An anonymous source has just tipped the RJG off to some shocking new revelations. The anonymous report indicates that Rays manager Joe Maddon may in fact be "douchey", and may have hitmen after Yankees first baseman, Mark Teixeira. Although our source is the first commenter in the previous post, this is the most exciting revelation of the day. In response to the news Maddon had this to say: "No comment." An immediate phone call to Mark Teixeira was not returned, but we suspect that is because he is in hiding from the hitmen pursuing him. We expect this may turn the attention of federal investigators towards Teixeira and Maddon and further delay the A-Rod investigation, which brings further shocking news: Investigators will not be investigating A-Rod any time soon. Further shocking news includes Javier Vazquez's need to improve.
These shocking revelations will need to be enough to get us to the 10pm start time of tonights west coast game.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
15 comments:
You forgot to mention that Hughes will probably be named fifth starter, with Joba going to the bullpen.
also, I dunno if you did this intentionally, but this is funny in the wake of the "There's gonna be a PED suspension. Semi-big but not huge name. OMG it's Reyes. OMG it's Teixeira! No it's not, it's not an NY player. It's a pitcher. National League pitcher. It's Edinson Volquez." stuff from today
Since Volquez was on the DL when he tested positive (and still is), you might say he took a page from the Pettitte playbook! Burn!
>:( >:( >:(
Seriously, though, people were like "Volquez is stupid for doing this while he was on the DL" and I was like "uh... Pettitte? Maybe he was trying to heal quicker?"
Also, at least Pettitte didn't claim it was boner medication like Volquez has.
And Ron Washington did cocaine
The Volquez thing is interesting. Are the Reds ever going to be relevant again? I wonder if Volquez was using the same infertility drug that Manny was.
I'm just glad the PED user isn't a Yankee.
On another note, something I'm curious about: is Fernando Alejandro the same person who used to post as falejandro on Mark Feinsand's old MLB.com blog, Mark It Down?
You mean Pettitte wasn't taking that kind of human growth hormone? /rimshot
These excuses that the players make are ridiculous. Volquez is out a third of his salary now and if he tests positive again I think the penalty involves forced exposure to Suzyn Waldman. If he really wasn't taking a PED, you'd think he'd use some of the rest of his salary to launch an all-out fight against the punishment.
Rich, the only thing Pettitte has a boner for is Jesus. And me, if he ever met me.
I agree that would be an excellent punishment.
Yes, I am one and the same as the falejandro from the Mark it Down blog!
How about that! Good times, those Mark It Down days; Kasey's pesimism, Russ/Sam the troll; Andrew's trunk.
Oh wow, I forgot about Kasey, but remembered as soon as I saw that name. He took doomsday fanhood to a whole new level. It would be like April 12th and the season would be over in his book. Did you post as Rob B back then?
Whoah, I don't think I ever posted at Mark It Down, but I definitely read it because I don't remember Kasey, but I remember Russ/Sam.
Russ/Sam also posted at The-Blog-Formerly-Known-As-Pete-Abe's, too, I believe. Is that where you perhaps knew him, lady?
I posted as rob.bush at Mark it Down.
fellow anonymous - yes, you're right. I lurked/rarely posted over at LoHud Yankees since it pretty much began.
Post a Comment