Thursday, June 17, 2010

Burnett Wishes Upon a Fallen Star, but It Was Really A UFO

The Good

Though Cano and Posada knew that the game was likely lost, they made sure to give to the children by hitting homeruns. True givers never stop giving.

Perhaps more impressive was the work of our bullpen. After Burnett left the game in the 4th inning, Boone Logan stepped in and shut down the Phillies for 2 plus innings. Then Chad Gaudin came in and shut them down for the remaining three innings. Good performances from non-prime releivers.

The Bad

Jamie Moyer shut down the Yankees last night in a way that was both embarrasing, and insulting. Moyer, who turns 84 this year had this to say: "It kind of gave me flash backs to my rookie season. I struck out Babe Ruth and Lou Gehrig for the last outs in the first inning. That was when I got the call from Woodrow Wilson, he says to me he says 'Jamie, your country needs you overseas, fighting the axis of evil.', and I said 'Mr. President, I can foresee the future, and the stock market is going to crash in 10 years or so. So invest in Lucky Brand cigarettes, they'll be flying like trolley carts!'. And that was when I invented the slider. Struck out, Ty Cobb with it. Boy was he a bigot. But back then we all were."

The Ugly

AJ Burnett had another rough start last night lasting 3.1 innings and giving up 6 runs. After giving up his first run, he asked the umpire for a redo, but the umpire didn't budge. Burnett stared him down, but to no avail. He then called commissoner Selig to try and reverse the call. Here is the transcript:

AB - Evening....commissioner.
BS (unfortunate initials) - Is this Galarraga!? You can't have your perfect game! I'm Bud Selig!
AB - Its AJ.
BS - Oh, AJ, how goes it?
AB - Reverse the umpires call, I just gave up a run.
BS - Galarraga is that you!?
AB - No its AJ!
BS - From the Yankees?
AB - Yes.
BS - I still remember my first Yankees game as commissioner. Jamie Moyer struck out Babe Ruth and Lou Gehrig to end the first inning. Then President Wilson called him, and he says to him he says...


-End Transcript-

Respect Jeter's Gangster is for the Children

Cano and Posada hit homeruns last night to give hope to the children. Do YOU want to give hope to the children? Well, good news! Donate now to the Children's Health Fund AND tell them that you were referred by the RJG Blog, and you will automatically be entered into a raffle for tickets to the August 7 game between the Red Sox and Yankees at Yankee Stadium. You give hope to children, and then you can hope you win those tickets. Its a win-win for all involved.

Posada 9hr = $18
Granderson 5hr = $10
Cano 14hr = $28
Swisher 11hr = $22
Jeter 8hr = $16
Johnson 2hr = $4
Rodriguez 8hr = $16
Teixeira 10hr = $20
Thames 2hr = $4
Gardner 3hr = $6
Winn 1hr = $2
Miranda 2hr = $4
Total = $150


Rich Mahogany said...

AJ should lay off writing and calling The Commissioner, or there will soon be bears and scorpions in the clubhouse.

Fernando Alejandro said...

Selig typically follows bears and scorpions with hail and plague.

Ben Francisco Cervelli said...

A little ninja bird told me Bud Selig POISONED Andy's Birthday Cake.
All the Yankees players devoured the cake and were poisoned and lost again.
You can never trust a Baseball Commissioner who steals perfect games and poisons birthday cakes.