Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Cash Gets A Call

I thought I'd take a break from an ugly game to give good friend of the blog, Yankees GM Brian Cashman, a call via satellite video phone. The following is a transcript of our conversation:

BC: Hello?

RJG: Watching the game, Bronny?

BC: Well, it's sort of my job...

RJG: Me neither. Oh well, you can't win 'em all. What a team you've put together! They're really getting it done.

BC: Yes, we've been playing well. Like I've said all along, we knew we had the pieces right here.

RJG: You're right. And when you're right you're right. Your off-season pick-ups have really paid off. Hey, how'd you get Chicago to trade Swisher for Betemit? Did you use your ninja skills, or did you call Kenny Williams on the day of his daughter's wedding, knowing he could refuse no request for a favor?

BC: No. I just called and said, "You will give Nick Swisher and the Wookiee to me." He was all like, "Your Jedi powers will not work on me, boy. Just kidding, yes they will. Take Swisher." Then I was like, "Take Betemit." And he was like, "I will take Betemit. Jaba no bother." Then I hung up.

RJG: Are you serious?

BC: What? Do you think I called him up and said, "How about Swisher for Betemit?" and he said, "Yes"?

RJG: Good point. Well, you also did a great job signing Teixeira. He's really been a difference maker.

BC: We've had our eye on him for a while. We knew back in 2005 that he would be a free agent in 2008, so we got to work. We announced that we were building a new stadium, then we built it's dimensions so that they would be Teixeira friendly. When he became a free agent, he was all like, "Boston's made a good offer." So I was like, "Look closely at these blue prints. Look at the right field walls. Closely." Then he was like, "Oh sh-t! I can hit home runs there." Then I showed him a picture of Youkilis, and he was like, "Oh sh-t! I'm going to have to look at that guy all game if I sign with Boston." Check mate b-tch.

RJG: Wow. Everything you say sounds made up. Are you high?

BC: I'm high on life b-tch.

RJG: Can you stop calling me that?

BC: Can you stop calling me?

RJG: It's not all about you, Bronny.


There you have it folks. We have to learn to trust the GM when he says we have the pieces in-house to be successful.

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