Monday, February 2, 2009

Exclusive Preview of Torre Tell-All

It has been widely reported that Joe Torre has written a tell-all book with Sport's Illustrated's Tom Verducci. Less well known is the fact that Torre also collaborated on a tell-all with RJG. Now that the Verducci tome has been released, our book has quickly plummeted on the pre-order list. In order to prop up declining pre-orders we will be printing exclusive excerpts on RJG from time to time. Here's a taste (careful, it's delicious):

Hi, I'm Joe Torre, I used to be a catcher. One time in 2007 I got a call from George Steinbrenner. He was all like, "Hey Torre, we want you to win more ballgames, I'm going to go make a sandwich." I thought it was weird, because the Yankees had fired me a week earlier. That's when I knew the old Boss was gone for good.

Hi, I'm Joe Torre, my wife's name is Ally. One time I was sleeping in the dugout, when suddenly Don [Mattingly] nudged me awake. Cano was arguing with the ump about a bad call so I came out to cool the situation. Then Don [Knots] was like, "that's the worse call I ever did see jee golly." I was like, "chill out, Mr. Furley, I got this." I got between a teary eyed Cano and the ump and explained in a calm and classy manner that if he disrupted my nap again, an unfortunate accident would befall his cat. The ump was all like, "I don't have a cat!" So I looked him dead in the eye. "Are you sure?" I said sternly. The ump averted his gaze and I had established my dominance. I walked back to the dugout.


anonymous number two said...

I often asked about Joe T: is he dead or just asleep?

Roberto Alejandro said...

you're not the only one.

Quinn said...

you know what i have come to think of Mr. Torre. I am going to treat him like a player who left the team on bad terms, i.e. Raul Mondesi (who i disliked after he blasted Torre), Sheffeild, Loften, Womack, and honestly even Wells. I have lost all respect for this man. He broke his own rule of taking things that were in house matters and made them public. These players trusted this man not to take these things public. Jeter is and old dog Yankee so i wonder how Damon feels about his captain going to Torre and saying that about him, I love Jeter and that wont change, these are matters that are to stay in house, and to go public with them, makes me sick, i do not have any respect for him anymore. Therefore i do not respect Joe Torre's gangster and never again will I.

Raven King said...

Since when does Mr. T's managerness change into gangster?
Chill down, it's but a book.

Roberto Alejandro said...

that's a theme that's been brought up a lot lately, the fact that Joe T always preached keeping things in house and then wrote a book about everything that goes on in that house. While I think the Yankees $#!% on Torre long before he did on them, that is a more than fair point, since he was always about not airing things out in public.

Raven King said...

The beauty of this whole "Mr. Keep it in the House letting out all the darkest secrets" situation is that any player who has a different opinion can write a book of his own to rebut The Yankee Years.
Who can think of a better way to pump up the withering publishing industry?