We reported a few weeks back that Selena Roberts had broken into our RJG headquarters and had taken a nap on our RJG couch. Well last night we had another incident with the famed reporter. While Roberto and I were going over Clemens' defense files, we noticed something in the window across the room. It wasn't moving, but we've had a history with people breaking in so we needed to go investigate. We walked over to the window to spook whatever was there, but when we got close up, it was just a cutout of Waldo from the "Where's Waldo?" book series. Figuring that someone was just playing a joke on us, we turned around to get back to work, and there was Selena Roberts asleep on our couch again. The Waldo cutout was just a diversion. I went over and shook her awake, and told her she needed to leave. She agreed, and got into a car whose driver looked a lot like the recently out-of-work Yuri Sucart. I didn't think much of it and went back up stairs. A couple hours later we heard a knocking in the basement, like someone was banging on pipes down there. We run down there and Selena Roberts is taking practice hacks against our water heater, and has a full load of laundry in the wash. I told her to leave and she said her clothes weren't finished. I told her to stop banging on our water heater and she said her clothes weren't finished. We called the cops who escorted her out, and we're now in the process of filing a restraining order against her.
So beware! Selena Roberts may be trying to break into your house next. Don't be surprised if she releases an investigative report on the RJG, but you heard it here first. Selena Roberts is a B & E master.