Recently, Lou Piniella sent Milton Bradley home for crushing a water cooler after another poor at-bat. Apparently there had been a string of water cooler assaults in the Cubs' dugout as of late, and Lou was tired of it.
"Every time I wanted a drink of water, the cooler was laying on the floor, all the water spilt everywhere. I'm f------g tired of not being able to get a drink when I'm thirsty," Piniella explained.
We thought we should ask Milton Bradley for his side of the story, and he had this to say, "That water cooler, it's always mocking me. I strike out, it just stares at me as I get back in to the dugout. I pop out, it's like, 'I'm orange, f--k you!' I couldn't take it anymore, it had to go."
At first, we were certain Mr. Bradley had lost more than a few Connect Four pieces. However, our minds changed when we spoke to Carlos Zambrano. "Yeah, that water cooler is evil," explained Zambrano. "We hate that thing. Lou loves it, because he thinks its funny. The cooler is always saying things about the umpires, and Lou just laughs, but then he says things about us and it hurts, because Lou just laughs."
The orange water cooler was cracked by Milton Bradley, and has since been replaced by a blue water cooler. "I don't know how I feel about this latest cooler," admitted Bradley. "I mean, it doesn't give me lip, but the old one had balls, you know?"
We know, Mr. Bradley, we know.
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12 comments:
hehehehe!!! yet another wonderful post!!! I bet paul o'neill could of given bradley a run for his money with BP (cooler edition)...wait a minuet..two great baseball players beat up water coolers after bad at bats...hmmm..maybe I should give mines a good hacking next season...you know, the gatorade powder always clumps up and make liquid flow very difficult...thoese damn liquid dispensing mechanisms!!!
Paul O'Neil was full of fire and dertermination, while Milton Bradley is just a crazy black person. Or so the media would lead me to believe.
I am curious Fred Trigger,not to suggest that you are makeing these innuendos, but what is the diffrence between a crazy person and a crazy black person?? is one more erratic than the other? The second one doesnt even exists. I thought crazy was just plain crazy, no other labels needed?
yeah, that didnt come out right. I'm insinuating that Paul gets a pass for being firey and hitting shit becuase he is white, but Bradley is crazy for doing the same shit because he is black. I just think its funny that they both have the same type of personality but are labeled differently by the media.
For a second, I thought wtf, Fred Trigger, but then I realized your point was about the media and race. It is like when the media labels black guys as "natural athletes" while white athletes are "hard workers".
PS I just (finally) added RJG to my favorites list.
yeah, I only thought about it because Ruthie mentioned Paul O'Neil and Milton Bradley in the same sentence.
I'm not really good at articulating my thoughts, which probably led to the confusion.
Sorry guys, I'm not trying to turn this into race, it was just a random thought I had. The post did kick ass, however. A small random suggestion: maybe you should put your greatest hits on a sidebar, so newer viewers of the blog can easily access them, and realize the genius of the blogs writing.
lol... I seriously almost lost it for a second, but I see what you mean now.excelent point../ hellz yea newer readers need a sidebar...the webgems of RJG are mixed in with the frustrated game recap posts from a previous slumps...newer users arn't fully respecting the gangster if they dont see gems like that rare emoticon interview with derek jeter! *\o/* lmao
This was one of the better discussions here. I knew where you were coming from Fred. It is interesting how players like O'Neil and Youkilis are portrayed when they're emotional, and then how guys like Bradley are portrayed. Race definitely seems to play a factor.
I'll have to discuss the side bar idea with my brother, I like it, but I think we'll need to have a poll or post where you guys suggest your favorites.
Suggestions:
Amything that involves Bronny Cash phonecalls
Every other satirical post that is not a game recap. (punching horses in the face, clubbing seals, ect..)
You DEFINATELY have to have the Jeter strikes back series. Thats what got me hooked.
Man Fred, I'd forgotten about the Jeter strikes back series. Those are good suggestions. I spoke to my brother, the blog administrator, and he likes the side bar idea, we'll get some posts together and put it up. More suggestions always welcome, folks.
How come Carlos Zambrano didn't got sent home when he crushed a water cooler after pitching a poor inning?
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