Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Posada to DL
Bad news for the Yanks, Posada is headed to the DL. Granted, 15 days (or maybe less if they date it retoactively) is not so bad, but we need Posada's bat. At least A-Rod will be back soon. But a Posada and A-Rod-less line-up is not good for anybody.
Jerry Meals Had Show to Catch
I recently got a look at the Yankees Dollar blog, which has this post that shows the Gameday strikezone of home plate umpire Jerry Meals. Apparently, Meals got a lot of calls wrong. But before we get all upset over Meals' strikezone, we should allow Meals to explain himself.
"I was prepared for a 7:05 start time, and the game didn't start until 9:00. They were doing a Golden Girls marathon starting at midnight, and I hadn't set my Tivo thinking that I'd be home by then. Well, when the game got started at 9:00, I was like 'oh crap, I'm going to miss Golden Girls!', so I knew I needed to call some quick strikes if I had any chance to watch it."
But why was Meals only calling strikes against the Yankees and not the Red Sox?
"Because (Expletive Deleted) the Yankees, thats why!"
So there you have it. Meals had a completely reasonable and sober purpose behind calling the strike zone the way he did. The good news is that he won't be behind home plate tonight.
"I was prepared for a 7:05 start time, and the game didn't start until 9:00. They were doing a Golden Girls marathon starting at midnight, and I hadn't set my Tivo thinking that I'd be home by then. Well, when the game got started at 9:00, I was like 'oh crap, I'm going to miss Golden Girls!', so I knew I needed to call some quick strikes if I had any chance to watch it."
But why was Meals only calling strikes against the Yankees and not the Red Sox?
"Because (Expletive Deleted) the Yankees, thats why!"
So there you have it. Meals had a completely reasonable and sober purpose behind calling the strike zone the way he did. The good news is that he won't be behind home plate tonight.
Monday, May 4, 2009
Phil Hughes Needs His Training Wheels Back
The Good
Teixeira hit two home runs today. And while that runs up RJG's deficit, we can officially declare his slump over. I was at tonight's game, and his home runs were definitely the highlight. That and when Sox fans would get thrown out like they were Joe Girardi.
The Bad
Where do we start? No one seems to be able to catch up to Papelbon's fastball, Hughes threw more pitches in four innings than he did all last year, Posada hurt his hamstring (again), and Derek Jeter looked sloppy in the field. Whatever, he's still hot.
The Ugly
The strike zone was not even close to consistent. Essentially, if a Yankee threw a pitch, it was a ball; and if a Red Sock threw a pitch, it was a strike. Girardi should've gotten thrown out for punching the umpire, not for arguing balls and strikes. There has to be some review board the team can complain to about umps like that. Absolutely ridiculous.
Respect Jeter's Gangster in Danger of Closing Its Doors
As you all know, our relationship with Johnny Damon's Home Run Club has nearly bankrupted us. While we have renegotiated our labor agreements with the unions, we are still waiting for Congress to authorize the Obama administration to use TARP funds to help us avoid bankruptcy. If RJG were to file for Chapter 11 it is unlikely that the recent economic turnaround would continue; too many jobs and mortgaged back securities are at stake. Johnny Damon hit a home run tonight, and Marky T hit two. I think hitting home runs for your own charity is collusion; Selena Roberts is investigating.
Jorge Posada 4hr = $4.00
Hideki Matsui 2hr = $2.00
Derek Jeter 4hr = $4.00
Mark Teixeira 5hr = $5.00
Nick Swisher 7hr = $7.00
Robinson Cano 5hr = $5.00
Johnny Damon 5hr = $5.00
Melky Cabrera 4hr = $4.00
Jose Molina 1hr = $1.00
Total = $37.00
If you are interested in Johnny Damon's Homerun Club or the Children's Health Fund you can find links to both at the top right hand corner of our page.
Teixeira hit two home runs today. And while that runs up RJG's deficit, we can officially declare his slump over. I was at tonight's game, and his home runs were definitely the highlight. That and when Sox fans would get thrown out like they were Joe Girardi.
The Bad
Where do we start? No one seems to be able to catch up to Papelbon's fastball, Hughes threw more pitches in four innings than he did all last year, Posada hurt his hamstring (again), and Derek Jeter looked sloppy in the field. Whatever, he's still hot.
The Ugly
The strike zone was not even close to consistent. Essentially, if a Yankee threw a pitch, it was a ball; and if a Red Sock threw a pitch, it was a strike. Girardi should've gotten thrown out for punching the umpire, not for arguing balls and strikes. There has to be some review board the team can complain to about umps like that. Absolutely ridiculous.
Respect Jeter's Gangster in Danger of Closing Its Doors
As you all know, our relationship with Johnny Damon's Home Run Club has nearly bankrupted us. While we have renegotiated our labor agreements with the unions, we are still waiting for Congress to authorize the Obama administration to use TARP funds to help us avoid bankruptcy. If RJG were to file for Chapter 11 it is unlikely that the recent economic turnaround would continue; too many jobs and mortgaged back securities are at stake. Johnny Damon hit a home run tonight, and Marky T hit two. I think hitting home runs for your own charity is collusion; Selena Roberts is investigating.
Jorge Posada 4hr = $4.00
Hideki Matsui 2hr = $2.00
Derek Jeter 4hr = $4.00
Mark Teixeira 5hr = $5.00
Nick Swisher 7hr = $7.00
Robinson Cano 5hr = $5.00
Johnny Damon 5hr = $5.00
Melky Cabrera 4hr = $4.00
Jose Molina 1hr = $1.00
Total = $37.00
If you are interested in Johnny Damon's Homerun Club or the Children's Health Fund you can find links to both at the top right hand corner of our page.
Rain, Rain, Go Away
We've already postponed two games due to rain this season, and now the life giving substance threatens yet another one tonight. Since there's no games to write about I thought it may be a good time to discuss Derek Jeter's switch to the lead off position. So far, we like it.
And that's the award winning style of journalism the RJG is known for.
I hope we get this game in today. Back-to-back rainouts will be harmful to fan morale.
And that's the award winning style of journalism the RJG is known for.
I hope we get this game in today. Back-to-back rainouts will be harmful to fan morale.
Saturday, May 2, 2009
Yankees Not All That Good With Sabathia
The Good
Posada hit a homerun, his second in as many games, as he came in as a pinch hitter. Jeter stole his 5th base of the season.
The Bad
SixYankee starting position players went hitless including Damon who went 0-5, and Teixeira who went 0-3 with a walk, bringing his season average down to .182. Cano's hit streak ended with an 0-4 game.
The Ugly
I know the Yankees have no confidence in the bullpen, but running up Sabathia pitch count is INCREDIBLY STUPID. They sent him out for the 7th inning, and he got rocked. He had already thrown 99 pitches going into the 7th. Sabathia has been horrible when they try to stretch him out like this, so here is my note to the Yankees: Fix your bullpen, and you won't have to wear Sabathia out in the first year of his 7 year $161 million contract. Durability has its limits.
Respect Jeter's Gangster is for the Children
The "Respect Jeter's Gangster" blog joined Johnny Damon's home run club, which raises money for the Children's Health Fund. We are pledged to donate $1.00 for every homerun the Yankees hit this season. We will keep a running tally of the home runs hit and the money donated throughout the season. Posada hit his 4th homerun of the season, and his second in as many days. The children thank him.
Jorge Posada 4hr = $4.00
Hideki Matsui 2hr = $2.00
Derek Jeter 4hr = $4.00
Mark Teixeira 3hr = $3.00
Nick Swisher 7hr = $7.00
Robinson Cano 5hr = $5.00
Johnny Damon 4hr = $4.00
Melky Cabrera 4hr = $4.00
Jose Molina 1hr = $1.00
Total = $34.00
If you are interested in Johnny Damon's Homerun Club or the Children's Health Fund you can find links to both at the top right hand corner of our page.
Posada hit a homerun, his second in as many games, as he came in as a pinch hitter. Jeter stole his 5th base of the season.
The Bad
SixYankee starting position players went hitless including Damon who went 0-5, and Teixeira who went 0-3 with a walk, bringing his season average down to .182. Cano's hit streak ended with an 0-4 game.
The Ugly
I know the Yankees have no confidence in the bullpen, but running up Sabathia pitch count is INCREDIBLY STUPID. They sent him out for the 7th inning, and he got rocked. He had already thrown 99 pitches going into the 7th. Sabathia has been horrible when they try to stretch him out like this, so here is my note to the Yankees: Fix your bullpen, and you won't have to wear Sabathia out in the first year of his 7 year $161 million contract. Durability has its limits.
Respect Jeter's Gangster is for the Children
The "Respect Jeter's Gangster" blog joined Johnny Damon's home run club, which raises money for the Children's Health Fund. We are pledged to donate $1.00 for every homerun the Yankees hit this season. We will keep a running tally of the home runs hit and the money donated throughout the season. Posada hit his 4th homerun of the season, and his second in as many days. The children thank him.
Jorge Posada 4hr = $4.00
Hideki Matsui 2hr = $2.00
Derek Jeter 4hr = $4.00
Mark Teixeira 3hr = $3.00
Nick Swisher 7hr = $7.00
Robinson Cano 5hr = $5.00
Johnny Damon 4hr = $4.00
Melky Cabrera 4hr = $4.00
Jose Molina 1hr = $1.00
Total = $34.00
If you are interested in Johnny Damon's Homerun Club or the Children's Health Fund you can find links to both at the top right hand corner of our page.
Posada Delivers, Stealing Melky's Catch Phrase
The Good
Another late inning rally by the Yankees results in another pathetic loss for the Angels. Posada's game winning single ties the all-time record for walk-off singles, in the bottom of the ninth, with the bases loaded and no outs, during a night game in which it rained within the last three days, and the starting pitcher was named Andy. Thanks to the boys at Elias Sports Bureau for that one.
The Bad
Swisher was hit on the elbow in the first inning and is now day to day. Derek Jeter has vowed revenge.
The Ugly
When Posada returned to the clubhouse, he was running around yelling, "The Posada man delivers. The Yankees Win! Theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee Yankees win!" Melky was upset because 'the Melk man delivers' is his catch phrase. Melky couldn't do anything about it though because Posada's crazy. If he said something, he wouldn't be the first teammate Posada punched out in the clubhouse. So to make himself feel better he told Brett Gardner what a great player Gardner is.
RJG Needs a Bailout
Before the season began, RJG committed to donating one dollar to Johnny Damon's home run club. That was before we knew about the jet stream in right field. We currently owe Johnny Damon $3,000 dollars, and are seriously in the red. Despite that, and our repeated pleas, these bastards keep hitting home runs. Posada hit one in the first. We would say something, but it wouldn't be the first time he punched out a member of the media in the Yankees clubhouse.
Jorge Posada 4hr = $4.00
Hideki Matsui 2hr = $2.00
Derek Jeter 4hr = $4.00
Mark Teixeira 3hr = $3.00
Nick Swisher 7hr = $7.00
Robinson Cano 5hr = $5.00
Johnny Damon 4hr = $4.00
Melky Cabrera 4hr = $4.00
Jose Molina 1hr = $1.00
Total = $34.00
Another late inning rally by the Yankees results in another pathetic loss for the Angels. Posada's game winning single ties the all-time record for walk-off singles, in the bottom of the ninth, with the bases loaded and no outs, during a night game in which it rained within the last three days, and the starting pitcher was named Andy. Thanks to the boys at Elias Sports Bureau for that one.
The Bad
Swisher was hit on the elbow in the first inning and is now day to day. Derek Jeter has vowed revenge.
The Ugly
When Posada returned to the clubhouse, he was running around yelling, "The Posada man delivers. The Yankees Win! Theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee Yankees win!" Melky was upset because 'the Melk man delivers' is his catch phrase. Melky couldn't do anything about it though because Posada's crazy. If he said something, he wouldn't be the first teammate Posada punched out in the clubhouse. So to make himself feel better he told Brett Gardner what a great player Gardner is.
RJG Needs a Bailout
Before the season began, RJG committed to donating one dollar to Johnny Damon's home run club. That was before we knew about the jet stream in right field. We currently owe Johnny Damon $3,000 dollars, and are seriously in the red. Despite that, and our repeated pleas, these bastards keep hitting home runs. Posada hit one in the first. We would say something, but it wouldn't be the first time he punched out a member of the media in the Yankees clubhouse.
Jorge Posada 4hr = $4.00
Hideki Matsui 2hr = $2.00
Derek Jeter 4hr = $4.00
Mark Teixeira 3hr = $3.00
Nick Swisher 7hr = $7.00
Robinson Cano 5hr = $5.00
Johnny Damon 4hr = $4.00
Melky Cabrera 4hr = $4.00
Jose Molina 1hr = $1.00
Total = $34.00
Friday, May 1, 2009
How Close is Jeter to the Red Sox Infield Really?
The New York Times recently published an article describing how most of the Red Sox infield loves and respects Yankee Captain Derek Jeter. We here at RJG found that hard to believe, since the Red Sox infield is notorious for its lack of warmth, ability to connect emotionally, and personal hygiene. We approached all three players about the NYTimes report to find out the truth.
At first, Red Sox second baseman, Dustin Pedroia, was reluctant to speak to us. Seven beers later, his usual breakfast, he was much more loquacious. "I had a locker next to Jeter's during the WBC. So one time, I asked him to hand me a pencil. The next day, I got a phone call. The voice said Jeter was calling in the favor I owed him from the time he handed me that pencil, and that I had to drive a car parked out front across state borders. I had no idea what to do. The voice said that if I didn't do it, Jeter would be disappointed, and then I'd be disappointed . . . from the hospital. I drove the car. Since then, I always say hi to Jeter when he gets on base and I don't do anything to upset him."
"Jeter's a phony," said Red Sox first baseman Kevin Youkilis, quoting himself. "That's what I said to the press my first day in Boston. Then, the next day, I came to work and Wally's head was in my locker, blood everywhere." This was followed by about five minutes of inconsolable sobbing. "Then, this huge guy walks in with a shatter-proof mirror. He made me look at my own reflection for a whole hour. I still have nightmares. Since then, I have nothing but nice things to say about Jeter."
Red Sox third baseman Mike Lowell only had this to say, "Does this haircut make me look like Jeter?" Wait . . . that was the Yankees third baseman. Lowell said, "Jeter was real nice to me when I was in the minors. One time, I accidentally used one of his bats, and I was still walking the next day. I really appreciated that, so I always speak highly of him to my associates. Besides, I'm pretty sure Julio Lugo's a snitch. Every time someone says something bad about Jeter, he hears about it. So, I always speak highly of him to the media. I've no choice in the matter, I want to keep playing. Let's just say my last hip injury was no accident."
At first, Red Sox second baseman, Dustin Pedroia, was reluctant to speak to us. Seven beers later, his usual breakfast, he was much more loquacious. "I had a locker next to Jeter's during the WBC. So one time, I asked him to hand me a pencil. The next day, I got a phone call. The voice said Jeter was calling in the favor I owed him from the time he handed me that pencil, and that I had to drive a car parked out front across state borders. I had no idea what to do. The voice said that if I didn't do it, Jeter would be disappointed, and then I'd be disappointed . . . from the hospital. I drove the car. Since then, I always say hi to Jeter when he gets on base and I don't do anything to upset him."
"Jeter's a phony," said Red Sox first baseman Kevin Youkilis, quoting himself. "That's what I said to the press my first day in Boston. Then, the next day, I came to work and Wally's head was in my locker, blood everywhere." This was followed by about five minutes of inconsolable sobbing. "Then, this huge guy walks in with a shatter-proof mirror. He made me look at my own reflection for a whole hour. I still have nightmares. Since then, I have nothing but nice things to say about Jeter."
Red Sox third baseman Mike Lowell only had this to say, "Does this haircut make me look like Jeter?" Wait . . . that was the Yankees third baseman. Lowell said, "Jeter was real nice to me when I was in the minors. One time, I accidentally used one of his bats, and I was still walking the next day. I really appreciated that, so I always speak highly of him to my associates. Besides, I'm pretty sure Julio Lugo's a snitch. Every time someone says something bad about Jeter, he hears about it. So, I always speak highly of him to the media. I've no choice in the matter, I want to keep playing. Let's just say my last hip injury was no accident."
Melky and Pena Show Why They Don't Play Second Fiddle
The Good
Burnett labored but he finished with a 7 inning 4-run outing. Phil Coke and Mariano Rivera pitched the last two innings flawlessly with Mo striking out 2 for his 5th save of the season. Jeter, Cabrera and Pena all had a pair of hits. Melky drove in the go-ahead run with a bases loaded single, and then Pena followed that up with a 2-run double, the first RBI's of his career. Damon hit a homerun early in the game.
Pena came from Double A to the majors and was largely seen as a great glove with no batting abilities. However, since he's been getting more playing time, he hasn't looked helpless at the plate. He has good at bats, works counts, and isn't up there flailing at everything that comes his way. Don't get me wrong, he's not hitting opposite field homeruns every other at bat, but he's also not as offensively flawed as we thought he was.
The Bad
Marky T's 1-4 night has his average at .200. He is having good at-bats, but the results aren't quite there yet. The good thing is that he's eventually going to turn things around, and that could be quite a boost for this team when it does happen.
The Ugly
I was watching the game at a Buffalo Wild Wings where they were also playing the Red Sox - Rays game. I looked up in the 6th inning of that game, and realized that Matt Garza had a no-hitter going. In fact, it was a perfect game. Then in the 7th, the ever selfish Jacoby Ellsbury hit a ball back to the pitcher that Garza couldn't grab and Bartlett the shortstop couldn't field. The perfect game was turned to a one-hitter, but the ugly has nothing to do with that, it has to do with Buffalo Wild Wings wings. They aren't that good, and sometimes they give you wings from chickens that appear to have been malnourished. I enjoy their Mango Habaneros and the Garlic Parm isn't bad, but that's about what I can stomach. If it wasn't for their 500 big screen TV's and the two dozen "6 free wings" coupons I have, I probably would not be watching games there.
Respect Jeter's Gangster is for the Children
The "Respect Jeter's Gangster" blog joined Johnny Damon's home run club, which raises money for the Children's Health Fund. We are pledged to donate $1.00 for every homerun the Yankees hit this season. We will keep a running tally of the home runs hit and the money donated throughout the season. Damon made sure the right field wind tunnel would get more media attention with his second deck homerun in the 3rd inning of last nights game.
Jorge Posada 3hr = $3.00
Hideki Matsui 2hr = $2.00
Derek Jeter 4hr = $4.00
Mark Teixeira 3hr = $3.00
Nick Swisher 7hr = $7.00
Robinson Cano 5hr = $5.00
Johnny Damon 4hr = $4.00
Melky Cabrera 4hr = $4.00
Jose Molina 1hr = $1.00
Total = $33.00
If you are interested in Johnny Damon's Homerun Club or the Children's Health Fund you can find links to both at the top right hand corner of our page.
Burnett labored but he finished with a 7 inning 4-run outing. Phil Coke and Mariano Rivera pitched the last two innings flawlessly with Mo striking out 2 for his 5th save of the season. Jeter, Cabrera and Pena all had a pair of hits. Melky drove in the go-ahead run with a bases loaded single, and then Pena followed that up with a 2-run double, the first RBI's of his career. Damon hit a homerun early in the game.
Pena came from Double A to the majors and was largely seen as a great glove with no batting abilities. However, since he's been getting more playing time, he hasn't looked helpless at the plate. He has good at bats, works counts, and isn't up there flailing at everything that comes his way. Don't get me wrong, he's not hitting opposite field homeruns every other at bat, but he's also not as offensively flawed as we thought he was.
The Bad
Marky T's 1-4 night has his average at .200. He is having good at-bats, but the results aren't quite there yet. The good thing is that he's eventually going to turn things around, and that could be quite a boost for this team when it does happen.
The Ugly
I was watching the game at a Buffalo Wild Wings where they were also playing the Red Sox - Rays game. I looked up in the 6th inning of that game, and realized that Matt Garza had a no-hitter going. In fact, it was a perfect game. Then in the 7th, the ever selfish Jacoby Ellsbury hit a ball back to the pitcher that Garza couldn't grab and Bartlett the shortstop couldn't field. The perfect game was turned to a one-hitter, but the ugly has nothing to do with that, it has to do with Buffalo Wild Wings wings. They aren't that good, and sometimes they give you wings from chickens that appear to have been malnourished. I enjoy their Mango Habaneros and the Garlic Parm isn't bad, but that's about what I can stomach. If it wasn't for their 500 big screen TV's and the two dozen "6 free wings" coupons I have, I probably would not be watching games there.
Respect Jeter's Gangster is for the Children
The "Respect Jeter's Gangster" blog joined Johnny Damon's home run club, which raises money for the Children's Health Fund. We are pledged to donate $1.00 for every homerun the Yankees hit this season. We will keep a running tally of the home runs hit and the money donated throughout the season. Damon made sure the right field wind tunnel would get more media attention with his second deck homerun in the 3rd inning of last nights game.
Jorge Posada 3hr = $3.00
Hideki Matsui 2hr = $2.00
Derek Jeter 4hr = $4.00
Mark Teixeira 3hr = $3.00
Nick Swisher 7hr = $7.00
Robinson Cano 5hr = $5.00
Johnny Damon 4hr = $4.00
Melky Cabrera 4hr = $4.00
Jose Molina 1hr = $1.00
Total = $33.00
If you are interested in Johnny Damon's Homerun Club or the Children's Health Fund you can find links to both at the top right hand corner of our page.
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Nick the Swish Strikes Again
The Good
An exceptional pitching performance by Joba Chamberlain who went 7 innings, allowing 1 run and striking out 6. Phil Coke pitched a scoreless 7, and has effectively dropped his ERA into the respectable zone. Nick the Swish went 2-5 with 2 homeruns. Matsui went 1-2 with 3 walks and drove in 3 runs. The fleet-footed Posada stole a base.
The Bad
Team captain Derek Jeter went 0-5 and botched a play in the field that was ruled a hit. Don't you ever do it again!
The Ugly
Mariano Rivera came into the game and gave up a 3-run homerun off the first batter he faced. Mariano rarely gives up homeruns, and he's given up two in his last two appearances. It has been 5 days since he last pitched but I'm hoping this is a trend that ends now.
Respect Jeter's Gangster is for the Children
The "Respect Jeter's Gangster" blog joined Johnny Damon's home run club, which raises money for the Children's Health Fund. We are pledged to donate $1.00 for every homerun the Yankees hit this season. We will keep a running tally of the home runs hit and the money donated throughout the season. Nick the Swish showed his deep concern for children's health by hitting two homeruns, one from each side of the plate.
Jorge Posada 3hr = $3.00
Hideki Matsui 2hr = $2.00
Derek Jeter 4hr = $4.00
Mark Teixeira 3hr = $3.00
Nick Swisher 7hr = $7.00
Robinson Cano 5hr = $5.00
Johnny Damon 3hr = $3.00
Melky Cabrera 4hr = $4.00
Jose Molina 1hr = $1.00
Total = $32.00
If you are interested in Johnny Damon's Homerun Club or the Children's Health Fund you can find links to both at the top right hand corner of our page.
An exceptional pitching performance by Joba Chamberlain who went 7 innings, allowing 1 run and striking out 6. Phil Coke pitched a scoreless 7, and has effectively dropped his ERA into the respectable zone. Nick the Swish went 2-5 with 2 homeruns. Matsui went 1-2 with 3 walks and drove in 3 runs. The fleet-footed Posada stole a base.
The Bad
Team captain Derek Jeter went 0-5 and botched a play in the field that was ruled a hit. Don't you ever do it again!
The Ugly
Mariano Rivera came into the game and gave up a 3-run homerun off the first batter he faced. Mariano rarely gives up homeruns, and he's given up two in his last two appearances. It has been 5 days since he last pitched but I'm hoping this is a trend that ends now.
Respect Jeter's Gangster is for the Children
The "Respect Jeter's Gangster" blog joined Johnny Damon's home run club, which raises money for the Children's Health Fund. We are pledged to donate $1.00 for every homerun the Yankees hit this season. We will keep a running tally of the home runs hit and the money donated throughout the season. Nick the Swish showed his deep concern for children's health by hitting two homeruns, one from each side of the plate.
Jorge Posada 3hr = $3.00
Hideki Matsui 2hr = $2.00
Derek Jeter 4hr = $4.00
Mark Teixeira 3hr = $3.00
Nick Swisher 7hr = $7.00
Robinson Cano 5hr = $5.00
Johnny Damon 3hr = $3.00
Melky Cabrera 4hr = $4.00
Jose Molina 1hr = $1.00
Total = $32.00
If you are interested in Johnny Damon's Homerun Club or the Children's Health Fund you can find links to both at the top right hand corner of our page.
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Zach Grienke is Looking to Destroy the American League
This just in. Royals pitcher Zach Grienke has set his sights on the destruction of all Major League teams. After years of pent up frustration as a pitcher for one of the worst ball clubs in the Majors, Grienke finally snapped and decided to take his revenge out on the rest of baseball. This revenge has taken form in Grienke's 4-0 record in 4 starts and a competitive yet balanced 0.00 ERA. He's pitched 29 innings including two consecutive complete games, and has struck out 36 batters. He walked 6 batters in that time, but then threatened to eat their children so they wouldn't score. Tonight Grienke sets his sights on the winningest Blue Jays, whom Grienke has decided will end their winning ways now. If you see this man, avoid eye contact and make sure your estate is in order.
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