Friday, June 18, 2010

Yankees Use Lead Bats, Don't Win

The Good

Pettitte put up a strong pitching effort last night, though it wasn't enough to overcome the weak offense. He went 7 innings, allowing 3 runs (2 earned) and struck out 7. Cano had another two hit game!

The Bad

The Yankees combined for 4 hits last night, and drove in a lone run. It was a depressing game that wasn't worth missing game 7 of the NBA finals for. I, on the other hand, missed both to watch The One with Jet Li. Its a movie where Jet Li's character Jude Law or something like that travels between multi-verses killing clones, or something, and then he has to fight himself in an epic battle that ends with Jason Statham falling in love with him. Or maybe not. I wasn't really paying attention to the story, but the fights were cool.

The Ugly

As a practical joke, the Philadelphia Phillies had snuck into the Yankees clubhouse and replaced all their wooden bats with lead ones. The result was yesterdays awful offensive performance. "My bat was so heavy." Lamented Mark Teixeira. "And now I'm hallucinating. I really wish I didn't use my bat to stir my drinks."

But did the Phillies forget to replace Cano's bat?

"I've always used lead bats." Explained Cano.


Respect Jeters Gangster is for the Children

The Yankees did not hit any homeruns last night, because they hate children. You on the other hand don't need to follow their lead. Donate to the Children's Health Fund AND tell them that you were referred by the RJG blog, and get yourself automatically entered into a raffle for tickets to the August 7th game between the Red Sox and Yankees.

The RJG blog will be donating $2 to the Children's Health Fund for every homerun hit by the Yankees this season. Here is what they've done so far:

Posada 9hr = $18
Granderson 5hr = $10
Cano 14hr = $28
Swisher 11hr = $22
Jeter 8hr = $16
Johnson 2hr = $4
Rodriguez 8hr = $16
Teixeira 10hr = $20
Thames 2hr = $4
Gardner 3hr = $6
Winn 1hr = $2
Miranda 2hr = $4
Total = $150


Rich Mahogany said...

Melky looks to have gone to the lead bat as well this year, perhaps to emulate his friend Cano.

lady gaganonymous said...

It's obvious we caught whatever the Phillies had while they were in town. OHHH NOOOO!!!!!!! PANIC!!!!

Seriously, last night's game brought out more ridiculous panicking on Twitter, NYYFans, random RAB comments, etc., about uh, everything, that I think I've ever seen before. It was kind of ridiculous.