Monday, July 30, 2012

Yankees Drop Series to Last Place Red Sox

The Good

The children won't go home empty handed, as we did hit some home runs this series. Kuroda pitched well.

The Bad

Sabathia keeps showing up drunk for his starts. Look, I know he's a big guy and can put them away, but it's starting to affect his on-field performance. Someone has to step in and confront him. A team intervention may be the only way to save his season from being completely mired in inconsistency.

The Ugly

After the rubber match, Curtis Granderson refused to talk about the game; he had other things on his mind.

"Look," exclaimed Granderson, "we're all upset about the loss, but that's not important right now. What is important is that HBO is about to air a documentary on supermodels and how they've aged. I'd just like to say that I've aged quite well, thank you! Stop obsessing over my looks HBO, it just demonstrates your commitment to misogyny!"

Told that the entire press corp was looking forward to the documentary, Granderson paused for a moment.

"Well of course you're looking forward to it. I mean, it's about supermodels aging, who doesn't want to see that?"


I Should've Paid More Attention in Math

Remember when you were in high school, sitting in math class, and complaining that you'd never have to use this nonsense in real life, then you started a blog that requires frequent basic addition, and you struggle with it everyday? Yeah.

Martin had another home run in the last two games of the series, while Stewart, Nix, and Teixeira each had one. That's another $14 for the kids, and the taxpayers when the Fed decides to bail us out.

Raul Ibanez 13hr = $26
Nick Swisher 14hr = $28
Andruw Jones 12hr = $24
Derek Jeter 8hr = $16
Curtis Granderson 28hr = $56
Alex Rodriguez 15hr = $30
Robinson Cano 22hr = $44
Mark Teixeira 20hr = $40
Eric Chavez 8hr = $16
Russell Martin 12hr = $24
Jayson Nix 4hr = $8
Dewayne Wise 3hr = $6
Chris Stewart 1hr = $2

Total 160hr = $320

No comments: