Wednesday, May 7, 2008

Yanks Offense Phones It In

The Good

Chien-Ming Wang goes seven innings and gives up three hits. He did exactly what we needed him to do, eat innings and give us a chance to win. There are a lot of guys who owe Wang a drink tonight. Cliff Lee also pitched a heluva game. I know TribeGirl will be pleased with that. Of course, as our own Fred Trigger has pointed out, the Indians cloned Gregg Maddux. Human cloning is illegal in America so the loss doesn't count against the Yanks tonight. Also, none of the Yankees were late for their dinner reservations since they were able to get out early.

The Bad

This game was broadcast so a large number of people had this beamed into their home! Into their bedrooms! Where their wives sleep! And their children come and play with their toys!.

The Ugly

[censored] [censored] the [censored] [censored] [censored] stupid [censored] [censored] Wang pitches [censored] [censored] and [censored] [censored] [censored] a [censored] [censored] [censored] Why don't the Yankees go [censored] [censored] [censored] [censored] [censored] [censored]

I think that more or less sums up my feelings about tonight's game.

Respect Jeter's Gangster is for the Children

(hence the self censorship)

The "Respect Jeter's Gangster" blog joined Johnny Damon's homerun club, which raises money for the Children's Health Fund. We are pledged to donate $1.00 for every homerun the Yankees hit this season. We will keep a running tally of the homeruns hit and the money donated throughout the season. As is evident from tonight's score there were no homeruns. Clearly, unlike this blog, the Yanks offense tonight was not for the children:

Melky Cabrera 6hr = $6.00
Alex Rodriguez 4hr = $4.00
Hideki Matsui 3 hr = $3.00
Bobby Abreu 4hr = $4.00
Jorge Posada 1hr = $1.00
Jason Giambi 5hr = $5.00
Johnny Damon 4hr = $4.00
Morgan Ensberg 1hr = $1.00
Robinson Cano 3hr = $3.00
Chad Moeller 1hr = $1.00
Total = $32.00

If you are interested in Johnny Damon's Homerun Club or the Children's Health Fund you can find links to both at the top right hand corner of our page.


Anonymous said...

I'm dying to know what A-Rod and Pettitte were chatting about about.
How to faint in the delivery room?
And it's nice to know that both Joba and Wang are human.

Anonymous said...

Cliff Lee has yet to pitch against the Red Sox this season. I'd love to see how he's gonna deal with Manny.

TribeGirl said...

To quote my very polite post before today's game "As much as I want Johnny Damon's charity to make alot of money, don't count on the homeruns today ~ you're facing Cliff Lee. He's our ACE!!!"

Hmmm, sucks to be right. I guess I'll go take my "unintelligent baseball talk" and "go fall down a flight of stairs" and hope for a sweep tomorrow! Although, we have Byrd pitching against the Moose, so it can go either way. They are both unpredictable and have had both good and bad outings this year. However, we've already taken the series for the whole season as we are up 4-2 with tonight's win and tomorrow is the last game of the regular season. So I can get back to blogging for my beloved Yankees!

Anonymous said...

If Cliff Lee keeps on being an ACE for 4 more months, C.C. will be in pinstripes next season.

Anonymous said...

Could somebody please decode "the Ugly"?

TribeGirl said...

Then take him....the Tribe won't tie up all their payroll with one guy - that's why they let Manny go. CC is in the same situation that Manny was in 2000 - grew up in the org, wanted to stay in Cleveland, but knows he can get bigger $$$ elsewhere. Happiness versus money. Manny was very unhappy in Boston at first. CC is very happy here. Now Manny is finally happy, so we'll see what CC does. Probably leave, but we're used to it.

On to fun things - YEAH - I want the UGLY decoded too, I bet it's a good one!!!

Good luck with today's game!!!

TribeGirl said...

BTW - how about Jeter dating six women on Maxim's list of hottest women. Pretty impressive, even from a woman's point of view, so I know you guys gotta think that's a true GANGSTER!

Roberto E. Alejandro said...

Jeter is very gangster. As for "The Ugly"... If you're a Yankees fan and were watching the game last night, it's pretty much every thing you were saying either in your head or out loud every time we got men in scoring position and then did nothing. If you're a tribe fan, think being up 3-1 over boston in last year's ALCS and then sitting through game seven and the things you said to yourself. It's hard to decode really, it's such a jumbled mess of profanity and vitriol that you just have to suggest the context so that blogger doesn't go after you with its robot army.

Roberto E. Alejandro said...

according to this headline in the times, Lee used magic. that's cheating.

michael kei said...

I liked the Godfather reference...

That's gangster.

Roberto E. Alejandro said...

Thanks for picking that up Michael Kei, I was hoping people would appreciate that.

TribeGirl said...

Nah...not magic - if you read on, he's merely toying with the Yankees. BTW ~ his main pitch is the fast ball - I know there are other factors, but this is PROOF Joba can get in the rotation NOW!!!

Hey, they mention Dave Stewart. I remember a game when I was a kid when he and Pat Corrales (mgr for the Indians) got in a fist fight ala Don Zimmer and Pedro Martinez. Good Stuff - for a kid of course!