Thursday, April 24, 2014

Yankees Can't Pine Tar Their Way to Victory

The Good

Our bullpen looked solid.  Through 6.1 innings, they allowed 3 runs though only 1 of them was earned.  Beltran, Roberts and Soriano seemingly showed up to play, and had good nights at the plate, but the offense looked anemic overall.

The Bad

The Yankees made John Lackey look like Nolan Ryan last night, and not Nolan Ryan in the early 90's when he was well into his 40's, but mid-70's Ryan when he used to pitch 300 innings and strike out 300 batters.

The Ugly

Pineda was caught using a foreign substance (pine tar) to gain a better grip on the ball.  He most definitely got away with it after his last start against the Red Sox, where he had "dirt mixed with sweat" on the palm of his hand.  There are two likely explanations to why Pineda tried this.  One, he really was that self-deceived to think that a nationally televised game, with dozens of camera's and tens of thousands of spectators would not catch on to what he was doing.  Or two, he misunderstood the meaning of "foreign substance" to mean that he couldn't use any product that wasn't made in America.  We can ask him after his suspension.

How Much Money for the Children?

The Yankees raised a total of $0 for the children yesterday.

Brett Gardner 1hr = $2
Alfonso Soriano 4hr = $8
Kelly Johnson 3hr = $6
Carlos Beltran 5hr = $10
Dean Anna 1hr = $2
Brian McCann 3hr = $6
Yangervis Solarte 1hr = $2

Total 18hr = $36


Rich Mahogany said...

The second explanation is invalid. Pineda's pine tar was made by enslaved North Koreans.

Fernando Alejandro said...

Yes, but they were enslaved on American soil oddly enough.

Korean Cartman said...

I wish my N Korean brothas and sistas weren't such ruthless slave drivers... Besides why didn't they produce other things Pineda can use, like, "Pitching for Dummies".