Monday, March 16, 2009

Bronny Gets a Call

With the WBC and Spring Training in full swing, it was time to give our good friend, mentor, court appointed guardian, and all around great guy Brian Cashman a call via satellite video phone. The following is a transcript of our conversation.

BC: Hello?

RJG: Knock, knock.

BC: Who's there?

RJG: Yousir.

BC: Yousir? Yousir who? I demand you reveal yourself!

RJG: You sir, are a grade A douche! Zing! I totally got you Bronny!

BC: Why do I even answer this phone?

RJG: Because you have a strange need to know what's on the other end. You can't just be satisfied with being, with where you are, you have to always be looking to the next thing.

BC: That's kind of deep.

RJG: I'm kind of drunk, it happens. So what's up with the DR burning out two of your players. Two shoulder injuries? Really? Did Felipe Alou really have to do that? How does a second baseman even injure his shoulder? Was he throwing side sessions between games?

BC: We're all less than pleased about the injuries to Cano and Marte but hopefully they're not serious. The WBC has been an exciting tournament and is helping create excitement for the game internationally and that's important for baseball.

RJG: Do you even know when you're lying anymore?

BC: Not really.

RJG: So you're sticking with Ransom, huh? I guess if A-Rod's only going to be out for six to nine weeks you might as well not trade any prospects for a replacement. But if Ransom performs, is there a place on this team for him once he comes back or will you try to move him?

BC: Right now we're just focused on getting Alex healthy and making sure we are prepared for the season.

RJG: Bronny. Please. I don't take valuable time out of my day to call you just to hear rehearsed answers. Save that for the Associated Press. RJG's readers deserve and expect more than that.

BC: Valuable time? That's interesting, here I thought you just sat around all day with nothing to do except make me answer stupid questions via satellite video phone.

RJG: I'll have you know that we here at RJG lead very busy and interesting lives!

BC: Really?

RJG: Busy and Interesting!

BC: Describe your average day.

RJG: I wake up early, noonish I'd say. Then I spend a good two, maybe three hours sitting completely still.

BC: Meditating?

RJG: No, just trying to wait out the hangover. Then I read the Times, the Post, and the Daily News, write a post here and there, spend a few hours trying to get Selena Roberts out of RJG headquarters, then I call you to say good night. But I don't go to bed, I go out and have some fun so I can do it all over again the next day.

BC: Your life is neither busy nor interesting, sir!

RJG: Your mom is neither busy nor interesting, sir!

BC: That's uncalled for.

RJG: I apologize, just let me ask you one question.

BC: What's that?

RJG: Is that "Material Girl" I hear in the background?


There you have it folks, Bronny Cash is not sure what to do with Cody Ransom when A-Rod returns to action.


Quinn said...

haha yes!

She-Fan said...

Excellent work. You nailed him on his mom.

Ruthie said...

ZING!!! lmao
I loves it!. the ending killed me.."is that "materail girl" playing in the background?..(refering to the other comment i posted:: Yea, it was the clip of him jumping over the car. it twas sick, but i hated his attitude before and after.. like jeez gimme a break with the arrogance. i thought i was watching Ocho Cinco for a second.)

Quinn said...

do you think bronny cash will see these... would he laugh?

cheshirecat9 said...

You put him in his place!

Fernando Alejandro said...

My guess is that Brian Cashman looks to the RJG for work and life related guidance, and frequents the blog at least a couple dozen times a day.

Roberto Alejandro said...

I have to agree with my brother. There's no way that someone who listens to that much Madonna doesn't obsess over what we say about him on this blog.