Sunday, July 22, 2012

Yanks Drop Another Two-Straight Against Athletics

The Good

Hughes managed to improve his ERA a bit, and we managed to get another $2 for the CHF.

The Bad

The Yankees just got swept. By Oakland. Yes, the Oakland Athletics. Swept. Four games. In a row.

The Ugly

Facebook stock is still losing value. It's not clear how a company whose only product is given away for free is failing to be more profitable, but it is. Recently, Facebook executives turned to Yankees Chief Operating Officer, Lonn Trost for advice.

"Like Facebook, the Yankees also basically give away their product," explained Trost to uberjerk Mark Zuckerberg. "We produce wins and championships, the satisfaction of which can be enjoyed without paying a dime. But what you have to do is get people interested in the making of the product. People want to see how a championship gets built, and they'll pay $2500 a seat to watch it happen. That's how you become profitable."

Informed that nobody sits in the expensive seats at Yankee Stadium and that even fewer still would pay that much to watch a bunch of nerds type up code for hours, Trost grew exasperated and left the room. Mark Zuckerberg wept.

The CHF Still Gets Love

Even though we can no longer win and our season is doomed, the Yankees still managed to make another $2 for the CHF. Granderson hit his 26th home run of the season, garnering another $2 for the kids. Hurray!

Raul Ibanez 12hr = $24
Nick Swisher 14hr = $28
Andruw Jones 12hr = $24
Derek Jeter 7hr = $14
Curtis Granderson 26hr = $52
Alex Rodriguez 14hr = $28
Robinson Cano 22hr = $44
Mark Teixeira 19hr = $38
Eric Chavez 8hr = $16
Russell Martin 10hr = $20
Jayson Nix 3hr = $6
Dewayne Wise 3hr = $6

Total 150hr = $300

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