It was widely reported that A-Rod was to meet Federal investigators in Buffalo yesterday to discuss his relationship with the evil Dr. Tony Galea. That meeting, however, was postponed by mutual consent according to the Daily News, in order to "avoid a media circus."
"It's really disappointing," said one AP reporter. "We work really hard putting on this circus and people always try to avoid it. I mean, any journalism major can juggle three balls, or even bowling pins in the air. But I juggle sticks that are on fire. Do you know how much work I put into that just to have these guys not show up? That's bull$#!%."
Indeed, many members of the press spend countless hours preparing and rehearsing their media circus, only to be insulted by celebrities and persons of interest who refuse to show up.
"What the f*** am I supposed to do with this tiger I bought?" yelled one photographer working with Reuters. "I spent months training it. You can't just return a trained tiger to the wild, the other tigers will make fun of him. It will be like Madagascar 2 where Ben Stiller gets disowned by the Lion King. It's not right for these guys not to show up after we've put so much work into this thing."
"I've spent the last two years growing this beard," explained one female reporter. "Rogaine, weekly hormone treatments with Manny Ramirez. For what? For nothing, that's what. Just so A-Rod can screw me over. I'm definitely writing another book about how awful he is after I break into his house again while his daughter sleeps upstairs."
While this recent turn of events may sour A-Rod's rebuilt relationship with the press, A-Rod is focused purely on baseball.
"It was important for me to be here," said A-Rod. "To play the Phillies again in Spring Training, get a couple at-bats and then drive home before the game is in the sixth inning. This is what it's all about."