Thursday, July 9, 2009

Yankees Sweep Twins, Tie for First

The Good

At least the Yankees can dominate one rival. The Yankees completed a season sweep of the Minnesota Twins, and with Boston's loss to KC, the Yankees are once again in first place, tied with the Red Sox.

The Bad

The Twins are building a new open air grass stadium. I hope you like playing in the snow, you bastards.

The Ugly

After the Twins were swept, the Yankees sent them a gift basket and a note that read: Sorry for your loss, all seven of them. Your friends, The New York Yankees (aka Your Daddy). It was quite unnecessary.

The Inaccurate Home Run Count

Mark Teixeira knocked one out of the park in support of the Yanks' winning effort and Johnny Damon's vaunted charity. No one else chipped in, cheap bastards that they are.

Jorge Posada 11hr = $11.00
Hideki Matsui 13hr = $13.00
Derek Jeter 10hr = $10.00
Mark Teixeira 21hr = $21.00
Nick Swisher 14hr = $14.00
Robinson Cano 13hr = $13.00
Johnny Damon 16hr = $16.00
Melky Cabrera 8hr = $8.00
Jose Molina 1hr = $1.00
Alex Rodriguez 14hr = $14.00
Brett Gardner 3hr = $3.00
Francisco Cervelli 1hr = $1.00
Eric Hinske 1hr = $1.00
Total = $126.00

If you are interested in Johnny Damon's Homerun Club or the Children's Health Fund you can find links to both at the top right hand corner of our page.


Anonymous said...

Another classic from the award-winning writers of RJG.

Raven King said...

God bless Delcarmen & Masterson, the talented young Red Sox pitchers who gave up the game-tying & game-winning runs.

And I'm sure both players and fans will have a lot of fun making snowmen in the Target Field.

JeterIsGod said...

The lack of charity lately has been dispicable. We need to amp it up in Anaheim!

Fernando Alejandro said...

Soria is quite the impressive pitcher. He retired Drew, Pedroia, and Youkillis in order to close the game out.

We do need to step it up in Anaheim. The children need it!

She-Fan said...

Forget Halladay. How can we get Soria!

Fernando Alejandro said...

Haha, Soria is really sharp. I wonder in a couple years when Mariano retires, if Soria would be a good fit to take his spot. Of course this is assuming Mariano retires and Soria stays healthy.

cheshirecat9 said...

I don't want to imagine a life without Mo.

TribeGirl said...

You are NOT kidding about the Twins playing in the snow....WTF are they thinking?????

And Mo will live forever and play forever. Stop talking about life without him. Just stop it now!!!

Roberto E. Alejandro said...

The Twins may never have a home game again. It's going to be like PNC park, only with snow.