Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Yankees GM Discusses Trade Deadline

With the trade deadline now behind us and a less than impressive weekend performance in Chicago, we thought it was time to speak to good friend of the blog Brian Cashman via satellite video phone. Below, for your consideration, is a transcript of the conversation:

BC: Hello?

RJG: [singing] I'm a barbie girl, in a barbie woooooooooorld...

BC: What the f...

RJG: Come on Bronny, don't you want to be a barbie girl too?

BC: No, I do not.

RJG: Yeah, I guess you're more of a material girl.

BC: What?!

RJG: Easy Bronny. Let's get down to business. The trade deadline has passed and we only picked up a utility infielder despite our clear need for another starter. In fact, with Joba eventually needing to return to the 'pen because of his innings cap, we need two starters. WTF?

BC: We were close on some players, but ultimately we were unwilling to trade our best prospects for them.

RJG: Bull$#!* Bronny! Tell that cheap bastard you call your boss, Hal, to open up his sizable wallet and spend some money on his team.

BC: That's not the issue.

RJG: Yes it is.

BC: No it's not.

RJG: Yes it is. Say it Bronny, Hal's a cheap bastard.

BC: No, I won't.

RJG: Say it. I know you want to.

BC: Okay, okay, Hal's a cheap bastard! He wouldn't even take on Washburn's measly $3.5 million in additional salary. But Hal says I can't sign anymore players until we sell some more Legends Seats. That ain't happening.

RJG: Have you ever considered strippers in the Legends Seats? That might move some tickets.

BC: Hal refuses to pay for them. I hate that guy.

RJG: Well I thank you for your candor.

BC: No. I thank you.

RJG: It's not all about you Bronny.


There you have it folks, the Yankees are committed to lowering their payroll.

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