Thursday, September 15, 2011

Yanks Refuse to Give Rivera Shot at 601

The Good

Nova pitched well enough to win, giving us 7.1 innings of one run ball.

The Bad

The Yankees only hit well enough to lose. Swish had a solo homer in the 7th to tie the game at one apiece, but that was all the Yankees offense could muster against the vaunted Mariner's pitching staff.

The Ugly

Save the starting pitching performances, not much happened in this game. You know what would have made this game way better? Steroids. If everyone was on steroids, this game would've been awesome! Pitchers throwing 200mph. Hitters hitting ground balls out of the park (I know). Final scores nearing the triple digits. Formerly skinny weaklings lumbering around the diamond, now hulking men. It would be a whole team of Captain Americas. The New York Captain Americas. Instead we mustered a single run against one of the worst teams in all of sports, even pseudo-sports like Golf. Thanks a lot, Bud Selig!

The Donations

Swisher's home run was not only the lone contribution to our offense, but to the children as well. For shame!

Mark Teixeira 37hr = $74
Curtis Granderson 39hr = $78
Russell Martin 17hr = $34
Alex Rodriguez 15hr = $30
Jorge Posada 12hr = $24
Robinson Cano 26hr = $52
Andruw Jones 11hr = $22
Brett Gardner 6hr = $12
Nick Swisher 23hr = $46
Derek Jeter 5hr = $10
Francisco Cervelli 3hr = $6
Eduardo Nunez 4hr = $8
Ramiro Pena 1hr = $2
Eric Chavez 1hr = $2
Jesus Montero 3hr = $6
Chris Dickerson 1hr = $2
Total = $414


Rob B said...

You know what else is ugly? Luis Rodrigues is batting .198. one-#@!%-ninety-&*$!#-eight. And that is AFTER he went 3-5 with two doubles and the game winning HR last night. Ugly.

Roberto E. Alejandro said...

Yeah, but that number is only ugly when you think about it.