Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Yanks Drop First Against Tigers

The Good

We almost won. That has to count for something. We got on base a lot. Also, Teixeira hit a home run, tying him for first place on the all-time Teixeira list.

The Bad

Our assortment of relief specialists couldn't get the job done, as Detroit scored 5 runs against us. All of the runs were driven in by Johnny Damon and AJax, who held hands the entire time they were beating us. How did we ever let them get away? I expect a Bronny Cash resignation any day now.

The Ugly

Johnny Damon hit a home run in the fifth inning off Mitre. As he stepped on home plate he turned to Posada and said, "Nice pitch selection, biznatch!" Posada jumped up, looked right at Damon, and said, "Hey, remember that time when you could've made more money with the Yankees but you ended up with a far lesser one year deal with Detroit? Good times! Have fun losing to the Twins!" in Spanish. Damon still wept.

He Doesn't Like Girls Named April

Teixeira hit another home run yesterday. He now owns the all-time record for inexplicable starts to the season.

Posada 5hr = $5
Granderson 2hr = $2
Cano 9hr = $9
Swisher 7hr = $7
Jeter 4hr = $4
Johnson 2hr = $2
Rodriguez 3hr = $3
Teixeira 6hr = $6
Thames 1hr = $1
Gardner 1hr = $1
Winn 1hr = $1
Total = $41


lady gaganonymous said...

It'd be funny if Teixeira's wife was named April (but she's not)

Roberto E. Alejandro said...

As I wrote it, I was actually thinking, "his wife isn't named April is she?" It's good to have confirmation on that issue.