Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Spring Preview: Bullpen

Boone Logan

2009 Stats: 1-1, 5.19

Boone Logan is the leading candidate for Player the Yankees Will Invent an Injury for in Order to Send Him to the Minors. At 6-5, 215 lbs, Logan automatically enters the conversation for Yankee you'd most like on your side in a bar fight. With a 5.19 ERA in the National League last year, however, he also automatically enters the conversation for Yankee you'd least like to see in a big spot, or a spot for that matter. Logan will probably be used in the Phil Coke role, a lefty specialist who from time to time is inexplicably left in the game to give up home runs to right handers.

2010 Prediction:

Boone Logan will have a three pitch strike out in his first relief appearance of the season. After the game he will walk two blocks east from the stadium and head over to the Bronx County Courthouse. There he will change his name to Logan Boone, tired of having a last name for a first name, and a first for a last. Less committed/informed Yankees fans will wonder aloud, as they read the latest box score, when we reacquired Aaroon Boone, and when he became a LHP. When they realize it is actually Logan, they weep.

Little Known Boone Logan Fact:

After seeing Wolverine, Boone started having everyone call him Logan. He grew a beard and cut his hair like Wolverine. He even went as far as gluing blades to his hands. After getting arrested at multiple airports and landing on the FBI No-Fly List, he went back to 'Boone.'


Rich Mahogany said...

He also defected to Canada.

Roberto E. Alejandro said...

That's true, I forgot about that.