Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Yankees Outing A Huge Mistake

Yankees Manager Joe Girardi thought he could keep playing with fire and not get burned. For the second year in a row, Girardi took his team out to a local venue in a misguided attempt to build unity. But you can only put a bunch of type A competitive personalities in fierce video game battle for so long before it all goes horribly wrong.

"We were playing Street Fighter, and I'm talking the original Street Fighter, and I was winning," explained a teary eyed Phil Hughes. "I was all like, 'Haduken!' And so Joba just turned reached around the back of the machine and unplugged it. I told Joe but he was all, 'nobody likes a tattle tale, Phil.' It's like, why do I even try for this guy? You know?"

Other games didn't go much better. "They had an old N-64 in the back, hooked up to a TV and we were playing Bond," related a clearly annoyed Jorge Posada. "I just woke up and I didn't have a gun or body armor or anything! Then A-Rod came around the corner and starts shooting at me. All I could do was slap at him helplessly and yell that I didn't even have a gun yet, but he just laughed and kept shooting. So I say, 'see, this is why you'll never be like Jeter.' Then he just turned the game off and stormed off. I don't think he's in camp today."

A-Rod isn't the only player missing after Yesterday's outing. After a disappointing showing in the Skee ball tournament, Curtis Granderson explained that, "I used to be good at Skee ball, but I was really disappointed at myself for my performance. I’ll need to go back and figure out this Skee ball machine compared to the ones I used to play."

Early this morning, Granderson notified the Yankees that he would not be reporting to camp for the next three days because of a personal matter. The Yankees, however, have not granted Granderson leave from camp, as his "personal matter" is him being holed up in that arcade studying the contours of the Skee ball machine.

"I can't leave until I've figured this thing out," said Granderson. "It's just my competitive nature. I've been watching video of my performance and studying how the ball moves on this machine. I've been on the phone every twenty minutes with K-Long. He hasn't been much help."

Girardi knows it will be up to him to smooth over the hurt feelings after Yesterday's outing. Only time will tell whether this most recent controversy will consume the Yankees or help bring them closer together, propelling them to a 28th championship.


Rich Mahogany said...

ARod can beat the Aztec level on 007 Agent.

lady gaganonymous said...

Granderson was distracted by talking to Andy. Understandable, really. (Also, Andy threw him off with his magical left-handed pitching powers.)

That picture of Aceves is pretty much the most awesome thing ever.

Jon Roberts said...