Thursday, July 3, 2008

A-Rod's Divorce Derails Offense

When the Yankees manage only 5 hits off of a rookie pitcher and no runs some might attribute it to the inconsistency they've shown all year. But it's clear to the observant sports fan that this is all A-Rod's fault. A-Rod knows how big a fan of Madonna Giambi is, why would he hang out with her right before this series, sparking Giambi's jealous rage and distracting him from the task at hand? Now the news has broken that A-Rod is getting divorced and everyone's too sad to hit. They were really looking forward to those free psychological exams, and now that's out the window. What's worse is A-Rod did this in a year when comfort food has been banned from the club house. Unable to curl up with a gallon of ice cream, many of these players may not be right for weeks. The All-Star break couldn't come sooner.


raven said...

And it's Starbucks's fault that Jeter can't hit Home Run No. 200.

Roberto Alejandro said...

I wonder if now that A-Rod's going to be single he and Jeter will start having sleepovers again.

raven said...

A-Rod might be single, but I doubt Jeter will sleep alone in the night. Who knows, maybe he's sharing his bed with his cat right now.