Friday, September 23, 2011

Colon Explains His Performance

Colon has not been good of late, and he hasn't won a game since August. After the game, RJG caught up with Colon for an explanation:

RJG: Hey Bartolo! You sure suck lately. What gives?

Colon: Pitching isn't something easy to do. You have to block out the distractions when you're on the mound, but sometimes it's just too hard. Like today, before I leave for the park, my wife brushed an eyelash off my face and then blew it away. I was all 'what was that about?' And she's like, 'I made a wish'. So I'm like, 'that's so f#$&@!*g stupid! You think an eyelash is going to grant your wish?! You didn't even say your wish out loud! Is the eyelash a mind reading eye lash? Can it read your thoughts? Is it a magic eyelash, because I'm pretty sure it's just dead hair?! How does it go about granting your wish? Does it have like a Costco card or something? Does it go to Costco to grant the wish from when it read your mind?' I was thinking of that all day and I just couldn't focus on the mound.

RJG: Wow. How'd that go over with your wife?

Colon: Not well. Can I stay with you guys tonight?

RJG: No.


Rich Mahogany said...

Rather than blow the eyelash away, Colon's wife should have injected Colon with the stem cells from the eyelash. Replace superstition with science.

Roberto E. Alejandro said...

She's only licensed to practice medicine in the DR.