The Yankees Won!

The Good

Curtis Granderson avoided the DL and made it to New York. He had a diving catch. A running catch. And a home run. All in one day! Teixeira also crushed a ball which Nasa is probably still tracking just to make sure it doesn't interfere with their mission to take pictures of Mercury (FYI: turns out Mercury looks a lot like those artist renditions in textbooks that they paid far less to produce).

The Bad

Sabathia only lasted six innings. Not awful with our bullpen, but I'm sure Girardi was hoping to save some of those pitchers for AJ's start tomorrow.

The Ugly

The Yankees took a risk rushing Granderson back for opening day, but potential replacement Chris Dickerson was simply not an option.

"Chris Dickerson is crazy," explained Joe Girardi in a recent sit-down interview with RJG. "He was walking around the clubhouse with this purse around his shoulder. I'm all, 'What are you doing with a purse?' And he's like, 'It's not a purse, this is a man's bag.' I'm like, 'Ummm, no. That couldn't even be considered a murse. It's quite clearly a purse. In fact, I think my wife has that same purse. In burgundy.' And he's just, 'No, it's a man's bag.' 'What about this bag suggests anything man about it?' I says. He's all, 'There's a glock in it.' He pulls out this glock and then starts doing this crazy dance. He's all, 'This is my glock dance.' I'm all, 'He is not breaking camp with us. Hell no. He's #$%*&@! crazy!'"

RJG Is for the Children

Teixeira and Granderson both went deep. That's $2 for the children. I think. I'm actually not sure what my brother has pledged this year. Could be zero for all I know. That'll be embarrassing for him after this post!

Teixeira 1hr = $1
Granderson 1hr = $1
Total = $2