Tuesday, July 26, 2011

At Least They Still Have Ichiro

The Good

Freddy Garcia had his longest outing of the season, a 7.2 innings 3-run effort. Jeter hit a homerun and a triple proving that he can still flex when he needs to. Steve Garrison made his major league debut, locking down the last two outs of the 9th.

The Bad

The Mariners losing streak was extended to 16 straight games. Emissaries from the Kansas City Royals and the Pittsburgh Pirates were sent to the Mariners clubhouse to assist the grieving players.

The Ugly

In the same way that we had to come to grips with Jeter's decline, it appears the Mariners need to come to grips with the humanity of Ichiro Suzuki. For the first time in his major league career, he looks poised to finish with a sub .300 batting average. Luckily, we still have Mariano, who much like fine wine, seems to get better with age.

They Left the Game Mentally and Physically Bent

We represent! That would be an Inspectah Deck line continuing our theme of Wu-Tang inspired lyrics. Mark Teixeira and Derek Jeter hit homeruns to assist the babies at the Children's Health Fund.

Mark Teixeira 27hr = $54
Curtis Granderson 27hr = $54
Russell Martin 10hr = $20
Alex Rodriguez 13hr = $26
Jorge Posada 9hr = $18
Robinson Cano 16hr = $32
Andruw Jones 5hr = $10
Brett Gardner 4hr = $8
Nick Swisher 12hr = $24
Derek Jeter 4hr = $8
Francisco Cervelli 1hr = $2
Eduardo Nunez 3hr = $6
Ramiro Pena 1hr = $2
Total = $264


Uncle Mike said...

Jeter's in decline? Somebody forgot to tell him. And forgot to tell the Mariners.

At least Seattle has Ichiro? No, at MOST, Seattle has Ichiro.

Fernando Alejandro said...

He's not the Jeter of old, but I won't be surprised if he finishes the season above .300.

And that's a good point about Seattle.