Back from Vacation

I made it back from an epic cruise around the mediterranean just in time to see the Yankees lose to Texas in the ALCS. I would like to say that I didn't see it coming, but the truth is the Yankees haven't had all that much fight in them since September. Sure they had some come from behind wins and such, but the general will to win seemed to be missing. But now we enter the best season of baseball, the hot stove season. Yeah the world series hasn't started yet, but no one cares about that. This is the time for speculation and convoluted trade ideas. As I've yet to really sink into the baseball atmosphere, and catch up on the news, I will for now hold off on my speculation, and just say that I am back, and I'm glad to see people have kept this site fun while I was gone.

The Pettitte Question

The Yanks want Andy Pettitte back. Pettitte still wants to pitch, but he's been torn between commitments to the game and commitments to his family for some time. I've often wondered why the Yankees haven't considered doing a partial season deal with Pettitte the way they did with Clemens those last couple years when he was running on steroid fumes. Why not let Andy join the team in May or June rather than February for Spring Training? This would give him more time with his family and also help keep him fresher. He's not getting any younger.

Aw Shucks

Well, that's it. The season is over and the Yankees won't be champions again. That's baseball. Two months ago, would any of you have thought that an AL East team wouldn't advance to the World Series?

MLB must be busy readying emotionally charged montages that tell the story of postseason frustration in Texas and play up the potential for a first World Series for the Rangers. They better be, because no one cares about a Texas v. Giants/Phillies World Series. Yanks-Phils? Round two between the titans. Yanks-Giants? New Yorkers still mad about the Polo Grounds. Texas-Anybody Else? Who gives a $#!%. My guess is ratings won't exactly be great.

There are, of course, more important things to think about than the ratings right now. Girardi, Jeter, Rivera, and Cliff Lee are all up for new contracts in New York. The Yanks now have to decide by just how much to overpay all four.

Other issues have also arisen. It turns out that the warning track is like an ice rink; it almost killed Lance Berkman. Berkman, it should be noted, is an experienced figure skater. That should give you an indication of just how slick and dangerous that warning track is.

The Yankees also need to decide what to do about Kerry Wood. He may want another opportunity to close, but the Yankees would be wise to attempt to sign him to serve as Mo's set up man. Perhaps that will give them an opportunity to trade players like Robertson or Joba for some additional prospects.

Decisions, decisions.

It Has to be Said

I'm sorry, but this has to be said. Phil Hughes grew up in California. He has no excuse for the mullet he's got going in this picture of him (I won't post it here directly because it's hard to look at). It's bad enough that he's clearly well on the path of just completely letting himself go. At least cut your #*&@ing hair! You already cut the sides and the top, trim that $#!% in the back. Believe me, your barber isn't charging you less just because he's only having to do three of four sides. Cut it. Just cut it.

Another Travel Day

It's not as bad as last year. On this date last year the Yankees were preparing for their two week vacation between games 2 and 3 of the ALDS. I'm pretty sure I was unwrapping presents under the tree as the Yanks were clinching the World Series. But travel days are always boring. No news. Pretending we care about the NLCS. It's awful. But that's what we do. We do it because we love baseball and we love baseball because the alternative for a national pastime is soccer. We're not about to love soccer, so we love baseball. It's nothing against soccer, it's just that, you know, it's soccer. It's cool when you're six and your mom is unsure about letting you play pee wee football, but after that. . .

At least it's just one day. Tomorrow is game six. Hughes is up, preparing to put his last start behind him. Technically it's already behind him, but Hughes doesn't experience time linearly, so he can't put it behind him until after tomorrow's game (assuming he doesn't suck). Hughes's legacy is on the line. I don't want to put pressure on the young man, but his whole career is staring him in the face right now. Let's hope he doesn't blink.

Will the offense show up? The plane charter suggests they will arrive in Texas, but that's no guarantee of on-field performance. Besides, the Rangers have a sports psychologist who tells them stuff like, "good game," and "go get 'em, sport." The Yankees will have to overcome this organizational disadvantage. The Yanks are currently without a sports psychologist, but Jorge Posada has volunteered to serve as clubhouse chaplain. Granted, his usual conversation starter of "what the #%&@ are you looking at?" isn't that inviting. We'll see whose method is superior over the course of these next two games.

Game 5, Change We Can Believe In?

Looks like the Yankees are the hope mongers now. The Yanks came out aggressive against CJ Wilson, a pitcher who was dominant against us in game 1 of this series. CC gave us six strong innings. Kerry Wood struck out Josh Hamilton just to make him feel bad. Mo closed it out. All in all, it was awesome.

But it raises some issues. The Yanks now have to take two games on the road. Not impossible, but difficult. It's do or die right now and the Yanks have no room for error. Hughes needs to come out and pitch like he's played this game before, or at least heard of it. He cannot repeat his game two performance. Even if the Yanks put up a nine spot in the top of the first, Hughes has to give us some reasonable length. We can't burn the bullpen with a looming game seven against Cliff "I Think I'm So Cool" Lee.

The key to the game will be winning. If the Yankees do that, they set themselves up well for a game seven.

Game 4, Damn

It's not looking good folks. At least we have CC on the mound today, but it's not looking great. We can't hit. We can't pitch consistently unless we're named Andy Pettitte (Pettitte...I rarely even know it?). We can't even try to bunt a few guys on to get a base runner on for Cano (who's ridiculous right now).

What can the Yankees do? I'm sure they've already filled out a blank check to present to Cliff Lee after the World Series is over.

They could call Bud Selig and apologize that the ratings for a Texas-San Fran World Series are going to be so awful. The series itself might be good, but it's kind of a tree falling in the woods situation. Nobody's there to give a $#!%. I'm pretty sure that's how it goes.

It's been a long season, but I would do some sit-ups if I was a Yankee right about now. You'll be on a beach soon and you'll want to look good.

I know, I know. I shouldn't just give up on the season. We're still in this thing. But this team hasn't exactly shown a lot of resilience as of late, so I'm prepared to let my mind drift to what trades and free agent signings we should make. Granted, if they move on to the next round, I'll be all Randy Quaid in Major Leagues, acting like I knew they would make it all along. The nice thing about having a comedy blog is that if someone says to you, "you literally wrote they should start in on their vacation plans," I just say, "It's irony a@$$hole."

Game 3, Ugly

I suppose it doesn't matter that D-Rob gave up five runs and recorded one out. When you score exactly zero runs it doesn't matter whether the other team scored one or a one million. The Yanks are now in a hole, and the Rangers are not letting up. If they take the next two games it won't really matter, but last night they blew the only great pitching performance they've received. I know Lee was on the mound, but you have to find a way. If you can't hit the guy, maybe try the occasional bunt. See if you can catch the defense off guard. The New York Times yesterday had a blog post on how you might beat Cliff Lee. One of them was to test Michael Young with the bunt, as he is one of the worst 3d baseman at fielding bunts. Sure, the Yankees aren't exactly small ball, but when all you've done is strike out, maybe switch it up a little bit. No such switching up was forthcoming. The Rangers then proceeded to hand us our own rear end. And in our own home! All I know is, it's Cash's fault. Lee would have been pitching game two for us if we'd only been willing to include Nova in a trade. So that's that.

Game 2, Bad

It was a very simple request. All I asked of Hughes was to go 8 innings and spare the bullpen. He went four, gave up seven runs, and didn't spare anybody anything. If you're like most Yankee fans you're probably thinking to yourself, "Why was I even born?" We need not go there yet, however. The Yankees now face Cliff Lee in game 3. We have to hope he finally has a game in which he doesn't go 8 or 9 innings, gives up 2 or less runs, then throws a rock through somebody's windshield just because he can. He can't be lights out every time out, and he's due for a simply decent outing if not a bad one. Pettitte's on the mound and has a way of rising to any post-season challenge. Unlike Hughes and Sabathia, Pettitte will probably benefit from the longer lay off than usual. The offense needs to come through if Pettitte hangs tough. Hopefully we have it in us.

Game 1, Good

I'm not really in the mood to do a full fledged game review. Obviously Sabathia did not give us quite what we wanted, but we came through with another come from behind win. All Hughes has to do is go 8 innings tonight and spare our bullpen, then we're good. You might say that's unfair to Hughes, but I'm not going to dignify that with a response.

The offense really came to life in the 8th, going a full seven hitters before giving up an out. The Texas bullpen did not exactly come through for their team, but they sure came through for ours. I think we should give them a hand of applause.

With Lee still a game away, this game was pretty important for Texas. Not only do they hand the ball over to someone not named Cliff Lee, they now have to deal with that "no lead is safe" feeling that is oh so familiar in Minnesota. This should be an interesting game 2.