From time to time, we would like to inform our readers as to what is going on in the office. Well, as I mentioned two posts ago, yesterday was a busy day. Why, you ask? Well, our office was attacked by a bear. Not so much attacked, but there was definitely a bear in the office.
Me and my brother were sitting around, engaged in our usual witty banter, when suddenly Deron stopped spewing hate about his favorite shortstop. We both thought it was weird so we looked up, and there, in the middle of our office, was a majestic brown bear.
Now, most people, about 99%, when face to face with a majestic brown bear, immediately $#!% themselves. Not me, I'm too much of a man, I just pissed myself. I played it off though, like, "Dude, I spilt my lemonade." "Lemonade doesn't smell like that," replied my brother, the lemonade expert.
Then the bear let off a majestic growl and I thought to myself, "I'm too pretty to die, I hope he eats Deron first." Then, out of nowhere, Selena Roberts rushes into the office and cold cocks the bear right in the face. I'm all like, "Oh $#!%, she's definitely gonna get eaten." Then the bear started crying, and I'm like, "Seriously bear? WTF?" Then the bear threatened to call the police and report our assault, but we talked him down, agreeing to let him post occasionally and to work as our security guard. The RJG staff continues to grow. It now includes my brother and I, Deron, Selena, and Bucky the Bear, which is what I named him. He prefers Carl but I'm not calling him that for obvious reasons.