Wednesday, February 4, 2009

In Honor of Our Interviewee, We Present: Bronny Cash

It's been a while since we called our good friend and mentor Brian Cashman, or maybe it hasn't, I haven't really been paying attention. Anyway, we decided that, in honor of our interviewee, we would give him a call regarding all things Yankees. Please find the transcript below. Seriously. Find it. It's literally the next line. Stop emailing and asking where the transcript starts, it's not that hard. Seriously.

[Dialing]

BC: Hello?

RJG: [singing in a low voice] I shot a man in Reno, just to watch him die...

BC: [sigh]

RJG: [still singing] and when I hear that whistle blowing, I hang my head and Broooooooooooooooooooonny Caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaash! What's up Bronny, why the long face?

BC: You got my satellite video phone number again.

RJG: Yeah, you suck at hiding things. Seriously. So we're just calling because Jane Heller, you know Jane, she wrote a tell all book about how much you guys suck, you sucked last year Cash!

BC: Jane didn't write a book about how we sucked last year. She wrote about 2007.

RJG: Well, anyway, she refers to you as A-Fraud throughout so...

BC: No, she doesn't.

RJG: That's not really the point Bronny, she likes it when we call you so we're calling you in honor of her.

BC: But, I don't like it when you call me.

RJG: It's not all about you Bronny.

[click]

[high pitched beeping, ringing on other line]

BC: Hello?

RJG: Brooooooooooooooooooooooonny Caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaash!

BC: How do you keep getting my number?

RJG: Let's just say you should spend less time at the office. But enough about me, when are you going trade one of our seven outfielders and sign Manny?

BC: We're not interested in Manny.

RJG: Look, if I wanted to hear that I would've called Omar so give me a real answer.

BC: Could you please call Omar?

RJG: No. I don't have his number.

BC: I'll give it you right now, it's...

RJG: LA LA LA LA LA LA LA I CAN'T HEAR YOU LA LA LA LA LA LA JUST ANSWER MY QUESTION ALREADY.

BC: Look, we're not interested. Two GMs can both not be interested in Manny.

RJG: Are you saying you're colluding with Omar Minaya? Is this what collusion looks like? I knew it!

[click]

There you have it folks. Brian Cashman refuses to trade one of our 7 outfielders because he is colluding with Omar Minaya to keep Manny Ramirez out of baseball. You heard it here first.

4 comments:

She-Fan said...

I'm glad Bronny set you straight about the season I wrote the book about! Good to know he's been reading it instead of looking at actual scouting reports.

Fernando Alejandro said...

I was thinking the same thing!

Roberto Alejandro said...

I think Bronny is a man of varied literary tastes. Some days he wants to read about the 2007 Yankees. Some days he prefers a scouting report or two. But never three, that's overkill.

Raven King said...

And some days he just curled up in a dark corner with a copy of Britney Spears' Heart to Heart and weeps into a handkerchief.