Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Opening Day, How Far Thou Art

We're only a few days away from opening day. We all know what that means, I can resume my compulsive gambling activities. Now that the WBC is over, great final by the way, just spectacular, I have nothing to do for the next week. I tried kissing a mirror, but it was not nearly as satisfying as Details would have you believe. Swedish med school was another option, but I decided against it.

If opening day were today, life would be so different. I'd be writing stunning, insightful, pullitzer prize winning, baseball commentary like, "CC better win," and, "Boston blows!" I'd email Timmy Geithner and help him come up with a better plan to unfreeze the credit markets and then tell him that the Nationals suck, devastating him and probably causing a life-long struggle with drugs and alcohol.

I'd call up Melky, pretend to be Joe Girardi, and tell him that I planned to announce he was going to be the starting center fielder. Then I'd watch the game and laugh whenever the camera showed the dugout and Melky just looked miserable.

Then I'd call Bronny Cash and tell him I mailed him a new ninja costume that should arrive before first pitch. Then I'd watch the game and laugh whenever the camera showed Cash, tears forming in his eyes, as he realizes there is no ninja suit.

Man, I can't wait for opening day.

12 comments:

Sara said...

we could do without the 'boston blows!' part....

Fred Trigger said...

I second that, sara. You need to stop drinking that Haterade, Roberto.

She-Fan said...

I can't wait for Opening Day and I want to see Gardner out there in center.

Fernando Alejandro said...

Haha, Boston has a good team, but the rivalry is too much fun!

I want to see Cody Ransom hit a walk off homerun at the home opener.

Roberto Alejandro said...

I'm sorry, when I said Boston blows, what I meant to say was, Boston blows!

Roberto Alejandro said...

Official RJG Announcement: The previous comment has garnered us another Polk Award.

Fred Trigger said...

A Polk award? I scoff at the notion! Thats some Pulitzer Prize material right there. In fact, I'm going to use my connections I dont have to nominate this blog for the award.

Raven King said...

What do you think about the future of Wang?

Raven King said...

It took J.A. Happ 14 pitches to twice strike out a pitcher who didn't even swing his bat and some mad reporter claimed that Harp has impressive outing.
My word.

Fernando Alejandro said...

I can understand the argument of giving Wang a long term contract at the age of 33 for the years when his sinker could be slowing down, however, his secondary pitches have been improving, and he could develop into more than just a sinkerball pitcher. I think we wait to see how he does over the next few years. I would like to see him use more of that slider, and it could only help if he threw a changeup more often. Basically, we'll have to see how Wang is pitching in 2011 to see how wise a long term contract will be.

Raven King said...

Now Joel Sherman wants the Yankees to trade Wang and Cano for Halladay.
Is it just my illusion or does he really hate to see Wang in pinstripes?

Sara said...

fernando...so you're the diplomatic one, huh? haha...

the only thing boston will be blowing is the sweet sound of victory in the faces of yankee fans everywhere :)