There has been some discussion on the blog recently about Joe Morgan's suggestion that the Yankees are more susceptible to the bunt because they are an AL team, and AL teams don't bunt. We thought we should investigate this claim. We sent out our team of intrepid under cover reporters, but it turns out eleven of them were Russian spies. Who knew? We still got plenty of great material for our report though. We asked Andy Pettitte, the player most victimized by the Dodger's bunting, whether he thought AL teams are more susceptible to the bunt.
"Look, it's like this. I go through my pitching motion, and all of a sudden the batter takes his top hand off the handle and places it on the barrel. I'm looking in at the ump like, 'What the #%*& is that?' I thought he was stepping out or something. Then the ball makes contact and rolls down the line. I go over to pick it up all casual, you know, Hanley Ramirez-like. Next thing I know Girardi is all, 'Throw to first! Throw to first!' I didn't know what was going on. I totally panicked. Turns out, it was a bunt. I'd heard of it, but I'd never seen one before. I thought it was one of those old-timey things that aren't allowed in the game anymore, like spitters and screw balls. But I guess not."
"It really caught all of us off-guard," explained Alex Rodriguez, who witnessed the bunts from third base. "It's like when you're thinking fastball, and they throw the hook. You just freeze. Nothing you can do. This guy hit the ball so gently, like a baby would. I wanted to laugh, but now I know that bunts are no laughing matter."
We were shocked that two of the Yankees' biggest stars were completely unfamiliar with what a bunt was. We talked to Joe Torre to find out whether he was aware of this profound ignorance.
"Oh yeah, definitely," explained Torre. "I was there for twelve years and I never bunted. I knew the Steinbrenner brothers would try to screw me over with an incentive laden contract one day, so I just kept the whole team in the dark about bunts. The whole organization even. Cashman didn't even know what they were. One time he came into my office all, 'Torre, what's this I hear about bunts. What is that?' I just played dumb. Then, when they came to LA, I pulled it out of my back pocket at the perfect time. They were totally confused. They're all, 'What is this strange new hitting motion? Why have we never seen this?' I'm why you've never seen this! Suck it Hal! Bwahahaha."
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Cliff Lee Passes His Tryout
The Good
Cliff Lee pitched a complete game, allowing four runs; two of them in the ninth. When we trade for him/sign him in the off-season, we'll be getting one hell of a pitcher.
The Bad
Phil Hughes's attempt to spark the offense by giving up at least one run an inning after the second horribly backfired. Hughes took his second loss of the season, obliterating any chance he had of becoming an all-star. He is now a pedestrian 10-2.
The Ugly
Swisher had two home runs off of Lee today. If he'd had four home runs we might have won the game. Thanks for trying, loser.
The Nick Swisher Show
Swisher leads the Yankees in home runs hit on June 29th, 2010. Those two bombs were completely pointless. You know what isn't pointless? Our raffle. Click here to find out more and to donate to the Children's Health Fund.
Posada 9hr = $18
Granderson 7hr = $14
Cano 15hr = $30
Swisher 13hr = $26
Jeter 8hr = $16
Johnson 2hr = $4
Rodriguez 11hr = $22
Teixeira 13hr = $26
Thames 2hr = $4
Gardner 3hr = $6
Winn 1hr = $2
Miranda 2hr = $4
Total = $172
Cliff Lee pitched a complete game, allowing four runs; two of them in the ninth. When we trade for him/sign him in the off-season, we'll be getting one hell of a pitcher.
The Bad
Phil Hughes's attempt to spark the offense by giving up at least one run an inning after the second horribly backfired. Hughes took his second loss of the season, obliterating any chance he had of becoming an all-star. He is now a pedestrian 10-2.
The Ugly
Swisher had two home runs off of Lee today. If he'd had four home runs we might have won the game. Thanks for trying, loser.
The Nick Swisher Show
Swisher leads the Yankees in home runs hit on June 29th, 2010. Those two bombs were completely pointless. You know what isn't pointless? Our raffle. Click here to find out more and to donate to the Children's Health Fund.
Posada 9hr = $18
Granderson 7hr = $14
Cano 15hr = $30
Swisher 13hr = $26
Jeter 8hr = $16
Johnson 2hr = $4
Rodriguez 11hr = $22
Teixeira 13hr = $26
Thames 2hr = $4
Gardner 3hr = $6
Winn 1hr = $2
Miranda 2hr = $4
Total = $172
Monday, June 28, 2010
The Yanks-Dodgers Series Explained by Way of 'Return of the Jedi' Analogy
The Good
Luke Skywalker (the Yankees) had to defeat his estranged father (Joe Torre) while the evil Emperor Palpatine (the Dodgers) stood by trying to turn Luke to the dark side (being worse than the Dodgers). Luke defeated his father (game 1) but couldn't destroy him, because there was still 'The Good' in him.
The Bad
Then the Emperor is like, "If you will not turn to the dark side, then you will die." He starts kicking Luke's @$$ all over the place with lasers, which in case you didn't know, hurts like a mother#@&%*!. Our estranged/deadbeat dad just stands idly by. (That's game 2).
The Ugly
The Emperor continues to beat us like a rented mule (first 8 innings of game 3). But not a regular rented mule, where he would have had to put down a credit card to cover damages and he refused to take out the extra insurance that only puts him on the hook for a reasonable deductible. He beats us like a rented mule that was on somebody else's credit card. At this point (top of the ninth), our estranged dad can't take seeing his son like this anymore. He comes to our rescue, picking up the emperor and throwing him off a precipice (horribly mismanaging the bullpen and thus obliterating the Dodger's chance of defeating us). It wasn't so much ugly for us, but it was for the Emperor.
Ewoks Throw A Mean Party
A-Rod and Cano both hit home runs yesterday to help Luke defeat the Emperor. Cano's won the game, which meant the increasingly mad with power Cano didn't have to discipline A-Rod for trying to show him up. Don't forget to check out our raffle for a chance to win tickets to watch the Yanks-BoSox on August 7th.
Posada 9hr = $18
Granderson 7hr = $14
Cano 15hr = $30
Swisher 11hr = $22
Jeter 8hr = $16
Johnson 2hr = $4
Rodriguez 11hr = $22
Teixeira 13hr = $26
Thames 2hr = $4
Gardner 3hr = $6
Winn 1hr = $2
Miranda 2hr = $4
Total = $168
Luke Skywalker (the Yankees) had to defeat his estranged father (Joe Torre) while the evil Emperor Palpatine (the Dodgers) stood by trying to turn Luke to the dark side (being worse than the Dodgers). Luke defeated his father (game 1) but couldn't destroy him, because there was still 'The Good' in him.
The Bad
Then the Emperor is like, "If you will not turn to the dark side, then you will die." He starts kicking Luke's @$$ all over the place with lasers, which in case you didn't know, hurts like a mother#@&%*!. Our estranged/deadbeat dad just stands idly by. (That's game 2).
The Ugly
The Emperor continues to beat us like a rented mule (first 8 innings of game 3). But not a regular rented mule, where he would have had to put down a credit card to cover damages and he refused to take out the extra insurance that only puts him on the hook for a reasonable deductible. He beats us like a rented mule that was on somebody else's credit card. At this point (top of the ninth), our estranged dad can't take seeing his son like this anymore. He comes to our rescue, picking up the emperor and throwing him off a precipice (horribly mismanaging the bullpen and thus obliterating the Dodger's chance of defeating us). It wasn't so much ugly for us, but it was for the Emperor.
Ewoks Throw A Mean Party
A-Rod and Cano both hit home runs yesterday to help Luke defeat the Emperor. Cano's won the game, which meant the increasingly mad with power Cano didn't have to discipline A-Rod for trying to show him up. Don't forget to check out our raffle for a chance to win tickets to watch the Yanks-BoSox on August 7th.
Posada 9hr = $18
Granderson 7hr = $14
Cano 15hr = $30
Swisher 11hr = $22
Jeter 8hr = $16
Johnson 2hr = $4
Rodriguez 11hr = $22
Teixeira 13hr = $26
Thames 2hr = $4
Gardner 3hr = $6
Winn 1hr = $2
Miranda 2hr = $4
Total = $168
Sunday, June 27, 2010
Yanks Split First Two Games With Dodgers
The Good
Sabathia and A-Rod have justified their giant contracts, replete with ponies, private jets, fast cars, and unnecessary bonuses. Cano still leads the majors in batting average, and Jeter is still the captain.
The Bad
Remember when AJ could pitch? April seems like such a long time ago.
The Ugly
After A-Rod hit his home run in the first game of the series, he went and sat down in the Dodger's dugout, right next to Joe Torre. He then turned to Torre and said, "Oh wait, I'm sorry. I play for a winner now." He then put his thumb and index finger in the shape of an 'L' squarely on his forehead. Torre calmly responded, "Whatever A-Fraud. Why don't you go walk on Dallas Braden's mound the way Jeter would never do. Oh. And that haircut doesn't make you look like Jeter." A-Rod bit hard, trying to hold it back, but the tears flowed anyways.
The Raffle
A-Rod hit one in the first game, Teix in the second. It seems that our three and four hitters may finally be coming to life. Figuratively that is. They've been literally alive all season. Do you also want to have the sort of incredible run that makes people think you're figuratively coming to life? Then sign up for our raffle. Click here for details.
Posada 9hr = $18
Granderson 7hr = $14
Cano 14hr = $28
Swisher 11hr = $22
Jeter 8hr = $16
Johnson 2hr = $4
Rodriguez 9hr = $18
Teixeira 13hr = $26
Thames 2hr = $4
Gardner 3hr = $6
Winn 1hr = $2
Miranda 2hr = $4
Total = $160
Sabathia and A-Rod have justified their giant contracts, replete with ponies, private jets, fast cars, and unnecessary bonuses. Cano still leads the majors in batting average, and Jeter is still the captain.
The Bad
Remember when AJ could pitch? April seems like such a long time ago.
The Ugly
After A-Rod hit his home run in the first game of the series, he went and sat down in the Dodger's dugout, right next to Joe Torre. He then turned to Torre and said, "Oh wait, I'm sorry. I play for a winner now." He then put his thumb and index finger in the shape of an 'L' squarely on his forehead. Torre calmly responded, "Whatever A-Fraud. Why don't you go walk on Dallas Braden's mound the way Jeter would never do. Oh. And that haircut doesn't make you look like Jeter." A-Rod bit hard, trying to hold it back, but the tears flowed anyways.
The Raffle
A-Rod hit one in the first game, Teix in the second. It seems that our three and four hitters may finally be coming to life. Figuratively that is. They've been literally alive all season. Do you also want to have the sort of incredible run that makes people think you're figuratively coming to life? Then sign up for our raffle. Click here for details.
Posada 9hr = $18
Granderson 7hr = $14
Cano 14hr = $28
Swisher 11hr = $22
Jeter 8hr = $16
Johnson 2hr = $4
Rodriguez 9hr = $18
Teixeira 13hr = $26
Thames 2hr = $4
Gardner 3hr = $6
Winn 1hr = $2
Miranda 2hr = $4
Total = $160
Friday, June 25, 2010
LA Dodgers Here We Come
Now that some time has gone by and a championship has been won, I'm wondering how people feel about our former manager Joe Torre. The way he left was not clean and people were angry at the Yankees organization, but then he released a book about his Yankee days, and people were angry at him for his not so shocking revelations. So now, a couple years later, how do people feel about Torre?
Personally, I love the man. He made the Yankees into annual contenders, and though I didn't love all his managing decisions, he was always classy, and made me proud to be a Yankee fan. He seemed critical of A-Rod in his book, but I think we as fans may have read into that more than was necessary. He said A-Rod had a single-white girl obsession with Derek Jeter, but I think everyone already knew that.
So what about you? Do you love our former manager? Hate him? Somewhere in between?
Personally, I love the man. He made the Yankees into annual contenders, and though I didn't love all his managing decisions, he was always classy, and made me proud to be a Yankee fan. He seemed critical of A-Rod in his book, but I think we as fans may have read into that more than was necessary. He said A-Rod had a single-white girl obsession with Derek Jeter, but I think everyone already knew that.
So what about you? Do you love our former manager? Hate him? Somewhere in between?
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Vasquez Revert, but Yankees Persevere
The Good
A lot can be said of Vasquez's rough start, but the releivers really kept the Yankees in the game last night. Robertson-Chamberlain-Rivera pitched a combined 4 innings with Rivera getting the two inning save.
The offense came alive scoring 6 runs to edge out the D-Backs, most prominent of which was Granderson, who went 3-5 with a homerun last night.
Also good, we're finally done with this Arizona series. Onward to LA!
The Bad
Vasquez seemed to be trending upwards, but this last start was quite the step back. Among some of the theories I propose for his bad start are that he's either afraid of snakes, and was thus pitching in fear all night long, or he still thinks he's in spring training.
The Ugly
Why were Swisher and Teixeira trying to steal bases!? We had the perfect opportunity to score early and get a decent lead, but no, these guys decide that they're modern day Rickey Henderson's and get thrown out trying to steal.
Give to Kids, Win Tickets
Donate now to the Children's Health Fund, and tell them that you were referred by the RJG blog. You'll be automatically entered into a raffle for tickets to the Yankees vs. Red Sox game on August 7 in section 223! That is in fact where the cool kids sit.
The RJG is donating $2 for every homerun hit this season to the Children's Health Fund. Last night, Sir Granderson hit a homerun to help sick children everywhere. "I wasn't really interested in hitting a homerun." Explained Granderson. "But then I thought of the children."
Posada 9hr = $18
Granderson 7hr = $14
Cano 14hr = $28
Swisher 11hr = $22
Jeter 8hr = $16
Johnson 2hr = $4
Rodriguez 8hr = $16
Teixeira 12hr = $24
Thames 2hr = $4
Gardner 3hr = $6
Winn 1hr = $2
Miranda 2hr = $4
Total = $156
A lot can be said of Vasquez's rough start, but the releivers really kept the Yankees in the game last night. Robertson-Chamberlain-Rivera pitched a combined 4 innings with Rivera getting the two inning save.
The offense came alive scoring 6 runs to edge out the D-Backs, most prominent of which was Granderson, who went 3-5 with a homerun last night.
Also good, we're finally done with this Arizona series. Onward to LA!
The Bad
Vasquez seemed to be trending upwards, but this last start was quite the step back. Among some of the theories I propose for his bad start are that he's either afraid of snakes, and was thus pitching in fear all night long, or he still thinks he's in spring training.
The Ugly
Why were Swisher and Teixeira trying to steal bases!? We had the perfect opportunity to score early and get a decent lead, but no, these guys decide that they're modern day Rickey Henderson's and get thrown out trying to steal.
Give to Kids, Win Tickets
Donate now to the Children's Health Fund, and tell them that you were referred by the RJG blog. You'll be automatically entered into a raffle for tickets to the Yankees vs. Red Sox game on August 7 in section 223! That is in fact where the cool kids sit.
The RJG is donating $2 for every homerun hit this season to the Children's Health Fund. Last night, Sir Granderson hit a homerun to help sick children everywhere. "I wasn't really interested in hitting a homerun." Explained Granderson. "But then I thought of the children."
Posada 9hr = $18
Granderson 7hr = $14
Cano 14hr = $28
Swisher 11hr = $22
Jeter 8hr = $16
Johnson 2hr = $4
Rodriguez 8hr = $16
Teixeira 12hr = $24
Thames 2hr = $4
Gardner 3hr = $6
Winn 1hr = $2
Miranda 2hr = $4
Total = $156
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Pettitte Sharp, Stomps Diamondbacks
The Good
A strong start from Pettitte who went 7 innings allowing 2 runs and striking out 7. A-Rod had a great game hitting a homerun and driving in 3 runs. Jeter had a 2 hit game.
The Bad
Dan Haren owned Pettitte....offensively. He had two hits and drove in 2 runs, bringing his batting average up to .452 on the season. Pettitte responded with a single of his own building enmity between the two.
The Ugly
(Insert Ugly Section Here)
Respect Jeter's Gangster is for the Children
Respect Jeter's Gangster is donating $2 for every homerun the Yankees hit to the Children's Health Fund this season. If you make a donation to the Children's Health Fund AND tell them you were referred by the RJG blog, you will automatically be entered into a raffle for tickets to the Yankees vs. Red Sox game on August 7. The seats are in section 223! Go get your benevolent on.
Posada 9hr = $18
Granderson 6hr = $12
Cano 14hr = $28
Swisher 11hr = $22
Jeter 8hr = $16
Johnson 2hr = $4
Rodriguez 9hr = $18
Teixeira 12hr = $24
Thames 2hr = $4
Gardner 3hr = $6
Winn 1hr = $2
Miranda 2hr = $4
Total = $158
Granderson 6hr = $12
Cano 14hr = $28
Swisher 11hr = $22
Jeter 8hr = $16
Johnson 2hr = $4
Rodriguez 9hr = $18
Teixeira 12hr = $24
Thames 2hr = $4
Gardner 3hr = $6
Winn 1hr = $2
Miranda 2hr = $4
Total = $158
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Gardners Amazing Game Cannot Save Burnett's Horrendous Start
The Good
Gardner went 4-4, scoring 2 runs and stealing a base in the process. It was the greatest game of his career!
The Bad
Though it was Gardner's best game, it amounted to a loss. If we could have moved the lineup around, and batted Gardner in front of himself, we may have been able to score more runs.
The Ugly
So AJ Burnett has been really awful of late. 4 innings and 7 runs just doesn't meet the standards of a quality start, and the only thing I can think is that we knew what we were getting when we signed him. The man can be lights out, and he can get lit up. Right now, its more of the latter.
Respect Jeter's Gangster is for the Children
The RJG is donating $2 for every homerun hit this season to the Children's Health Fund. Last night, the Yankees did not give us an opportunity to give.
But if you're feeling more benevolent than the Yankees, make a donation to the Children's Health Fund, AND tell them that you were referred by the RJG blog, and you will automatically be entered into a raffle for tickets to the Red Sox vs. Yankees game on August 7.
Posada 9hr = $18
Granderson 6hr = $12
Cano 14hr = $28
Swisher 11hr = $22
Jeter 8hr = $16
Johnson 2hr = $4
Rodriguez 8hr = $16
Teixeira 12hr = $24
Thames 2hr = $4
Gardner 3hr = $6
Winn 1hr = $2
Miranda 2hr = $4
Total = $156
Gardner went 4-4, scoring 2 runs and stealing a base in the process. It was the greatest game of his career!
The Bad
Though it was Gardner's best game, it amounted to a loss. If we could have moved the lineup around, and batted Gardner in front of himself, we may have been able to score more runs.
The Ugly
So AJ Burnett has been really awful of late. 4 innings and 7 runs just doesn't meet the standards of a quality start, and the only thing I can think is that we knew what we were getting when we signed him. The man can be lights out, and he can get lit up. Right now, its more of the latter.
Respect Jeter's Gangster is for the Children
The RJG is donating $2 for every homerun hit this season to the Children's Health Fund. Last night, the Yankees did not give us an opportunity to give.
But if you're feeling more benevolent than the Yankees, make a donation to the Children's Health Fund, AND tell them that you were referred by the RJG blog, and you will automatically be entered into a raffle for tickets to the Red Sox vs. Yankees game on August 7.
Posada 9hr = $18
Granderson 6hr = $12
Cano 14hr = $28
Swisher 11hr = $22
Jeter 8hr = $16
Johnson 2hr = $4
Rodriguez 8hr = $16
Teixeira 12hr = $24
Thames 2hr = $4
Gardner 3hr = $6
Winn 1hr = $2
Miranda 2hr = $4
Total = $156
Monday, June 21, 2010
Marky T in the Place to Be
The Good
In what was billed as the greatest left handed matchup in baseball history since Auto Von Lefty took on Fighting Joe Southpaw in World War I's Germany vs. America baseball classic, CC Sabathia pitched 8 shutout innings. Mariano closed it with a scoreless inning of his own.
Santana generally pitched okay, with the exception of an unfortunate inning where Gardner hit a single, Jeter followed up with an infield single, and Swisher on the first pitch laid out a drag bunt, confusing every infielder on the Mets, and forcing them to botch the out at first. With Swisher safe, and the bases loaded, Marky T remembered how much he truly loved the children, and hit a homerun just for them.
Also, Cervelli hit a triple which was pretty cool.
The Bad
Lady Gaga is now barred from the Yankees clubhouse after losses. After wins she can still have her whiskey there.
The Ugly
Posada was DHing yesterday, and he decided that that was the perfect opportunity for him to argue with the umps like never before. Getting in the umpires face after a strikeout call, Posada told him that he saw him blasting Lady Gaga's Alejandro before the game to get pumped up. The umpire wept.
Respect Jeter's Gangster is for the Children
For a second consecutive day, Mark Teixeira has shown his love for the children by hitting another homerun. Have you hit a homerun today? No? Well donate to the children, AND tell them that you were referred by the RJG blog, and you will automatically be entered into a raffle for tickets to the Red Sox vs. Yankees game on August 7. You still won't have hit any homeruns, but at least then you'll feel better about yourself.
Posada 9hr = $18
Granderson 6hr = $12
Cano 14hr = $28
Swisher 11hr = $22
Jeter 8hr = $16
Johnson 2hr = $4
Rodriguez 8hr = $16
Teixeira 12hr = $24
Thames 2hr = $4
Gardner 3hr = $6
Winn 1hr = $2
Miranda 2hr = $4
Total = $156
In what was billed as the greatest left handed matchup in baseball history since Auto Von Lefty took on Fighting Joe Southpaw in World War I's Germany vs. America baseball classic, CC Sabathia pitched 8 shutout innings. Mariano closed it with a scoreless inning of his own.
Santana generally pitched okay, with the exception of an unfortunate inning where Gardner hit a single, Jeter followed up with an infield single, and Swisher on the first pitch laid out a drag bunt, confusing every infielder on the Mets, and forcing them to botch the out at first. With Swisher safe, and the bases loaded, Marky T remembered how much he truly loved the children, and hit a homerun just for them.
Also, Cervelli hit a triple which was pretty cool.
The Bad
Lady Gaga is now barred from the Yankees clubhouse after losses. After wins she can still have her whiskey there.
The Ugly
Posada was DHing yesterday, and he decided that that was the perfect opportunity for him to argue with the umps like never before. Getting in the umpires face after a strikeout call, Posada told him that he saw him blasting Lady Gaga's Alejandro before the game to get pumped up. The umpire wept.
Respect Jeter's Gangster is for the Children
For a second consecutive day, Mark Teixeira has shown his love for the children by hitting another homerun. Have you hit a homerun today? No? Well donate to the children, AND tell them that you were referred by the RJG blog, and you will automatically be entered into a raffle for tickets to the Red Sox vs. Yankees game on August 7. You still won't have hit any homeruns, but at least then you'll feel better about yourself.
Posada 9hr = $18
Granderson 6hr = $12
Cano 14hr = $28
Swisher 11hr = $22
Jeter 8hr = $16
Johnson 2hr = $4
Rodriguez 8hr = $16
Teixeira 12hr = $24
Thames 2hr = $4
Gardner 3hr = $6
Winn 1hr = $2
Miranda 2hr = $4
Total = $156
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Saturday, June 19, 2010
Yanks Win
The Good
A win is always good. Hughes giving us seven is also a plus. It's amazing that we have five starters who can routinely give us seven innings. There's very little burning of the bullpen, save when AJ implodes every few starts. That's a plus with the current state of our relievers not named Mo.
The Bad
Did you know that Mo is not actually named Mo? His real name is Mariano. What the hell is that all about?
The Ugly
The Yanks actually hit ten home runs today, but eight of them were disallowed by Koman Coulibaly on phantom foul calls. While the Yankees would like to know how one commits a foul while up at bat, and since when there are foul violations in baseball not related to balls hit outside of the lines, they are unlikely to get an answer from either Coulibaly or FIFA, the world governing body of bull$#!% calls.
Back to Giving
Teixeira and Granderson each had home runs in today's winning effort. That means $4 more for the CHF. Please consider donating to the CHF. If you mentioned that you were referred by RJG, you will be entered into a raffle for Yanks-BoSox tickets on Aug. 7th in New York. It's that simple.
Posada 9hr = $18
Granderson 6hr = $12
Cano 14hr = $28
Swisher 11hr = $22
Jeter 8hr = $16
Johnson 2hr = $4
Rodriguez 8hr = $16
Teixeira 11hr = $22
Thames 2hr = $4
Gardner 3hr = $6
Winn 1hr = $2
Miranda 2hr = $4
Total = $154
A win is always good. Hughes giving us seven is also a plus. It's amazing that we have five starters who can routinely give us seven innings. There's very little burning of the bullpen, save when AJ implodes every few starts. That's a plus with the current state of our relievers not named Mo.
The Bad
Did you know that Mo is not actually named Mo? His real name is Mariano. What the hell is that all about?
The Ugly
The Yanks actually hit ten home runs today, but eight of them were disallowed by Koman Coulibaly on phantom foul calls. While the Yankees would like to know how one commits a foul while up at bat, and since when there are foul violations in baseball not related to balls hit outside of the lines, they are unlikely to get an answer from either Coulibaly or FIFA, the world governing body of bull$#!% calls.
Back to Giving
Teixeira and Granderson each had home runs in today's winning effort. That means $4 more for the CHF. Please consider donating to the CHF. If you mentioned that you were referred by RJG, you will be entered into a raffle for Yanks-BoSox tickets on Aug. 7th in New York. It's that simple.
Posada 9hr = $18
Granderson 6hr = $12
Cano 14hr = $28
Swisher 11hr = $22
Jeter 8hr = $16
Johnson 2hr = $4
Rodriguez 8hr = $16
Teixeira 11hr = $22
Thames 2hr = $4
Gardner 3hr = $6
Winn 1hr = $2
Miranda 2hr = $4
Total = $154
Yankees Stop Trying, Lose to Mets
The Good
Javy went seven, allowing only one run. The game was played at Yankee Stadium which is way better than Citi Field. Also, We're not owned by the Wilpons.
The Bad
Our bullpen was not good. Allowing 3 runs over two innings. Granted, since our offense is apparently on strike, it doesn't really matter what they do.
The Ugly
Zero. We scored Zero runs. Clearly we erred in signing Mark Teixeira just one year before his age related decline would set in. A-Rod is so old he has hip problems. Either that or he's a German Shepherd. Hard to say. Additionally, we lost to the Mets.
Let's Not Talk About It
No home runs. While the Yankees were stingy last night, you don't have to be. Sign up for our raffle (Make sure to mention you were referred by RJG) and you'll have a chance to win tickets to a Yanks-BoSox game in August, at a time when our team should be in the midst of its usual post-All Star Game tear.
Posada 9hr = $18
Granderson 5hr = $10
Cano 14hr = $28
Swisher 11hr = $22
Jeter 8hr = $16
Johnson 2hr = $4
Rodriguez 8hr = $16
Teixeira 10hr = $20
Thames 2hr = $4
Gardner 3hr = $6
Winn 1hr = $2
Miranda 2hr = $4
Total = $150
Javy went seven, allowing only one run. The game was played at Yankee Stadium which is way better than Citi Field. Also, We're not owned by the Wilpons.
The Bad
Our bullpen was not good. Allowing 3 runs over two innings. Granted, since our offense is apparently on strike, it doesn't really matter what they do.
The Ugly
Zero. We scored Zero runs. Clearly we erred in signing Mark Teixeira just one year before his age related decline would set in. A-Rod is so old he has hip problems. Either that or he's a German Shepherd. Hard to say. Additionally, we lost to the Mets.
Let's Not Talk About It
No home runs. While the Yankees were stingy last night, you don't have to be. Sign up for our raffle (Make sure to mention you were referred by RJG) and you'll have a chance to win tickets to a Yanks-BoSox game in August, at a time when our team should be in the midst of its usual post-All Star Game tear.
Posada 9hr = $18
Granderson 5hr = $10
Cano 14hr = $28
Swisher 11hr = $22
Jeter 8hr = $16
Johnson 2hr = $4
Rodriguez 8hr = $16
Teixeira 10hr = $20
Thames 2hr = $4
Gardner 3hr = $6
Winn 1hr = $2
Miranda 2hr = $4
Total = $150
Friday, June 18, 2010
Yankees Use Lead Bats, Don't Win
The Good
Pettitte put up a strong pitching effort last night, though it wasn't enough to overcome the weak offense. He went 7 innings, allowing 3 runs (2 earned) and struck out 7. Cano had another two hit game!
The Bad
The Yankees combined for 4 hits last night, and drove in a lone run. It was a depressing game that wasn't worth missing game 7 of the NBA finals for. I, on the other hand, missed both to watch The One with Jet Li. Its a movie where Jet Li's character Jude Law or something like that travels between multi-verses killing clones, or something, and then he has to fight himself in an epic battle that ends with Jason Statham falling in love with him. Or maybe not. I wasn't really paying attention to the story, but the fights were cool.
The Ugly
As a practical joke, the Philadelphia Phillies had snuck into the Yankees clubhouse and replaced all their wooden bats with lead ones. The result was yesterdays awful offensive performance. "My bat was so heavy." Lamented Mark Teixeira. "And now I'm hallucinating. I really wish I didn't use my bat to stir my drinks."
But did the Phillies forget to replace Cano's bat?
"I've always used lead bats." Explained Cano.
Figures.
Respect Jeters Gangster is for the Children
The Yankees did not hit any homeruns last night, because they hate children. You on the other hand don't need to follow their lead. Donate to the Children's Health Fund AND tell them that you were referred by the RJG blog, and get yourself automatically entered into a raffle for tickets to the August 7th game between the Red Sox and Yankees.
The RJG blog will be donating $2 to the Children's Health Fund for every homerun hit by the Yankees this season. Here is what they've done so far:
Posada 9hr = $18
Granderson 5hr = $10
Cano 14hr = $28
Swisher 11hr = $22
Jeter 8hr = $16
Johnson 2hr = $4
Rodriguez 8hr = $16
Teixeira 10hr = $20
Thames 2hr = $4
Gardner 3hr = $6
Winn 1hr = $2
Miranda 2hr = $4
Total = $150
Pettitte put up a strong pitching effort last night, though it wasn't enough to overcome the weak offense. He went 7 innings, allowing 3 runs (2 earned) and struck out 7. Cano had another two hit game!
The Bad
The Yankees combined for 4 hits last night, and drove in a lone run. It was a depressing game that wasn't worth missing game 7 of the NBA finals for. I, on the other hand, missed both to watch The One with Jet Li. Its a movie where Jet Li's character Jude Law or something like that travels between multi-verses killing clones, or something, and then he has to fight himself in an epic battle that ends with Jason Statham falling in love with him. Or maybe not. I wasn't really paying attention to the story, but the fights were cool.
The Ugly
As a practical joke, the Philadelphia Phillies had snuck into the Yankees clubhouse and replaced all their wooden bats with lead ones. The result was yesterdays awful offensive performance. "My bat was so heavy." Lamented Mark Teixeira. "And now I'm hallucinating. I really wish I didn't use my bat to stir my drinks."
But did the Phillies forget to replace Cano's bat?
"I've always used lead bats." Explained Cano.
Figures.
Respect Jeters Gangster is for the Children
The Yankees did not hit any homeruns last night, because they hate children. You on the other hand don't need to follow their lead. Donate to the Children's Health Fund AND tell them that you were referred by the RJG blog, and get yourself automatically entered into a raffle for tickets to the August 7th game between the Red Sox and Yankees.
The RJG blog will be donating $2 to the Children's Health Fund for every homerun hit by the Yankees this season. Here is what they've done so far:
Posada 9hr = $18
Granderson 5hr = $10
Cano 14hr = $28
Swisher 11hr = $22
Jeter 8hr = $16
Johnson 2hr = $4
Rodriguez 8hr = $16
Teixeira 10hr = $20
Thames 2hr = $4
Gardner 3hr = $6
Winn 1hr = $2
Miranda 2hr = $4
Total = $150
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Burnett Wishes Upon a Fallen Star, but It Was Really A UFO
The Good
Though Cano and Posada knew that the game was likely lost, they made sure to give to the children by hitting homeruns. True givers never stop giving.
Perhaps more impressive was the work of our bullpen. After Burnett left the game in the 4th inning, Boone Logan stepped in and shut down the Phillies for 2 plus innings. Then Chad Gaudin came in and shut them down for the remaining three innings. Good performances from non-prime releivers.
The Bad
Jamie Moyer shut down the Yankees last night in a way that was both embarrasing, and insulting. Moyer, who turns 84 this year had this to say: "It kind of gave me flash backs to my rookie season. I struck out Babe Ruth and Lou Gehrig for the last outs in the first inning. That was when I got the call from Woodrow Wilson, he says to me he says 'Jamie, your country needs you overseas, fighting the axis of evil.', and I said 'Mr. President, I can foresee the future, and the stock market is going to crash in 10 years or so. So invest in Lucky Brand cigarettes, they'll be flying like trolley carts!'. And that was when I invented the slider. Struck out, Ty Cobb with it. Boy was he a bigot. But back then we all were."
The Ugly
AJ Burnett had another rough start last night lasting 3.1 innings and giving up 6 runs. After giving up his first run, he asked the umpire for a redo, but the umpire didn't budge. Burnett stared him down, but to no avail. He then called commissoner Selig to try and reverse the call. Here is the transcript:
AB - Evening....commissioner.
BS (unfortunate initials) - Is this Galarraga!? You can't have your perfect game! I'm Bud Selig!
AB - Its AJ.
BS - Oh, AJ, how goes it?
AB - Reverse the umpires call, I just gave up a run.
BS - Galarraga is that you!?
AB - No its AJ!
BS - From the Yankees?
AB - Yes.
BS - I still remember my first Yankees game as commissioner. Jamie Moyer struck out Babe Ruth and Lou Gehrig to end the first inning. Then President Wilson called him, and he says to him he says...
(Click)
-End Transcript-
Respect Jeter's Gangster is for the Children
Cano and Posada hit homeruns last night to give hope to the children. Do YOU want to give hope to the children? Well, good news! Donate now to the Children's Health Fund AND tell them that you were referred by the RJG Blog, and you will automatically be entered into a raffle for tickets to the August 7 game between the Red Sox and Yankees at Yankee Stadium. You give hope to children, and then you can hope you win those tickets. Its a win-win for all involved.
Posada 9hr = $18
Granderson 5hr = $10
Cano 14hr = $28
Swisher 11hr = $22
Jeter 8hr = $16
Johnson 2hr = $4
Rodriguez 8hr = $16
Teixeira 10hr = $20
Thames 2hr = $4
Gardner 3hr = $6
Winn 1hr = $2
Miranda 2hr = $4
Total = $150
Though Cano and Posada knew that the game was likely lost, they made sure to give to the children by hitting homeruns. True givers never stop giving.
Perhaps more impressive was the work of our bullpen. After Burnett left the game in the 4th inning, Boone Logan stepped in and shut down the Phillies for 2 plus innings. Then Chad Gaudin came in and shut them down for the remaining three innings. Good performances from non-prime releivers.
The Bad
Jamie Moyer shut down the Yankees last night in a way that was both embarrasing, and insulting. Moyer, who turns 84 this year had this to say: "It kind of gave me flash backs to my rookie season. I struck out Babe Ruth and Lou Gehrig for the last outs in the first inning. That was when I got the call from Woodrow Wilson, he says to me he says 'Jamie, your country needs you overseas, fighting the axis of evil.', and I said 'Mr. President, I can foresee the future, and the stock market is going to crash in 10 years or so. So invest in Lucky Brand cigarettes, they'll be flying like trolley carts!'. And that was when I invented the slider. Struck out, Ty Cobb with it. Boy was he a bigot. But back then we all were."
The Ugly
AJ Burnett had another rough start last night lasting 3.1 innings and giving up 6 runs. After giving up his first run, he asked the umpire for a redo, but the umpire didn't budge. Burnett stared him down, but to no avail. He then called commissoner Selig to try and reverse the call. Here is the transcript:
AB - Evening....commissioner.
BS (unfortunate initials) - Is this Galarraga!? You can't have your perfect game! I'm Bud Selig!
AB - Its AJ.
BS - Oh, AJ, how goes it?
AB - Reverse the umpires call, I just gave up a run.
BS - Galarraga is that you!?
AB - No its AJ!
BS - From the Yankees?
AB - Yes.
BS - I still remember my first Yankees game as commissioner. Jamie Moyer struck out Babe Ruth and Lou Gehrig to end the first inning. Then President Wilson called him, and he says to him he says...
(Click)
-End Transcript-
Respect Jeter's Gangster is for the Children
Cano and Posada hit homeruns last night to give hope to the children. Do YOU want to give hope to the children? Well, good news! Donate now to the Children's Health Fund AND tell them that you were referred by the RJG Blog, and you will automatically be entered into a raffle for tickets to the August 7 game between the Red Sox and Yankees at Yankee Stadium. You give hope to children, and then you can hope you win those tickets. Its a win-win for all involved.
Posada 9hr = $18
Granderson 5hr = $10
Cano 14hr = $28
Swisher 11hr = $22
Jeter 8hr = $16
Johnson 2hr = $4
Rodriguez 8hr = $16
Teixeira 10hr = $20
Thames 2hr = $4
Gardner 3hr = $6
Winn 1hr = $2
Miranda 2hr = $4
Total = $150
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Halladay Got Rocked!
The Good
The Yankees took it to Roy Halladay scoring 6 runs in 6 innings off of him, including 3 homeruns. Sabathia went 7 strong inning allowing just 3 runs, but much needs to be said of our bullpen which managed to pitch 2 scoreless innings.
The Bad
Silly Jeter went 0-3. The only other Yankee who had an 0-3 night was Ramiro Pena. The two of them brought shame to the shortstop position.
The Ugly
Scorpions can poison themselves with their own stings. Who knew?
Respect Jeter's Gangster is for the Children
The RJG is committed to donating $2 for every homerun hit this season to the Children's Health Fund, and yesterday, the Yankees helped the cause with three homeruns. Many thanks to Nick Swisher, Mark Teixeira, and Curtis Granderson.
But don't let us have all the joy and fulfillment that comes from giving. If you donate to the Children's Health Fund and tell them that you were referred to them by the RJG blog, you will be entered into a raffle for tickets to the August 7 game between the Red Sox and Yankees.
Posada 8hr = $16
Granderson 5hr = $10
Cano 13hr = $26
Swisher 11hr = $22
Jeter 8hr = $16
Johnson 2hr = $4
Rodriguez 8hr = $16
Teixeira 10hr = $20
Thames 2hr = $4
Gardner 3hr = $6
Winn 1hr = $2
Miranda 2hr = $4
Total = $146
The Yankees took it to Roy Halladay scoring 6 runs in 6 innings off of him, including 3 homeruns. Sabathia went 7 strong inning allowing just 3 runs, but much needs to be said of our bullpen which managed to pitch 2 scoreless innings.
The Bad
Silly Jeter went 0-3. The only other Yankee who had an 0-3 night was Ramiro Pena. The two of them brought shame to the shortstop position.
The Ugly
Scorpions can poison themselves with their own stings. Who knew?
Respect Jeter's Gangster is for the Children
The RJG is committed to donating $2 for every homerun hit this season to the Children's Health Fund, and yesterday, the Yankees helped the cause with three homeruns. Many thanks to Nick Swisher, Mark Teixeira, and Curtis Granderson.
But don't let us have all the joy and fulfillment that comes from giving. If you donate to the Children's Health Fund and tell them that you were referred to them by the RJG blog, you will be entered into a raffle for tickets to the August 7 game between the Red Sox and Yankees.
Posada 8hr = $16
Granderson 5hr = $10
Cano 13hr = $26
Swisher 11hr = $22
Jeter 8hr = $16
Johnson 2hr = $4
Rodriguez 8hr = $16
Teixeira 10hr = $20
Thames 2hr = $4
Gardner 3hr = $6
Winn 1hr = $2
Miranda 2hr = $4
Total = $146
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Off Days are Funny Things
A lot of rumors have been flying around, and a lot of questions have remained unanswered, but if our RJG email box is any indication, the entire world is wondering about the truth. Of course, I am referring to Lady Gaga's hit new single and disturbing new video, Alejandro. In this song, Lady Gaga mentions the two main authors of the RJG blog (take that Deron, you're a jerk!) by name: Fernando and Roberto Alejandro. Yes, she seems a little upset with us in the song, and most people are wondering what really happened between us and Lady Gaga.
The story begins a couple years back, as my brother, Deron and I were hanging out on the beach in Cancun, enjoying a nice day, drinking a Corona, when this lady walks up to us, and without saying a word decks me in the face. I was more surprised than anything else, but I still laughed when out of sheer reaction, Roberto smashed his Corona over her head. But it wasn't over. This woman took a fistful of sand and threw it in our eyes, and then rushed swinging both hands and feet furiously. I managed to snatch her in a side headlock and punched her in the head a few times before she picked me up and body slammed me on the beach. I jumped back up and decked her in the face, but as soon as she hit the ground she bounced up and round housed Roberto in the side of the head. The fist fight continued for about 10 minutes before authorities arrived on the scene and arrested Deron after the locals pointed him out as being a jerk. Haven't seen him since. Either way, I figured it was all over. Wrong. I went to sleep in my hotel room that night, and at about 2 in the morning I get decked in the face! I wake up thinking my brother just thought it'd be a good practical joke, which it would have been, but instead I see this woman again! She follows up with a left hand, which I deflected into my pillow. Roberto wakes up when he hears the commotion, and I yell for him to call the cops. He grabs the phone, but instead of calling he decks her over the head with it! The fight continued unchecked for about half an hour when we were exhausted. The worst parts of it was one, we were evenly matched with this 100 pound woman, and two, as the fight ensued the beat to what is now "Alejandro" was blaring from a boom box she had set up in the corner of the room. We were pretty much at a stalemate. All three of us had cuts and bruises all over, and we were just trying to catch our breath. I stood clutching a tequila bottle that I really hoped I wouldn't have to use since it came from the minibar, and would cost me $60. Roberto stood holding what was left of the room phone. The woman stood holding a partially broken lamp. As we were catching our breath, she looks up at us and says "I know that we are young and I know you may love me but I just can't be with you like this anymore." That's when I saw her for what she was: a woman scorned. Not by us mind you, but by somebody somewhere. I realized what needed to happen. As I cleared my throat and spit out the blood that had collected in my mouth, I began speaking "Look, lady, we all go through some tough times, but instead of getting violent, why don't we just make some rootbeer floats and talk it through." The woman's face brightened, "Lady Gaga's my name." she said as she extended her hand. I reached over to shake her hand, but before I could, Roberto smashed the phone over her head again leaving her unconscious! "Good! You got my cue!" I said to him, as I quickly started gathering my belongings. "Yeah, I'm not paying for this mess." Roberto responded. So we raced out of the hotel and hoped to never see her again. The hotel was on Deron's card so it all worked out. Or so we thought. A couple years later, Lady Gaga's "Alejandro" comes out. Every now and again, she'll show up at the RJG head quarters and we'll have sandwiches and talk about the recent Deadliest Warrior episodes. She's pretty cool once you get to know her, but before you get to know her, she's pretty violent.
So there it is. That is what happened between Lady Gaga and us, and now we are forever immortalized in that song. CC Sabathia and Roy Halladay up tonight. Off days are funny things.
The story begins a couple years back, as my brother, Deron and I were hanging out on the beach in Cancun, enjoying a nice day, drinking a Corona, when this lady walks up to us, and without saying a word decks me in the face. I was more surprised than anything else, but I still laughed when out of sheer reaction, Roberto smashed his Corona over her head. But it wasn't over. This woman took a fistful of sand and threw it in our eyes, and then rushed swinging both hands and feet furiously. I managed to snatch her in a side headlock and punched her in the head a few times before she picked me up and body slammed me on the beach. I jumped back up and decked her in the face, but as soon as she hit the ground she bounced up and round housed Roberto in the side of the head. The fist fight continued for about 10 minutes before authorities arrived on the scene and arrested Deron after the locals pointed him out as being a jerk. Haven't seen him since. Either way, I figured it was all over. Wrong. I went to sleep in my hotel room that night, and at about 2 in the morning I get decked in the face! I wake up thinking my brother just thought it'd be a good practical joke, which it would have been, but instead I see this woman again! She follows up with a left hand, which I deflected into my pillow. Roberto wakes up when he hears the commotion, and I yell for him to call the cops. He grabs the phone, but instead of calling he decks her over the head with it! The fight continued unchecked for about half an hour when we were exhausted. The worst parts of it was one, we were evenly matched with this 100 pound woman, and two, as the fight ensued the beat to what is now "Alejandro" was blaring from a boom box she had set up in the corner of the room. We were pretty much at a stalemate. All three of us had cuts and bruises all over, and we were just trying to catch our breath. I stood clutching a tequila bottle that I really hoped I wouldn't have to use since it came from the minibar, and would cost me $60. Roberto stood holding what was left of the room phone. The woman stood holding a partially broken lamp. As we were catching our breath, she looks up at us and says "I know that we are young and I know you may love me but I just can't be with you like this anymore." That's when I saw her for what she was: a woman scorned. Not by us mind you, but by somebody somewhere. I realized what needed to happen. As I cleared my throat and spit out the blood that had collected in my mouth, I began speaking "Look, lady, we all go through some tough times, but instead of getting violent, why don't we just make some rootbeer floats and talk it through." The woman's face brightened, "Lady Gaga's my name." she said as she extended her hand. I reached over to shake her hand, but before I could, Roberto smashed the phone over her head again leaving her unconscious! "Good! You got my cue!" I said to him, as I quickly started gathering my belongings. "Yeah, I'm not paying for this mess." Roberto responded. So we raced out of the hotel and hoped to never see her again. The hotel was on Deron's card so it all worked out. Or so we thought. A couple years later, Lady Gaga's "Alejandro" comes out. Every now and again, she'll show up at the RJG head quarters and we'll have sandwiches and talk about the recent Deadliest Warrior episodes. She's pretty cool once you get to know her, but before you get to know her, she's pretty violent.
So there it is. That is what happened between Lady Gaga and us, and now we are forever immortalized in that song. CC Sabathia and Roy Halladay up tonight. Off days are funny things.
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Sweep
The Good
Another grand slam from Posada ensured that the Houston Astronomers left New York winless. Good work from the 'pen, who gave us 3.1 innings of no run ball. The Yanks are now tied for first place in the division.
The Bad
Were it not for a Teixeira error that lead to two extra at-bats in the fifth, and his inability to get that last out in the sixth, this would've been another quality start for Hughes. Perhaps the last hurdle in Hughes's development is getting over this tendency to not put hitters away after getting two-strike counts on them. Not that he never gets hitters out in that situation, it just seems like at some point (usually the end of one of his later innings) he goes through 2-4 guys who reach base after he's had them in two-strike counts.
The Ugly
After the sweep of the lowly Astros, Joe Girardi got on the dugout phone and made a long distance call to the mayor of Houston. "Yeah, from now on it's pronounced 'House-ton', because that's how we say it in New York and we own you!" Girardi could be overheard saying.
Homercadabra
Both Cano and Posada hit home runs today, but Posada's overshadowed Cano's. Cano reminded Posada that catching every day is so much more fun than being the DH. Posada made sure to record an out in his next at-bat. Are you also scared of the power mad Cano? Then you better enter our raffle for Yanks-BoSox tickets on August 7th. No point in upsetting him. Click here for details.
Posada 8hr = $16
Granderson 3hr = $6
Cano 12hr = $24
Swisher 9hr = $18
Jeter 8hr = $16
Johnson 2hr = $4
Rodriguez 8hr = $16
Teixeira 8hr = $16
Thames 2hr = $4
Gardner 3hr = $6
Winn 1hr = $2
Miranda 2hr = $4
Total = $132
Another grand slam from Posada ensured that the Houston Astronomers left New York winless. Good work from the 'pen, who gave us 3.1 innings of no run ball. The Yanks are now tied for first place in the division.
The Bad
Were it not for a Teixeira error that lead to two extra at-bats in the fifth, and his inability to get that last out in the sixth, this would've been another quality start for Hughes. Perhaps the last hurdle in Hughes's development is getting over this tendency to not put hitters away after getting two-strike counts on them. Not that he never gets hitters out in that situation, it just seems like at some point (usually the end of one of his later innings) he goes through 2-4 guys who reach base after he's had them in two-strike counts.
The Ugly
After the sweep of the lowly Astros, Joe Girardi got on the dugout phone and made a long distance call to the mayor of Houston. "Yeah, from now on it's pronounced 'House-ton', because that's how we say it in New York and we own you!" Girardi could be overheard saying.
Homercadabra
Both Cano and Posada hit home runs today, but Posada's overshadowed Cano's. Cano reminded Posada that catching every day is so much more fun than being the DH. Posada made sure to record an out in his next at-bat. Are you also scared of the power mad Cano? Then you better enter our raffle for Yanks-BoSox tickets on August 7th. No point in upsetting him. Click here for details.
Posada 8hr = $16
Granderson 3hr = $6
Cano 12hr = $24
Swisher 9hr = $18
Jeter 8hr = $16
Johnson 2hr = $4
Rodriguez 8hr = $16
Teixeira 8hr = $16
Thames 2hr = $4
Gardner 3hr = $6
Winn 1hr = $2
Miranda 2hr = $4
Total = $132
Saturday, June 12, 2010
Yanks Take Series
The Good
Jorge Posada was told he could catch again and responded by hitting a grand slam. Jeter also flexed the guns by hitting two home runs of his own. Javy threw another seven innings, allowing only three runs.
The Bad
Cano had one hit in today's game. Only one. Dropping his average a whole two points. #%&@ him!
The Ugly
Every time a Houston player puts on his uniform, he looks down at that proud logo and thinks, "#%&@! I play for Houston?! We're gonna #%&@ing lose today! We're gonna #%&@ing lose!"
Back to Basics
The Bombers have always had a simple philosophy when it comes to baseball: hit more home runs than the other guys. That's what they did today and that's why we won. Three home runs for the bombers, two for the captain and one for his first mate. Granted, the one home run was a grand slam. Would you like to hit a grand slam? Then click here to find out the details of our raffle and how you can hit a grand slam for charity, and win tickets to a game against the BoSox on August 7th.
Posada 7hr = $14
Granderson 3hr = $6
Cano 11hr = $22
Swisher 9hr = $18
Jeter 8hr = $16
Johnson 2hr = $4
Rodriguez 8hr = $16
Teixeira 8hr = $16
Thames 2hr = $4
Gardner 3hr = $6
Winn 1hr = $2
Miranda 2hr = $4
Total = $128
Jorge Posada was told he could catch again and responded by hitting a grand slam. Jeter also flexed the guns by hitting two home runs of his own. Javy threw another seven innings, allowing only three runs.
The Bad
Cano had one hit in today's game. Only one. Dropping his average a whole two points. #%&@ him!
The Ugly
Every time a Houston player puts on his uniform, he looks down at that proud logo and thinks, "#%&@! I play for Houston?! We're gonna #%&@ing lose today! We're gonna #%&@ing lose!"
Back to Basics
The Bombers have always had a simple philosophy when it comes to baseball: hit more home runs than the other guys. That's what they did today and that's why we won. Three home runs for the bombers, two for the captain and one for his first mate. Granted, the one home run was a grand slam. Would you like to hit a grand slam? Then click here to find out the details of our raffle and how you can hit a grand slam for charity, and win tickets to a game against the BoSox on August 7th.
Posada 7hr = $14
Granderson 3hr = $6
Cano 11hr = $22
Swisher 9hr = $18
Jeter 8hr = $16
Johnson 2hr = $4
Rodriguez 8hr = $16
Teixeira 8hr = $16
Thames 2hr = $4
Gardner 3hr = $6
Winn 1hr = $2
Miranda 2hr = $4
Total = $128
Yanks Win Against Houston's Best Baseball Team
The Good
Pettitte earned win number 200 (as a Yankee) with 7.1 innings of 3 run ball. We scored 4 runs, which was more than the 3 runs Houston scored.
The Bad
A-Rod has a strained hip flexor, which as best I can tell means his career is probably over. Also bad, Cano went 1-4 while batting clean up. Granted, he only left 1 man on base, as the 1-3 hitters combined for a 2-11 performance with one walk. Good work boys.
The Ugly
Houston has been atrocious this season. Nonetheless, they continue to be the best baseball team in Houston, leaving Houston residents no choice but to watch the Astros. Clearly it is time for the league to take a more serious look at expansion.
The Children
RJG is all about the children. The Yanks, yesterday, were not. No home runs were hit in the game by the Yankees. That doesn't mean you can't hit a home run of a charitable nature, however, by entering the RJG raffle for Yanks-BoSox tickets on August 7th. Click here for details.
Posada 6hr = $12
Granderson 3hr = $6
Cano 11hr = $22
Swisher 9hr = $18
Jeter 6hr = $12
Johnson 2hr = $4
Rodriguez 8hr = $16
Teixeira 8hr = $16
Thames 2hr = $4
Gardner 3hr = $6
Winn 1hr = $2
Miranda 2hr = $4
Total = $122
Pettitte earned win number 200 (as a Yankee) with 7.1 innings of 3 run ball. We scored 4 runs, which was more than the 3 runs Houston scored.
The Bad
A-Rod has a strained hip flexor, which as best I can tell means his career is probably over. Also bad, Cano went 1-4 while batting clean up. Granted, he only left 1 man on base, as the 1-3 hitters combined for a 2-11 performance with one walk. Good work boys.
The Ugly
Houston has been atrocious this season. Nonetheless, they continue to be the best baseball team in Houston, leaving Houston residents no choice but to watch the Astros. Clearly it is time for the league to take a more serious look at expansion.
The Children
RJG is all about the children. The Yanks, yesterday, were not. No home runs were hit in the game by the Yankees. That doesn't mean you can't hit a home run of a charitable nature, however, by entering the RJG raffle for Yanks-BoSox tickets on August 7th. Click here for details.
Posada 6hr = $12
Granderson 3hr = $6
Cano 11hr = $22
Swisher 9hr = $18
Jeter 6hr = $12
Johnson 2hr = $4
Rodriguez 8hr = $16
Teixeira 8hr = $16
Thames 2hr = $4
Gardner 3hr = $6
Winn 1hr = $2
Miranda 2hr = $4
Total = $122
Friday, June 11, 2010
Yankees Lose, but the Real Losers were the Viewers
The Good
We still have constitutionally protected rights as Americans.
The Bad
The powerful Yankee offense mustered 4 hits against the Orioles. I'm not saying we have to sweep them every time we play them, but, actually yes, I am saying that we need to sweep them every time we play them. 4 hits. Like cowards.
The Ugly
AJ Burnett has battled consistancy issues throughout his entire career. Its no surprise when he can't locate his fastball, or his curveball isn't curving, or his slider never existed. 4 runs over 6.2 innings isn't a horrible line, but its just that you'd like him to break out of the inconsistancy at some point in his career.
Respect Jeter's Gangster is for the Children
The RJG is pledged to donate $2 for every homerun hit by the Yankees this season to the Children's Health Fund. What's that? You'd like to donate, but wish there was some sort of raffle involved? Well, you're in luck! If you donate money to the CHF AND tell them that you were referred to them by the RJG blog, you will automatically be entered into a raffle for tickets to the August 7 Red Sox vs. Yankees game at Yankee stadium.
Posada 6hr = $12
Granderson 3hr = $6
Cano 11hr = $22
Swisher 9hr = $18
Jeter 6hr = $12
Johnson 2hr = $4
Rodriguez 8hr = $16
Teixeira 8hr = $16
Thames 2hr = $4
Gardner 3hr = $6
Winn 1hr = $2
Miranda 2hr = $4
Total = $122
We still have constitutionally protected rights as Americans.
The Bad
The powerful Yankee offense mustered 4 hits against the Orioles. I'm not saying we have to sweep them every time we play them, but, actually yes, I am saying that we need to sweep them every time we play them. 4 hits. Like cowards.
The Ugly
AJ Burnett has battled consistancy issues throughout his entire career. Its no surprise when he can't locate his fastball, or his curveball isn't curving, or his slider never existed. 4 runs over 6.2 innings isn't a horrible line, but its just that you'd like him to break out of the inconsistancy at some point in his career.
Respect Jeter's Gangster is for the Children
The RJG is pledged to donate $2 for every homerun hit by the Yankees this season to the Children's Health Fund. What's that? You'd like to donate, but wish there was some sort of raffle involved? Well, you're in luck! If you donate money to the CHF AND tell them that you were referred to them by the RJG blog, you will automatically be entered into a raffle for tickets to the August 7 Red Sox vs. Yankees game at Yankee stadium.
Posada 6hr = $12
Granderson 3hr = $6
Cano 11hr = $22
Swisher 9hr = $18
Jeter 6hr = $12
Johnson 2hr = $4
Rodriguez 8hr = $16
Teixeira 8hr = $16
Thames 2hr = $4
Gardner 3hr = $6
Winn 1hr = $2
Miranda 2hr = $4
Total = $122
Thursday, June 10, 2010
X-Rays on Gardner's Thumb Negative
It is being reported that x-rays, taken last night, on Gardner's left thumb were negative. If you ask Gardner, however, they were extremely negative.
"I was pretty down, to be honest," explained a visibly hurt Brett Gardner. "I mean these X-Rays. They were so negative! They're all, 'Hey Gardy, you're not going to wear that, are you?' And, 'Hey Brett, can you please use your inside voice? You're yelling in my ear. Nobody else wants to hear our conversation, ok?!' Or, 'Hey, you know who really knows how to take an x-ray? Posada. He was so much better than you when he had his foot x-ray taken. Oh well, I guess it's unfair to expect you to be that good.' It was pretty hurtful."
"I was pretty down, to be honest," explained a visibly hurt Brett Gardner. "I mean these X-Rays. They were so negative! They're all, 'Hey Gardy, you're not going to wear that, are you?' And, 'Hey Brett, can you please use your inside voice? You're yelling in my ear. Nobody else wants to hear our conversation, ok?!' Or, 'Hey, you know who really knows how to take an x-ray? Posada. He was so much better than you when he had his foot x-ray taken. Oh well, I guess it's unfair to expect you to be that good.' It was pretty hurtful."
Not a Person, a Pitching Monster
The Good
Sabathia pitched 7 strong innings striking out 8 and only allowing 2 runs, but it should be noted that both runs were scored by the Baltimore Orioles, which really cheapens things. Cano had another multi-hit game, which at this point is pretty much the norm for him.
The Bad
Jeter was caught stealing in his only appearance on the base paths. Despite this set back, the general consensus is that the captain will be okay.
The Ugly
The Baltimore Orioles committed 3 errors yesterday which helped lead the Yankees to victory. Their new manager, who's name I don't know so will call Ripken Tejada Junior, described the mistakes. "We typically lose when we play hard, so we decided to use a new tactic: not playing hard. I figured if we play hard and lose, what's the worse that can happen if we play sloppy? We lose? Oh no!" Explained Tejada Jr. "Trembley tried to get them to play hard and look what that got him."
Indeed.
Respect Jeter's Gangster is for the Children
Not a person, a pitching monster! That's what Orioles pitcher Tillman was to the Yankees as they hit no homeruns, and therefore donated nothing to children everywhere. Weak.
But you don't have to be weak like them. Donate some money to the Children's Health Fund. If you tell them you were referred by the RJG blog, they will automatically enter you to be in a raffle for tickets to the August 7 game between the Yankees and Red Sox at Yankee stadium.
Posada 6hr = $12
Granderson 3hr = $6
Cano 11hr = $22
Swisher 9hr = $18
Jeter 6hr = $12
Johnson 2hr = $4
Rodriguez 8hr = $16
Teixeira 8hr = $16
Thames 2hr = $4
Gardner 3hr = $6
Winn 1hr = $2
Miranda 2hr = $4
Total = $122
Sabathia pitched 7 strong innings striking out 8 and only allowing 2 runs, but it should be noted that both runs were scored by the Baltimore Orioles, which really cheapens things. Cano had another multi-hit game, which at this point is pretty much the norm for him.
The Bad
Jeter was caught stealing in his only appearance on the base paths. Despite this set back, the general consensus is that the captain will be okay.
The Ugly
The Baltimore Orioles committed 3 errors yesterday which helped lead the Yankees to victory. Their new manager, who's name I don't know so will call Ripken Tejada Junior, described the mistakes. "We typically lose when we play hard, so we decided to use a new tactic: not playing hard. I figured if we play hard and lose, what's the worse that can happen if we play sloppy? We lose? Oh no!" Explained Tejada Jr. "Trembley tried to get them to play hard and look what that got him."
Indeed.
Respect Jeter's Gangster is for the Children
Not a person, a pitching monster! That's what Orioles pitcher Tillman was to the Yankees as they hit no homeruns, and therefore donated nothing to children everywhere. Weak.
But you don't have to be weak like them. Donate some money to the Children's Health Fund. If you tell them you were referred by the RJG blog, they will automatically enter you to be in a raffle for tickets to the August 7 game between the Yankees and Red Sox at Yankee stadium.
Posada 6hr = $12
Granderson 3hr = $6
Cano 11hr = $22
Swisher 9hr = $18
Jeter 6hr = $12
Johnson 2hr = $4
Rodriguez 8hr = $16
Teixeira 8hr = $16
Thames 2hr = $4
Gardner 3hr = $6
Winn 1hr = $2
Miranda 2hr = $4
Total = $122
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Will the Yanks Be in the Hunt for Another Big Arm?
So I came across this story in the Post today about how the Ms are currently scouring the Yankees minor leagues in order to be prepared for when the Yankees inquire as to Cliff Lee's availability. A couple weeks ago there was a piece over at SI.com (I think) saying that Roy Oswalt would only approve a trade to the Cards, Yanks, and some other team I can't remember.
Since then I've been thinking a lot about whether it makes sense for the Yankees to go after one of these guys. You can never have too much pitching, but right now we have five starters who are all throwing well. In fact, if Javy continues to give us seven innings on a regular basis, we don't even really have someone you can unqualifiedly call a fifth starter. Fifth starters are guys who give you a quality start every other start or so, you hope. If Javy's truly turned a corner, then we don't have any of those.
So why would the Yankees go after Oswalt or Lee? We only need four good starters come the playoffs, so why would we add those guys when we have five good starters as it is? Sure it's tempting. But I don't think we need Oswalt or Lee. I would think the Ms now this, but they're apparently scouting our top catching prospects as though the Yanks are likely to give either of them (Romine and Montero) up for a pitcher we don't have much need for. Seems like wishful thinking to me.
Since then I've been thinking a lot about whether it makes sense for the Yankees to go after one of these guys. You can never have too much pitching, but right now we have five starters who are all throwing well. In fact, if Javy continues to give us seven innings on a regular basis, we don't even really have someone you can unqualifiedly call a fifth starter. Fifth starters are guys who give you a quality start every other start or so, you hope. If Javy's truly turned a corner, then we don't have any of those.
So why would the Yankees go after Oswalt or Lee? We only need four good starters come the playoffs, so why would we add those guys when we have five good starters as it is? Sure it's tempting. But I don't think we need Oswalt or Lee. I would think the Ms now this, but they're apparently scouting our top catching prospects as though the Yanks are likely to give either of them (Romine and Montero) up for a pitcher we don't have much need for. Seems like wishful thinking to me.
If the Yankees beat the Orioles, and there's no one around to see it, do they still win?
The Good
Hughes put up a quality start going 6 innings and giving up 3 runs. Certainly not his best effort this season, but good enough. Mark Teixeira woke up from his season long nap to go 3-4 with a homerun. Swisher was equally impressive with three hits and a homerun of his own.
The Bad
Stephen Strasburg had his long awaited major league debut last night against the Pittsburgh Pirates, striking out 14 in 7 innings with no walks. The Pirates argued that mutiny was to blame for their poor performance, but no one was buying it.
The Ugly
So does anyone remember why we let Gaudin go in the first place?
Respect Jeter's Gangster is for the Children
3 Yankee homeruns means 6 american dollars donated to the Children's Health Fund by the RJG. Thanks to Teixeira, Swisher, and Granderson for caring.
We want to remind you that if you donate any amount of money to the Children's Health Fund, and say that you were referred to them by the Respect Jeter's Gangster blog, you will automatically be entered into a raffle for tickets to the August 7 Yankees vs. Red Sox game. Click here to donate!
Posada 6hr = $12
Granderson 3hr = $6
Cano 11hr = $22
Swisher 9hr = $18
Jeter 6hr = $12
Johnson 2hr = $4
Rodriguez 8hr = $16
Teixeira 8hr = $16
Thames 2hr = $4
Gardner 3hr = $6
Winn 1hr = $2
Miranda 2hr = $4
Total = $122
Hughes put up a quality start going 6 innings and giving up 3 runs. Certainly not his best effort this season, but good enough. Mark Teixeira woke up from his season long nap to go 3-4 with a homerun. Swisher was equally impressive with three hits and a homerun of his own.
The Bad
Stephen Strasburg had his long awaited major league debut last night against the Pittsburgh Pirates, striking out 14 in 7 innings with no walks. The Pirates argued that mutiny was to blame for their poor performance, but no one was buying it.
The Ugly
So does anyone remember why we let Gaudin go in the first place?
Respect Jeter's Gangster is for the Children
3 Yankee homeruns means 6 american dollars donated to the Children's Health Fund by the RJG. Thanks to Teixeira, Swisher, and Granderson for caring.
We want to remind you that if you donate any amount of money to the Children's Health Fund, and say that you were referred to them by the Respect Jeter's Gangster blog, you will automatically be entered into a raffle for tickets to the August 7 Yankees vs. Red Sox game. Click here to donate!
Posada 6hr = $12
Granderson 3hr = $6
Cano 11hr = $22
Swisher 9hr = $18
Jeter 6hr = $12
Johnson 2hr = $4
Rodriguez 8hr = $16
Teixeira 8hr = $16
Thames 2hr = $4
Gardner 3hr = $6
Winn 1hr = $2
Miranda 2hr = $4
Total = $122
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
What a Weird Bronny Cash Call Looks Like
BC: Hello?
RJG: Yes, may I speak to Mr. Cashman please?
BC: Speaking.
RJG: I was just wondering whether you might comment on Teixeira's recent struggles and whether he should continue to hit in the three spot.
BC: Why yes, I will comment on that. Teix has definitely struggled, but we continue to support him and know he will turn it around soon. We are not at the point yet where we need to consider a demotion in the line-up.
RJG: Thank you for your time, sir.
BC: You're welcome.
[Click]
[Shudders]
RJG: Yes, may I speak to Mr. Cashman please?
BC: Speaking.
RJG: I was just wondering whether you might comment on Teixeira's recent struggles and whether he should continue to hit in the three spot.
BC: Why yes, I will comment on that. Teix has definitely struggled, but we continue to support him and know he will turn it around soon. We are not at the point yet where we need to consider a demotion in the line-up.
RJG: Thank you for your time, sir.
BC: You're welcome.
[Click]
[Shudders]
Monday, June 7, 2010
Time for Another Convo with the Bronstersaurus
With some percentage of the season behind us, and the impending draft, we thought it was a good time to fire up the old satellite video phone and give our good friend Brian Cashman a call. The following is a transcript of our conversation:
BC: Hello?
RJG: If it isn't ol' Bronny the Cash Machine Cash. How are your draft plans coming along?
BC: Good, but I'm pretty busy right now so can I ca. . .
RJG: So what round to you expect to draft me in?
BC: What?
RJG: Well, you had the chance to sign me as an international free agent to play left over the winter but you declined. I can only assume that it was because you expected to be able to draft me. Are you sure I'll still be on the board by the time 32 comes around?
BC: It's a risk we're willing to take.
RJG: I'm not sure I like your attitude, Cash. You think you're better me than me just because they wrote that 80s song about you?
BC: What song?
RJG: You know, the one that goes, "Rock the Cash bar, rock the Cash bar."
BC: That song's not about me. Those aren't even the words.
RJG: Whatever Bronny. You know what your problem is? Your ninja skills are sub par!
BC: What did you say?!
RJG: Nothing. Did you hear me say something. That's funny because I'm pretty sure I've been largely silent this whole time. Calm down, Bronny. Stop lifting furniture and throwing it. Holy $#!%. Did you just punch that cat? You just punched a cat, Bronny.
BC: I'm only going to ask this once, what did you just say?!
RJG: Um, oh look at that, it's raining. This never happens in the UK. Gotta go.
BC: You'll rue the day you crossed me, RJG!
RJG: Um, yeah. Gotta run and investigate this meteorological anomaly. Don't forget to draft me.
BC: I'll never draft you!
RJG: Now you're just being irrational. It's not all about you and your irrationality, Cash.
[Click]
So there you have it folks. Bronny and company are looking forward to an eventful draft.
BC: Hello?
RJG: If it isn't ol' Bronny the Cash Machine Cash. How are your draft plans coming along?
BC: Good, but I'm pretty busy right now so can I ca. . .
RJG: So what round to you expect to draft me in?
BC: What?
RJG: Well, you had the chance to sign me as an international free agent to play left over the winter but you declined. I can only assume that it was because you expected to be able to draft me. Are you sure I'll still be on the board by the time 32 comes around?
BC: It's a risk we're willing to take.
RJG: I'm not sure I like your attitude, Cash. You think you're better me than me just because they wrote that 80s song about you?
BC: What song?
RJG: You know, the one that goes, "Rock the Cash bar, rock the Cash bar."
BC: That song's not about me. Those aren't even the words.
RJG: Whatever Bronny. You know what your problem is? Your ninja skills are sub par!
BC: What did you say?!
RJG: Nothing. Did you hear me say something. That's funny because I'm pretty sure I've been largely silent this whole time. Calm down, Bronny. Stop lifting furniture and throwing it. Holy $#!%. Did you just punch that cat? You just punched a cat, Bronny.
BC: I'm only going to ask this once, what did you just say?!
RJG: Um, oh look at that, it's raining. This never happens in the UK. Gotta go.
BC: You'll rue the day you crossed me, RJG!
RJG: Um, yeah. Gotta run and investigate this meteorological anomaly. Don't forget to draft me.
BC: I'll never draft you!
RJG: Now you're just being irrational. It's not all about you and your irrationality, Cash.
[Click]
So there you have it folks. Bronny and company are looking forward to an eventful draft.
Sunday, June 6, 2010
Yanks Win Behind Javy's Strong Effort
The Good
Javy went seven strong innings, allowing only two runs on one mistake to Vernon Wells. This is significant because the Jays are not a slouch offensive team, so its good to see Javy put in a performance like this. This also means Dylan must have been watching. Also good, Mo came into the game twice, so he got all his cardio in for the day.
The Bad
When Tony Pena came out of the dugout with two outs in the bottom of the eighth, he signaled for the lefty, Marte. Mo however, wanted to win the game, and thought he better run out instead. Pena, however, insisted on Marte, standing firmly behind Joe Girardi's play the percentages approach to all things baseball. Besides, Mo's gesture hurt Marte's feelings and it was the only way for Pena to smooth things over.
The Ugly
When Marte recorded the last out of the eighth inning by striking out Adam Lind (I think) he came in to the dugout sniffling, saying, "You see, I'm just as good as Mo." The dugout erupted in laughter. "Can you even spell Mo?" came the question. "Yes. M. O. E," came the response from Marte. The laughter continued.
Where Have All the Home Runs Gone?
No home runs last night, as the Yanks were cowed by Brandon Morrow's weird last name. "It's like the word 'tomorrow'," explained one Yankee. "But without the T-O. It's really weird. Makes it hard to concentrate."
Posada 6hr = $12
Granderson 3hr = $6
Cano 11hr = $22
Swisher 9hr = $18
Jeter 6hr = $12
Johnson 2hr = $4
Rodriguez 8hr = $16
Teixeira 8hr = $16
Thames 2hr = $4
Gardner 3hr = $6
Winn 1hr = $2
Miranda 2hr = $4
Total = $122
Javy went seven strong innings, allowing only two runs on one mistake to Vernon Wells. This is significant because the Jays are not a slouch offensive team, so its good to see Javy put in a performance like this. This also means Dylan must have been watching. Also good, Mo came into the game twice, so he got all his cardio in for the day.
The Bad
When Tony Pena came out of the dugout with two outs in the bottom of the eighth, he signaled for the lefty, Marte. Mo however, wanted to win the game, and thought he better run out instead. Pena, however, insisted on Marte, standing firmly behind Joe Girardi's play the percentages approach to all things baseball. Besides, Mo's gesture hurt Marte's feelings and it was the only way for Pena to smooth things over.
The Ugly
When Marte recorded the last out of the eighth inning by striking out Adam Lind (I think) he came in to the dugout sniffling, saying, "You see, I'm just as good as Mo." The dugout erupted in laughter. "Can you even spell Mo?" came the question. "Yes. M. O. E," came the response from Marte. The laughter continued.
Where Have All the Home Runs Gone?
No home runs last night, as the Yanks were cowed by Brandon Morrow's weird last name. "It's like the word 'tomorrow'," explained one Yankee. "But without the T-O. It's really weird. Makes it hard to concentrate."
Posada 6hr = $12
Granderson 3hr = $6
Cano 11hr = $22
Swisher 9hr = $18
Jeter 6hr = $12
Johnson 2hr = $4
Rodriguez 8hr = $16
Teixeira 8hr = $16
Thames 2hr = $4
Gardner 3hr = $6
Winn 1hr = $2
Miranda 2hr = $4
Total = $122
Yanks Lose Series
The Good
Pettitte is still a better pitcher than you. The Yankees still have Derek Jeter and Mariano Rivera, which is pretty awesome. Also, the sun's gravitational pull is still securing the earth in a 365.25 day revolutionary cycle. So all's good.
The Bad
We just lost a series to Toronto, whose players enjoy free national health care. Our players, on the other hand, are old, and spend hours a day arguing with their insurers about coverage limits and out of network doctors (Galea anyone?). As such, they are emotionally and physically exhausted by game time and are thus at a competitive disadvantage against Canadian teams.
The Ugly
After the second game, Joe Girardi was asked whether Teixeira's struggles had prompted him to consider moving Teixeira out of the three-hole. Girardi's response was rather interesting.
"The thing about that is, in school they used to serve French bread pizza. It was pizza, but on a baguette. It was delicious. They don't serve that at the stadium. We gotta have our pizza on a regular dough base, like animals. And not one of those smart, trained animals, who do spy missions for the military. But dumb animals, like the ones who get captured and put in the zoo. Then, I says to him I says, 'what are you lookin' at?' I sure told him!"
The Captain Delivers
Derek Jeter was the only player concerned enough with the children to hit a home run during the last two games. For shame, Yankees, for shame!
Posada 6hr = $12
Granderson 3hr = $6
Cano 11hr = $22
Swisher 9hr = $18
Jeter 6hr = $12
Johnson 2hr = $4
Rodriguez 8hr = $16
Teixeira 8hr = $16
Thames 2hr = $4
Gardner 3hr = $6
Winn 1hr = $2
Miranda 2hr = $4
Total = $122
Pettitte is still a better pitcher than you. The Yankees still have Derek Jeter and Mariano Rivera, which is pretty awesome. Also, the sun's gravitational pull is still securing the earth in a 365.25 day revolutionary cycle. So all's good.
The Bad
We just lost a series to Toronto, whose players enjoy free national health care. Our players, on the other hand, are old, and spend hours a day arguing with their insurers about coverage limits and out of network doctors (Galea anyone?). As such, they are emotionally and physically exhausted by game time and are thus at a competitive disadvantage against Canadian teams.
The Ugly
After the second game, Joe Girardi was asked whether Teixeira's struggles had prompted him to consider moving Teixeira out of the three-hole. Girardi's response was rather interesting.
"The thing about that is, in school they used to serve French bread pizza. It was pizza, but on a baguette. It was delicious. They don't serve that at the stadium. We gotta have our pizza on a regular dough base, like animals. And not one of those smart, trained animals, who do spy missions for the military. But dumb animals, like the ones who get captured and put in the zoo. Then, I says to him I says, 'what are you lookin' at?' I sure told him!"
The Captain Delivers
Derek Jeter was the only player concerned enough with the children to hit a home run during the last two games. For shame, Yankees, for shame!
Posada 6hr = $12
Granderson 3hr = $6
Cano 11hr = $22
Swisher 9hr = $18
Jeter 6hr = $12
Johnson 2hr = $4
Rodriguez 8hr = $16
Teixeira 8hr = $16
Thames 2hr = $4
Gardner 3hr = $6
Winn 1hr = $2
Miranda 2hr = $4
Total = $122
Friday, June 4, 2010
Yanks Sweep, Cost Trembley His Job
The Good
Sabathia went seven innings, allowing three runs. Joba and Mo both gave us scoreless innings, while A-Rod and Gardner hit home runs.
The Bad
The Yankees win cost Orioles manager Dave Trembely his job. Apparently he had lied in his resume, where he claimed to be an expert in alchemy. When all was said and done, he just couldn't take the $#!% the Os gave him and turn it into gold, so he was let go.
The Ugly
When Brett Gardner hit his home run, he inexplicably stopped at second and started taking off his gear.
"It went out," the second base ump told him.
"Yeah, I know. Ground rule double," replied Gardner.
"No, it went out. Keep moving," explained the ump.
"Was there a balk?" asked a confused Gardner.
"No you hit it out. A home run. Home. Run home," exclaimed an exasperated ump.
"Wait, slow down," said Gardner. "Do you mean to tell me I just hit a home run? This never happens to me! This is so awesome. Are my feet on the ground? I feel like I'm floating. Do you think someone caught it on video? I hope they retrieve the ball."
"Just round the #$&%$@* bases," said the ump.
And round the bases he did. Uglily.
Unsurprising and Unexpected
A-Rod hit a home run and Gardner hit a home run. $4 more for the children. Did you ask about a raffle? You did? Well here are the details for how you can win tickets to a Yanks-BoSox game on August 7th. Who knows? You could end up in the same seat a young Derek Jeter used to sit in when he would come to the stadium as a child.
Posada 6hr = $12
Granderson 3hr = $6
Cano 11hr = $22
Swisher 9hr = $18
Jeter 5hr = $10
Johnson 2hr = $4
Rodriguez 8hr = $16
Teixeira 8hr = $16
Thames 2hr = $4
Gardner 3hr = $6
Winn 1hr = $2
Miranda 2hr = $4
Total = $120
Sabathia went seven innings, allowing three runs. Joba and Mo both gave us scoreless innings, while A-Rod and Gardner hit home runs.
The Bad
The Yankees win cost Orioles manager Dave Trembely his job. Apparently he had lied in his resume, where he claimed to be an expert in alchemy. When all was said and done, he just couldn't take the $#!% the Os gave him and turn it into gold, so he was let go.
The Ugly
When Brett Gardner hit his home run, he inexplicably stopped at second and started taking off his gear.
"It went out," the second base ump told him.
"Yeah, I know. Ground rule double," replied Gardner.
"No, it went out. Keep moving," explained the ump.
"Was there a balk?" asked a confused Gardner.
"No you hit it out. A home run. Home. Run home," exclaimed an exasperated ump.
"Wait, slow down," said Gardner. "Do you mean to tell me I just hit a home run? This never happens to me! This is so awesome. Are my feet on the ground? I feel like I'm floating. Do you think someone caught it on video? I hope they retrieve the ball."
"Just round the #$&%$@* bases," said the ump.
And round the bases he did. Uglily.
Unsurprising and Unexpected
A-Rod hit a home run and Gardner hit a home run. $4 more for the children. Did you ask about a raffle? You did? Well here are the details for how you can win tickets to a Yanks-BoSox game on August 7th. Who knows? You could end up in the same seat a young Derek Jeter used to sit in when he would come to the stadium as a child.
Posada 6hr = $12
Granderson 3hr = $6
Cano 11hr = $22
Swisher 9hr = $18
Jeter 5hr = $10
Johnson 2hr = $4
Rodriguez 8hr = $16
Teixeira 8hr = $16
Thames 2hr = $4
Gardner 3hr = $6
Winn 1hr = $2
Miranda 2hr = $4
Total = $120
Thursday, June 3, 2010
Hughes Dominates While Os Abominate! Only in America!
The Good
Hughes went seven strong, only allowing one earned run. Cano hit his team leading 12th home run, further catapulting him into the madness that comes with opposite field power. Gaudin proved the Yankees absolutely right in reacquiring him with two perfect innings of relief.
The Bad
Ken Griffey, Jr. retired after 34 years in the majors. He was hitting .184 with no home runs so far this season when he decided to hang them up. It's sad that he had to go out like that, but it is what it is.
The Ugly
Did you hear about that blown call to completely obliterate a perfect game? Jim Joyce explained what happened after the game.
"So I'm standing right behind the bag so I can call the play at first. Suddenly, there are these two bees right in front of me, so I figured I could finally use my patented double backhand bee slap to get them both. Meanwhile I hear the ball get hit and I figure it's in the air or something. I mean, who grounds out to first? So I backhand smack the hell out of these two bees, right? Next thing I know Cabrera is yelling at me for calling the guy safe. But I can't back down now, my dignity's at stake. So I'm all, 'He was safe!' And he's all 'You just blew a perfect game!' And I'm all, 'It wasn't so perfect.' And that's what happened."
Cano Does It Again
Cano hit another home run, garnering $2 more for the CHF. Bullies have stopped messing with him. Consider donating to the CHF and entering the raffle. You could end up at a Yankees-BoSox game with Jay-Z. Not that Jay-Z has agreed to go with the winner, but he could be there. It's not impossible.
Posada 6hr = $12
Granderson 3hr = $6
Cano 11hr = $22
Swisher 9hr = $18
Jeter 5hr = $10
Johnson 2hr = $4
Rodriguez 7hr = $14
Teixeira 8hr = $16
Thames 2hr = $4
Gardner 2hr = $4
Winn 1hr = $2
Miranda 2hr = $4
Total = $116
Hughes went seven strong, only allowing one earned run. Cano hit his team leading 12th home run, further catapulting him into the madness that comes with opposite field power. Gaudin proved the Yankees absolutely right in reacquiring him with two perfect innings of relief.
The Bad
Ken Griffey, Jr. retired after 34 years in the majors. He was hitting .184 with no home runs so far this season when he decided to hang them up. It's sad that he had to go out like that, but it is what it is.
The Ugly
Did you hear about that blown call to completely obliterate a perfect game? Jim Joyce explained what happened after the game.
"So I'm standing right behind the bag so I can call the play at first. Suddenly, there are these two bees right in front of me, so I figured I could finally use my patented double backhand bee slap to get them both. Meanwhile I hear the ball get hit and I figure it's in the air or something. I mean, who grounds out to first? So I backhand smack the hell out of these two bees, right? Next thing I know Cabrera is yelling at me for calling the guy safe. But I can't back down now, my dignity's at stake. So I'm all, 'He was safe!' And he's all 'You just blew a perfect game!' And I'm all, 'It wasn't so perfect.' And that's what happened."
Cano Does It Again
Cano hit another home run, garnering $2 more for the CHF. Bullies have stopped messing with him. Consider donating to the CHF and entering the raffle. You could end up at a Yankees-BoSox game with Jay-Z. Not that Jay-Z has agreed to go with the winner, but he could be there. It's not impossible.
Posada 6hr = $12
Granderson 3hr = $6
Cano 11hr = $22
Swisher 9hr = $18
Jeter 5hr = $10
Johnson 2hr = $4
Rodriguez 7hr = $14
Teixeira 8hr = $16
Thames 2hr = $4
Gardner 2hr = $4
Winn 1hr = $2
Miranda 2hr = $4
Total = $116
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Javy Goes Seven Strong, Defeats the Os
The Good
Seven innings and one run from your starter is always good. Javy's ERA is down to an almost respectable 20.67. A few more starts like this and he'll be golden. Granderson hit a home run against a lefty, making him officially better than Johnny Damon and Hideki Matsui combined.
The Bad
The Yankees, who were playing the Orioles last night, got seven innings of one run ball and a scoreless two innings from their 'pen. Despite this, the only reason they won was because of an error in the seventh that allowed two unearned runs to score. These are the Os people, that is unacceptable. I realize Matusz is probably their best pitcher, but still.
The Ugly
When the Yanks got back to the clubhouse after their win, there was a bear in it. Nobody knew how the bear had gotten into the clubhouse. Teixeira spoke up first, "It's an old Portuguese message," Teixeira explained. "It means there's a bear in the clubhouse."
"That's so stupid!" replied AJ Burnett, "That's not even a message, that's just what it is. As every good son of Arkansas knows, bears only appear when they want to be shot by hunters. I'm going to get my rifle from my truck."
AJ was quickly reminded that MLB has banned guns in the clubhouse. He quickly took the computer in his locker to draft a strongly worded letter to the Commissioner, whom AJ refers to as "Butt Selig."
Eventually the bear was anesthetized by highlight videos of the Orioles attempting to play baseball and removed from the clubhouse.
A Grander-Bomb, From Granderson
That would've been my call anyway. Granderson hit his third home run of the season, netting his fifth and sixth dollars for the children. If you want to be grand like Granderson, then enter the CHF raffle. Believe me, bullies will stop messing with you.
Posada 6hr = $12
Granderson 3hr = $6
Cano 11hr = $22
Swisher 9hr = $18
Jeter 5hr = $10
Johnson 2hr = $4
Rodriguez 7hr = $14
Teixeira 8hr = $16
Thames 2hr = $4
Gardner 2hr = $4
Winn 1hr = $2
Miranda 2hr = $4
Total = $116
Seven innings and one run from your starter is always good. Javy's ERA is down to an almost respectable 20.67. A few more starts like this and he'll be golden. Granderson hit a home run against a lefty, making him officially better than Johnny Damon and Hideki Matsui combined.
The Bad
The Yankees, who were playing the Orioles last night, got seven innings of one run ball and a scoreless two innings from their 'pen. Despite this, the only reason they won was because of an error in the seventh that allowed two unearned runs to score. These are the Os people, that is unacceptable. I realize Matusz is probably their best pitcher, but still.
The Ugly
When the Yanks got back to the clubhouse after their win, there was a bear in it. Nobody knew how the bear had gotten into the clubhouse. Teixeira spoke up first, "It's an old Portuguese message," Teixeira explained. "It means there's a bear in the clubhouse."
"That's so stupid!" replied AJ Burnett, "That's not even a message, that's just what it is. As every good son of Arkansas knows, bears only appear when they want to be shot by hunters. I'm going to get my rifle from my truck."
AJ was quickly reminded that MLB has banned guns in the clubhouse. He quickly took the computer in his locker to draft a strongly worded letter to the Commissioner, whom AJ refers to as "Butt Selig."
Eventually the bear was anesthetized by highlight videos of the Orioles attempting to play baseball and removed from the clubhouse.
A Grander-Bomb, From Granderson
That would've been my call anyway. Granderson hit his third home run of the season, netting his fifth and sixth dollars for the children. If you want to be grand like Granderson, then enter the CHF raffle. Believe me, bullies will stop messing with you.
Posada 6hr = $12
Granderson 3hr = $6
Cano 11hr = $22
Swisher 9hr = $18
Jeter 5hr = $10
Johnson 2hr = $4
Rodriguez 7hr = $14
Teixeira 8hr = $16
Thames 2hr = $4
Gardner 2hr = $4
Winn 1hr = $2
Miranda 2hr = $4
Total = $116
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Yanks Take Series from the Indians
The Good
Back to back home runs from A-Rod and Cano. A-Rod's was a grand slam of course, so he wins. Pettitte has his seventh win of the season and is currently on pace to win 54 games. Impressive.
The Bad
Did you see what the Padres did to the Mets? Even I felt kind of bad. Not so much for the Mets, but you know when someone falls down, and you start laughing, and pointing, and telling other people around you so they laugh and point too, but then you feel kind of bad for taking so much pleasure in somebody else's misfortune. That kind of bad.
The Ugly
So I'm over at Yankees.mlb.com and I see that Javy is set to pitch next, and somehow he has three wins. When did he win a third game? There was that first game early on that he didn't deserve to win but he won anyway. Then he had two good starts in a row, against Detroit and the Mets, but he only won one of those. So when did he win a third? Are his bullpen's now counting as victories?
The Sibling Rivalry
A-Rod took Cano and Melky under his wing when they both became regulars back in 2006. They were all very close. But recently Cano has grown mad with power. My sources tell me that he actually forced the Cabrera trade, telling Cashman he didn't care how poorly Javy might perform in the AL East. His home run yesterday was a warning that A-Rod better not take another grand slam opportunity away from him, unless he wants to play in Atlanta too.
Regardless of the intrigue, those two home runs earned the children $4 more. Consider donating to the children too, and entering the raffle, or Cano will have YOU shipped of to Atlanta. Food for thought.
Posada 6hr = $12
Granderson 2hr = $4
Cano 11hr = $22
Swisher 9hr = $18
Jeter 5hr = $10
Johnson 2hr = $4
Rodriguez 7hr = $14
Teixeira 8hr = $16
Thames 2hr = $4
Gardner 2hr = $4
Winn 1hr = $2
Miranda 2hr = $4
Total = $114
Back to back home runs from A-Rod and Cano. A-Rod's was a grand slam of course, so he wins. Pettitte has his seventh win of the season and is currently on pace to win 54 games. Impressive.
The Bad
Did you see what the Padres did to the Mets? Even I felt kind of bad. Not so much for the Mets, but you know when someone falls down, and you start laughing, and pointing, and telling other people around you so they laugh and point too, but then you feel kind of bad for taking so much pleasure in somebody else's misfortune. That kind of bad.
The Ugly
So I'm over at Yankees.mlb.com and I see that Javy is set to pitch next, and somehow he has three wins. When did he win a third game? There was that first game early on that he didn't deserve to win but he won anyway. Then he had two good starts in a row, against Detroit and the Mets, but he only won one of those. So when did he win a third? Are his bullpen's now counting as victories?
The Sibling Rivalry
A-Rod took Cano and Melky under his wing when they both became regulars back in 2006. They were all very close. But recently Cano has grown mad with power. My sources tell me that he actually forced the Cabrera trade, telling Cashman he didn't care how poorly Javy might perform in the AL East. His home run yesterday was a warning that A-Rod better not take another grand slam opportunity away from him, unless he wants to play in Atlanta too.
Regardless of the intrigue, those two home runs earned the children $4 more. Consider donating to the children too, and entering the raffle, or Cano will have YOU shipped of to Atlanta. Food for thought.
Posada 6hr = $12
Granderson 2hr = $4
Cano 11hr = $22
Swisher 9hr = $18
Jeter 5hr = $10
Johnson 2hr = $4
Rodriguez 7hr = $14
Teixeira 8hr = $16
Thames 2hr = $4
Gardner 2hr = $4
Winn 1hr = $2
Miranda 2hr = $4
Total = $114
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