Saturday, June 20, 2009

We're Lazy, So 2 in 1 It Is

The Good

The Yanks are in position to take this series, something they failed to do against the Nationals and Red Sox (all season). Burnett pitched a gem tonight, but so did Josh Johnson, who goes by JJ.

The Bad

After being embarrassed on regional television by the lowly Nationals, the Yankees have put themselves in position to be embarrassed by the slightly less lowly Marlins. Motherf----!

The Ugly

We intercepted this fully self-aware communique from Yankee brass to Marlins owner Jeffrey Loria:

Dear Mr. Loria,

Your half empty stadium looks awful on TV.

Go f--k yourself,

Yankee Ownership (Drafted by J. Girardi)

The Charity That Makes Me Do Math

Melky hit one yesterday, and Posada, who was 0-4, scored our only run tonight, which means no home runs. I think that accounts for all the home runs. If it doesn't, either complain in the comments section or send a strongly worded email to my brother and we'll fix it.

Jorge Posada 9hr = $9.00
Hideki Matsui 10hr = $10.00
Derek Jeter 9hr = $9.00
Mark Teixeira 20hr = $20.00
Nick Swisher 12hr = $12.00
Robinson Cano 12hr = $12.00
Johnny Damon 14hr = $14.00
Melky Cabrera 7hr = $7.00
Jose Molina 1hr = $1.00
Alex Rodriguez 9hr = $9.00
Brett Gardner 2hr = $2.00
Total = $105.00

If you are interested in Johnny Damon's Homerun Club or the Children's Health Fund you can find links to both at the top right hand corner of our page.

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