Saturday, July 5, 2008

Live Game Blog

Third game of the series in this set of four and the Yankees are looking for a win. With Justin Masterson pitching it should be a possibility. But with the Yankees hitting, it may not be.

4:03pm Update

Moose is currently pitching to Manny, which seems dangerous. But his struggles with Manny aside, and assuming that neither Hughes nor Kennedy becomes Cy Young between now and February, should the Yanks consider resigning Moose to a one year contract perhaps? Worth considering since it may be cheaper than other free agent options.

4:10pm Update

A 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 inning for Moose. No runs though, despite the fact that he faced Manny. Pedroia got greedy trying to take second (it's not easy running the bases and applying Rogain at the same time). Gardner threw his prematurely aged arse, and was just robbed by Masterson.

4:18pm Update

Masterson seemed to have used some sort of baseball tracking beam in the first inning, hence the two consecutive come-backers, which doesn't fall under MLBs screening program. Moose is throwing a lot of first pitch strikes and he should have a good day.

4:20pm Update

Other than the home plate ump being a complete douche, good inning for Mussina. I hope somebody's explaining how a strike zone works to the ump, with their fists.

4:27pm Update

That four pitch walk by Masterson, bookended by two first pitch outs more or less explains exactly why the Yanks have struggled so much offensively. They're not the patient, get a pitcher out after 5 innings team they were in the Joe Torre heyday. I suggest a moratorium on first pitch swings, especially when facing a rookie with control issues. Nice slide there by Giambi, he's been working out with the U.S. Olympic Gymnastics squad.

4:34pm Update

Did anybody sign Ellsbury's permission slip to come to New York this weekend?

4:38pm Update

Drew looked stupid on that pitch. I mean, he generally looks stupid, but he really looked stupid on that pitch.

4:58pm Update

The Yankees did what they do best there: load the bases and have nothing to show for it. In fairness, Betemit hit that ball hard but Pedroia just happened to be right in position for it. Tough break. Man Ram (as the closer referred to him during the Red Sox line-up intro on fox) just got hit for the second time today (though the first time he wasn't really hit). Perhaps retaliation for A-Rod being hit. I prefer to say that it was just Moose being Moose.

5:10pm Update

Cano was just hit, which makes for the fourth hit batter of the day. Thing is, none of the hits look particularly intentional. No one really aims for the calf. The second hit of Ramirez was more a product of his beginning to move his hands through the zone than anything else. On a side note, I wonder if Masterson has to hold someone's hand when he crosses the street.

5:15pm Update

You know what would make me really happy? If Buck and McCarver would shut the #%@! up! That would make me happy. Also, Fox, please get a color guy.

5:23pm Update

Note to Ellsbury, don't run on Molina and your parents are at the office to pick you up. I like the catch over Molina by Moose. Moose is moving forward and therefore the catch was his to make, luckily, due to the height difference, the lack of communication wasn't an issue.

5:38pm Update

Man Ram is up. Will Moose go for the hat trick?

5:43pm Update

Moose just threw the same pitch twice, first time called a ball, the second time called a strike. Home plat ump Kerwin Danley has been less than consistent, but both pitchers have made the best of it. Probably if they don't get a call they just throw the same pitch again, figuring that with his inconsistency Danley might call a strike next time.

5:55pm Update

On the bright side, they loaded the bases and scored once. That's improvement!

5:58pm Update

The kid pitched well, limiting the damage when he got into trouble. Two bases loaded situations and one run to show for it, not bad for Masterson. Quite bad for the Yankees' offense.

6:23pm Update

If Farnsworth can survive this inning with one run or less, the Yanks should be good. This Red Sox line-up does not have the experience against Mo that the 2004 Sox did and that is an advantage to the Yankee closer.

6:30pm Update

Note to Sidney Ponson: Molina can take a hit, don't mess with him. Quite the foul tip off the mask there by Molina. Great to see him stay in the game. And another nice defensive play by Cano. No base runners for Farnsworth.

6:35pm Update

Meant to mention this earlier. But they were showing the Yankee dugout earlier, and someone seriously needs to engage Brett Gardner in conversation. Seriously. He's just sitting there.

6:42pm Update

Mo gives up a hit, now he need Man Ram to hit into a double play. Wow that sentence sounds so dirty.

Final Update

I spent that entire last inning saying two words. One was holy and I'll let you guess the other one. Mo came really close to blowing that game for Moose, which would be about the third time the Yanks have lost one of Moose's games which they should've won. But they won, and the Yanks probably won't get yelled at by Girardi today, which is good. They still can't have candy, which is bad.

Live Blog Attempt Later Today

Yesterday I experimented with the idea of a live blog and today will try it out for real. So prepare yourselves for nine innings of insightful baseball commentary and made up $#!%. It should be interesting and utterly unrepresentative of what other future live blogs will be like, since those will be done by my brother.

Friday, July 4, 2008

Yanks Respond Positively to Girardi

The Yankees responded to last night's tongue lashing by Joe Girardi by losing in grand fashion today. They mustered 6 hits and left 20 men on base. At some point you have to look at a team and at least consider accepting that this all you've got. It's true that the Yankees are better off at this point in the season than last year when they won the wild card. The difference is last year Damon, Abreu, Cano, Cabrera all had monster first half slumps which you knew if they could break out of the team would play better. That's not the case this year. The Yanks just don't seem to have much life in them. It's almost as though they're bored with hitting. I'm not seeing anything to give me much confidence. And as much as Yankee fans keep saying Tampa Bay will choke, at some point you have to realize that's just something you say to make yourself feel better. I don't think Tampa is going to fade. If the Sox and Yanks don't want to deal with them then they're going to have to beat them. If a team is number one at the end of April you can say they got lucky, but at the end of June that is much less likely (though we can't forget what happened to the Mazzilli lead Baltimore Orioles a few years back). The Rays have good pitching and they've been a good offensive team for a few years now. They're not going away just because we wish it. If we can't beat teams we're supposed to beat (i.e. the Rangers) and can't play well in our division (i.e. we can at best hope for a split at this point) then the Yanks are not going to be playing in October. It is a bit of a rebuilding year with the pitching staff, but at this point that's not an excuse. We're not losing because Hughes and Kennedy aren't hitting their spots (we made up injuries so we could put them on the DL and get them out of the rotation). We're losing because we can't hit with men on base. That's a bad sign.

Wow, We Suck!

So let me get this straight, bases loaded with one out, Abreu and A-Rod coming up to bat and we get nothing. We get shutdown by two medicore relievers. Great job boys, i hope Girardi yells at you again.

4:20pm update:

On-field delay prior to Julio Lugo's at bat as Ronald McDonald streaked naked across the field. None of the security guards wanted to tackle him so they just chased him around for a while. That gave the Red Sox time to explain to Julio Lugo that the goal of hitting is to put the ball into play, not into a defender's glove.

4:21pm update:

A-Rod blows the throw to first. He was distracted by a blonde woman in the stands he mistook for Madonna.

6:22pm update:

The Yankees really need to get it together, that's all I can say at this point.

Thursday, July 3, 2008

A-Rod's Divorce Derails Offense

When the Yankees manage only 5 hits off of a rookie pitcher and no runs some might attribute it to the inconsistency they've shown all year. But it's clear to the observant sports fan that this is all A-Rod's fault. A-Rod knows how big a fan of Madonna Giambi is, why would he hang out with her right before this series, sparking Giambi's jealous rage and distracting him from the task at hand? Now the news has broken that A-Rod is getting divorced and everyone's too sad to hit. They were really looking forward to those free psychological exams, and now that's out the window. What's worse is A-Rod did this in a year when comfort food has been banned from the club house. Unable to curl up with a gallon of ice cream, many of these players may not be right for weeks. The All-Star break couldn't come sooner.

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

O Brother Where Art Thou

As I ignore this cease and desist letter from the Cohen brothers, I figured I should update some of the goings ons. My brother is on his way to Naw 'Lins Lahweezehana and I'm not sure if he's going to update yesterday's game. Not that the Yankees deserve it. For the second night in a row they failed to muster 3 runs against the Texas Rangers. I could score three runs on Texas by myself, let alone with A-Rod batting clean up. I guess the offense is on vacation for the fourth of July. Or maybe Madonna has worn out our beloved third basemen. Hard to say. All I know is that these guys are hardly inspiring much confidence as they head into the Boston series.

Tonight Ponson faces the team that disgraced his family by the way they fired him. Will he exact his revenge? Only time will tell. I'm just waiting to see if Cashman does anything further to shore up the rotation, and the bullpen which is in tatters. With the Yankees foolishly converting Joba into a starter they had no choice but to have Mo pitch the ninth, and it cost them dearly. For shame Yankees player development, for shame!

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

The Rivalry Lives On

In just a few days the Yankees will be facing off against their age old rival, the Boston Red Sox. Although we at the Respect Jeter's Gangster blog are typically about peace, the Red Sox have certainly garnered enough bad karma to make us rethink our philosophical point of view. What bad karma? You ask. Well, we've done our research and have uncovered some major dirt on some prominent Red Sox players. While many Yankee fans have gone soft on the rivalry, these reports will most certainly get you prepared for the upcoming series. I was shocked to find some of these things myself. So now we will release our findings to you in our feature series "The Rivalry Lives On".

In our first feature of the "The Rivalry Lives On" series, we cover the Red Sox captain and catcher Jason Varitek. Many know Varitek as the leader and switch hitting catcher of the Red Sox. He's been with the Red Sox his entire Major League career and has even taken less money to stay with his team. All these things are honorable, but what you may not know about Varitek, could surprise you.

Our investigative team landed on the shores of Prudhoe Bay in the arctic circle following a lead coming from a Green Peace activist. We journeyed through the ice caps before coming upon the Green Peace Camp where we met Greg. Greg was the point of contact for our journey.

"Its been happening since 1997, the first year he came up for the Red Sox." Explained Greg. "Since then its been getting steadily worse."

Was Greg talking about global warming? We wondered. Perhaps the melting of ice caps? How could this be attributed to Jason Varitek? How ridiculous of a claim is this? We feared that we had wasted our time and money traveling to the North Pole. I questioned the wisdom in following an anonymous tip all the way to the North Pole, but then we saw it.

"This is the field." Began Greg. "This is where he started, and if you follow the trail you see where it ends." He explained pointing towards a cave carved out of the ice.

What we witnessed was quite possibly the most horrifying scene you could imagine amidst the peaceful setting of the arctic circle. Hundreds of baby seals strewn across the frigid terrain, all of them having been clubbed to death.

"Every year we see him." Explained Greg. "We play our guitars at him, but he seems immune to it. We held up signs that told him to stop, and he wouldn't. One of them even said 'Clubbing Baby Seals is Wrong', but he didn't seem to care. He says it helps his switch hitting to get stronger, and its apart of his off season training regimen. It just doesn't seem necessary."

If this was not enough to shock you, what Greg explained next certainly would. When asked if Varitek used a baseball bat, or some other baseball instrument for this massacre, Greg said neither.

"He uses endangered panda cubs to club the baby seals. He brings his own baby panda's since they're not native to this terrain. He clubs baby seals with baby panda's. Then to cool down, he heads to the shore and dumps oil on the penguins."

I asked why Varitek would spend so much money to acquire baby panda's and a trip out to the arctic every off season, but Greg said that he didn't spend a dime.

"The Red Sox nation fan fees pay for his trip. Its a line item in the Red Sox budget." He explained as he pulled out a copy of the Red Sox 2007 expense report and pointed towards a line item whose description read 'Baby panda's for Varitek's baby seal clubbing off season training expedition.'

"They don't even try to hide it." Greg stated.

Although we are not Green Peace activists, we did agree that the training seemed a little excessive. We thanked Greg for showing us around and promised we would report our findings to the baseball world. Now you've heard it here first. Jason Varitek clubs baby seals with baby pandas, and pours oil on penguins. The rivalry lives on Thursday, 7:05pm, Yankees vs. Red Sox, Lester vs. Pettitte.

Monday, June 30, 2008

Yankees Are Weak

The Good

Mussina pitched a good 6 innings of 2 run ball despite a 30+ pitch first inning. He struck out 8. Giambi hit his first triple since 2002, and A-Rod hit a homerun for the only Yankee offense of the evening. Ramirez-Veras-Giese combined for three scoreless innings.

The Bad

For a second consecutive night, the Yankees have tapped out at 1 run. Now Mussina gets the loss despite putting up a good pitching performance. Jeter, Abreu, Cano, and Cabrera all had 0's in the hit column. When you can't capitalize on the first Jason Giambi triple since 2002, than there's something wrong.

The Ugly

Anyone who saw the game already knows what the ugly is. Jose Molina took a Jose Veras fastball off the nuts. It was not pretty. He jumped on the ball that got away before crumbling to the ground in pain. Than after rolling on the ground for a couple minutes, he got up and stayed in the game. Molina deserves a Most Gangster Player award for his performance.

Respect Jeter's Gangster is for the Children

The "Respect Jeter's Gangster" blog joined Johnny Damon's home run club, which raises money for the Children's Health Fund. We are pledged to donate $1.00 for every homerun the Yankees hit this season. We will keep a running tally of the home runs hit and the money donated throughout the season. A-Rod hit homerun number 534 to tie Jimmie Foxx on the all-time list. Even more importantly, he raised a dollar for children's health.

Melky Cabrera 7hr = $7.00
Alex Rodriguez 16hr = $16.00
Hideki Matsui 7 hr = $7.00
Bobby Abreu 10hr = $10.00
Jorge Posada 3hr = $3.00
Jason Giambi 17hr = $17.00
Johnny Damon 6hr = $6.00
Morgan Ensberg 1hr = $1.00
Robinson Cano 6hr = $6.00
Chad Moeller 1hr = $1.00
Wilson Betemit 4hr = $4.00
Derek Jeter 4hr = $4.00
Shelley Duncan 1hr = $1.00
Total = $83.00

If you are interested in Johnny Damon's Homerun Club or the Children's Health Fund you can find links to both at the top right hand corner of our page.

Manny Ramirez Becomes Belligerent

If it comes as a surprise that Manny Ramirez would knock down a traveling secretary, than clearly you never read our Jeter Strikes Back story series that was critically acclaimed* and revered. Needless to say, we saw it coming. Ramirez has been far more aggressive this year, as just a few weeks ago he tried to attack Kevin Youkillis. Personally, I would really like to see the Kyle Farnsworth - Manny Ramirez brawl. Manny is more compact than Farnsworth, but Farnsworth just looks like he could knock someones head off with a single blow. Its pure speculation at this point, but maybe we're just one pitch behind Manny away from seeing it happen. Anyway, the point is, Manny can't just attack traveling secretaries. Its not gangster.

*No credible critics actually acclaimed the Jeter Strikes Back story series. However, our one anonymous poster seemed to like it.

Oliver Perez too Perfect for Yankees

The Good

Rasner had a decent 5 inning 2 run outing, and Derek Jeter had a pair of hits. Betemit hit a solo homerun to contribute all the offense the Yankees would have yesterday. Robertson's 2 inning 1 run debut was fine for a first time rookie pitcher. I hope to see more of him. Derek Jeter also broke up the perfect game by Oliver Perez.

The Bad

Oliver Perez carried a perfect game into the 4th inning, which may not seem like much, but is further than he should have against the Yankees. However, in the Yankees never ending quest to make mediocre pitchers look like Cy Young Candidates, they recorded 6 strikeouts and no hits before Jeter could put an end to the madness with a hit to break up the perfect game.

The Ugly

Offense, where did you go? 5 Yankees went hitless, not including the pitchers who also went hitless. The offense recorded 0 walks while whiffing 10 times. Ouch.

Respect Jeter's Gangster is for the Children

The "Respect Jeter's Gangster" blog joined Johnny Damon's home run club, which raises money for the Children's Health Fund. We are pledged to donate $1.00 for every homerun the Yankees hit this season. We will keep a running tally of the home runs hit and the money donated throughout the season. Wilson Betemit helped the children out with a solo shot yesterday.

Melky Cabrera 7hr = $7.00
Alex Rodriguez 15hr = $15.00
Hideki Matsui 7 hr = $7.00
Bobby Abreu 10hr = $10.00
Jorge Posada 3hr = $3.00
Jason Giambi 17hr = $17.00
Johnny Damon 6hr = $6.00
Morgan Ensberg 1hr = $1.00
Robinson Cano 6hr = $6.00
Chad Moeller 1hr = $1.00
Wilson Betemit 4hr = $4.00
Derek Jeter 4hr = $4.00
Shelley Duncan 1hr = $1.00
Total = $82.00

If you are interested in Johnny Damon's Homerun Club or the Children's Health Fund you can find links to both at the top right hand corner of our page.