green dollar bills that is. Anna's home run means another $2 for the kids.

Brett Gardner 1hr = $2
Alfonso Soriano 1hr = $2
Kelly Johnson 2hr = $4
Carlos Beltran 1hr = $2
Dean Anna 1hr = $2

Total 6hr = $12

Thursday, April 10, 2014

Yanks Drop Series to Os

The Good

Tanaka gave us another quality effort, going seven innings while only giving up three runs. Kelly Johnson and Carlos Beltran both homered, and Warren looked good in relief.

The Bad

We were 1-6 with RISP, suggesting that the 2014 Yankees may be a lot like the 2013 ones. We cannot expect to be competitive relying only on home runs.

The Ugly

Shawn Kelley demonstrated just how thin this roster is. No Dave Robertson is he, but if he gets hurt in the next couple of days he'll be closer than he currently is. We're not really in a position to weather a lot of injuries, though we've managed without Teixeira much better than I expected. Kelley gave up two earned runs in the ninth, helping to put the game away for the Orioles. That's not normally the goal for a Yankees pitcher.

Toddlers Get Dollars

Thanks to Johnson and Beltran, the kids are alright. Or at least $4 richer. Same difference.

Brett Gardner 1hr = $2
Alfonso Soriano 1hr = $2
Kelly Johnson 2hr = $4
Carlos Beltran 1hr = $2

Total 5hr = $10

Wednesday, April 9, 2014

Well That Wasn't Fun

The Good

Ellsbury has started hitting really well.  He went 3-4 yesterday with a stolen base, continuing a trend of offensive productivity.  Soriano and Johnson each had a solo homerun, which provided hope that the power might soon be coming.

The Bad

The Yankees lost 14-4.  That's a 10 run deficit.  Even with Soriano and Johnson hitting homeruns, that's a large deficit to overcome.  It's almost like the time you put your entire vacation on a credit card, and then cashed your change jar to try to make your payment.  It's a nice gesture, but doesn't come close.

The Ugly

Nova's start and Nuno's relief.  Each of them gave up 7 runs, and at the end of the day, it would have taken an offense in mid season form to try to make that up.  Nova's first start was shaky, and this one was awful, but I'm hoping that he at least has half the leash that Phil Hughes had last year.  Nova has good enough stuff to merit the patience.

 Pennance

The Respect Jeter's Gangster blog is donating $2 for every homerun hit to the Children's Health Fund.  Yesterday Soriano and Johnson made sure the kids would not go home empty handed.  $4 more for the children.

Brett Gardner 1hr = $2
Alfonso Soriano 1hr = $2
Kelly Johnson 1hr = $2

Total 3hr = $6

Monday, April 7, 2014

Yanks Win Home Opener

The Good

Kuroda pitched another good game, giving us 6.1 innings of two-run ball. Jeter had a double, Soriano had two hits, and Shawn Kelley got his first career save. So far, I really like what Ellsbury is bringing to the line-up. His unGardneresque combination of speed, and willingness to run before the batter strikes or pops out is refreshing.

The Bad

Robertson is joining Teixeira on the 15-day DL with a grade 1 strain of his groin. Not the end of the world, but the Yankees are not in a position to absorb a lot of injuries to key players. Hopefully, what we're seeing with Robertson and Teixeira is just a function of it being early in the season.

The Ugly

Who taught the Orioles how to run the bases, Jorge Posada?

Bronx Bunters It Is

We're still struggling to hit home runs. I'm sure this team will pick it up eventually, but right now they have about as much power as photo ID-less voters in Republican controlled states.

Brett Gardner 1hr = $2

Total 1hr = $2

Yankees Win First Series of Year

The Good

Tanaka and Pineda were very good in their first starts of the season.  Tanaka pitched 7 innings allowing 3 runs (2 earned) and striking out 8, Pineda pitched 6 innings of 1 run ball striking out 5.  Tanaka got a win, and Pineda took a loss, but it was a good sign for these two pitchers.

Ellsbury seemingly woke up this weekend having 3 hits on both Friday and Saturday.  Guys like Ichiro and Solarte are providing a lot of offense for the team early on.  One of the most encouraging signs is how often this team is running.  Ellsbury, Gardner, Roberts and Ichiro stole 7 bases over the weekend.  That's a very different look for this team.

It also turns out that we have a decent bullpen.  With the exception of David Phelps' outing, a game we were going to lose anyway since we couldn't score a run, our bullpen pitched 5 shutout innings and recorded it's second save under Robertson.

The Bad

Teixeira is on the 15-day DL.  On Friday night he messed up his hamstring while participating in baseball related activities.

The Ugly

This may not be as ugly as it first appears, but Sabathia ended up going 6 innings and allowing 4 runs last night, far from the ace-like expectations we have of him.  It may not be as bad as it looks because through 5 innings, Sabathia had allowed just 1 run, and then unraveled in the 6th.  It could still be early enough in the season where he is still figuring out how to pitch deep into games.  We'll see in his next start how he does.

Finally, RJG Is For The Children

After what seemed like an eternity, the Yankees hit their first homerun, dumping 2 whole dollars into the Children's Health Fund coffers.  Thank you Brett Gardner.

Brett Gardner 1hr = $2

Total 1hr = $2