Seeing as there has been a lot of discussion about the merits of the Swisher deal. I knew it was time for us to have another satellite video phone conversation with good friend of the blog, Brian Cashman. Here is the transcript:
RJG: Bronny Caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaash! How's it hanging brudda?
RJG: Mos def, mos def. So what's the deal with this Swisher trade? On the one hand Freddy Trig really likes it, but Robbie Fingers isn't so sure.
BC: Whose Robbie Fingers?
RJG: Oh Bronny. I've taken to referring to myself in the third person, I think it gives me that certain edge over other bloggers. And it makes the ladies go crazy.
BC: That actually helps you pick up chicks?
RJG: No, it just pisses them off. But let's get back to the real issues. It seems like you traded Dominican Swisher for White Betemit. Neither of them can really hit and presumably they're just there for defense. So clearly, you must still be thinking about signing Texeira to play first, right?
BC: All options are on the table but going forward Swisher will be our first baseman. We believe he is more than last year's stats, can get on base, and is a defensive upgrade over Betemit. Right now our focus is pitching, I'd prefer to fill position spots through trades.
RJG: Never mind. So Bronny, seeing as me and you are good friends, long time friends, even best friends, why don't you hook me up with a job in the Yanks' front office?
BC: What are you possibly qualified to do in the Yankees' front office?
RJG: It's not all about you Bronny.
[Eerie satellite video phone silence]
There you have it folks. It seems Fred was right in his analysis of the Swisher trade. Everyone who disagreed with him hates puppies. Simple as that.